Rose Thorns
by Lily Turtle
Summary: Because sometimes, love hurts. Because it can challenge. Because it can turn on itself. Because love is a force and a superpower, and not an option. And because it will test Edward and Bella to their utmost limits. Even roses have thorns...
1. Chapter 1

A PREVIEW OF SOMETHING IM WORKING ON…JUST WANTED TO SEE IF ANYONE LIKED IT. REVIEWS WOULD BE LOVELY. ILL PAY YOU BACK ONE DAY IF YOURE, O I DON'T KNOW, DANGLING OFF A CLIFF OR SOMETHING.

We exited the truck when we got to the Cullen residence. Edward let me walk for once. Exactly how long had it been since my feet had touched the ground?

Anyway, any chance of him ever letting me walk again was ruined when I smacked my head smartly against the door frame.

Edward was by my side in a millisecond. Probably less than a millisecond actually. He turned me around facing him, and I watched as his inspecting gaze wandered across my forehead looking for any serious injury.

Finally satisfied, he smiled. "You know," he said, looking me in the eye. "There's a door there."

Ha. Ha. Let us make fun of the human, shall we?

I glared. "Edward, I might not be able to take you down by myself – yet," I sternly reminded. His smile fell, but only a tad bit. "However, I'm not afraid to buy a rocket launcher."

"A rocket launcher? Well, it could possibly make a dent," he smirked, "But really Bella, you and a weapon of mass destruction equals…well…mass destruction," he continued, "Forks would be leveled."

My glare was stuck on my face like gorilla glue. But so was his smirk. He went on, saying, "And I hear rocket launchers are rather pricey."

"Don't worry about that," I said, "I already have a bank account set up."

"Oh."

"Yes, it's called the dumb-vampire-gets-on-every-last-nerve fund." My delivery was smug.

Edward laughed.

"I even have sponsors," I continued.

"Mhmm, and who might they be?"

"Alice Cullen Incorporated," I retorted.

All of a sudden, there stood Alice Inc., on the bottom of the stairwell. I always forgot about the keenness of vampire hearing. "Yay, conspiracy," she said. "We can go weapons shopping tomorrow."

I smiled. Of course she would turn a murder plot into a shopping spree. "Whatever you say, Alice."

I started to turn back to Edward, but saw that he was stalking over to the couch, mumbling something that sounded like "women."

"Come on, Bella," Alice called. "I have all these new clothes I want you to try on that I…"

But I was gone, running towards the couch, and my savior, at top speed. I jumped in his arms. He laughed and looked down. "So, you first make plans for my ultimate demise, and then ask me to save you from torture, is that it?" he asked.

"Pretty much yea," I replied.

"Well then, have fun in Makeup Land," he stated.

I sighed. I might as well have had my own box, with Barbie Bella written in big hot pink letters across the front.

"Well," I said, with a dramatic flourish, "if I'm not back in thirty minutes – I've thrown myself out of a window."

He looked down then, amusement evident in his features.

In keeping with my theatrical theme, I jumped from his lap, covered my face with one hand, and gasped out, "Goodbye, Edward," before turning on my heels and walking towards Alice. A.K.A. my doom.


	2. Chapter One ACTUALLY

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but man if i did... **grabs towel to wipe up excessive drool**.

A BIGGGGG super dooper ollie ooper shout out to all my reviewers

_**darkred22: Thank you. I try to avoid cheese if I can help it.**_

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_**Purple is my color: No it isn't... Blue is. **_

_**Twilightfan9748: Short, sweet, and to the pt., thank you.**_

_**INVX: I recommend Bank of America. Thank you. Loved your post. Rambling is good. I like to ramble. In fact, I ramble all the time. Oh look, trees. There's a tree outside. I LOVEEE trees. They're just so green and leafy. Like a salad.**_

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_**Slinkybob24: Exactly HOWWWW slinky? Muchos Gracias. **_

Chapter 1

My Edward. There he was standing across the chapel in his tuxedo. A black one as smooth as velvet. Perfect. It matched his voice.

The airflow to my lungs halted immediately. Breathing? What was that again? I felt like all of my bodily organs just shut down when I looked up to his topaz orbs. They were staring at me with something new. A kind of possessive finality.

I looked down and flushed the color of apples in June. He only grinned.

_Come on feet_. Only fifteen yards worth of steps and Edward would be mine for eternity...quite literally.

I walked with my head held high, a proud bride. Charlie and Renee were here somewhere I was sure, but it felt like just the two of us, Edward and I.

I was so close now. He reached out his hands for mine. Our fingers brushed, and then he was gone. Just poof. Like that.

Chilling laughter met my airs, and I pivoted. There stood my Edward, in the arms of a strawberry blonde enchantress I knew to be Tanya.

Wait a second. The chilling laughter was coming from him.

"Honestly Bella. You really thought you were the only one," Edward mocked.

I closed my eyes. This couldn't be happening, not when I was so close.

My eyes looked on with helpless desperation as Tanya whispered something into my almost-groom's ear, all the while watching me with teasing eyes. And I continued to watch as Edward laughed.

"Edward..." I began, taking a tentative step towards him.

His laughter turned to scorn and revulsion. "Bella, look at you. You'll never be good enough for me." And with that, he strolled out of our wedding with Tanya on his arm, leaving me at the altar.

Everything was blurry after that for the tears gathering in my eyes. The watery droplets hit the stone floor of the church, and with them, so did my knees.

"No," I heard myself sob. "NO!" At the top of my lungs, I yelled that one word over and over again.

God, it was all so blurry, but I kept screaming – till I felt twin vices encircle me in their grip.

Between my futile gasps, I heard voices. "Bella." I kept squirming.

"Bella, shhhhh. It's alright, Bella." There was that voice again. "Shhhh. You'll wake Charlie."

Charlie? Who cared? The reason for my being just left me for good.

Suddenly, I felt something warm touch my lips.

Gasping, I opened my eyes – and have never been so happy to not be blind in all my life.

There was my angel above me, kissing me softly. I gave into it.

Finally, he looked up and smiled, blessing me with one of his trademark lopsided grins. It did not quite manage, however, to reach his concerned-filled eyes.

"Finished?" he questioned.

"With the screaming? Yes," I replied, then honestly added, "With the kissing? Not so much."

I started to sit up in order to reach him better, but he pushed me back down.

"Allow me," His voice was soft. Husky.

His perfect face leaned down. His lips brushed across my face, gently kissing away my tears.

What was my name again? Bertha? Bethany?

My eyes closed and I reveled in the sensation, a contented smile on my lips.

Quick as a flash, he was on his back, head against my oak headboard, me lying in his arms.

"So tell me Bella. Did the Muppets try to steal your shoes again? Or was it the Smirfs this time?" he teased, mimicing the lie I told him last night when I had woken up screaming.

"Well, you know how those smirfs are," I answered, "Completely vicious."

Edward's chest rumbled against my spine when he chuckled.

"But no," I continued, "They were unicorns. And they only took the left ones."

He kissed the top of my head, and I snuggled in closer.

"Hey, Edward," I said.

"Hmmm?"

"I need a shower now."

His arms tightened around my waist. "How terrible unfortunate for you."

"But Edward," I whined, "I smell."

"Yes you do. You smell wonderful, but I am not letting you off this bed until you tell me what your dream was about."

My breath came out as a juff. "I told you already." Come hell and high water, I was sticking to my unicorn fib.

"Mhmm," he replied, working his kisses from the crown of my head, down to my cheekbone, "and what did these unicorns look like?" he said between kisses.

Sweet, sweet kisses. "Purple...with...yellow...pinstripes...errrrr...I mean...polka dogs!" I said in the few instances that I had oxygen available for use.

"Sounds terrifying." His warm breath tickled my skin and set it ablaze.

If I didn't get out of there soon, I'd tell him everything.

A battle strategy. That's what I needed.

Breathlessly, I pointed out the window. "Look over there!" I cried.

Edward's head whipped around. "What is it?" he asked alarmed.

I used this opportunity to slide out of his arms and run for the bathroom, not so easy while in hysterics.

Edward, my immortal, experienced, 101-year-old fiancee, had just fallen for a classic game of "Look over there!"

Somehow I reached the bathroom and closed the door before he caught up with me. I collapsed onto the fuzzy yellow bathroom rug into a hopeless fit of giggles.

"Bella, that was not funny," he said, sounding...dare I say it...embarrassed.

"Oh yes it was," I countered, "and you know another thing – Gullible is no longer a word in the dictionary," I said seriously, "they took it out."

Silence greeted me on the other side of the door, then, "What do you mean?"

I fell back on the floor and laughed harder. My abdomen was burning. All the fluffy hairs on the rug were compressed from were I was repeatedly rolling on top of them.

Edwad just sighed and mumbled something. "Why do you need a shower at this exact moment anyway?"

"The early bird gets the word," I replied in a sing-song voice.

"Bella, that doesn't even make sense." His voice was exasperated, yet still amused.

Drat. Wrong expression. "I mean good things come to those who wait," I corrected.

"So, wait to shower, and get a good thing."

Was Edward being suggestive? God forbid. Lead me not into temptation.

Quickly I started the shower. I grabbed a pen and scribbled "I Love You" on a piece of tissue paper before sliding it under the door. Then I hopped in the tub.


	3. Chapter Two ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer:** I own a hairdryer. Please don't take it from me... I don't want to have frizzy hair.

_**Perplexing platypus: I am perplexed as to how I could have left out your oh so perplexing self. My sincerest apologies...and thank you.**_

Chapter 2

No matter what I did to try to take my mind off of that terrible dream, it haunted me for the rest of the day

I just didn't know what was wrong. I'd been having these nightmares for the past week and a half, which was odd, because I normally never had nightmares when he was with me. It wasn't cold feet about the wedding, though, I was sure. I actually wanted to get married. After the showdown with Victoria, some girlish instinct to be claimed as his had shaken off the cobwebs and consumed me.

I took a long thoughtful slurp from my strawberry milkshake.

Something ice cold brushed my hand, and I jumped, startled.

I met Edward's bemused gaze with a sheepish one of my own. His hand took mine.

"Bella, let's go do something," he stated suddenly, while playing with my fingers.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Anything?" his butterscotch eyes bored into my soul.

I stopped mid-slurp.

"Anything at all to make you be yourself again," he continued, "Rock climbing, snorkeling. We can climb Mount Kilimanjaro for all I care, just _something_ to bring my Bella back," he paused, "You haven't said more than two words to me all day."

I contemplated a second. "This makes five," I said, before continuing the very slow process of finishing my drink.

"Bella..."

I lifted my face and smiled at him teasingly. His demeanor melted back into relief.

"Well," I began, "if we go to Kilimanjaro, you can hunt real lions."

The worried coil in the pit of my stomach relaxed when he grinned. I think he was finally acclimating to my vampire jokes.

Pale fingers reached up to run through their owner's bronze hair. A sigh escaped his perfect lips. "Whatever am I going to do with you, Bella?"

Well, while we're on that subject, I could _definitely_ think of quite a few things. A regular myriad of things, actually.

"But I think I'll stick to Chef Boyardi," I added, "if we go to Africa."

Edward laughed. Ahhhh. I could drown in that laugh. Drown thoroughly and blissfully in that silky, smooth river.

"Let's wait on Afiica. I know a better place," he siad, taking my hand and leading me out of the milkshake shop, after paying of course.

* * *

In ten minutes flat, we were in our meadow. My knuckles were still white from the insanely fast drive over here.

Right now, we were lying side by side, fingers barely touching, making out shapes in the clouds.

"I remember doing something like this," he broke our tranquil silence. His voice took on an alien reminiscent tone. "With my mom before we took ill."

My mouth was open, ready for a comforting reply, but my mind came up with an empty sieve. What could I say to that? I moved myself so that my head was resting on his shoulder.

We lay there for a while making the clouds come alive: a bunny rabbit here, a man with a fishing pole there, and even a unicorn (purple and yellow polka dot free).

"You should really spend some time with Charlie," he said finally.

"Tomorrow," I replied.

Edward nuzzled my hair, "That's what you said yesterday."

I sighed. Ever since I'd told my father about the engagement, Charlie-time had been awkward.

The actual telling him part was something akin to a nuclear explosion, one that even the cockroaches couldn't survive.

I turned my head and gazed off into the woods, glad Edward had let the subject drop.

Two cardinals were perched on a tree branch, a brilliant red male cardinal, and a dull brown female one. I sent a telepathic "I can relate" to her.

But maybe it didn't have to be like that. Maybe the boy cardinal was actually a vampire bird and they could both be beautiful and nest together forever. But the boy cardinal wants the girl to go to college because he's a stubborn doofus who can't see all the potentially dangerous thing that could happen to the girl cardinal, and when it does, he's going to run off to a bunch of evil mob vampires in Italy who will...

Calm down, Bella. Just calm down.

I looked back to the tree and noticed something peculiar. The birds had taken wing, and in their place was a shadow, a dark looking thing.

Fast as lightning, it darted to the side, and I scrambled to my feet.

"Edward, did you see that?"

"What?" He was standing beside me.

"Do you smell anything weird?"

"No," he said worriedly. "What did you see?"

I blinked again. The sun on my face and the bright clear day made the alarm easily dissipate. "It must have been the light or something," I said.

That appeased him.

"Come on," he swooped me up into his arms, "I have a surprise for you," he announced.

"Oh no," I groaned, "I hate surprises.


	4. Chapter Three ACTUALLY

**Here's the beginning part. It wasn't originally meant to go here, but then I changed the plot so...**

**Step one. Disclaimer: I do not own this in any way. If you make me say it one more time, I'll hit you with a tray.**

**Step two: Thank you all my lovely reviewers. Keep it up. You are my muse. ******

**Step three:**

Chapter 3

We exited the truck when we got to the Cullen residence. Edward let me walk for once. Exactly how long had it been since my feet had touched the ground?

Anyway, any chance of him ever letting me walk again was ruined when I smacked my head smartly against the door frame.

Edward was by my side in a millisecond. Probably less than a millisecond actually. He turned me around facing him, and I watched as his inspecting gaze wandered across my forehead looking for any serious injury.

Finally satisfied, he smiled. "You know," he said, looking me in the eye. "There's a door there."

Ha. Ha. Let us make fun of the human, shall we?

I glared. "Edward, I might not be able to take you down by myself – yet," I sternly reminded. His smile fell, but only a tad bit. "However, I'm not afraid to buy a rocket launcher."

"A rocket launcher? Well, it could possibly make a dent," he smirked, "But really Bella, you and a weapon of mass destruction equals…well…mass destruction," he continued, "Forks would be leveled."

My glare was stuck on my face like gorilla glue. But so was his smirk. He went on, saying, "And I hear rocket launchers are rather pricey."

"Don't worry about that," I said, "I already have a bank account set up."

"Oh."

"Yes, it's called the dumb-vampire-gets-on-every-last-nerve fund." My delivery was smug.

Edward laughed.

"I even have sponsors," I continued.

"Mhmm, and who might they be?"

"Alice Cullen Incorporated," I retorted.

All of a sudden, there stood Alice Inc., on the bottom of the stairwell. I always forgot about the keenness of vampire hearing. "Yay, conspiracy," she said. "We can go weapons shopping tomorrow."

I smiled. Of course she would turn a murder plot into a shopping spree. "Whatever you say, Alice."

I started to turn back to Edward, but saw that he was stalking over to the couch, mumbling something that sounded like "women."

"Come on, Bella," Alice called. "I have all these new clothes I want you to try on that I…"

But I was gone, running towards the couch, and my savior, at top speed. I jumped in his arms. He laughed and looked down. "So, you first make plans for my ultimate demise, and then ask me to save you from torture, is that it?" he asked.

"Pretty much yea," I replied.

"Well then, have fun in Makeup Land," he stated.

I sighed. I might as well have had my own box, with Barbie Bella written in big hot pink letters across the front.

"Well," I said, with a dramatic flourish, "if I'm not back in thirty minutes – I've thrown myself out of a window."

He looked down then, amusement evident in his features.

In keeping with my theatrical theme, I jumped from his lap, covered my face with one hand, and gasped out, "Goodbye, Edward," before turning on my heels and walking towards Alice. A.K.A. my doom.

Before I reached her, I turned around, "Edward, this is an awful surprise."

"Oh, this isn't the surprise," he said, "Your surprise isn't ready yet."

I hung my head in mock sorrow, "Woe is me."

A strange tapping sound floated up to my ears. I turned and noticed that the source of it was Alice's foot, tapping the hardwood at supersonic vampire speed.

"Come on," she said before towing me up the stairs.

"Patience is a virtue," I quipped, as I was unceremoniously shoved in her room.

I gaped when I glanced about me. When Alice said 'some clothes', what she really should have said was 'the entire contents of every store in Paris'.

Outfits were lined up in a rack at the center of her room, by colors, red to indigo.

"Where do you want to start?" she asked brightly.

"Canada," I suggested, turning to leave, planning to hide in said country, but not before I saw the pout.

I really was a sucker for the puppy dog pout.

"Where do you want me to start, Alice?"

My friend beamed before directing me in the applying of my new apparel.

Eleven outfits later, we were still just in orange, or coral, as Alice informed me.

"Why do I need to do this again?" I asked exasperated.

"You'll need a new wardrobe for Dartmouth of course," her voice was casual, like how one would discuss stock prices.

She had to be kidding me. "One:," I stated, "I haven't even agreed to go to college yet. And two: this is for _me?_"

"Duh, silly," she said, "well only the ones that work for you," she looked at me in the latest orange concoction, "Peach is not your color."

I groaned. "I won't accept them. Just be aware."

"After all the time I spent looking for them," she said in a sad voice, pouting again.

"Curse you, puppy dog pout," I sighed, "All right. They _are_ pretty. But still. This stuff is for gorgeous people like you, not for me."

"Nonsense," she said, "that scarlet one you tried on is going to drive Edward crazy in a month or two."

I blushed. Stupid, psychic, annoying best friend.

Suddenly, I caught a whiff of a strange smell, well normal for other families, but not for the Cullens. It smelled like – food...I had an inkling as to what my surprise was.

I looked back at Alice, and my brows furrowed. She was looking at me, but not really. Her eyes were distant. It finally hit me that she was seeing the future.

At last, she moved, stepping back a step or two, before looking at me and announcing, "The Denali clan is coming."

Oh no. Tanya. The nightmare. Ugly girl cardinals. It all slammed into me like a tidal wave.


	5. Chapter Four ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer:** I do own the Twilight series believe it or not. Jasper, Bella, Edward...we have tea on Sundays. Oh darn, I just woke up. **Brutally murders alarm clock**.

_**The Denalis will be in the next chapter I promise...I had a really difficult time figuring out their stories. I went through and gave them all personal histories and personalities. Hope you like. Enjoy these last tension free Edward and Bella moments...MWUHAHAHAHAHA**_

_**SHOUT OUTS (i lovveeeee squiglies**_

_**Mattybabe: NOOOOO WAYYYY! I shall try my very best. :S that is my favorite emoticon btw. Thank you for using it.**_

_**VesperJones: Thanks for the shout out in your fic. And thanks for that comment. It made my day, well week, well life...and afterlife. I can die happy.**_

_**Rocknfire12345: Gracias. Metaphors ARE the meaning of life, don't you know. Look it up in the dictionary.**_

_**Kersicca: NOOOO!!! NOT THE HAIRDRYER!!!! My hair is frizzing at the very thought. (shudders)**_

_**Nobodyparticular: Me too. I wish I had an Edward to do it to.**_

_**Loudie: I love your spelling quite a lot actually. It's almost as bad as mine. We're in the same boat, on the same airplane, riding on the same camel.**_

_**INVX: That was you? Drat! I can't believe I fell for your evil tricks. Polkadogs are super cool. I have a link to them in my profile. **_

Chapter 4

I was having a difficult time breathing.

"Breathe, Bella, breathe," I heard Alice say, "I'd give you some advice but I don't really remember what it was like to have to, so..."

Air came tumbling out of my lungs in a whoosh.

"The Denalis?" I asked.

"Yep," replied Alice somberly.

"Is Tanya with them?"

"Yep," she answered, "And guess who else is?" Alice's face was twisted in scorn.

"Who?" Who else mattered?

"_Kate_," she said in a high pitched, squealing tone. This much disgust for someone was strange coming from her.

"Best friends?" I asked teasingly.

She groaned before correcting, "Archenemies."

I gave her a puzzled look.

And she gave me a puzzling answer, "Let's just say that you and me might be on the same boat."

I thought about that for a moment, then the dusty light bulb floating above my head switched on. My lips twitched. "If by boat, you mean 490 Battle Cruiser, than yes, we are definitely on the same boat."

She shot me an evil grin, "Come on, Bella. Let's go tell everyone about the intruders. AHEM. I mean guests," we linked arms, "but after dinner," she added.

"I knew it!" I exclaimed, after she had confirmed my suspicions about the surprise.

"Drat," my partner in crime muttered as we walked out the door, "Well, act surprised anyways."

Coming down the stairs, I spied Emmet and Edward in the living room, watching, of all things, a discovery channel special on zebras.

Before my feet hit the floor coming down off the last step, even faster than I could blink, Edward had caught me and was setting me on my feet.

"You're alive!" he rejoiced in joking wonder, "It's a miracle!"

"Oh, I don't know," Emmet said coming to stand beside him, "She's still standing up – Maybe she's a ghost."

Emmet really needed a reminder that I was clumsy. Not five.

I shot them both a say-one-more-word-and-I'll-cut-off-your-fingers-and-make-you-eat-them-I-don't-care-if-you-are-a-vampire (phew) look.

"I guess I had better check her vitals," Edward said with a grin.

Well, **I** guess that he wasn't very fond of his digits, because he started checking my pulse.

"Dr. Edward, did you find a pulse?" asked Emmet.

"Maybe – but I'm not sure," he replied.

I rolled my eyes.

"Well," he began, "there's one sure way to find out." His comment had too much cheek injected in it to not be something I'd blush about.

Edward leaned forward and whispered something into my ear. A PG-13, not suitable for children, parents please block this channel something.

And my prediction was right. I did blush. Strawberries, apples, Mrs. Scarlet in the ballroom with a rope: they had nothing on the color of my face.

Emmet was a bad influence – a _very_ bad influence. Remind me to thank him.

"By George, I think we've done it," Emmet exclaimed in a god-awful British accent.

"I hate you," I said, before starting to walk away. Apparently though, Edward thought that this was a bad idea for he caught me in his arms, squeezing me to his chest.

"Oh, no you don't," he whispered, "Remember how this worked out last time?"

I turned around to face him then...and smiled, putting my arms around his neck. "You know what?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow, one perfectly arched (perfect in general) eyebrow. Wow. He made me lose my train of thought. Actually, he _wrecked_ my train of thought – and he did it with an eyebrow.

My frazzled state disappeared in a moment though, and the taunting smirk returned to my face. I beckoned for him to come closer with my pointer finger.

He did, leaning down, and I tilted my face as if to whisper in his ear.

I let him wait in suspense for a moment before yelling, "I've been walking by myself for eighteen years!" directly at the source of his uber-keen vampire hearing.

Edward cringed. Emmet's booming laugh ricocheted off the walls.

Soon, my laughter joined his, and then, finally, so did Edward's.

His mirthful eyes met mine. "That only makes it all the more pitiful that you haven't mastered it by now. You're still not off the hook," he said as he scooped me up into his arms.

They had become a second home to me now.

Correction: his arms _were_ home.

"It's surprise time," he announced joyfully.

Now, a normal girl would have clapped, squealed in joy, smiled, performed some action signifying joy. But I thought that the fact that I preferred to spend my time with the immortal vampire family of my immortal vampire husband-to-be landed me several miles south of 'normal', so I only groaned and smooshed my face into Edward's shoulder.

"You still love me though," said Edward. The pitch in his voice was soft; standing delicately on the fence that separated teasing from dead seriousness.

"Somehow," I answered with a laugh. I glanced up and saw that Edward's mouth was tense.

Quickly, I planted a kiss on the closest patch of skin I could reach, the side of his neck.

"Of course," I corrected, completely sullen this time.

He visibly relaxed before walking towards the kitchen.

I sighed and muttered, "Here we go."

"You'll like it," he reassured, "I promise.

Reaching the kitchen, I spied Esme standing by the oven.

If she thought it was strange that I was being toted around in her son's arms, she didn't show it. In fact, she glowed. "Surprise, Bella!"

My abductor started to put me down, then stopped, "Are you sure you can handle it?" he asked, grinning from ear to ear.

I put both hands on his shoulders and breathed deeply, "I think I'm ready."

He laughed at this, but set me on my feet all the same.

Before me, was a dinner big enough to feed everyone in China – twice over.

A glistening roasted chicken was the centerpiece, with a heap of mashed potatoes in a silver bowl next to it. Radiating out from the chicken were assorted vegetables – listed clockwise: cream corn, okra, tomatoes scattered over some sort of pasta, green beans, and peas. On the far side lay the desserts. They consisted of at least four pies, a tray of brownies, and a rather questionable looking cake.

"Wow, Esme..." I said.

"Sit down, dear, sit down!" Esme bubbled over with excitement. She reminded me of a ready teakettle.

I sat. "It looks delicious."

Esme beamed, right before she heaped a mountain of food on my plate.

Tentatively, I tried the potatoes.

Mmmmmmm.

"Wow, Esme, this is great," I told her, meaning every word.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, I was eating a slice of the apple pie. 

Alice and Jasper had come in to watch the human freak show.

I swear I heard Jasper murmur "Where does she put it?" to Alice at one point.

Currently though, Alice was the subject upon which Jasper and Edward's befuddled gazes were fixed.

"Alice," Edward started, "alphabetizing the scientific names of the world's marsupials cannot be that exciting."

I giggled into my chocolate milk. So, that's what she was thinking about to distract Ed.

Alice looked offended for a moment. "I call it a hobby," she defended, "for _your_ information."

"Last week, it was amphibians," I threw in...just for good measure.

Jasper looked at me, "Sure it was."

Edward appeared to be flustered.

Alice looked at me, "We may as well tell them, Bella."

I nodded.

Jasper went to round up the rest of the Cullens.

I glanced back at Alice and Edward. He was looking at her with an intense expression. She was gazing at a potted plant in the corner of the room like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

When everyone was gathered, she gave them the news. "The Denalis are coming to pay us a visit."

Dead silence was not the reaction I was expecting. Clearly, Alice was right to have waited until after dinner.

"When?" Edward broke the silence. His voice was terse.

"Tonight," Alice replied sheepishly.

I was confused. I knew what my problem with them was, but I was pretty sure that the Cullens and the Denalis were friends.

I looked around the room and studied the faces.

Two people looked remotely happy: Esme and Rosalie. Carlisle and Emmet were gazing at me with strange, nervous expressions. Jasper was staring at Alice with the same one.

"Is this...bad?" I asked quietly.

No one said a word.

Finally Jasper, sensing my nervousness, answered my question. "We haven't been on the best of terms since the Laurent episode."

Ahhh, Laurent. Victoria's friend had lived with them for a while. I had forgotten. I shuddered a little.

Edward was still gazing at Alice. He looked every inch the vampire he was. "Why?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Irina's gone," she told him, still totally focused on the ficus.

Irina? Who? What all hadn't Alice told me?

"Bella," Edward turned, addressing me, "we need to go."

"But I..."

Now." he said sharply. His eyes were burning with some kind of well-contained fury.

This was the first time in a long time that I had ever felt uncomfortable in the Cullen's house. And embarrassed to boot. Embarrassed because I was so naive, that I was out of the loop, that everyone knew something I didn't and that no one cared enough to tell me.

"Too late," Alice said meekly.

The doorbell rang.

* * *

Not my best work, admittedly. I tried to resist the urge to write insane elephant related humor between Bella and Edward because I wanted this chapter to be a bit tense. Why are they tense? Only I know the answer. Reviews would be very much appreciated. 

Tune in next time where you will undoubtebly read about:

Nancy Drew

Monopoly

Camels...tehehehe. LOTS of camels.


	6. Chapter Five ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer**: I don't own them. If I did though, I would never leave my room. Imagination alone could sustain me.

_**Mattybabe: With this, I shall pull you back from the brink of death. Hope it answers some of your questions.**_

_**Kersicca: wow, you are ridiculously perceptive...it's like your watching me...looks around suspiciously...**_

_**Rocknfire12345: thanks oodles and kaboodles.**_

_**Deepcutfighter: Hope this makes you happy **__****_

_**INVX: you know, i found myself wondering the same thing. Why is it that in this great nation, we do not have a place that delivers turkey?**_

Chapter 5

Everyone stiffened.

You could cut the tension in the air with a knife.

Edward emitted a low growl before turning to gaze at me with an unfathomable expression in his topaz orbs.

Suddenly, I could see why Alice found the ficus so captivating. In that moment, it was the most fascinating plant species I had ever encountered.

Thank God for Emmet, "Well, not everybody get up at once," he said, lightening the mood a little.

Carlisle cleared his throat, "I'll get it," he said, walking towards the door.

The vampires standing in the kitchen began to relocate to the living room. Edward came last. I gratefully noted that his expression had softened, but mine was still hesitant.

He knelt down in front of my chair, taking my face in his hands.

"I'm so sorry love," he said, pushing the hair back from my face, "it's just..."

He looked down and sighed, "Well, I guess it can't be helped now," he stated before standing and offering me his hand.

"You're forgiven," I assured, then paused before adding, "under one condition."

He squeezed my hand, "Anything," said Edward earnestly.

I poked him in the shoulder, completely useless, but it made me feel better, "You tell me what's _really_ going on."

His eyes closed and he breathed deeply.

"You said anything," I reminded.

A ghost of a smile touched his face. "Yes I did. I suppose I should learn to think before I speak."

Oh, I don't know," I replied, "I think you're perfect just the way you are."

He snickered and led me towards my nemesis. I mean lovely guests.

The living room resembled an episode of "Family Feud": Cullens vs. Denalis. They were just staring at one another.

I finally brought myself to actually look at the new guests, and when I did, my mouth fell open.

Having so many beautiful people in one room should be a crime. I felt like the ugly duckling, surrounded by swans.

My mind recognized Tanya immediately. Strawberry blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders in waves. Her face was perfect in every way. Every angle, every smooth plane, every curve: the essence of perfection.

Super model legs held this creature upright. She was wearing a crimson dress that was quite a bit more flattering than I deemed appropriate.

My plain brown eyes took her in with horror. I was doomed.

"Edward," she called in a honey voice when she caught sight of us, "How _lovely_ of you to join us."

I couldn't believe it. The woman was actually purring.

I moved my fingers around till I could touch my engagement ring, savoring the cold feel of the metal – while it lasted.

"Tanya," came Edward's brief acknowledgment.

"Why don't we adjourn to the sitting area?" Carlisle suggested.

So they did, the Denalis on the couch to the left of the coffee table and the Cullens to the right. Edward sat in a chair closer to his family's side and pulled me into his lap.

Strangely, I felt calm all of a sudden. I smiled at Jasper.

"How was your trip?" Esme asked.

A large male vampire with chocolate, shoulder length locks answered in a Spanish accent, "Longer than it should have been," before shooting a strange glance at the man sitting to the left of Tanya.

He had platinum hair and piercing, hawk-like features.

"Eleazar," he said, "do you _want_ to find Irina?"

"Irina's missing?" Rosalie asked. Was that genuine concern?

"Not a trace left," answered the raven haired beauty seated beside Hawkman. Judging by the hateful glare Alice perpetually fixed upon her, I figured this was Kate.

"That doesn't mean that we had to include the Volturri," Eleazor grumbled, rolling the "R's" in Volturri.

Great. Just great. Tanya and the Volturri in one evening.

Tanya hushed Eleazor though. "We're being rude. We haven't all been," she glanced at me with a forced smile, "introduced."

"She's just a human," Kate said.

Carlisle forced a smile as well. "I thought we were all here because we had a certain respect for humans."

Kate started to retort something but Tanya interrupted, "I think she was just surprised by your – friendship..."

"Engagement," Edward corrected fiercely.

"OH," Tanya said, letting the sugarcoated tone drop, "how...sweet." Her eyelashes batted.

"Bella," Carlisle turned to me, "this is Kate,..." he looked at Hawkman. Apparently he was new.

Before he could answer, Edward did. "Josius."

"Ah," Carlisle continued, "Kate, Josius, Tanya, Eleazar, and Carmen," he introduced the characters on the couch from left to right.

I hadn't even noticed Carmen. She hadn't said a word through this entire fiasco. She had the same hair color and skin tone as Eleazar. I also noticed that the two were holding hands.

"This is Bella," Carlisle continued, gesturing to me. "Edward, shouldn't you..."

"Yes," Edward replied, "I have to take Bella home now."

"Oh, is it her bed time?" Kate smirked, mocking me.

Where was a good rocket launcher when you needed one?

Edward and Alice snarled simultaneously.

"It was only a joke." She didn't sound convincing in the least.

Tanya giggled, "Oh, don't mind her," she said, "It was so very nice to meet you."

I plastered a big, fat smile on my face and forced my voice to say something nice, "You, too," before walking to the door, Edward on my heels.

Outside, I didn't wait for Edward to help me into his car. I got into the Volvo and slammed the door.

Edward got into the driver's seat and started the engine, with irritating cucumber coolness.

I, on the other hand, was fuming.

It was twilight now, and the dim scenery flew by around us, enclosing us into a green and gray bubble. Edward's speed had reached 110 before he broke the silence. "For God's sake Bella, _please_ tell me what you're thinking." He sounded desperate.

I looked over. "Just wondering something..."

"Yes, I can see that. Hence, why I'm going crazy," he said anxiously.

I remained silent.

He glanced back and forth between the road and me before brushing his hand along the side of his face. "Mercy?" he asked quietly.

I smiled. How could I resist? "I was just wondering if you would break me out of prison if I ever committed murder."

Different emotions flitted across his face. First, horror. Then, concern. And finally, amusement. "Depends on who you killed," he finally replied with a smile. "Weapon of choice?"

I grinned. "Rocket launcher."

He was laughing as we pulled into my driveway. Charlie's car was gone. He must be out on patrol. "I thought you might feel that way."

Edward helped me out of the car this time.

As soon as I was inside the house, I hurled myself at the couch. It sank in some as Edward seated himself next to me.

I turned on my back to face him, and he leaned down to kiss the tip of my nose.

"She's like Rosalie the sequel," I cried.

His brows furrowed. "Who?"

"Tanya of course."

Lopsided and adorable, his smile returned, "Bella, I don't know how to tell you..."

"You don't have to," I cut him off, turning my face into the cushions.

A gentle pressure grabbed my chin and turned my face to look back up at him. "Let me finish," he said, "I don't know how to tell you that there is no comparison. I love _you_."

His butterscotch eyes hypnotized me into believing him.

I smiled and blushed furiously.

"Let's go," he said, picking me up.

"Where to?"

Edward looked down and grinned. "To bed," he simply said.

God help us all.

My heart was beating so fast, I thought it would burst right out of my chest. August 13, the date of my wedding to this god-like creature, was only three weeks away, but right now it felt like an eternity.

His laughter snapped me out of my trance, and I glared. "That was mean," I said when we reached my room.

"_That _is what I feel like every moment I'm with you," he countered, setting me down.

I stuck out my tongue at him before going to the bathroom to change into my pj's.

Coming out, I saw him sprawled out on my bed with his eyes closed. I took this opportunity to throw myself at him.

He caught me before I collided though.

I frowned, "One day..." I promised, "One day."

We were laying down facing each other now.

Propping myself up on my elbow, I demanded, "Spill."

"Hmmm?" he asked innocently.

"Our deal?"

He flinched a bit, "Can't we make an exception just this once?"

I stared incredulously, "There are no _exceptions_ to deals. Now talk."

He sighed. "Where do you want me to begin?" he asked.

Victory was mine. "Well..." I started, "who is Irina, for one thing?"

Edward began, "Irina, Tanya, and Katrina were the original Denali coven. They've lived for centuries. Seen the world change countless times."

I nodded, "Have they always been – you know – vegetarians?"

He looked uncomfortable. "No..."

So that was the question of the night. I narrowed my eyes to slits. "What aren't you telling me?" I asked.

He looked away.

"Please," I added.

His gaze met mine before turning away again. "They were succubuses," he said at last, "temptresses..." he sighed again, "they used men and then..."

"What?" My voice was small.

"Then they disposed of them," he finished.

"That's terrible," I concluded.

While I did feel sorry for all those poor men who were lured to their deaths, I was more interested in, as the saying goes, knowing thine enemy. So, my competition was not only breathtakingly beautiful, but a master of seduction as well. Lovely.

"Yes," Edward said, "it was."

"Why did they quit?"

"Guilt caught up with them," he answered. "That's one good thing about Tanya. She's the one who keeps the other two in line."

Yes, let's just compliment the mass murdering mistress of darkness. I tried to control my jealousy though, and remember that I was the one Edward loved.

"Oh," I managed to say – "So, pretty much – she has been seducing guys since the beginning of time. Is that right?" I asked.

Edward chuckled, "Yes, I suppose."

"You're not making me feel any better, you know," I stated, my jealousy getting the better of me.

He stroked my cheek, "You have nothing to worry about – Nothing."

My lips turned up. "So, what about Carmen and Eleazar?" I questioned. It was high time to change the subject.

"Well, Eleazar was actually a calicadore in the Spanish Inquisition."

My countenance was puzzled, "A what?"

"A calicadore," he said, "He was a military man, the one who punished the Protestants. When we lived with them, he and Jasper were good friends. They talked about battle plans and battle scars and battle this and battle that for ages."

I nodded.

"Anyway," Edward continued, "he attacked the wrong people one day in 1543. They decided that the perfect punishment for someone as religious as him would be changing him. He still thinks about that a lot."

I pondered a moment. "Wow...he's ancient."

Edward smiled, and kept on trucking, "Carmen – well Carmen was Spanish royalty. Still thinks she is actually. Carmen was the one to make Eleazar turn vegetarian when they fell in love with each other. Her palace was attacked one night during the Messina Revolt, and she was on the point of death when Eleazar found and changed her." He looked at me and asked, "Sounds terribly romantic doesn't it?"

"Or romantically terrible," I offered.

"True," he laughed, "Are you satisfied yet?"

"Never!" I shouted. Edward grinned. "What about that Josius guy?"

His grin fell. A strange, curious expression fell over his features.

"What?" I asked.

"I don't know much about him – he's new." It sounded as if he was being defensive.

I was confused. "Well, couldn't you read his thoughts?"

Edward averted his gaze and stayed silent.

"You couldn't could you," I said. It was really more of a statement than a question.

"No," he said. "I'll have to talk to Carlisle about that... It's like having two of you." He made an expression of mock horror, "a truly terrifying concept."

"Ha. Ha," was all I said – while secretly giggling inside.

"What about now?" Edward teased.

"No actually," I started, "There was one more thing I wanted to ask you."

"Just one more?" He looked at me skeptically.

I crossed my hand over my chest. "Scout's honor."

"All right then," he said, "Ask away."

"Why doesn't Alice like Kate?"

He huffed, "Anything but that," he groaned.

"That was an awful answer...but I'll give you a redo," I taunted.

"Kate had a...a _thing_ for Jasper," he started, "and he wasn't quite so adamant in his refusal of her as I was with Tanya."

Wow. Jasper was getting a good punch when I changed. "Did Alice kick his butt?" I asked.

"No actually – Emmet and I had a _chat_ with him." He was smirking.

I was skeptical. "A chat?"

"If by chat, you mean fist fight," he corrected.

"Oh," I said. "Edward?"

"Yes?" he answered.

"You _were_ really adamant in your refusal of Tanya right? I mean," I stumbled for words, "I'll still be your..."

He pulled me to him, pressing me to his chest before whispering into my ear, "You, Isabella Swan, will be by first and only."

I let out a breath of relief and smiled. Content again.

"Now," said Edward, "Sleepy time for the human."

"Nope," I said, even though my eyelids were heavy.

He pulled the covers over me and began humming my lullaby. I smiled as I drifted off in his arms.


	7. Chapter Six ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight. No…for I own something much better…THE WORLD…mwuhahahaha…..bow before your queen.

_**I was just in a FLUFF mood today, with some humor and drama mixed…but be warned, it could be the calm before the storm. I miss my reviewers **__****___

_**Albnal33: SI! That is the limit of my Espanol…except for espanol of course. **_

_**Mattybabe: I know…In my mind, Jasper got get GOOD! And, it's going to take something amazingly talented to stand between Edward and bella. What? What was that I didn't mean to say?**_

_**KobrahEdo: Vwalah!**_

_**Kersicca: GET OUT OF MY MIND…hits head against the wall repeatedly…while you're there, I guess you know that my spelling is abysmal! And Nancy Drew is in this chapter, but I special ordered the camels and monopoly from Australia…you know how those fed ex people are.**_

_**Ellen Dean: Thanks…hope you still do after reading this chapter. Just remember to read the very last author's note.**_

Chapter 6

It had been two days since the "Tanya Incident" as I'd come to call it, and, thank God, Edward had been by my side almost every second of it. No Tanya/Edward alone time.

It was Saturday morning, and this was the…who knew what number….time I'd woken up in his arms. I hoped we would hit infinity eventually. Through my eyelids, I saw light. Oh no…it was bright outside.

"Crap!" My first fun-filled word of the day.

Through sleepy, blurred vision, I saw Edward smile. "Good morning to you too, sunshine," he said.

"Grrrrrrr," I growled at him, sending him "the glare".

"Did you forget to tell me something…like when you changed into a werewolf?" His voice was laughing.

I thought for a moment "Well, at least you won't have to worry about the whole "me dying" thing anymore."

He kept his smile in place, but his eyes tightened. "Why are you dying again?"

"Oh …well, when Charlie strangles me for missing our father/daughter day because his future son-in-law didn't wake me up," I scolded, yet after doing so, buried my face into his chest.

"Bella, love," he murmured, "look outside."

Turning my face to the right, I looked out the window. Still dark out – the bright light was coming from my bathroom.

"Oh," I said looking up, then mumbling, "sorry," before crushing my face to his marble body again to hide my embarrassed blush.

I felt him grab a piece of my mahogany hair and twirl it around in his fingers. "It's quite alright," he said, "you're adorable when you're angry."

I looked up. "That wasn't really the effect I was going for."

He was still playing with the dark lock, twisting it to see the different effects the bathroom lighting had on its shine. A corner of his mouth turned up. "I'll try to act intimidated next time," he teased.

Laughing, I told him, "I hope you're a good actor," drowning some more in his happiness.

We lay there just like that for a while. Me snuggling into his chest, drawing invisible doodles on his shoulder. Him holding me and stroking my hair. Strangely, it wasn't awkward in the least. The silence was there, but it wasn't pressing. It was more like a warm blanket surrounding us, enveloping us. Comforting.

Jkhklhkjhlkhlkhlhlkhlkjhlkhlkhjlkjhlkhlkhjlhlkhjlkjhlkhlkhjkhjlkh

So, here I was, fishing with Charlie.

Ugh, fish. I can deal with broken bones. I can deal with vampires. I can even deal with said vampires driving at absurdly fast speeds. What I cannot handle, however, is fish. Cue dark music, thunder, and lighting.

Ever since I left La Push, Billy and Charlie hadn't spoken, making me his only candidate for fishing buddy. And really, who was I to complain? After all I'd put him through, he deserved for me to be absolutely elated with rainbow trout.

"Reel it in, Bells," he encouraged, "it's going to be a big one." A bright spot of iridescent color splashed through the lake's surface. Sure enough, it was a big fish – which only meant all the more yuckiness.

I reeled harder, cranking the lever till I thought it was going to break. The fish was closer now.

"Almost there," I said, trying to sound thrilled.

"Let the line slack," he instructed, "Now pick it back up again."

I did as I was told, taking Charlie's orders until the fish was flopping on the dock.

"Great job, Bella," Charlie exclaimed, thumping me on the back.

"Thanks," I said, "What now?"

"You pick it up like this," he told me, grabbing the fish inside of the mouth and hoisting it up, "Here, you try." He waved it out in front of me.

I was trying to keep from hurling, but grabbed the fish anyway.

Charlie smiled, "Now, throw it back."

Gladly, I threw the trout back to its watery home.

"That had to be a fifteen-pounder," Charlie praised, "I guess it's our lucky day."

"Guess so," I agreed. Luck, though, at least to me, involved somewhere without fish of any kind, "Hey dad," I said.

"Yeah," he replied, casting another line.

"I'm going to go to the beach. All this fishing is making me tired. Okay?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, distracted.

I walked back across the bobbing dock to sit on the sand. Out of nowhere, a rock came flying, to land with a thump next to me. I whipped my head around, and could vaguely see an Edward-shaped shadow in the trees.

I smiled at it, and started writing a message in the sand.

_Obsessed?_

Really, was he scared the fish were going to grow legs and attack me?

Another rock came soaring towards me. I picked it up and looked at it. _Yes_ was carved into its surface.

I erased my first message and drew a new one, a heart. Then I moved back so he could see.

Yet another stone was thrown my way. I caught this one, and then looked down to see what it said. _Come here._

Before I even got finished reading it, I heard a sound at my feet. I looked down and picked up the new rock. _Please_, it said.

Polite as always. Even through rock conversations.

"Dad," I called.

"Yeah," he yelled back, never taking his eyes off the lake.

"Can I go explore the woods for a bit? – I'll stay close, I promise."

He cast again. "Yeah…stay within sight," he instructed.

"Will do," I called back, already halfway to the tree line.

Stepping into the forest, I could feel his presence.

I was attuned to it now. He told me that he could pick my heartbeat out in a crowd. Well, I could feel his very being, like there was something different, something better, about spaces once he filled them.

"Edward," I whispered.

No answer. I smiled.

"Edward, where are you?"

Twigs cracked underneath my feet as I stepped on them.

Hearing a rustling to my right, I followed it, past a shrub, and then stopped. Someone was behind me.

I pivoted around, but he was quicker. Empty air met my eyes.

Suddenly, a cold arm wrapped itself around my waist and pulled my body against what felt like a brick wall.

"That was a fun game," I said.

Edward's smooth laughter greeted me.

"Didn't Renee ever teach you to not follow strangers?" he taunted.

I shrugged and said, "I live on the edge."

"Mhmm," he murmured, trailing warm butterfly kisses down the side of my neck.

He turned me around. Finally, I could look into his eyes. They were bright and mischievous. He was becoming less serious as we approached the wedding date – I liked it.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I leaned up and kissed him. This kiss was less careful, more passionate. Less holding back. His hand reached back around to hold the back of my neck. I tangled my fingers through his bronze hair.

Edward was pushing me slightly, but I took the hint.

Without breaking the kiss, I let him lead me backwards till my spine was against a tree.

I was lost. So lost – in his lips, and his hair, and his breath. I was clinging to him. If I wasn't sandwiched between the tree and the love of my life, my knees would have buckled and I would've fallen.

Stupid lungs. The need to breathe eventually caught up with me. He was the one to break the kiss.

I was gasping for breath. His hands were above me on the tree, resting on either side of my face. Our foreheads were touching.

Edward's topaz orbs were not nearly as controlled as they usually were. They made me feel wanted. My stomach was doing flip flops.

"Two and a half weeks," he gasped out, "Two and a half weeks and then you'll be mine."

"Wow," I said quietly. Those three letters were all I could manage at the moment.

He grinned in a maddening, possessive way. "Wow?" he questioned.

"Wow," I repeated, feeling the blood rush to my face, "I'm already yours."

His fingertips grazed my bottom lip. "But officially," he corrected.

I sighed. "Well, the sooner we're married, the sooner I get to live forever with you."

He gave me a funny look. "So eager for death, are we?"

I was about to answer, before I actually thought about what he said. "You really believe that?" I asked him.

His eyes turned away.

"You have a really bad habit of answering questions with questions, Bella," he said, turning to stare at me again.

"And _you_, Edward, have a really bad habit of avoiding them altogether," I countered.

He sighed and looked away. I waited for an answer, but it never came.

I gestured to him like he was a correctly guessed _Wheel of Fortune_ letter. "Exhibit A."

Finally, he turned back to me, and said, "Thingwithout either a heartbeat or blood flow are generally considered to be dead."

This was ridiculous. "Edward, I couldn't be having this conversation if you were dead, and I am not getting married to a corpse. I've never been into the whole necrophilia thing," I told him, trying to get him to understand via humor. "You're not dead."

He started to protest, but I cut him off.

"You're just a different sort of living – Amoeba don't even have hearts at all, and they're considered living."

He looked like he was seriously considered what I was saying…that is until I brought amoeba into it.

One eyebrow rose, "Are you comparing me to an amoeba?"

I sighed. "You're missing the point."

"You just told me that I was an amoeba," he said incredulously.

I threw my hands up, giving up. "Yes, Edward. You are an amoeba. You are studied under the microscopes of biology students everywhere. Congratulations," I finished.

He snickered.

Damn would he make a sexy amoeba.

"So how is Nancy Drew and the Case of the Missing Vampire going?" I asked.

He groaned. "Not well. Thanks to Josius, the Volturi know now, and that's bad news. If we don't find her, they'll come looking. Jasper and Emmett are out tracking as we speak," he said, "They caught a trail and followed it down to Nevada, but then it just ends. Dissapears."

He stopped, craning his neck as if to hear something.

"Charlie's calling you," he said suddenly.

I frowned, giving him a peck on the cheek before turning to leave.

Safsdhgdhadhsadfghdhasdhsdhssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Currently, I was driving towards the Cullen's house, toward the Denali's.

Alice had called earlier and asked me to spend the night. Charlie could never say no to Alice, and I would not let Edward be with Tanya without me. I was surprised that I wasn't turning green at the mere thought.

Pulling into the drive, I wondered why Edward hadn't come by the house. He always came with me – Alice said he was tied up, but still. It was odd.

I was nearly about to knock on the door when Alice opened. "BELLA!" she exclaimed, with a bit more enthusiasm than I thought necessary.

"Come in, let's go upstairs," she continued, pulling me along.

I glanced into the living room as I was being dragged to the staircase, and my heart fell to my feet.

Sitting there on the couch, were Tanya and Edward – _laughing_. Flirting. They were sitting so close, there wasn't any space between them.

That old hole, ripped so wide when he left me, started bleeding again. After today, and that kiss, I just thought…how could he do this?

So this is why Alice was being the way she was.

"Bella, let's _go!_" she said, shaking my arm.

"No, Alice," I snarled, "I think we should stay right here."

I stared at the scene on the couch until I saw red. Then, Kate stepped in front of my view. "Like you stood a chance, human," she mocked.

"Shut _up_, Kate!" Alice growled at her.

"I am just bringing her silly little fantasies back to earth," she snubbed.

Kate and Alice argued on back and forth with each other, but I didn't hear any of what they were saying. My ears were ringing with my anger.

Edward had heard and looked up at me, a surprised look in his topaz gaze…a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

I hoped he thought I was adorable now, because I was angrier than I had ever been in my entire life.

"Hi, Edward," I called. His name, normally flowing so easily from my lips, was now ripped from my throat in a guttural noise.

Edward sprang up from Tanya, with a confused expression on his face, but I didn't care.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

Resisting the urge to yell at him, to hit him, or to fall at his feet and beg him to pick me, I grabbed Alice and said, "Time to go."

I stormed up the stairs into Alice's room.

She came in tentatively, "Bella," her voice was the same as her manner.

I sat down on her posh sofa and blinked a few times…waiting to wake up, just like last time. I'd wake up and it would all be a dream.

Tears were streaking down my face. "Oh Bella," she said, coming over to sit next to me, draping her arm around my shoulder, "I don't know what's wrong with him. He hasn't been himself today."

I cried harder. I opened my mouth and tried to tell her that it wasn't him, that it was me, but all that came out was gibberish.

Alice hugged me to her.

I looked up and noticed that the doorknob was turning.

"Go away!" shouted Alice, but the doorknob kept turning.

Edward walked in.

_**A/N: Before you come after me with pitchforks and torches, remember that everything may not be what it seems………. Cliffhangers are oh so much fun.**_


	8. Chapter Seven ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer**: I own a paperclip...SHOOT... it just broke – I own a broken paperclip.

_**THANKS TO ALL MY ANGSTY FRUSTRATED REVIEWERS**_

_**Albnal33: Don't you remember the waiver you signed? No? Lily Turtle Inc. Is in no way responsible for any ulcers you may obtain for reading this story. Page 4, line 12.**_

_**Minimeyer: NOOOOO anything but the ninja monkeys. Here, take my wallet...On second thought...I like monkeys.**_

_**Nobodyparticular: Cherish the forest. Cherish it...**_

_**Deepcutfighter: Here ya go. You might regret your statements though.**_

_**Mattybabe: Tanya is on my hit list right now, too...at like #1.**_

_**Rockin roxy: Me neither. I cried when I wrote it. But maybe there's an...ulterior motive...hmmmmm...I've said too much.**_

_**Twilightfan9748: I like caps lock too...**__****_

_**Kersicca: I shall save you beloved hairdryer... Snatches it from kersicca's evil grip...hahahaha. I had a laughing spasm when you talked about Edward's volvo. TANYA WILL GET HER COMEUPANCE!!!! IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO.**_

_**Just remember, dear readers, what goes down...must come up. Close your eyes and pretend that that was in the correct order.**_

Chapter 7

His face brought my waterworks to a standstill, and pure, unadulterated rage took their place, filling me to the core.

He looked sad and confused. "Bella..." he started, holding his hands out in front of him, "let me explain."

I stood. "Explain _what?_" I screamed, "Explain how you lied, explain how you didn't come to my house because you were flirting with that...that..._HER!"_

His face looked shocked. I don't think that he had ever seen me this angry. At that, neither had I.

His face fell, and he walked towards me, reaching out a hand to touch my face.

I turned away, "Don't touch me," I commanded.

He flinched, a mortified expression screwing up his features.

I knew that I hadn't really seen anything, that they were just laughing and talking together, that I shouldn't be like this, but...Jeeze, it had to be HER! Jealousy was overwhelming me.

"_You have absolutely nothing to worry about_," I mimicked the pack of lies he told me this morning, "You call that nothing...She was practically on top of you."

He was crestfallen, "Bella, I swear..."

"Save it," I snapped viciously.

"Let me just explain!" he cried.

I looked at him with calculating eyes, "Five minutes." My tone was terse, the intensity in my eyes beat that in his to Timbuktu and back.

"Bella," he started frantically, "I honestly..." he looked around at Alice's walls, fumbling for words, "I just don't know what came over me. I...I...SHE kissed ME_!" _he finished – like that made it all better.

It didn't, not in any way, shape, or form.

I heard Alice clear her throat and Edward turned to look at her. "She didn't see that?"

Alice shook her head.

Edward turned pale...er. "No, wait, before you..." he started.

I walked up to him with my hand raised, ready to slap him.

I had snapped. No snapped was wrong. I'd left snapped twenty miles back in the dust, the moment 'kiss' was mentioned.

Jaw muscles clenched, I retracted my hand. I couldn't ever bring myself to do anything like that, even if it wouldn't actually hurt him.

"Bella, please..." he begged.

"Keep digging that hole deeper, Ed," I said sadistically, "You're halfway to China by now – Bring me back some lo mien."

"But, it...it...I told her to stop after it happened, and then, I don't know how I could've," his gaze was penetrating, trying to make me understand his pitiful excuses, "I'm so sorry. From the depths of my being, Bella, I...it was like it wasn't me at all, and then when I saw you..." his frantic voice trailed off. He fell to his knees, "Bella, PLEASE listen!"

His begging was undoing me, and for a moment, I almost forgave him entirely. But then I saw them laughing and kissing in my mind's eye, and I was back to angry desperation.

"Don't," I told him, holding up a hand to stop his meaningless torrent of words. "You obviously weren't that sorry about kissing her, or you wouldn't have been laughing when I walked in," I bit my lip and tried to stop the waterworks, "Just go."

The look Edward was fixing my way would stay with me for eternity...not that I had that anymore. It was hopelessness and hurt – and I was the one who put it there.

All the same, he turned and slowly exited the room.

My knees buckled and I fell to the floor the moment the door closed. The sorrow that was building up in me was too much for my human frame to handle. The excess came out through thick tears that rushed down my cheeks and onto the carpet.

I felt like I was dying, only instead of my life flashing before my eyes, memories of me and Edward were. Us in our meadow. Him playing his lullaby on the piano. The sweet things he said to me that made my heart melt.

I sobbed aloud, trying to block out the thoughts with some sort of noise. It was then that I noticed that I was sobbing against something – Alice's shoulder.

"Shhhh, Bella, it'll be all right," she said, ever the optimist.

I cried harder. Of course it wouldn't be all right. There wouldn't be a wedding. There wouldn't be any more loving kisses or whispers. No more flying when he ran. It was done, finished, and with it, so was my life.

"He...kissed...her?" I managed to ask through my gasps.

Alice was quiet.

Translation: Yes.

Sobs were ripping from my throat.

"Bella, there's something strange going on," she said, "Something's not quite right."

So I noticed. I looked up at her through my tears.

"I've known Edward for forever and he would never do something like that – least of all to you," she said, and for a moment, I dared to hope that everything could be normal again.

The door creaked. I didn't even want to know who was there.

"Get out," Alice yelled, "NOW!"

She sounded like a vampire then, and the door shut quickly.

"Bella," she asked tentatively, "do you want to go home?"

Home? I didn't have one anymore. Tanya had ripped it out from under my feet.

I shook my head into her shoulder.

"Umm...okay," she said, "I guess you can sleep in my room."

Clearly, Alice wasn't too sure how to handle a heartbroken human who was crying tears all over her, at a guess, $400 designer shirt. The circles she was rubbing in my back helped some, though.

My gasping eventually stopped, and then all that remained were silent tears.

After ten minutes had passed, Alice finally spoke again, "Bella...they're having a sort of...meeting downstairs about Irina," she sounded uncomfortable, "do you want to...er...come?"

My head shot up, and I wiped the remaining moisture off my face with the back of my sleeve. A new determined look came into my eyes. "Yes," I said fiercely. I was going to do something. I didn't know what yet, but I was going to do it.

I stood and walked out.

BNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEB

Coming down the stairs, I saw the vampires congregated around the coffee table. The first thing that came to my attention was the lack of a certain one – Edward.

Tanya smiled at me like I was her best friend. Kate glared. The rest of the Cullens, even Rosalie, and Eleazar were looking at me with sad, pitying expressions. Carmen looked bored, but the strangest look of all came from Josius.

He was staring at me intensely. His eyes were – urging. I looked away, and his expression turned to disappointment. I didn't miss it.

Maybe Alice was right. Maybe there was something off.

Alice and I sat on a large futon.

I looked at Jasper, and he cringed. My emotions must have been attacking him. Sending him an apologetic smile, I mouthed "Sorry".

He shook his head and closed his eyes. Calm contentment helped dull the pain a bit.

Then, I had an idea. I glanced at Tanya and smiled evilly. He returned it and looked at her.

Suddenly, Tanya began fidgeting, a confused look on her face.

Alice looked at Carlisle, "Shouldn't we wait for Edward - you know," she looked at the Denalis, "in case this gets...out of hand."

I wondered what she'd seen. Carlisle only nodded.

Rosalie rolled her eyes, clearly bored.

We sat like that in silence for a while, till Emmett broke it, "Alice, where is he?"

"On his way back," she told them.

Back? "Back from where?" I asked.

She looked at me sheepishly, "Oregon."

I'd made him run all the way to Oregon and back. At least Tanya wasn't there.

Just then, Tanya jumped up, "Maybe I should go look for him," she suggested, using her persuasive purring tone.

"NO!" I practically shouted. "I mean no," I corrected.

"Bella's right," Jasper said, "Edward needs to be alone." He shot Tanya a glare that would melt glaciers.

Jasper turned his gaze once again upon Tanya, and she started fidgeting in her chair. She looked like a little kid who had to go use the potty...Maybe that was the emotion Jasper was torturing her with. I smiled.

Emmett crossed his arms and leaned back into the sofa cushions. "Let's do something."

"Baseball?" Rosalie suggested.

Emmett glowered. "Not stormy enough."

Jasper gave me a weird grin. "I think Bella should pick," he said.

My eyes widened. I looked like a deer in the headlights. What game could I possibly win against a bunch of super-strong vampires?

Suddenly, I was hit with an idea. The tiny Cruella Devil inside my head laughed maniacally. I was going to make a spotted fur coat out of Tanya.

"Monopoly," I said.

"I call red," Alice cried.

BNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNEBNE

It was three in the morning. My arm was sore from moving my blue piece around the gameboard.

Tension mounted as I rolled the dice. If I could only get a five.

The little white cube rolled around in slow motion. Two. Four. Six...FIVE!

Triumphantly, with a madenned look in my eyes, I claimed park place. I was laughing. No, wrong, I was in hysterics.

Alice put her hand around my shoulders. "Relax."

I'd calm down for Alice, but confetti was falling inside my head. I won! I beat Tanya! I had completey, absolutely, positively, 100 lost it...but that was okay. The look on Tanya's face was priceless.

Jasper looked at Alice, "Alice where _is_ Edward?"

Alice shrugged, "I guess we'll have to start without him."

I shot her a nervous look, but she brushed it off. As much as I was trying to push him out of my mind, I was worried.

Carlisle began, "Now, Emmett, how is the search coming along?"

Emmett shot Jasper a nervous glance. "We think we followed a wrong trail. We think some bastard's setting us up, leading us on."

Kate snorted. "Are you saying someone _kidnapped_ Irina?"

"I have to say," Eleazar said, "Knowing what she knows...what we all knew, well, that would make her a dangerous target. I'm guessing we wouldn't be here if they'd known that she'd told us."

I furrowed my brow, then noticed that I wasn't alone. The Cullens were confused, too.

Tanya was back to trembling again. Man, Jasper was my favorite.

Josius sighed, "We hate to put you at so much risk, but it has become necessary. There are things stronger than vampires in the world," she started. His ominous tone was ruined by his silky voice. "They...they usually keep to themselves, that is, until they are bothered."

Carlisle's expression was slightly bewildered, a new look for him. "Stronger?" he asked.

Stronger than a vampire? Carlisle worried? I wanted Edward back now.

Josius continued, "Yes...they're a group of beings known as the Malinaught. They're immortal, like us, but far older, and far more dangerous. They're the inspiration behind demons. The Malinaught love to possess people. In short, Irina bothered them. She knew where they were hiding and she was too brazen."

Vampires, werewolves, demons...Unicorns had to be around here somewhere.

Kate huffed, "You'd think after hundreds of years she would learn."

"We came..." Josius continued hestitantly, his voice walking on eggshells, "We came to bolster our numbers so to speak...once we were sure she hadn't left of her own volition."

These thoughts rattled around in my brain for a bit, before finally sinking in. When they finally did, I wished they hadn't.

There was going to be another war.

Esme spoke first. "You came to put my family in danger?" she demanded incredulously. There was a new note in her voice – anger.

"After you wouldn't give us the time of day when we asked you to help us fight Victoria?" Emmett yelled.

Tanya was still fidgeting. Kate leaned over and whispered something to her.

I looked at Alice then, and noticed that she was staring out into space again.

"What is it?" Jasper asked her.

"Edward's back," she said happily, "He's found her...or well, she found him."

I heard a crash, and heard the door being ripped off it's hinges.

Edward strolled and glared at Josius, eyes black. A redheaded goddess skipped up beside him. So, this was Irina.

Josius glared back.

All of a sudden, Edward's eyes were golden again.

Of course! Edward couldn't read his mind. He was dissapointed with me. Maybe, just maybe, Edward was _forced_ into cheating on me.

"Josius' power is mind control!" I cried.

Everyone gave me a strange look, then turned it on Josius. "Is this true?" Carlisle asked.

Josius was the picture of innocence. "Of course not," he said, looking at them all intently.

"See, Bella, nothing to worry about," Alice chirped.

I gaped at her, then turned to glare at him. Of course they wouldn't believe me...they wouldn't believe me because HE didn't want them to. And I was the only one immune, just like with Alice's gift and Jane's.

He smiled at me menacingly. This was not good.

I was in deep water. My fiancee was kissing another woman. A war was coming up, and the only people on my side were being brainwashed.

"How did the door get broken?" Esme asked.

Only one word could describe the situation: Damnit.

TBC...tehehehehehe

A/N: How I wish I could give you more...NOT. Suffer. SUFFER...lol. jk. That's really all I have time for tonight. I honestly didn't mean for it to be this serious. More tomorrow, I promise. This is killing me, too. I cried writing this chapter. I'm really surprised my keyboard isn't fried. So I will leave you with the worst situation it was humanly possible for me to create...but hey, it wouldn't be much of a plot without a problem. How will they get out of this one? If they get out...


	9. Chapter Seven and OneHalf ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer:** NOOOOOOOO for the fifty fereoihodsihgoihILLIONTH time. Moving on...

_**THIS IS JUST A FILLER CHAPTER. REALLY BUSY RIGHT NOW. BIGGER UPDATE COMING TO A COMPUTER SCREEN NEAR YOU...SOON. i swear on my great great great great great grandmother's aunt's twice removed eleventh cousin's grave ANDDDDD "the precious...(Gollum. Gollum.)" Reviewer shout out in next chapter. **_

Chapter 7 and a Half

Edward had drove me home then, not even bothering to let me here Irina tell about her escape, and he wouldn't say a word in the car.

His hands were gripping the steering wheel, and he was staring at the road. This was the fastest he'd ever gone, I noticed, looking at the speedometer. It was well within the little red safety area.

At one point, he closed his eyes...going a bagillion miles-per-hour...in an easily flipped several ton vehicle...with a very squishable human in the passenger's seat. I put a hand on his shoulder to snap him out of it, which he did, albeit reluctantly.

I opened my mouth lots of times, trying to say something, but nothing came out. I really needed to learn how to speak. It's a useful skill, or so I've been told.

Where would I start? He wouldn't believe anything I said, would he? I'd give it a shot.

"Edward..." I said tentatively.

His only reply was a nod.

"I'm sorry about...about yelling at you earlier," I said, "I didn't understand."

He turned to me. "Understand?" he asked.

"Understand that – um – I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but just hear me out... Your mind is being manipulated," I told him.

He laughed one cold, hard laugh. "Don't be absurd."

Exasperated, I cried, "Well, what's your explanation!?"

He sadly shook his head, "Bella, Bella, Bella, I loved you I guess...for a while..." his face looked confused then, "No, I still love you!" he cried frantically, slamming on the brakes. Tires squelching, we came to a dead stop on the two-lane highway.

Turning in his seat, he put both hands on my shoulders and pulled me to him. There was a strange glint in his eyes – helplessness.

More than anything else: the Volturi, Victoria; that look frightened me the most.

He gave me a slight shake, but it still made my teeth rattle. "Bella, you can't listen to anything I say, alright. I'm trying to fight it, but..."

His head whipped back, and he shook violently. The force of it was vibrating the entire car.

My heart was breaking. I'd never thought I'd have to watch him suffer like this. Is this what he feels like when I get hurt? Agonized tears gushed down my face.

In that moment, I vowed to kill Josius, if it was the last thing I did.

He looked back at me, with an intent gaze. "Bella, PROMISE ME!" he shouted, "PROMISE ME YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME! YOU ARE MY WORLD – MY LIFE! I LOVE YOU BELLA! SO MUCH. Josius, he...and Tanya. Using her to get to you..." his eyes squinted together, trying to stop the mental onslaught, "CALL JACOB!" he roared. Then, his onyx eyes closed and his head slumped forward. The steering wheel took his weight.

"I promise," I tried to whisper, but the breath caught in my throat and my voice cracked. The tears kept rushing in a torrent.

At last, he lifted himself off the driving mechanism.

He glanced over at my frazzled state and gave me a small pitying smile, the kind one gives to stray cats. "Don't cry over me," he said, before starting the car and driving to my house.

I didn't speak. Couldn't speak. It hurt to talk. My thinking, unfortunately, was not halted in the least.


	10. Chapter Eight ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer: **Oh, my...ya know what word gets old after a while. The word "disclaimer". It's like pickle. The more you say it, the stranger it sounds. For a real disclaimer (yuck), see all ones from previous chapters that weren't nonsensical.

_**WOWWWWW. Thanks for all the reviews. Lily T is one happy camper, and as such will leave you song comments.**_

Albnal33: " Theeeee sunn'll come out...tomorow. Betcha bottom dollar that tomorow... (inserts rest of Annie song here).

_**Nobodyparticular: Yes, poor Edward, and thanks for your reviewship dedication. By the way, I live like 45 minutes away from your town. Yes I am a proud Tennessean. Go Vols!...It's a small world after all (insert Alice in Wonderland song here)**_

_**Euphoria falls: I love YOU! (Whitney Huoston's 'i will always love you' of course) Thank you for making my review screen so wide that I have to use the scroll bar on the bottom. **_

_**Eatyoutoo: You'll like this chap. I feel like. ("You are my sunshine")**_

_**Melody Cullen: Yes, I did too. Poor Eddie poo. Let's give him a fruit basket...with a mountain lion inside. ("Tearin up my heart" – insync)**_

_**Mattybabe: You tell em' matty! You tell those fictional characters! LOL. Jk. Edward Cullen is REAL I tell you, REAL!!!!! And thanks. ("DUNNO")**_

_**INVX: Everytime I look at a puddle, for forever, I shall think of you. Puddles were happy places for duckies, and then I saw your comments...lol. jk. Your comments make my day. Death by puddle makes me laugh every time. THANK YOU...you get a fruit basket – minus the mountain lion. ("Old Mcdonald had a farm..ey i ee i o...and on that farm he had a duck...ee i ee i o...with a quack quack here...and a quack quack there...here a quack, there a quack. Every where a quack, BLUPP. 'I don't think Duckie is coming back up' – Old Mcdonald)**_

Chapter 8

It was dawn. I could tell not by the sunrise (it _was_ Forks), but the time on my digital clock.

My feet were wearing holes in the floor with their pacing. I knew which boards creaked and which didn't, which ones to walk on so that Charlie wouldn't wake up. I hadn't slept a wink all night. How could I? This was the first night in ages that Edward hadn't been with me.

Using my incredible skills of oblivion, I tried to block from my mind thoughts of Edward's dismissal and agony (not to mention violent, grotesque, horrific machete- related visions of Josius' death that would put M. Night Shalyman to shame). Instead, I tried to focus on Edward's confessions of undying love, and of course my Monopoly massacre of Tanya. Thank you, Milton Bradley.

Bending my attention towards the good, not the bad, combined with my oddly calming lack of sleep, was forcing my brain into a logical, reasonable pattern.

Some of Edward's last words to me – _Bad choice of words,_ my mind chastised.

Some of Edward's miscellaneous-and-assorted-but-definitely-anything-but-last words to me had been to call Jacob.

There were only two explanations for his saying that:

Option one: I was in mortal peril. As in, grab a pen and write your last will and testament NOW peril.

Option Two: He had lost his Carlisle-given, undead mind.

I decided that in this case, both were correct.

On to the next order of business: calling Jacob.

If my life were in that much danger, wouldn't Jacob's be, too?

Could I really ask him to fight evil, mind-controlling vampires after all I'd done to him?

The answer was no. I couldn't, no matter how much Edward begged.

I would not involve Jacob again.

Sighing and exhausted, I flopped down on my bed.

It felt a lot better than I thought it would. It was just so soft and fluffy – Why was everything dark? I don't remember closing my eyes...Maybe I'm blind. Then I could get a Seeing Eye dog. Maybe it'd be green. Green dogs are cool. Like guacamole. Guacamole dog...Edward...

* * *

Awaking to a loud crash, I bolted upright. It sounded like something had been broken, like multiple things had been broken.

Someone was in the house. Someone who didn't bother knocking or being sued for property damage. My mind flew to one name – Josius.

By now, I should be used to this "imminent death" feeling, but, like Edward, it never got old.

Speaking of Edward, maybe I should have called Jacob.

Angry footsteps were flying up the stairs- oops.

He was in the hallway.

I stood from the mattress to face my doom.

A blur, and then a massive object barreled into me and then proceeded to hold me to it.

Well, this sure was a new twist.

The unidentifed object was warm – too warm for a vampire – too warm for a human, and it smelled like salt and forest. It smelled like Jacob.

Lungs imploding – ribs cracking, "Can't breathe," I gasped.

The death grip loosened, but strong hands grabbed my arms, "Jeeze Bells, I thought you were dead or something," the werewolf told me.

"Me, too," I muttered, not making eye contact.

"Who'd you think I was?" he asked suspiciously.

"Nobody," I lied, my eyes wandering around the room...Oh look – a wall.

"Don't even try that one," he said, "You were scared out of your mind when I got in here. I could smell it."

Darn him and his super wolf senses.

I finally brought myself to look at his face. Same old Jacob: dark features, defined chin, chiseled beyond belief. "So, how'd you know I was in trouble?"

Jacob smiled, glad to see that I had finally looked at him, "Oh – besides the fact that you always are," he teased.

Yep, same old Jacob – my eyes shot daggers.

"Cullen called," he finally confessed. I could hear the suppressed snarl. "All he said was "Save Bella". What was I supposed to think?"

I bit back the tears. Jacob continued, "He sounded really weird though. Bella..." he said, finally looking down at me, "What's wrong?"

One traitorous droplet escaped from the corner of my eye. How my tear ducts still had water to spare was completely beyond me.

Jacob looked pained. I was hurting him – again.

I told him everything. "The Cullen's minds are being controlled by one of the Denali vampires named Josius. And Edward thinks that he's trying to get to me for some reason, but I'm the only one immune to his power, so no one believes me. And then I guess he called you, and he sounds weird because of Josius, and, and...he's just so _helpless_, Jacob!" I cried.

Ugh. Word vomit.

Jacob's arms encircled me, "It'll be all right, Bells."

At last, someone who would believe me.

I didn't stay in his embrace for long, though. It felt too much like betrayal. Him standing in my room felt like betrayal, so I led him to the sofa downstairs.

Jacob turned his dark eyes on me, "Bella, why the hell didn't you call me?" he scolded.

Was he serious? "I didn't want you to get hurt, obviously."

"Bella, I can take care of myself, especially with the pack to back me. _You_, though, are not allowed to die."

I rolled my eyes. "Sounds like it'd save everyone a lot of trouble if I did, though," I told him, only half joking.

"Andddddd you are not allowed to talk like that, okay?" His tone was fed up.

I huffed. "Fine."

"Good," he said, clearly relieved, "Now, what to do about the crazy vampires..."

"Vampire," I corrected.

"Right, vampire," Jacob repeated, then contemplated for a moment. "Well, I could rip out his throat, tear his head off, or impale him on the Eiffel Tower," his tone was joking. "Take your pick."

An uncharacteristic sadistic grin lit up my face. "All of the above?" I suggested.

Jacob was not prepared for this answer, and his eyebrows rose. "You _really_ hate this guy, don't you?"

I nodded vigorously. "Could you...do it now?" I asked tentatively.

"Bella, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to the Cullens' place. I'll send the pack on patrol around here, but I'm not going to attack a house full of vampires. I promised to protect you. Just you." I could tell by his pitch that he wasn't going to budge on this.

In a blink, the conversation was serious again. The casual pace, the one that made me believe we could start where we left off, was broken. I should've known that he wouldn't save Edward. It hurt. Edward's actions were being dictated by an evil vampire who had some sort of deal with a strawberry blonde goddess called Tanya. They could be... I refused to think about it. In that moment, I wished Josius would come tonight. Guilt for Jacob quickly stopped those thoughts, though.

"Fine," I said, getting up off the couch and stomping back to my room.

I grabbed my phone and tried to call Edward. No answer.

I dialed Alice's number. No answer.

This waiting would be the death of me.

**A/N: that last chapter was SUPPPERRR intense... What was a light story turned into a deeper one. With drama and suspense. What can I say? I fluctuate.**


	11. Chapter Nine ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer:** zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…huh? What? You want me to spend my good time and humor to write something about this boringness…Well, I do not own anything from…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzz (snore)

_**SEVENTY REVIEWS W-O-W, WOW! Thanks guys…keep it up. Maybe get me into the triple digits (wiggles eyebrows enticingly) **_

**Kersicca: No, not the shower, too!!! I'll smell like a wet walrus. And it does save matches…way to be an environmentally friendly murderer, Bella! Woot. Woot. I found you by the way. I put you in a little cardboard box and wrote "Kersicca" in neon green on the front with a Sharpie Mini. You were on my dining room table for a while, but then strange off-key renditions of the Gilligan's Isle theme song kept coming from the box. So I shipped you off to the Czech Republic**

**SOMEBODYparticular: thnx. I LIVE IN TENNESSEE, TOO!!!! I just get excited about that sometimes. **

**Melody Cullen: Go Crazy!!! Go mad!!!! Mwuhahahaha. (strokes cat)**

**Thefuturemrs.edwardcullen: I will fight you to the death for your pen name woman! But thanks anyway. I will appreciatively and gratefully fight you to the death for your pen name. However, with your violent and slightly terrifying mood swings, and death threats, I think you might win.**

**Euphoria falls: well, you know, I try. Ooooo u used the smiley with the bracket in it. Nice. : **

**INVX: Although annoying as crap, Jacob does look quite sexy soaking wet. Well, bella, as long as your preoccupied with Eddie, (Violently snatches Jacob) We'll be back in a few…Decades. P.S. funeral services for duckie are on three o clock Tuesday. **

**Albnal33: lol. yes, it is…you left out "With super ninja skills". Bella really needs to learn kong fu.**

Chapter 9

I'd show that stupid werewolf where he could stick his stupid "saving Edward wasn't part of the deal" absurdity…right down his own throat. And after I'd suffered a coronary rupture from not having Edward around, he could stick his foot there, too.

"Bella…" Jacob started, knocking on my door.

"Eat metatarsals," I yelled back. I really needed to learn to keep my thoughts and words separated. Dumb anatomy book. We could shove that in Jake's pie hole along with all the other stuff.

Maybe he wouldn't be able to breathe.

"Bella, Charlie's home," he said.

"And your point is?"

I heard a sigh, muffled by the wood. "Just come out of there."

"Leave me alone, Jake," I told him.

"Fine, Bells, but _I'll be back!_" he said. Oh no…Jacob and Arnold Swarchenegger impersonations were like banana splits and roller coasters. They just didn't mix, but when some poor unlucky soul happened to experience such a situation, puke resulted.

Disturbed but silently giggling, I rolled my eyes and said, "Bye, Jake."

All was quiet in the land of Bella's room – or so I thought until I heard a "Are you sure you don't want to _hug_ me goodbye" from the other side of the door.

"Goodbye, Jake," I repeated louder, laughing.

* * *

"Hey," I said to Charlie as I walked down the stairs.

"Hey kiddo," he answered from the couch, "What's for dinner tonight?"

Walking into the kitchen, I rummaged through the pantry. "Hamburger helper?" I called.

"Yeah – sure," Charlie answered.

I switched on the stove and removed a frying pan from the drawer. What _would_ Charlie do without me after I'd changed?

Maybe I could get a local restaurant to deliver him food every night – put Edward's money to good use, instead of using it for ridiculous things like Italian sports cars.

There I went thinking about him like he was a certain, sure part of my future again.

I poured the milk, noodles, and seasoning in the pan, stirring the butter in. Looking down, I'd noticed that I'd spilled the milk all over the counter. I grabbed a towel and mopped up the liquid, before pouring some more back into the appropriate place. Glancing into the boiling pan, I could have sworn I saw Edward's face.

I had been seeing it everywhere today.

I stared at the frying pan for a while, till the delusion dispelled, and the food burned. I sure wasn't going to dismiss it myself.

* * *

After eating, I'd gone straight to bed, all too happy to lose myself in unconsciousness.

My pajamas were on. My teeth were brushed. Now, I could see Edward again – I could sleep.

Or so I thought.

Several loud tapping noises were coming from my window.

Groaning, I got up and opened the window with a huff, only to get hit in the head by a rock, the source of the tapping no doubt.

"Ow," I said, looking down to spot the perpetrator. "Jacob!" I hissed.

So much for sleep.

"Sorry," he whispered.

"What do you want?"

"I think you need to come back to La Push," he said quietly.

"Jake, it's ten o' clock at night."

He scratched his head, and looked uncomfortable. A sudden breeze came, and I shivered. It lifted Jacob's dark hair up and I could clearly see the worried expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"The pack – we can't hear each other anymore?"

My brows pulled together, "Synchronized deafness?"

"No. We can't hear each other's thoughts…you know…the mind reading thing," he said. He didn't sound like he believed himself, like the words were strange on his tongue.

My brows furrowed more, "Has it ever happened before?"

Jake looked up at me and shook his head. "No – I don't think we're going to be a very good bodyguard without that. It was one of our major weapons," he looked at me beseechingly, "Bella, come to La Push. It's not safe anymore."

I nodded, "Okay…I'll go ask Charlie."

Downstairs, Charlie was still on the couch.

An infomercial about pet claw clippers, the "pet-a-cure" was on the TV screen. Since it wasn't ESPN, or sports of some kind, I figured that he was asleep.

I shook him gently awake. "Charlie…"

He grunted some before sleepily opening his eyes. "Hey," he said.

"Ummm…Jake's here…" I started awkwardly. "He says I need to go to La Push…that it's an emergency."

He sat up straight, "Is it Billy?"

"No, no, not anything like that," I assured.

He looked puzzled, "What is it?"

"Er…Embry…he – uhhhh was attacked."

Charlie sat up even straighter, "By what? Not those wolves again, I hope."

I stifled a laugh, "No…it was…ummm…another person. He got in a fight was some boys."

"Those boys that Jacob hangs out with?" Charlie sounded cross.

This was undoubtedly the worst lie I had ever come up with.

"No, not them…and well, he's my friend, and I just wanted to see him. Make sure he's okay."

He looked hesitant. "I'll be back before twelve," I lied.

Jake wouldn't let me leave, no way, no how. I'd call Charlie back and say I was spending the night at Emily's again, or something.

"Bella, what about Edward?" he asked.

"What about him?" Wow, Charlie said the dreaded name.

"Well, he's your fiancée," Charlie looked distinctly uncomfortable, "Is he okay with this?"

"Dad, it's just Jacob. He's my friend, and anyways, Edward is on a hunting trip with his family." This was a much better fib.

Charlie looked away, apparently not too eager to carry the conversation further.

"Do you want me to go?" he asked.

Charlie could not be anywhere I was. I wasn't going to take him down with me. "Aw, don't worry about it. You can stay here and sleep…you look kind of tired anyways. It's just a broken leg."

And a mind-controlling vampire, and a powerless pack of werewolves, and mortal danger. But what Charlie didn't know couldn't hurt him.

"Alright Bells," he said, "Be safe."

"Bye," I called, walking out the door.

I looked around me for any sign of Jacob's bike. There was none.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him standing by the light pole. The yellow glow made him look forlorn.

He approached me slowly. Getting close, he turned around and bent his knees so that he was lower to the ground, "Ready?"

"Never," I said, but hoisted myself onto his burly back anyways.

Then we were running.

My mind was yelling at me. 'TRAITOR!' as we bounced along.

Running with Jacob wasn't like flying. It was like riding a horse, jaunty and shaky. I'd have bruises later on.

**A/N: Oh my…so I've already written most of the end. Now, I just have to get there. O the joy. Why can't Jacob and the werewolves read minds anymore???? Hmmmmmm. Stay tuned next time for the answer…or the next time…or the next time. HEHEHEHE.**


	12. Chapter Nine and OneHalf ACTUALLY

_**Second Chappie of the Day…Been working on it since I posted the first. Reviewer shout out coming next.**_

Wind was whipping through my tangled hair.

If I closed my eyes, and ignored the scalding temperature Jacob's skin was at, I could almost pretend that he was Edward.

Jake wasn't as careful as Edward was though, and several outlying branches and sticks scraped my skin. I would've been cold if it weren't for his heat, seeing as I hadn't changed out of my pajamas, a t-shirt and cotton pants, and the werewolf underneath me failed to suggest more suitable attire.

This had an absurd amount of potential to be an embarrassing situation.

I glanced up, only to be hit in the face with a low hanging leaf. I buried my face back into Jake's shoulder and imagined he was Edward some more.

"Bella," Edward's voice called to me.

I laughed into Jake's back. My hallucinations had come sooner this time. Last time, it took a few months at least. I even heard swift footsteps falling beside us.

"Bella!" the voice called again. I could hear it infinitely more clearly because the wind had ceased whooshing through my ears. Jacob had stopped running.

"What are you doing here?" he growled.

Jacob could hear it, too? I glanced over.

Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear. Or more angel in this case, I guess.

I peaked over Jake's head and saw the same face I'd seen in the frying pan a few hours ago. The noodles and sauce hadn't done him justice.

This night in Forks was unusually clear, no clouds to block the moon. Its white beams fell through the canopy in streams and dappled the forest floor in pale light.

Edward was a god. The moon had a similar effect on him that the sun did, only more subtle. Instead of sparkling like a diamond, he glowed.

Abercrombie and Fitch was missing a fantastic model in him.

I leapt from Jake's back and ran for him.

He caught me before I slammed into his granite body, and instead, gently held me to him. I felt him bury his nose in my hair, smelling me.

"Missed me?" he joked casually.

I nodded, "I saw you in a frying pan."

He chuckled, "Is that a yes?"

I smiled, "That's a heck yes."

"I missed you, too," he whispered.

My head rose to look at him. His eyes were black, smoldering under the surface. Purple shadows were underneath them. "Are you okay?" I asked.

A small, sad smile touched his lips. "Just fine."

I touched his cheek, "You know I don't believe that for a second."

Behind me, Jacob cleared his throat.

I didn't look at him. Removing my Edward-starved vision from said vampire would be insane.

"What's going on here, leech?" Jacob finally said when neither Edward nor I responded to him.

At last, Edward sighed and looked at him. "I suppose I do owe you an explanation," he said.

His eyes still retained that heart-wrenching sadness. I'd do anything to remove it.

"Follow me," he said, grabbing my hand and leading us deeper into the forest.

After a few minutes of walking silently through the cool night air, we arrived at an abandoned campground. The woods here were loaded with them.

Five rather long logs were arranged around the remains of an old campfire.

Edward and I sat opposite from Jacob. We were still holding hands.

"Jacob," the vampire addressed the werewolf, "If at any point during this conversation, I start acting strangely, you are to grab her and run. Understood?"

I felt like we were back to square one, the square in which Edward couldn't trust himself to be around me. It was the worst square of them all, beating out square dancing and Piccadilly square and all the irritating ones from Geometry class with ease.

Jacob, I could tell, was offended at being talked to like a child, but he nodded anyways.

"Good," Edward said, "Now, Josius is going to try to take Bella. You and the pack need to protect her. It's her only chance." The intensity in his tone was incredible, "He can't physically manipulate your actions, some natural werewolf defense, but he can disrupt the frequency between your thoughts. You won't be able to communicate with each other."

Jake nodded.

This didn't make any sense to me. "But what would he want me for?" I asked.

Edward looked at me, but remained silent. He kissed my forehead.

Jacob had looked away and grabbed a stick when he did this and was tracing patterns in the sand and ash.

I growled at Edward, "Why can't I know?"

"Because nothing is going to happen to you," he said fiercely.

"That's what you said last time," I told him, unintentional ice injected into my voice. He flinched. "Why can't I at least know what I'm up against?"

His hand lifted and he ruffled his hair.

"He's just mad because he can't protect you," Jake said, a smug smirk on his lips.

"Shut up, dog," Edward growled.

Jake's grin got smugger, if that was possible.

"Please, Edward," I begged.

He sighed in defeat, before looking at Jacob. "Jake, you must promise something."

"After you hear what I'm going to tell you, you must promise to reconsider our pact. Carlisle did save your life after all."

Well, that was not how I was expecting the conversation to begin.

"A pact is a pact," Jacob snorted.

"Jake, just do it," I told him, exasperated.

"Fine," he grumbled.

Then he added something unexpected and disturbing, "So that murder in the newspaper – that was _you_?"

Edward winced and his mouth tightened into a line.

**A/N: Cliffie…tehehehe…I missed Edward too much not to write about him for long. I HATE JOSIUS…SO FRICKIN MUCH…I'VE CREATED A MONSTER **


	13. Chapter Ten ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer: **In Piglatin!!!! To spice things up: Iay oday otnay ownay wilighttay. Tepheniesay Eyersmay oesday. Alladinay isay theay ooliestcay!!!!!!!!! Ustjay ecausebay!!!!!

**To All My Wonderful/ Semi Homicidal Reviewers...ur never pleased are you??? Anyways, THANKS a bunch. Keep the reviews coming, and I highly recommend therapy.**

**Nobodyparticular: Trouble does smell like roses in the springtime. Ahhhhhh... This chapter has a bouquet. And pitchforks are an excellent idea. BEAT HIM DOWN NP!!!**

**Kersicca: Sorry if I made you late...and all in good time, my friend, all in good time...about the "J" word. SAVE THE CLIFFIES...(holds up picket sign, with same neon green color used on kersicca's box spelling that out in all caps) So, how are you enjoying the Czech Republic? Obviously not too well since you can't afford alcohol. AND LOL bella-the-happy-environmentally-friendly-murderer...WHY IN THE WORLD HAS NO ONE DONE A STORY ABOUT THAT? Madness...sheer madness. Have fun with Pjotter. Age 19 and lives in Wales???**

**Euphoria falls: Well, after I came out of my bomb shelter to read the rest of your comment, after that terrifying first sentence (see underlined text), I decided that I liked you a lot. Jake is AWESOME as a opossum. Genius?...I think you mean EVIL genius. Thanks a bunch.**

**Thefuturemrs.EdwardCullen: "Ahem...Edward, is this your wife?" Edward: "No my sweet honey muffin turtlecakes, YOU are the love of my life. Let's get hitched." Lily Turtle: "Drive thru wedding?" Edward: "Don't you know it." Mwuh mwuh mwuh. LOL thanks.**

**Albnal33: (goes back to hide in bomb shelter, with a TV and a kickboxing video) Mental anguish is fun. Sick her Bella. Sick her!**

**Melody Cullen: Your comment was one of the ones to not contain a threat on my life. YAY...ONE PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO DOESNT WANT TO KILL ME!!! Melody Cullen, no relation to Edward I presume, is my hero. And about the 'grring', are you sure you're not part lion?**

**INVX: o man...the moment you started talking about the "talk", I got nervous. Oooooo...bad memories. Edward was coming back. Never fear. Why don't UUUU kill Josius? O wait, that's right, he mind controlled you off a cliff. Well shucks. I'll miss your humorous reviews...SUPER BELLA, fly down and save INVX. Bella: "er. MMMMkay" O wait, Bella don't...she missed Duckie's funeral... BADDD INVX, BAD.**

**Mattybabe: so sorry about last time. Didn't see you there. We reeaaalllyyy need an inside joke...how about "brussel sprouts"? THANKS for reviewing.**

**Twilightfan9748: OMCarlisle? Why haven't I heard of this glorious phrase before? Thanks.**

**Ten past midnight: Lucky for everyone, the Volturi took a long vacation to the Swiss Alps...skiing dont you know, till Jane fell off the ski lift and people started complaining of sudden, unusual pain. The doctor said they were fine though.**

**Edwards#1 fan: Thank u very much.**

**Ms. Veronica cullen: Wow, with you and all the other cullen reviewers, this must be like sort of a family reunion, huh? Lol thnx. It was harder than I though.**

**Abovetherim: Brilliant you say? Why, thank you.**

**Now without further ado and poppycock, I present to you...**

Chapter 10

"Murder?" I repeated slowly.

Edward gave my hand a squeeze.

"It was one of you, wasn't it?" Jake asked, "not one of those leech friends of yours."

Edward hung his head.

"Jacob, you have to understand," he began.

"Understand?" Jake asked incredulously, "I think I understand just fine. You finally got sick of your little vegetarian deal," then he turned his dark eyes on me, "Bella, you're marrying a murderer!"

"Be quite," I snapped, my eyes scalding. If looks could kill, Jake would have been diced, sliced, and thrown into the nearest available blender.

The vampire sitting next to me leaned to whisper in my ear, "He's right, you know?"

I turned my deadly gaze on him. "Well, yeah, I've known that from the get-go," I said, thwapping him on the back of his neck, "We've been through this."

Rubbing my sore hand, I checked to see his expression. His face spelled out a contradictory emotion: angry, yet surprised, happiness.

"Let me see that," he told me, eyes softening, pointing to my hurt appendage.

"It's fine," I said, but he grabbed it anyway.

After making sure it wasn't damaged, he gently placed it back in my own lap. My eyes rolled, more at my own stupidity than at his overprotectiveness. Kindergarten teachers should teach kids that, along with not touching flames or sticking paperclips in electricity sockets, hitting a marble-like vampire was not a smart idea.

"So, who was it?" asked an obviously annoyed Jake.

Edward turned to face him, and then sighed.

A long, suspenseful moment passed, and I could hear the night-sounds of the forest: owls hooting, wind rustling the trees. The moon was still bathing every uncovered nook and cranny without restraint.

At last, Edward spoke. "Carlisle," he whispered.

My mind simply could not digest this. Carlisle, the kind and caring doctor, a murderer?

Edward looked up at the sky. "It was Josius, really," he continued, smooth voice sounding strained, "He forced him to do it."

My thoughts quickly reverted back to the machete-related Josius death scenes. How I hated this vampire. "Why?" I asked quietly.

Edward shrugged, "Revenge. Carlisle and I were the only ones resisting his control for a while, and yesterday, Carlisle tried to fight him," he let out a humorless laugh, "Homicide was his punishment. The guilt he feels is unimaginable. Jasper can't be inside the house, even though he doesn't really know why."

Jacob stood up suddenly, "So how do we know you're not just here to kill us?"

Edward turned his black orbs on me, "Technically, I am. Those are my orders."

My face paled. In my peripheral vision, I could see shivers running down Jake's arms.

"But I won't," he quickly corrected, "You're to thank for that," Edward told me.

I tilted my head to the side, puzzled.

"When I'm not close to him, and I think of you," he said, brushing a stray lock out of my face, "I can fight it better. I've been keeping a picture of you with me wherever I go."

One corner of my mouth turned up.

"I'll figure this out, Bella," he promised.

"Could we run away?" I asked desperately, even though I already knew the answer.

He sadly shook his head, "He'd hurt my family even more."

I looked back up at him, "Our family."

Jake sat back down with a huff. "What does Josius want with Bella anyway?"

Edward turned his head towards Jake, but let his eyes stay glued to mine until he absolutely had to move them. "You already know that Bella's blood is special, especially to me."

Jake nodded.

"Well, it was a great deal more special than we thought. Carlisle did some research, and he thinks he's figured something out. Bella isn't affected by my gift, or Jane's. It's because of her blood."

I was still confused, even more so when he failed to continue. "Whoever thought that AB negative could mean so much?" I joked.

A well-missed smile returned to Edward's countenance. "Your blood, Bella, is something like a vaccine. Were a vampire to drink it, they would become immune to whatever you were immune to. That vampire would become stronger, faster, virtually invincible. A vampire that could swat the Volturi away like flies. That's what Josius would become, but he won't. I promise," he concluded fiercely, "I won't let that happen."

The news was disturbing, but I put my hand on Edward's cheek, more concerned with his struggles, "I know you won't."

His tortured expression remained.

So I kissed him. I didn't care that Jacob was sitting seven feet away. I didn't care that Edward had come here on a mission to end my life. I wanted him. Now.

He pulled me to him with a growl, never breaking our kiss.

Behind my eyelids, fireworks were exploding. This was an aggressive side of Edward.

His cold hands were everywhere: my back, my neck, my hair.

Mine were gripping his shirt collar with all their might.

Finally, we broke apart, panting.

"I will marry you," he said suddenly. Urgently.

I smiled at him, though we both knew that the wedding had been postponed.

I saw that Jake was back to tracing patterns in the sand. I thought I saw the outline of a fanged stick figure erupting into flames before he scribbled through it.

"Get a room," Jake grunted

Edward smirked, "Know any available?"

I snickered.

Another question entered my head. "So who exactly is Josius?" I asked.

"One of Kate's old flames," Edward replied, "They turned a select few, the ones that they really enjoyed. After he was turned, he went to Italy and tried to join the Volturi, but they saw his plan and were prepared. After he tried to control them, they banished him from the city. Should have killed him then and there," Edward growled, "He tried to start a few armies after that, but Aro was watching for him. He went back to Denali, and that's when he heard about you. He convinced Tanya to come, and he would make me fall in love with her."

"Oh," I said, "You didn't did you?"

"What?" he asked.

I looked down sheepishly, "Fall in love with her..."

He kissed the top of my head, "You have my heart," he told me.

All of a sudden, Edward leapt away from me, backing up and shaking his head.

"Jacob," he croaked, squinting his eyes together, "Now!"

Tears started rolling down my face. Angry tears...for what Josius had done.

Never taking my gaze from my agonized fiancee, I let Jacob hoist me up on his back again and run into the night.

**A/N: Well, well, well, look how the cards played out...**


	14. Chapter Eleven ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer:** Oh boy! Here we go again. Please, loyal audience, try to contain your disclaimorative enthusiasm. Here, have a teaspoon. What? Oh, that's too big a container. Well, maybe if you dump everyone's conglamoritave enthusiasm levels in there, it MIGHT be filled. I own nothing from SM's wonderful world.

_**ALMOST TO THE BIG THREESIES...And I owe it all to you, my lovely lovely reviewers. Air XOXO's to you all.**_

**Shinobi Shinigami: I had to look back at my review page about twenty million times to spell your name right. Twas one of my better twists admittedly. More coming along though. Be prepared.**

**Nobodyparticular: (joe-zee-us) as in Joe, the name PLUS the first syllable of 'zebra' PLUS what you and me together make (us)...fun name, eh?**

**Mattybabe: Here, have a tissue...they're the special kind (brussel sprouts) with Vics on them (brussel sprouts), just in case you get a cold (brussel sprouts). Lily T. Has got your back.**

**Albnal33: Whilst I am firing the personal bodyguard of Emmett Cullens I hired, I shall respond to your fun comment. Thanks...And I mean, I got a cookie out of it. MMMMMM peanut butter. My favorite...hold on a sec. Why in the world am I FIRING emmett? What's wrong with me? What'd you put in that cookie? Room spinning...(passes out).**

**Ten past midnight: Ironic that I'm writing this at 12:10, isn't it? Ah well. You said more with fourteen letters than I have with this entire sentence. And I am not mean to the fourth...your face is mean to the fourth...jk lol. Thanks for reviewing. Stop by again.**

**INVX: (looks down on invx in her hole and says the following: mwuhahahahtehehehehehahahahah. In that exact order. Then, after annoying conscience kicks in, throws her a Reece cup king sized pack) Thanks for the compliments. They meant a lot, especially coming from someone falling to her death after I pushed her off a cliff...Ah guilt...Bella, put a trampoline under INVX...Bella: er...mmmkay... and by the way, duckie is coming back as a ghost mallard to haunt you.**

**Kersicca: Wow, your comments are like new story updates. I get really excited everytime I read them. I think I'll keep BTHEFM over here for a while, let you suffer in the CR...You and Pjotter should do something...other than play dressup. Maybe you could go out and have cappucinos together. Coffee, I hear, is the ultimate cure for strange, turtle-induced, murderous rampages. DRAT! The netherlands...why didn't I think of that? While Josius does not have a volvo, he does have a lilac colored school bus you could kindly stick somewhere it won't sparkle, as in up his butt, that is if my new slicem dicem contact lenses don't decimate him first. Die Josius. Stares intently...Crap! they're a dud...KERSICCA SAVE ME!**

**Euphoria falls: Alright, but I claim his head...and his left arm...and BOTH his knees. UPDATE YOUR STORY YOU BOZO...lol**

**Thefuturemrs.edwardcullen: Thanks...I get that I'm not a horrible bastard surprisingly a lot. Thanks for adding culture to my review page. TE Amo...i think. What exactly did I just say?**

**Melody Cullen: Thanks...for both the AWESOME OPOSSUM review and for sparing my life.**

**MeyaRose: mmmkay. Pretty pen name.**

Chapter 11

Jake ran me all the way back to La Push, occasionally murmuring meaningless words of reassurance when he wasn't lost in thought.

I heard him occasionally when I myself wasn't lost in thought. Images and snippets of Edward and what he told me crowded out everything else, even the pain my nerves vaguely acknowledged as the twigs scraped across my face.

So my blood was super special. That, I made a mental note to tell my stubborn fiancee, was an optimum reason for changing me.

People, human and vampire alike, desperately crave power, which makes the means of attaining it, me in this situation, the target of many.

And about this Josius fellow. I'll bet Satan wishes he could hold a candle to that vampire. I had half a mind – correction: I had a full mind to beat his hawkish face in with a shovel. No, a cinder block. No...something bigger – ah hah, Australia. I'd beat his face in with a continent.

Poor Carlisle – and all because of me. Look at the trouble I'd caused everyone. My mind cautiously wandered to the subject of suicide...maybe I could finish myself off...sure would save everyone grief.

"_NO! Don't you dare even THINK that, Bella!" _reprimanded the miniature Edward Cullen in my head. Of course, the flesh and...well just flesh, life-sized Edward would just hop on the next jet to Italy.

Sadly, I pondered when I would get to see him again.

That last kiss and his loving words were like the cracker given to a child by its mother, expecting it to hold them over till dinner. Only the cracker is a crumb, the dinner is a 5-course gourmet banquet, and the kid is _starving_.

Sensing a change in pace, I glanced up.

Ahead the windows of Jacob's house illuminated the lawn.

Jake pulled me from his back and walked away without a word. I followed.

"Hey Bella...How are you?" Billy asked once we were inside.

I smiled, "I'm just..."

Jake cut me off tersely, "Tired."

I looked at him with a look that had "are you kidding me?" written all over it. Rudely finishing my sentences when my nerves were this shaken was a dumb idea.

Billy shot me an apologetic smile, but didn't seem surprised by his son's actions. Frankly, neither was I, but if Jacob was planning on objecting to my being with Edward again he'd have hell to pay.

Billy's hand reached around to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly, "I'll just go...pull out the couch." Then, he walked towards the living room.

Jake openly glared at me.

"What?" I snapped.

He just shook his head and walked towards the cabinets. While opening the door, he accidentally wrenched the top end of the handle off its nail. Anger didn't suit him.

"Good job, Sherlock," I bit sarcastically. This kind of scorn was unwarranted. Well, mostly...

He didn't even spare me a glance as he pulled out one container of Tomato Soup at Hand and violently shoved it into the microwave.

"You better call Charlie," he grumbled.

"Drat,"I mumbled, taking steps towards the phone.

I dialed my number. "Hey Dad, Jake wanted to show me his," I struggled to come up with a solid lie, "new motorcycle – No, I won't ride it – It's late and I think I'm just going to spend the night at Emily's – Yes, dad, Emily's – Embry's fine – Well, not _peachy keen_ fine, just moderately broken leg fine – doctor says he should be great by next week – yeah, well, Embry's a quick healer – yeah – yeah, ok – bye." I hung up the phone.

"Happy?" I asked Jacob.

His attention never wavered from the _Creamy Tomato Blend_, of which he was consuming in gulpfuls.

I raised an eyebrow, "Since when do werewolves eat Campbells?" I asked.

"Since, I started liking it," he shot back.

I grinned a little, "Jacob, you're ridiculous."

"You're face is ridiculous," he muttered between swags.

I laughed. His mouth twitched a little. A happy Jake made for a happy Bella.

He glanced up at me for once, "Bells, are you still going to marry that bloodsucker?" he asked, apparently thinking that my smiling meant that he could insult my future husband.

"Yes. We've been through this," I responded robotically, "I love him with all my heart and I don't know where I'd be without him."

Finally, all the cards were layed. Hurting Jake's Emotions vs. Defending my love for Edward. It was a fair fight, but the latter would always win.

Always.

I could see the pain flash across his features as I said this. He responded, "You'd be happy," he suggested,"But, what if he never escapes Josius. You'll be wasting your life away!" he exclaimed, slamming his fist down on the table.

The wood splintered and cracked underneath it.

I sighed. "I could never be happy without him...not now that I've had him," I explained, trying to make Jake understand. I turned the most pleading gaze I could muster on him, "Plus, you're going to imprint someday, and forget all about me." The concept of Jacob forgetting me hurt deep down inside, but maybe it was what we both needed.

His head bowed, "I'll never forget you...and what if I've already imprinted."

My hope lifted some, "On who?" I asked.

"You," he said, looking up, "I know the others tell me that it's different, but..." he closed his eyes, debating whether to speak what was on his mind, "I don't think I can ever feel for anybody else stronger than the way I feel for you." His voice came out of his lips in a bashful tone, surely not the one he had been trying for.

I was speechless. These confessions always unhinged me some. Forcing my mouth to speak, I assured him, "You will." It sounded more like I was convincing myself though.

He seemed to sense that I wanted this conversation to terminate. "You look beat, Bells. Get some rest," he said, finishing up his soup and chucking it at the waist bin, football style.

I nodded, "Night, Jake...Be careful."

"Night," he responded, before disappearing out the door.

That went surprisingly well. Hurt feelings were kept to a minimum and no one raised their voice. The only victim was the poor table.

Entering the living room, I spotted Billy in the recliner, pretending innocence, like he hadn't chose this spot to hear every word his son and I exchanged.

He gave me a sad smile before rising and exiting the same way I had come.

I stretched out on the couch and closed my eyes. Sleep, though, was slow in finding me. But when it finally did, I dreamed.

I dreamed of Edward. We were walking around Forks, sun blazing, Edward glittering, but no one seemed to care that a living gemstone was walking among them.

Holding hands, we just talked and enjoyed each other's company.

"Bella," he addressed me in his silky voice.

"Mhmm," I replied.

"Do you love me?" he asked.

What a silly question, "Of course."

He smiled my favorite smile, "Would you prove your love to me?" his eyebrows wiggled enticingly.

My brows furrowed, "Anything," I answered, and it was the truth.

Looking around, I noticed the surroundings had transformed, from a sidewalk in Forks, to a tunnel. Edward started backing away from me.

"If you can catch me, you love me," he stated, a laugh in his voice.

I was entirely too confused now. Of course I couldn't catch him. He was super fast. But he didn't appear to be running.

I moved a few steps closer. Then, I blinked a few times. Although I had moved towards him, Edward had remained the same distance apart from me. The laugh in his eyes dimmed, and a slight frown appeared on his angel's face.

My feet carried me a couple more steps closer. Still, I received the same result.

This time, Edward's expression was outright scorn.

I sprinted for him, running as fast as I could possibly go, but it was like running on a treadmill specifically designed to match your speed.

"I do love you!" I called to him.

His frown remained. To the right, Tanya stepped into view. She wrapped her filthy arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder, taunting me. Daring me to challenge her.

I ran harder. My breath was coming in quick gasps.

Edward's head fell as Tanya's smirk widened. He grabbed her hand and strolled out of my nightmare.

"No!" I cried uselessly.

Behind me, I could hear cruel laughter. I pivoted. Josius was standing behind me, holding something - a rope I noticed upon further investigation. My eyes followed its braided cords all the way to...me.

Josius was holding me back with the rope. _He _was the reason I couldn't reach Edward. I lunged for him, but he disappeared, his booming, manic laughter echoing after him.

I smashed my palms to my ears, trying to block the brutal mockery. The booms became louder and more spread out. They sounded less like laughter and more like thunder now.

The thunder woke me.

_Boom!_ There it was again.

Funny. There wasn't a cloud in sight tonight. This sure was a sudden storm.

_Boom!_ I listened for the rain, but heard none.

Sweeping back the covers, I rose from the bed and peaked through the blinds. Stars dotted the heavens above, undisturbed by light pollution here at the reserve. No clouds. No rain. No storm. Maybe I had imagined the thunder.

_Boom! _Nope. It was real.

I stood there at the window listening for a while. The booms kept reverberating at odd intervals. They sounded like thunder crashing. Like something crashing.

Oh, no. My breath halted. They sounded like _something _crashing...or someone. They sounded like, say, the noise a vampire and a werewolf would make were they to collide.

Oh, God no... I stepped into the nearest pair of shoes I could locate and ran out the door.

No one was going to die or fight for me any more. Not if I could help it.


	15. Chapter TWELVE ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer**: I am just borrowing SM's stuff for a second or four-thousand…well, life. But, when I get done, if I get done, I'll put them right back on her shelf. Well, everyone but Edward and Jacob. I call dibs.

_**THANK YOU THREESIES OMG…LIFE IS WORTH LIVING**_

**Nickjonas'girl4eva: O, don't I kno it. Jasper just strayed from the straight and narrow. And Edward is just…unavailable at the moment. They'll be back.**

**Meyarose: Your review! The eloquence! The articulation! (bows before you) Oh, great one, teach me your ways. Lol :D**

**Mattybabe: OOOOOO brussel sprouts AND cookies. Jeeze thnx. Have fun in China. Bring me back a panda, would you:D they're just so darned cute.**

**Emmi**

**Kersicca: I bought Bella a taser for Christmas, but she never uses it. No, instead, she just runs around and attracts mortal peril like the world's largest magnet with a paper clip. And, about Edward drinking Bella's blood, a substantial amount would have to be consumed in order to obtain the uber vampirism. Eddie didn't drink that much at all. Josius wants to drain her.o and (leGASP)!!!! I've released rabid platypuses and kangaroos onto an unsuspecting world. BELLA HAND ME THAT TASER! And where the hell is Pjotter. Did you air mail him or snail mail?...maybe he's on backorder. Slicem dicem underwear sound questionable to me…especially if I plan on reproducing ever. Sorry I haven't mentioned alice in a while. You'll find out eventually. Oh and here. (grabs spoon and beams it with a shrink ray, thus making it smaller) VWALA. A spoonette. Better?**

**Euphoriafalls: bella, apologize right now for beating someone with em's country…She says no. I REALLY shouldn't have let her have that taser. She thinks she's all that now. Anyways, good idea about the josius thing. You can call me Lily T. the vampire slayer from now on.**

**MelodyCullen: thanks thanks thanks, oh and, thanks. Yes, go right ahead and beat the holy buckets out of Josius with Pluto. IT IS SOOOO A PLANET!**

**Shinobi ShiniahehWHATERSFACE: love E and B heaps too much to ever write a fic without them. Good luck to you in your Japanese search. I really hope it's three letters or less…**

**Yourwriter: new reviewer…oH BOY!! Thnx. Me too.**

**THrushflightEdward'sstalker: Congrats on being the first flame…well, half flame…more like an ember really, but hey, I can take it…For scientific purposes, what didn't you like about chapter uno? Thnx for reviewing.**

**Thefuturemrs.edwardcullen: that's odd…Edward's with me right now…hmmmm. LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE. What, Edward? You're CHEATING on me?!?! Brb…**

**Rebeckah: OOOO nother new reviewer. Thanks oodles and kaboodles. **

Chapter 12

I sprinted for the deep booming sound, pushing my way past the thick undergrowth of the forest. That machete I had planned to kill Josius with sure would've come in handy right about now.

Mostly, I let instinct lead my thoughts and actions. I had not a clue as to what I would do once I got there – if there was anyone there at all.

How stupid would I feel if I arrived and there were no vampires or werewolves in sight, and the government was…oh, I don't know – experimenting with sonic boom rays or something?

The answer was not stupid at all. I'd feel relieved. Probably give every government official a kiss or three despite their genders and ages.

My mind clung to that ridiculous, unfounded hope even as I pushed harder against the woods.

These trees were normally so peaceful, so tranquilizing. Now, they hindered and obstructed, like hands hell bent on keeping me from saving Edward's life – like hands hell bent on killing him, even if it was indirectly.

The booms were so loud now. Deafness would have been a serious concern if there were not so many countless other things to worry about.

Josius winning. Edward dead. Josius taking over the world. Edward dead. Jacob getting injured. Edward dead.

Somewhere along the way, it had begun to rain. My clothes were already damp.

Up ahead, there was a break in the trees. This was the home stretch, and I booked it.

My feet carried me straight into a scene from my worst nightmare.

Josius, Irina, and the Cullens were matched up against the wolf pack.

I couldn't see much with the rain and the dark, just the pale glow coming from the vampires and the large, burly shapes of the wolves, but I could still make out who was fighting whom.

Jasper was being circled by two snarling wolves, one Seth for sure.

My heart reached out for Seth first. He didn't stand a chance, but then I remembered how he'd ripped Victoria's boy toy to shreds and I swiftly became equally concerned for my brother.

Carlisle, Esme, and Irina, Tanya's red headed partner in crime, were taking on two – Embry and Quil.

Alice and Rosalie were being attacked by three I didn't recognize at all.

Emmett was dueling Paul.

Finally, my vision focused on the battle I was most terrified of.

Edward and Jacob were simply staring at one another, each deducing the moves the other would make. Apparently, Jake had given up on full offenses. It was no use anyway, since Edward could read his mind.

Watching this was tearing me to pieces, ripping out my heart and stomping on it repeatedly.

I cringed and reached out as Edward pounced at Jake. He missed, thank God.

Josius was locked in a battle with Sam. Or rather, was trying to get around Sam, to me most likely, but I'd save him the trouble.

I forced my feet to hurry onto the battlefield. Something furry brushed across my leg, and I looked down. Resting on the grass, in an awkward, distorted position was a tawny wolf. Limbs were arranged in a way that wasn't natural, and blood was pouring forth from a gaping wound in the creature's side.

Moisture welled up in my eyes. I was too late. Someone had already died – trying to defend _me_. This wasn't worth it. I wasn't worth it.

"Josius, you son of a bitch!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. The ferocious ice in my voice rivaled that of Antarctica.

Through the rain, now coming down in sheets, I could see that Josius pivoted on the spot, turning to glare at me with equivalent fury.

The fighting came to a stand-still for the moment, its participants alternating glances between their opponents and me.

Smoothly, Josius pulled on a cool mask. "Look who decided to tag along," he taunted, "Enjoying the show?"

I strode towards him, crazy or no. He was going to kill me anyway. With my peripheral vision, I could make out a head, quite obviously lacking a body. Raven hair was splayed around it. Kate had been another casualty.

"Here, I am. Take me already!" I cried, "This," I continued, gesturing to the dead wolf and vampire, "was unnecessary."

If I was going to die, I'd give him a piece of my mind first.

My soon-to-be-murderer smirked the same time lightning lit the sky. His eerie expression was serial killer worthy, "That's just a part of the fun," he said casually.

"Bell…Bella!" I heard a familiar voice croak. Turning my gaze, I saw Edward, his topaz eyes closed tightly shut. When they opened at last, his gaze was clouded over, muffled.

"Just let me talk to him!" I beseeched.

"How touching," Josius bit sarcastically, "last words betwixt lovers. How's this, darling? You tell me what you want to say to him, and I'll give him the message after you're dead. Time is money, you know."

This was hell, the deepest circle I was sure. I would die slowly, Josius would become invincible, and Edward wouldn't even know how much I still loved him.

Stealing a glance at Edward, I bit my lip and steeled myself against tears. I wouldn't bow to this monster. "Kill me now then," I dared.

His eyes blazed crimson, "If you insist."

In a flash, Josius was standing in front of me. His face leaned closer towards my neck. And closer and closer. I could feel his lips at my pulse point. My eyes closed.

But the bite never came. Instead, snarls and growls met my ears.

The entire wolf pack had launched themselves at Josius.

Several unsettling crunching sounds were head above the roar of the brawl. A white _something_ was hurled from the clash.

"Stop it," I yelled at the werewolves. They were going to get themselves killed.

The fight persisted, that is, until Cullens eventually pulled the wolves away. Josius was left on the ground. His hand was no longer attached to his body, but he sprang up from the grass as if the amputation hadn't deterred him in the least.

Multiple cracking sounds and excruciated howls surrounded me. It sounded like many bones crunching at the same time. I cringed.

The vampires had caught a bunch of distracted, teenaged werewolves off guard. Then, Josius must have commanded my brainwashed family to cripple them.

Fresh tears poured from my eyes at the sight of Edward violently snapping Jake's hind legs – without batting an eyelash.

The lie I had told Charlie earlier suddenly struck me as ironic.

I was flippantly tossed over someone's shoulder – Josius' of course.

Then, he was lugging me through the forest.

Fruitlessly, I beat against his granite back and tried to wiggle myself out of his grip. Then, I noticed that it was not simply the two of us. Edward was following not a foot behind. My fingers reached out and brushed across his arm, but no sign of recognition, or even of awareness, was visible on his face.

My sobs grew desperate. Due to my position slung over Josius' back, my hair was sopping and tangled from my tears and the rainfall.

Finally, we stopped. The rain had stopped, too, at least where we were, and where we were was a space under a highway bridge, the kind where trashcan fires are lit by homeless people in the winter.

I was violently thrown to the floor, but immediately stood, ignoring the pain.

Josius glanced about him and gestured at the concrete arch above us, "I wanted to take my time with you," he said nonchalantly, "Can't have anyone interrupting. I guess this will have to do."

His words sent shivers down my spine, but I managed to keep my eyes steady in their loathing.

Edward was staring in my general direction, but his gaze was focused more _through_ me.

"Why did you bring him?" I asked fiercely, "To watch?"

Josius knew that helplessly watching me perish would be Edward's ultimate torture.

"Originally, yes," my killer confessed, "But recently, I decided that he should play a much more, shall we say, _interactive_ role."

**AN: soooo intense. Painfully intense. **


	16. Chapter Twelve and OneHalf ACTUALLY

Chapter 12 and One Half

Josius' eyes glinted, and he had a sickening smirk on his face.

In that moment, I knew exactly what he was planning on doing. Above the steady pattering of the rain, I could've sworn I heard the wheels in my mind click in realization.

Oh, God. Edward.

I looked into the frightened black orbs of the man I never got to marry. The overwhelming defeat I saw there showed that he had figured it out, too. Josius must not be exerting full control over him, wanting to draw out this sick torture.Edward looked sick.

My eyes begged Josius not to – not for my sake, but for his.

"You've been a thorn in my side from the beginning," Josius told Edward. His smirk turned further up on his face, into a sadistic grin. "Kill her, Edward."

The words were said quietly, but they filled the space with heaviness and loss.

He hadn't said them out loud to make Edward do it. He'd said those words so that I would know…the icing on this cruel, tragic cake, so to speak.

Edward stumbled backwards on the concrete till he was against the opposite arch. Hands uselessly trying to find a grip on its smooth surface, attempting to restrain himself in any way possible, he shook his head back and forth. Sobs and growls were ripping from his throat. Why, then, did I feel like the one being tortured?

Josius was going to hell for this – if I had to drag him there myself.

My feet might as well have been stapled to the floor. I was paralyzed, even as the love of my soon-to-end life took one fumbling step towards me.

"NO!" Edward cried, glancing over at Josius, "Anything but this. Please. Kill me," he moved another foot closer, "Don't make her die!" his voice cracked on the last word""God, please, no! Don't make me kill her!""

Laughter was the only vindictive reply he recieved.A strangled cry escaped his lips.

I decided that Edward wouldn't have much to do when he reached me. I was already dying.

I caught my love's gaze. On his face was the most intense expression I had ever seen him wear: ultimate love and hatred and fear, features contorted with the force of his inner struggle.

Unidentifiable words were falling from his mouth now, just dry sobs and whispers.

"Bella, I'm sorry – so sorry…" he lowered his head and repeated those words to me, in between gasps, till he was standing not a foot away.

Finally, he lifted his head. Even now, my breath caught.

Edward was beautiful, more so than the day I'd met him because of my love. Feral eyes and tasseled bronze hair made him appear otherworldly – a fallen angel.

I gave a thought or two to running away, but I wouldn't let Edward's last memories of Bella be of her cowering away from him in fear, and plus, I could never outrun him. Call this a final gift.

"I love you," I whispered, giving him a sad smile.

Edward's perfect mouth was opening and closing, his eyes squinted tightly together. The war inside him was barring speech, but when his eyes opened I knew that he loved me still. It was written in their onyx depths.

I did wish that I could hear him tell me of his love one last time, though. I supposed I'd just have to hang on to my memories – if I had memories where I was going.

Edward's hands were on my shoulders now. The cold, shakyfingers slowly traveled up till they were around my neck.

Of course.

Josius wasn't going to demand Edward to bite me. He wanted my blood all to himself. All Edward was commanded to do was kill me.

Josius, I hoped, would keep Edward under mind control to stop him from shouldering the blame for my early grave. Maybe then he wouldn't run off to Italy.

I could feel his shuddering breath on my forehead now, and his fingers squeezed the tender flesh at my throat slightly.

Savoring the feel of his body so close to mine, I looked up into his fierce orbs for the last time. My Edward was in there - somewhere.

Then, I closed my eyesand said a silent prayer to God, that if nothing else, he let me remember these last years, and then waited for my neck to snap – waited for death.


	17. Chapter Thirteen ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer**: SOOOOOO, how about that weather? O really, yes you're right, it is much more interesting than this disclaimer...even if you do live in an underground box...with no light...O ya know what? Why don't you just shut your pie hole!

_**Jeeze...I was surprised by the intense reaction...I apologize for the tears. Hope I didn't ruin anyone's shirt/get anybody electricuted...maybe I should have you sign a waiver. :**_

**Manja: Don't die...please don't die...but if, on the off chance, you do die, kindly leave it in your will not to sue me...here's a pen.**

**ThrushflightEdward'sStalker: Wow...you're review this time certainly made up for the ember. I cried for weeks, not, but you were right. I seem to have trouble starting out, so things come out all unorganized and jumbled.**

**Kersicca: I'm writing this from a prison cell that I share with a lonely guy name Fred...Because of you and your accursed itch voodoo, I ran to CVS and held the cashier at gunpt for antiitch cream. HA! I wish you went mad in your class. Revenge sweet revenge...No, Bob. Down boy. Bob DON"T TOUCH THAT! IT WAS A GIFT FROM MY UNCLE FRANNY!...Fine, bob, uuuuuu don't get to read the rest of my story. Oh, you can't read...o and hAHAHAHA. Bananas are just classic humor. I'm eating one right now, but im having lots of trouble because I can't eat it while looking at it or ill laugh. So, neways, maybe Pjotter, if hehasn't been eaten by dogs, will rescue me from this illiterate, slaking, banana theif named bob.**

**Nobodyparticular: thnx...glad I could cause a revolution. Makes me feel all warm and tingly inside.**

**Jinxed.Cherries: THANKS...that's a new smiley, i've never seen that one before. Well, I guess you learn something every day.**

**Melody Cullen: Join the club. We're making tshirts on Saturday. Wanna club. Our anagram is KJWAC! (kill josius with a continent). THANKS for agreeing on the Pluto thing. Let's make picket signs.**

**Emmi: Cliffhangers have a mind of their own, and you just happen o be in their destructive path. I shall now pull you back up...some of the way.**

**MeyaRose: My. You have such a way with words and emoticons. (rubs crystal ball) I foresee great speeches in your future. Lol jk. Ly**

**SS...K: THOSE DARNED JAPANESE...no offense to any who are japanese. WHY can't they just say vampire. But no? They had to be like, well we're all better than everyone else because we have sesame chicken and kimonos, so we can just make our words SUPER big to get on Lily Turtle's nerves. LeGASP. NOOO not the evil minions!**

**Easily-dazzled: read review above yours. Thanks**

**Thefuturemrs.edwardcullen: I'll be sure to buy you kangaroo repellent for christmas. YOU RUINED MY HAPPY HAPPY IDENTITY CRISIS jerk! Stupid, nice reviewing jerk!**

**Ms.Veronica Cullen: Hmmm, strokes chin and pets fuzzy cat, would I? Would I indeed?**

**Albnal33: SORRY, have a tissue. And a cookie cake. And some ben and jerry's**

**XCullenloveX: that's because i AM STEPHENIE MEYER. MWUHAHAHA. Jk. Thank you.**

**INVX: LOLOLOLOLOL. Interactive sex...you crack me up. The table does need to sue jake, for every penny he's got...and he actually was, but then Billy got cold and set poor tabley ablaze. Moment of silence please. Sorry bout the drama.**

**Mattbabe: Yay your'e in China, whihc is mucho better than this fanfic. The land of rice and funny hats and MULAN! I shall never forget you.**

**Em: Green flying llamas are such an excellent idea. Why haven't i thought of this! **

Chapter 13

The moment seemed to drag on for an eternity. 

Josius was silent with a disturbing eagerness that I could practically feel in the air. It was dampening it, burdening it down so that it weighed on my shoulders. Edward was breathing unnecessary breaths hard. 

Strangely I, the one about to meet her Maker, was the only calm one in the room.Funny, I thought, as Edward's frigid hands tightened their grip just a little more, people always said that your life flashes before your eyes.

It wasn't anything like that, but maybe that was because my life physically _was_ in front of my eyes. My whole life wrapped up in one stubborn vampire.

Oddly enough, I felt...ready. The only thing I wasn't ready for was the blazing guilt I was positive Edward would experience. 

Suddenly, Edward snatched his hands back. 

"No," he weakly murmured, "NO!"

I opened one eye, then the other. Like a TV that's channels were being flipped hurriedly by an impatient old man, emotions were flitting across Edward's face. 

No matter, what was written there though, his eyes remained tortured. No matter how valiant his efforts, this was a lost cause – no fairytale endings for me. But before I died, I had to make sure he knew I didn't blame him. 

"Edward," I began.

He grimaced.

"Please, one last thing," I begged.

His head sharply turned away when I uttered 'last', and he held up a trembling hand to stop me.

I reached up and placed my palm on the side of his perfect face. He recoiled from my touch, but I followed him. 

"Edward," I began again, "Please – don't blame yourself, okay?"

His entire body was shaking now with his efforts of restraint.

"I TOLD YOU TO KILL HER!" Josius bellowed, his voice drowning out the sounds of the thunderstorm, ricocheting off the walls of this makeshift torture chamber.

"I...Bella, I..." Edward began, then squinted his eyes tightly together. His head was violently whipping back and forth, every muscle in his body tense. "I...I...love," he gasped, "love you."

My heart soared when he said that, and I knew that I'd never get tired of hearing those words from him for as long as I lived – if I had gotten the chance to live long.

Those words were apparently the end of his rope, for his hands swiftly clasped around my throat again, his expression clouded over and murky again.

Josius was tired of his little game. 

What madness made me do it, I didn't know, maybe just the overwhelming urge to be in contact with him, but I reached my hands up to close around his forearms. Surely, I was the only person in the world who wanted to be nearer to their murderer.

His hands tightened their grip, as did mine. So, Josius wanted my strangled, no broken neck.

I realized then that I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe at all. 

Choking and sputtering, I looked up into Edward's eyes, but he wasn't there, just that cold, mindless substitute Josius had created.

Spots were blurring my vision. The edges were going all hazy. My head felt huge, swollen. I tried to inhale, to get precious oxygen to my lungs, but his ever-tightening grip was restricting its passage. 

I'd read somewhere that after a minute or two, you'd eventually pass out. I wanted that moment now. The panic and complete awareness was excruciating. I could feel my fingers growing numb, and then feel that numbness slowly start to expand upward. This was better, much better.

Things were beginning to dim. 

Vaguely, somewhere in the distance, I thought I could hear a tearing sound, but it was like listening to something through a pillow. My mind hardly acknowledged it.

Most everything was dark now, and quiet, my own personal bubble. I couldn't even hear the rain. 

I did notice, however, something cold against my right cheek. Edward? No, not Edward – too rough to be his smooth skin. 

I felt discombobulated. If this was the heaven, I was going to ask God for some serious improvements. I never even got a white light to follow. 

Trying to twist my head, I felt something rough, that same cold whatever-it-was scraping my skin. Maybe something wasn't touching my face. Maybe my face was touching something. 

My eyes opened, and I tried to force them into focus, but the corners were still blurry. White shapes were darting around in front of me. Angels? – Now this was more like my idea of an afterlife, if only Edward were here.

I attempted to bend my face towards the divine figures, but closed my eyes in – pain? There was pain in heaven? Well, God certainly failed to mention this part.

Gradually, my hearing returned, and my ears picked up on the sound of rain – Rain and pain...two rhyming words that were not supposed to be in the Great Beyond. 

So, maybe, my heart hoped, maybe this wasn't death...

Yells and shouts and ripping sounds were coming from the angels now. I didn't recall from Sunday School that angels were so violent – if they were angels, which they weren't because I wasn't dead. Was I?

My senses were coming back clearer. The white masses I had seen were still there, moving quickly around one another.

Another ripping sound, and a shout. 

Slowly, things clinked back into place one by one.

One of those white shapes, I was sure, was Edward.

My body getting ahead of my abilities, I sat up straight, but fell to the floor again from the dizziness and pounding in my head. I'd try again, I decided, but this time, I twisted my face, steeling myself against the pain. When the adrenaline kicked in, I stood, but my legs were Jell-O, and threatened to give way underneath me.

Quick as a flash, one of the white shapes broke from the mass and barreled towards me. 

I cringed, preparing myself for Josius' revenge for my failing to expire. Instead, I was swept up and carried outside. I was sitting on the wet ground, rain drizzling over me, before I could even blink. 

This insanely fast motion was more than my nerves or throbbing head could take. Darkness enveloped me. 

**A/N: Not my worst cliffy, by far. Did you actually think I was just going to let Bella croak? Hahaha...Tricked ya.**


	18. Chapter Fourteen ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer:** Look at my face. Does it look like I own this? O...you can't see my face? Well, that's probably a good thing. I'm just "prattling on". Blah blah blah bleh. Oh, i have a funny statement...AHEM "Is a hippopotamus a large mammal, or just a really cool otomus?" TEHEHEHe...he

**THANKS EVERYBODYXOXOXOXOXOUnless you have an uncanny tendency to shy away from human contact...then I understand.**

**Nobodyparticular: Breathe...Inhale...Exhale...Inhale...UHHH? What comes next? WHAT COMES NEXT? (Hyperventilates) SOMEONE PASS ME THE PAPER BAG!**

**SS: I shall send my own minions to that author who killed Bella. Ye TRAITOR! Feel thy snowball wrath! (yay. It's snowing.)**

**Kersicca: smelly hairballs indeed. Anyways, I'm STILLLL in jail. Did pjotter get kidnapped? Ask a blind man for directions? My cell block number is 456636346( it's a rather large prison...on an island in the middle of Lake Erie) He can't miss it. Oh, if you would be so kind, could you ship me some Reece Cup King Sized...and some earplugs. Fred snores...and is quite fond of doing loud, obnoxious Nsync renditions. In your words, "GHEH". Bob ran completely away with my b-an-an-a. Not only that, but he left the peel on my floor so I tripped and broke my spleen. Poor spleeny...So, how was mars? You know ive always wanted to go there. And i did simulate choking. Just call me mrs. Dedication.**

**XCULLENLOVEx: Lol. Poor Jacob...he's just a jerk sometimes. Thanks for the review.**

**Euphoria falls: YAY! I helped you heal those broken ankles. Finally, my deed to mankind is finished. I can die happy. PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP can I borrow flying green llamas? I think they would make an excellent addition to my back yard, on top of my SUV. Maybe we can fed ex some to the Volturi. I hear they make lovely Christmas gifts.**

**Thefuturemrs.edwardcullen: Thanks for the long review. I DOO feel loved. BTW, i loved frankenstein. Such a good novel. Sad though, especially when he watched that family and thought they'd take him in, but then they shunned him...Poor frankenstein. AND ALRIGHTTIEM FOR SOME REVENGE DEATH THREATS! How could you just go and break my heart like that? I'll never get over it...I shall now ignore you for eternity. ---------------------------**

**MeyaRose: KK. This coments almost as long as yours.**

**Albnal33: Paprika flavored cookie cakes are the best. O, and I dipped it into a vat of radioactive waste. That should explain the glowing. Don't be surprised if strange superpowers show up in the next week or two. It's 3: 41. I decided to comply with your demands.**

**Cubye4: tis a great word isn't it? Newyas...new reviewer. YAY What shall your initiation be? O i know. I dare you to stand on the golden gate bridge, and moon every one who drives by. How's that sound?**

Chapter 14

Dawn and a strange cool hand on my forehead woke me. I blinked slowly a few times, trying to regain my senses. When I finally followed the arm attached to the hand, up to its owner's face, it was not the one I expected to see.

"Alice?"

She smiled sadly, "How you feeling?"

"Fine," I said in rush, trying to get up. I was propped up against a large oak tree. "Where's Edward?" I asked frantically.

Alice pushed me back down. "He's fine," she answered, or rather didn't answer my question, smiling some more. I could tell right away that it was forced though.

"_Where _though?" I demanded. 

Her eyes tightened, "He'll be back," she reassured.

"Be back? You mean he left?" I cried. I did stand this time. My head still felt woozy, but nothing in the entire universe would stop me from finding Edward.

"Bella, listen to me," she said, grabbing my shoulders. "He's coming back. I promise."

I sighed, but I'd trust her now. Suddenly, I realized how much I'd missed my best friend.

I threw myself at her in an entirely too inappropriate hug for an ill fed vampire. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"S'okay," she answered back, laughing. "I would've done the same."

I stepped back eventually, "So, how have you been?"

Her face darkened. 

That was apparently the wrong question to ask at the moment. 

"Never mind," I quickly corrected, "You don't have to tell me."

"No, Bella, it's not that..." she started.

My brows furrowed, but I remained silent. I wasn't going to press her.

She looked back up, "I'll tell you later, okay?"

I nodded, then grinned, "Right after we go shopping?"

She squealed and clapped her hands together. "Bella, I LOVE you!"

"I'm surprised," I muttered, thinking about all the trouble I'd caused. 

She shook her head, "You and Edward – always blaming yourselves." Then, she turned, scanning the treeline on the opposite end of the field. We were on the edge of a field, I noted. The sun was barely over the horizon, the tops of the trees silhouetted in light pinks and oranges. The ground was drenched in rain.

Thank God, that I had been moved away from that bridge. I really don't think I could've handled seeing it at the moment.

Alice was still gazing patiently at the trees.

Then, _he_ broke through, slowly striding onto the field. He was glorious, sparkling in the early morning light, water still dripping from his hair, that bronze hair that was tangled and curling messily over his glittering forehead. He had his face tilted towards the earth.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I took off at a sprint for him, my knotted hair flying behind me. I seemed to be running a lot today. Edward never even looked up, whether he hadn't noticed me or didn't care was the question that bothered me.

When I was close enough, I launched myself at him, latching on, wrapping my legs and arms around him – his own living shirt. 

The force of the impact knocked the breath out of me, and he looked up, surprised. His expression instantaneously changed to anger upon seeing my face, though.

"Alice," he growled, "I though I told you to take her home!" 

I cringed. 

Alice's voice came from directly behind me, "She _needed_ to see you, Edward – your name was the first sound out of her mouth." 

I blushed, buried my face into Edward's shoulder, and mumbled, "Second. The first one was 'where's'."

The man I was currently encircled around had still refused to wrap his arms around me. I had to use my muscles to stay in place.

Then, speculations as to why he would've requested that Alice take me away hit me, and I sharply glanced at him. "Were you _leaving?_"

He had the decency to look away, ashamed.

I turned my head towards Alice, "Pass me a nail gun," I told her, almost serious.

"Why?" she asked slowly, drawing the word out.

"So I can permanently bolt myself to Edward so that he won't take all the blame for something that wasn't his fault and go running off to stupid South America...Really, what's so great about South America anyway? 

"But even if he does go, I'm going with him, and there's nothing he can do about it because I _love _him, and – and that's also something he can't do anything about" I said, the words rushing out in a torrent, then finished, "Obviously."

I gripped him tighter. Slowly, gradually, Edward's arms lifted to hold me to him tentatively.

"Bella..." he whispered into my ear.

I shook my head, "And don't you give me any of that 'I don't want you anymore' business either...unless...unless you really don't want me any more," I said. "Do you?"

Really, I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. 

He didn't speak.

But just because I wasn't going to blame him doesn't mean that it didn't still hurt.

"Alice," he finally said, giving her a pointed look.

I turned around to glance at her. She nodded and disappeared. 

"Bella," he started again, "I almost killed you. I _was_ killing you." His melodious voice broke twice under its sorrow.

I pressed my face into the side of his neck and shook my head.

Per usual, he was blaming himself. "Josius was killing me," I corrected, "Not you. And you're not leaving."

He started trying to pry my fingers away from him, but I wouldn't have it, clutching to him tighter. 

He sighed, "I'm not going to leave – but you should want me to..."

I looked up at him incredulously. "That, Edward, is by far the stupidest thing you've ever said...And here I thought vampires were supposed to be smart," I scoffed.

"Bella, I love you from the core of my being, but...I...you almost...DIED!" he yelled, "Don't you understand? I almost killed you Bella. I almost _murdered_ you..." His voice was intense, trying to intimidate me. "_You_, the love of my life, almost died at _my _hands...and if it weren't for Tanya..." I could feel his shudder. 

"It wasn't your fault Edward!" I yelled back, trying to knock some sense into his thick head. "Josius was controlling you, and you couldn't do anything about it. I still love you; I'll always love you. Don't you care? This proves it!"

"All you've proven is that you're insane," he bit back, but I could feel his hand, fingers spread out on the flat of my back, jerk me closer. 

"Your fault," I murmured into his damp shirt.

His expression instantly softened and he smiled a bit.

"Wait..." I said, "Tanya?"

That word erased his smile, and I regretted saying it. 

"She saved you, Bella," he finally said, "she distracted Josius enough to draw his attention away from me."

I blinked. The irony was delicious.

"Oh," I managed to say, "Wow." 

Remind me to send her a fruit basket and a tractor-trailer full of thank you notes.

He nodded. "Now," he changed the subject, "you need to let go," he said.

I held on tighter, "Do we need to go over this again?" 

He chuckled, then leaned in closer. "I can't kiss you the way I want to when you're like this," he whispered huskily. 

"Is that a promise?" I asked, letting my death grip loosen slightly.

"A promise."

"Would you sign a blood oath?" I teased.

He was silent for a moment. "That's not funny, Bella."

"Yeah, it was," I countered quietly, but let him lower me to the ground.

As soon as my feet touched the grass, he crushed his lips to mine, hooking one elbow around my neck and his other arm around my back. 

If someone had asked me what two plus two equaled, I couldn't have answered, and not just because of my lack of oxygen. What country was this? Where was I? And more importantly, who cared?

I kissed him back, throwing caution and all his dumb rules to the wind. I moved my lips from his mouth and trailed them down the side of his neck, peppering that place where his neck connected to his shoulder with frantic butterfly kisses. His hand reached up to run through my hair, and he growled.

I smiled against his cold skin. 

"Bella...stop," he groaned.

Thoroughly ignoring him, I brushed my lips across his collarbones to worship his other shoulder. 

His hand grabbed a fistful of my hair and groaned again. "Bella, you have to stop...before I..." he was panting, "before I take...before ...in this very field."

Reluctantly, I pulled away, but was stopped from going far by his hand still holding the back of my neck. 

Swiftly, he removed his hands and backed up a few feet. His eyes closed and he lifted his face towards the pastel painted sky. Now, I could see little rivulets of water dripping down from his hair and trailing winding, rainbow paths down his skin.

After ogling for a good five minutes, I flushed and apologized. "I guess I got a little carried away..."

He opened one eye and looked at me accusingly, "Really? I hadn't noticed...I was nearly about to..."

"About to..." I urged.

He glanced back up at the sky. "Never mind."

In spite of myself, I grinned. I knew _exactly_ what he was nearly about to do. The fact that I held such control over him was frightening – and thrilling.

Rising in columns above his head, I could see thin columns of purple smoke. It was a painful reality check. Caught up in the sweet moment of our reunion, I had nearly forgotten about the battle. 

I pointed to the smoke. "Is that...?" I asked.

He glanced at me. "Yes."

I glowered. He noticed the expression on my face. "Are you – mad?"

"Just wished I would've gotten to rip a few limbs off is all."

His laugh resonated somewhat bitter. 

"Can I," I started, "Can I see?" My voice was hesitant.

He looked at me like I was mad. Which I probably was, but still.

"I just want to make sure," I told him.

Somberly, he nodded, understanding me somehow. Then, he turned around, and I climbed onto his back. 

As he took off, I realized how much I'd missed this – running with him. Any marathon runner would weep for envy. But it wasn't just the speed I enjoyed, though that was exhilarating. It was the smoothness, the feeling of flying, and the way Edward smelled underneath me.

I laughed for joy.

We reached another break in the trees, and I saw the field I had seen earlier. The meadow that the vampires had been fighting the werewolves, the meadow where I watched nauseated, as Edward snapped Jake's legs with a sickening crunch.

I flinched. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

Edward tugged on my hand. "Maybe we should go back." 

"No – I want to do this."

I walked forward toward the flames. They were starting to die down now. 

Morbidly, I hoped Josius could feel them. 

I thought about all the lives he had nearly ruined. I thought about that werewolf lying dead on the ground, and Kate. Even though I hadn't liked her much, she didn't deserve this.

Crying out in rage, I rushed forward and kicked the edge of the blaze. Angry tears were pouring from my eyes.

Cold hands wrapped around my waist. Edward kissed the top of my head. "It's over now," he reassured.

"People died because of me!" 

He nestled against my hair. "What was that soliloquy you preached to me? The one about not taking the blame for everything. Listen to your own advice, Bella," he said gently.

I sighed. "Who was the werewolf that died?" I asked quietly.

Against my spine, I could feel Edward tense. "I don't think now is such a good-"

"Who died, Edward?"

"It wasn't your fault, Bella. If it was anyone's fault, it was mine. I told the werewolves to protect you."

"But I could have stopped them," I said desperately.

"No, you couldn't have," he assured fiercely. "No one is just going to let you die, Bella. It's out of the question."

He turned me around and tenderly wiped the moisture from my face with his thumbs.

"Just tell me who it was," I pleaded.

His eyes penetrated with their sadness. "Leah Clearwater."

The sobs erupted. Edward crushed me to him.

I had known Leah. Talked to her. She wasn't just a statistic. She was a living, breathing person – someone with thoughts and feelings and troubles. 

I let him hold me and stroke my hair, murmuring kind words into my hair. They wouldn't bring Leah back though.

"God, I hate him," I cried.

Edward just held me tighter.

"What about the others?" I asked, after I had calmed down some.

I could feel Edward flinch. My eyes met his imploringly.

"Are they okay?"

Slowly, he nodded. "Carlisle's attending to them now. I'm...I'm so sorry...about...Jake."

The tortured expression he wore on his face reminded me of the one he had in the tunnel. That just wouldn't do.

"Again," I stressed, "Not your fault. Injuries heal."

His mouth twisted into a lopsided grin. God, how I'd missed it. "You're incredible. I thought you'd come after me with that rocket launcher of yours, to be honest."

I shook my head and wrapped my arms around him. "Nuh uh. I have a stay-mad-at-Edward time limit of about three seconds."

He chuckled. "I'm glad."

**A/N: AWWWWW...but we're not out of the woods yet. In fact, we aren't even halfway into the woods. Who killed Leah? What will the other werewolves do? How much did Irina piss off the Malinaught (remember them) exactly? And what DO the Volturi have to do with all of this? Folks, this was only the preliminaries...**


	19. Chapter Fifteen ACTUALLY

It was noon, and we didn't go back to his house

**Disclaimer:** If I did own twilight, I would chain Edward Cullen to my room. Impossible, you say? Well, not for Super-Duper-Extra-Strength-Vampire-Rope it isn't. 3.24 at your local Walgreens.

Taxandtitlenotincludedthisisthereallyfastwordsattheendofadvertsthatareprobablyreallyimportantbutthatnoonecaresenoughtoreadbecauseyoudhavetobeavampiretohearitall

**Thanks Dear Dear Dear Deer, oops I spelled it like the animal, Dear reviewers.**

**Toshimi: Hmmmm…pulverization would be an interesting way to die. But I think I'll just save myself the trouble and update my story. Bon Apetite!**

**INVX: YOU CAME BACK! YOU CAME BACK! O HAPPY DAY! The sun is shining. The bluebirds are singing. The smirfs are dancing. (don't ask). But you, being the mentally abnormal person you are, know all about those smirfs don't you, eh? (nudge, nudge). Anywho, I was wondering. Did they put you in one of those big fluffy rooms. I've always wanted to be in one, and bounce off the walls. Just a suggestion for ways to pass the time. I shall TRY to sneak in skittles through the small slit in the door. Tanya is an elephant indeed. A very small elephant…an elephantette. Awww looky, Lily just added words to the English language. Merriam Webster should really see this. And wow. Your post for chapter 18 was truly touching, you doublespacing, all caps, hilarious reviewer you. RUN INVX RUNand also, I shall try to send you my own polka dog through the slit. He answers to larry, and in his left nostril will be the asylum floor plans, and a key so that you can get out. But you didn't hear it from me…oh and enjoy the skittles.**

**Ellen Dean: The suspense of my story kills ME. But thanks. I appreciate the love. I didn't actually intend for it to be sooo dang suspenseful. **

**Melody Cullen: Yes, that was in the original storyboards. Edward dredged up the Titanic from her watery grave and hit Josius over the head with it. But then I got a letter. Something about destroying historical artifacts or something, and I had to change it. Maybe…**

**Em: happy easter to you too. Purple streaks are super cool. If I could change one thing about the world, I think I would make it genetically possible for people to naturally have cool hair colors, like orange and blue. Instead of just boring brown, red, and blonde. YAYMY FLYING GREEN LLAMA ARRIVED TODAY I TAUGHT IT TO DO A HANDSTAND…AND NAMED IT PHILLIP EUPHORIA COOLIO**

**Albnal33: lol…I deal with the mafia on a daily basis. Give me the money! No no im just joshin you. But, really. Give me the money…I thought your adjective use was quite impressive myself.**

**MeyaRose: OMGOMGOMG(hyperventilates) IT WAS LONGER THAN ONE WORD I CAN DIE HAPPY I LOVE YOU MEYAROSE YOU COMPLETE MEhahaha. I mean, thanks.**

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen:---------------------------------------------------------**

**Someone who is definetily in no way thefuturemrs.edwardcullen: My real name is not lily actually. And I think Edward enjoys the pleasure of my company much more than yours. Don't you Edward? Edward: why yes, someone who isn't named lily, I do! Thank you very much Edward. And sure, let's talk books. Name one. Books are uberdy dooberdyy cool. **

**Vampirelove4Cullen: thanks. I think I've got the emotions down. I just need to work on plot development.**

**Nobodyparticular: thanks, funny you should say that tho. I thought it was one of my worst. O well. GOOD OLD ROCKY TOP WOOOO ROCKY TOP TENNESSEE!!**

**Emmi: ? I sat there staring at my computer screen, pondering that for HOURS! Thanks. In both the sarcastic and non sarcastic way.**

**Xsocialdistortionistx: There's oodles more, you know. Neways. Thanks for the review: YAYYYY NEW REVIEWERI think your initiation should be to bungee jump from mt. everest…whilst wearing a tutu.**

**Addicted2me: thanks**

Chapter 15

It was noon, and we didn't go back to his house. "Too much emotion," Edward had said. I could imagine. I bet Jasper had blown a circuit.

Instead, Edward ran me back to Charlie's.

Once we got there, he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and went to change.

I could see Charlie's cruiser in the drive-way. My latest exploit was yet another thing I'd have to hide from him. The list was growing larger by the minute.

Sometimes, for some unexplained, cosmically mysterious reason, I was tempted to tell him everything.

When he asked me what was going on in my life, sometimes I just wanted to blurt it all out. 'Oh, well my fiancée is a vampire…along with the rest of his family. And if the vampire thing isn't enough, Alice is a psychic, Edward can read minds, and Jasper can control your emotions. Speaking of Jasper, he tried to viciously kill and suck my blood one time…but that was probably the least important of my near death experiences. I have an uncanny tendency to be numbero uno on bloodthirsty vampires "Most Wanted" lists. Oh, and about Italy, so there was this crazy group of 1000 year old vampire mafia people who _also_ almost killed me.…I think that about covers it. Just kidding. Jake's a werewolf! Have a nice day…'

Instead though, I settled on the usual. After walking upstairs and changing I approached the living room.

"Hey," I announced. "I'm home."

"Hey kiddo," I heard him call from the kitchen. It sounded like pots and pans were being moved around.

Oh, no. Kitchen plus Charlie officially equals disaster. Inedible, goopy disaster.

I could hear pots clattering to the ground.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah,." His tone suggested otherwise.

I rolled my eyes and went to help my food-inept father.

Seeing my face, he sighed with relief.

"Don't worry," I told him, "I've got it."

I went to pick up the mess of pans scattered on the tiles.

"How was Emily's?" he asked, sitting down in the dining room chair.

I froze. I wasn't prepared for an interrogation.

"Alright," I finally responded, even though that was the complete opposite of the situation. Tactfully, I decided to change the subject. "What were you making here anyways?"

Charlie averted his eyes and mumbled, "Sandwiches."

I grinned. "With pots and pans and…" I looked at the other item on the counter, "sugar?"

He shrugged. "So, did you see Jake?"

And so, my brilliant plan was foiled.

"Yeah," I replied slowly. I saw him locked in a battle to the death with Edward if that counted.

"Is Embry okay?"

This time, I could tell the truth. "His leg's broken, but Carlisle's fixing him up."

Charlie nodded. "Was Emily nice?"

I nodded.

"Leah with her?"

The skillet I had been putting away fell to the ground. My breath halted. The little bubble of normality I had been building around me abruptly burst.

Thankfully, Edward had chosen this incredibly opportune moment to knock on the front door. I flew to it.

Opening it, I knew he could see tears in my eyes, but I shook my head at him.

"Dad, I'm going out with Edward," I said.

From inside the kitchen, I could hear his harrumph. I knew he was about to protest, but I didn't care. I brushed past Edward and walked to my truck. Driving might just help take my mind off things.

I got in and slammed the door. Slowly, coolly, Edward slid in beside me.

Without a word, I pulled out of the drive, and as soon as I was out of view of the house, pushed the pedal to the floorboard.

Finally, after putting a few therapeutic miles between myself and Forks, I relaxed, slowing down to the speed limit. In my truck, it didn't take much.

Beside me, I could hear Edward chuckle. "You really are a Cullen."

I wondered at how he could laugh at a time like this, but I smiled in spite of myself.

"So," he continued, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms behind his head, "Where to?"

"Antarctica?" I quietly suggested. "It's penguin season."

For some reason, he played it off as a joke. He made a noise like a game-show buzzer. "Wrong answer. Try again."

"I hear Nigeria's lovely, if you ignore the gunshots and malaria."

I'd play along. Kidding around with Edward was successfully removing my thoughts from anything that didn't have to do with us.

"Sounds lovely," he drawled, "I'll get you a shot and then we'll go."

Cringing, I replied, "I hate needles."

He looked at me like I was crazy. "But apparently being alone with a hungry vampire, miles away from civilization, with no one around to hear you scream is just fine and dandy."

I looked up in his eyes. Sure enough, they were pitch black. "Sorry," I muttered, before slowing down the vehicle and preparing to U-turn back to Forks.

A cold hand on mine stopped me though. "It's fine," he assured.

I checked his face. He was smiling.

"You sure?" I asked.

He nodded, before pointing out the windshield. "On to Nigeria!"

I laughed before putting the truck back into gear and resuming my escape. Ahem, I mean recreational outing.

"I still think Antarctica's an excellent idea," I mumbled.

This time, he didn't joke. This time, he gave me a hard look, but then bit his tongue and looked away.

I pressed the gas harder again.

"Bella, this road is winding, and I think you need to slow down."

I ignored him. No Antarctica, no slowing.

"Slow down" he commanded.

"Antarctica," I simply retorted.

"Don't make me stop this truck," he threatened.

I rolled my eyes. "You of all people are _not_ allowed to complain about anyone's driving."

"Bella," he pleaded, "Please."

I was ready for this though. I didn't look him in the eye, so I didn't get the full intensity of his begging. His honey voice almost inclined me to lift my foot off the pedal, but this forgetfulness that my recklessness was inducing was just too intoxicating.

I heard him sigh angrily. "I hope you have good insurance."

I didn't see any of it happening. All I knew was that Edward had left the vehicle, and was nowhere to be seen. And though I still had my foot on the gas, my truck was undoubtedly decelerating.

Glancing in my rearview mirror, I saw him. He had actually physically jumped out of a vehicle moving at 60 miles per hour, and then stopped it with his bare hands.

Giving up, I took my foot off the pedal and closed my eyes. I didn't change my position even after I'd come to a complete stop. I didn't change it even after I heard the door being wrenched open.

"Don't. Do. That. Again." Edward was livid. He picked me up and carried me over to the passenger's seat. "I'm driving," he tersely informed me.

Over my dead body. As soon as he closed the door and began to walk away, I opened the passenger's side door and got out.

This was the first time I had taken notice of my surroundings. I had driven us straight out to a place commonly referred to as The Middle of Nowhere.

We were surrounded by Olympic Peninsula rainforest, on some sort of mountain. The road was indeed winding, probably not the best place for a clumsy, accident magnet to be driving 60 mph on, but it would be a cold day in hell when I admitted it.

I started briskly walking on up the road, following the white line. I wasn't sure why I was so angry, and that only made me madder. This was better than the depression though.

I could hear his footsteps behind me. "Bella, stop. You're being absurd."

I kept walking.

He grabbed my wrist and whipped me around to face him. "What's wrong?" he demanded. "Why are you doing this? You could have gotten yourself killed!"

His eyes were black fire.

"Well, maybe if I got in a bad enough car wreck, you'd see the light and change me!" I yelled back.

He looked mortified, appalled that I could even come up with such a heinous plan. Frankly, so was I.

I averted my gaze. "I'm sorry…I'm just mad."

His eyes softened, and he removed his hand from my wrist, lifting my chin up to meet his eyes again.

That forgetful bubble broke once more, and two tears leaked out of my eyes.

Before he could, I wiped them away. "I am so _sick_ of crying! That's one thing I am definitely not going to miss."

His features twisted in sympathy.

He grabbed both my hands and brushed his cold lips across them. "Who are you angry at?" he asked gently.

Suddenly, it hit me – the reason I was mad. I looked away again. "Myself."

His hands were playing with mine, rubbing circles into my palms and toying with my fingers. "And I thought I was masochistic. Bella, you can't blame yourself."

I begged to differ. "It was my blood. That was the reason he came. The reason Kate and Leah died. I am the reason all the werewolves are crippled now! That was me."

"Look at me," Edward demanded patiently. "Bella, look at me."

I was reluctant to do so. If I did look into his deep orbs, I was afraid that I might just believe him. Even so, I finally did as he asked.

"You didn't choose that," he said, "It isn't your fault that your blood is the way it is." He lifted a stray lock of hair out of my face, "It's just that you're entirely too special for your own good."

"But Leah…" I started.

"Died trying to protect you," he finished. "She knew what she was getting into. She wanted you to live."

I sighed. No matter what the right answer was, Edward had once again dazzled me into having his opinion.

That didn't stop the regret or grief. Muted it some, but couldn't fully eclipse it. I doubted anything ever would.

I could see some split-second decision light up Edward's orbs.

He pulled me to him. "We're getting married," he growled.

Laughing, I threw my arms around his neck. "Thank you, Captain Obvious. That would be what this ring on my finger means."

Deep in his chest, I could hear his chuckle. "No, Bella. I mean we are getting married now."

I could feel him tense. He expected me to unleash a slew of reasons why we shouldn't do such an abysmal thing. However, I only shrugged. "Black tux, white gown, say 'I do', kiss, everyone goes home happy." I moved my head back to give him a pointed look, "_Very_ happy. Ecstatic even."

He was still tense. "I mean, with time so blatantly against us, I just think it would be…wait…you agree?!"

I nodded. "I want you to be mine."

Slowly, a smile spread across his face. "Vegas?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Alice," I replied, "I promised her. One week early shouldn't make that big of a difference."

**A/N: Phew...writing like a fiend over here. And not to be picky...but...errr...this story miraculously has 34 favorites and 51 alerts...so why am i getting 11 reviews per chapter? I'll keep writing nonetheless, but it just gives me more of an incentive to write. Really kicks in the enthusiasm. Review plz. CC appreciated. Everything appreciated really, minus flames. Keep the lighters away. Neways, i thought it was high time for some edward bella light, fluff time. As stephenie meyer would put it. "heaven, right smack dab in the middle of hell", and hell is on its way guyz. Don't you fret.**


	20. Chapter Sixteen ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer: **NOOOOO...for the umpteenth time. Ya know what's strange though, when I write this stuff, I feel like I do. Edward and Bella get inside my head and just do and say things and then I record them...it's weird. Oh, lookie, ROBERT PATTISON PICTURES ON THE INTERNET!!

_**THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU...Words can't describe.**_

_**Bella1680: Thanks...Will do.**_

_**Nobodyparticular: I knowwww...i loved writing that part. He can stop my truck anytime...(sighs dreamily) O and THEY KICKED A!! GO WAYNE!**_

_**Shannon: Muchos gracias. How long did it take...out of curiosity.**_

_**InLoveWithYouForever: Why yes, Edward, I am...lol. That's quite alright. I was just feeling unapreciated there for a moment or two. Thanks for reviewing. O and here, (hands you a cushion) put that on top of them...nevermind that the needles go through the fabric...and you might want to get some neosporin for those puncture wounds.**_

_**Munu: IIII reeallllyyyy want Emmett to do the ceremony...sadly, well, just read the chapter. Alice has a mind of her own. Thanks. You inspired a bit in this chap.**_

_**Twilightfan9748: sadly no...two chaps away. Maybe one. Thanks for the review.**_

_**XCullenlovex: Thank you, thank you very much...elvis style. Unfortunately, they're not out of the woods yet.**_

_**Ten past midnight: and WHYYYY exactly have you not posted this brilliance that is your Edward Bella Skirt Bicycle Vegas story. Are they wearing kilt skirts or just...minis? Details, midnight, details! O and thanks...i think. Sorry for getting your hopes up...lol**_

_**Meya Rose: You wanna know something. Somehow, your review makes me feel the specialist. Watching you leave comments from one word to emoticons to full sentences...REALLY, nonsarcastically makes my day. Much thanks.**_

_**Thefuturemrs.edwardcullen: omg...CREATIVE your story that i just read is very. Sorry that came out a bit jumbled. What's your email? It didn't show up. Haha cough long cough indeed. THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU MAKE MY LIFE...once again and have you, perchance, happened to have read East of Eden?**_

_**SS: Thanks. I like specific complements if that makes any sense. ALICE THE WEDDING PLANNER-ZILLA...edward has just realeased her onto an unsuspecting fictional world. Dun dun dun. Ur right. You guys help oodles. No idea how many ideas you've given me.**_

_**Kersicca: wow. If i ever write a book or song or make candy bars...i think i might- dedicate/name them after- it - to you. That was the best review ive ever gotten. I literaly hugged my computer screen for a week...Pretend like it was you. That review made up for all the ones i havent gotten...if that makes any sense. ILY. Lol stephenie meyer incarnate. You really think so? When you're a vampire, don't eat me, okay?. I AM STILL ON LOCKDOWN> FRED IS A SINGING PERVE. Where the hell is pjotter? When he gets here, I don't care if he can get me out, I'm going to strangle him with the rags and flamingo feathers that i get for bedding in this joint. About the kate thing, read authors note. How, exactly, would i mail you? Email address? Is there some secret way of doing this that i don't know about?! Carrier pigeons maybe?**_

_**INVX: those smirfs... do not. I repeat. DO NOT give them sugar under any circumstances. Watch it. They'll wheedle it out of you. Hasn't larry gotten there yet? I put blinders on him before i set him out. He tends to get sidetracked by trees, but maybe he found a nice cedar and got distracted. LARRY GO TO INVX> glad you enjoyed the skittles. THANKS!! ILY... And bouncy rooms have to be infinitely better than being in a prison cell with an nsync singing pervert named fred in the middle of lake erie...(read mine and kersica's convo...be afraid)**_

_**Em: Mathew...ooooo maybe ill get purple in my hair now. They stuffed phillip in a big box with lots of fluffy peanuts, so he arrived half suffocated but safe. I realllyyyyy want to put him in my story somewhere. Maybe in off the job. With your permission of course. AND btw, phillip is turning out to be gymnastics challenged. His real talent turns about to be playing the harmonica. It's actually quite annoying. He flies over my town playing his harmonica. He's like a flying purple ball of western misery. THANKS AGAIN!! LY**_

Chapter 16

No mater how much I nagged at Edward, trying to beat into his thick head the fact that I was sane again and was perfectly willing to comply with the speed limit set down by our great town, Edward simply refused to let me drive.

As we pulled up to the Cullen's place, I was still sulking in the passenger's seat.

Edward had warned me beforehand about the emotional onslaught I would experience when I walked through the door. Carlisle was still feeling overwhelmingly guilty about the man Josius had forced him to kill. Robert Jenkinson was his name. 42. The obituary had said that he had been brutally mauled by a bear. Thinking about the extent of damage Josius had made Carlisle inflict the amount of damage Josius could have made Edward inflict on _me_, made me shudder.

Jasper was apparently channeling this guilt, along with everyone else's and his own. Edward told me that he had played a major part in Leah's death along with Rosalie.

_THEYYYY didn't kill anyone_, my mind reprimanded. In my opinion, Josius had been the sole reason behind any fatalities.

Anyway, I couldn't see why Jasper just didn't take a break for a while and leave. It would probably be better for everyone.

When I asked Edward about this, he only shrugged.

As he shifted my truck into park, I asked him one question that had been weighing on my mind. "Did the Denali's leave?"

"Most of them," he replied ambiguously, a dark undercurrent surging behind his words.

I was nearly about to press him for more when I was abruptly grabbed by two cold hands. Oh, no – Alice.

"What are you thinking?" she cried. "Moving the wedding up to tomorrow? That's absurd. Ludicrous. That's ridiculous. That's..."

"Necessary," Edward supplied curtly.

Her eyes were amber slits. She had clearly fed since I last saw her. "Necessary? I'll tell you what's necessary! Catering and decorations and bridesmaid dresses and time," she counted the things off on her fingers, "and little bags with rice in them. The invitations have already been mailed. What am I supposed tot tell the entire town of Forks when they show up next weak expecting a wedding? Oh, sorry, the bride and groom went loopy and you missed it?"

I should have known that she would have a meltdown.

"The only two things we really need are Bella and I," Edward countered, coming to stand beside me supportively.

"And there is plenty of time to cancel," I added, "The only other people I really want there are Renee and Charlie. I can call my mom and tell her. She can catch a late flight."

I could tell by the way Alice's eyes moved that she was scanning the future, seeing if her words had made a dent in our decision. "We still need a priest," she grudgingly informed us finally.

I smiled a little. Tomorrow I would be a married woman.

My mind tried unsuccessfully to wrap around that little tidbit with total and complete joy. Oh, I was ready. I just wasn't necessarily happy about being ready. Marriage still equated death sentence in my mind. Ignore the pun.

Muttering something about how she was going to throw me off a cliff as soon as I was changed, Alice stalked away.

I glanced at Edward. "We getting married?" I asked him. Surely he would have seen Alice's mind.

He nodded, his onyx eyes unfathomably deep. "It's going to be beautiful. You're going to be beautiful."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Cheater. You're not supposed to see the wedding dress before the wedding."

He glanced down at me with surprise. "I thought you didn't care."

"Yeah, well, that was before I got excited about this whole mess."

His lips twisted into my all-time favorite grin. "It only took you eight months, four days, fourteen hours, and three near-death experiences since my initial proposal. On the day before the wedding."

"Not that you've been counting down or anything," I teased.

He shrugged, "You only get married once."

"Unless you're a polygamist."

He snickered. "Well, _I_ for one am only getting married once."

"Yeah, you better," I muttered, beginning to walk towards the house.

"Remember what I told you," he murmured, right before he opened the door.

Remember, I did. Prepared for it, I was not. Unwelcome water droplets cascaded down my cheeks as soon as I crossed the threshold. The Cullen house was like an oversized onion. Guilt for everything I had ever done wrong in my life consumed me.

Disgustingly clingy Bella reinhabited my body, and I latched onto Edward's cotton shirt.

"I'm sorry!" I sobbed, "for not being excited about the wedding. And for kissing Jake. And for stealing your jacket!"

I was a volcano of tears.

He patted my back. "It's all right Bella. I've forgiven you for all that...Wait. You stole my jacket?"

"It...it...it smelled good!" I wailed.

I could feel Edward chuckle.

Burying my face deeper into his side, I sobbed harder. "This...isn't...isn't funny!"

"You're right," he replied, tone suddenly sobered. "It's not. Jasper."

I knew that speaking was as good as yelling in the Cullen house.

I felt a swift rush of air, and then heard a door slamming. I felt bad for running Jasper out of his own house, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't grateful. As quickly as they had come, the waterworks stopped.

I glared at Edward. "Why weren't _you_ affected?" I demanded.

"I suppose you could say I've built up a sort of immunity to it. It still influences me. It just takes more time for it to wear me down. Now..." he started, raising one perfect eyebrow, "my jacket?"

I could feel the blood rising to my cheek.

"I've been wondering where that went," he pondered aloud.

"Well, you're going to wonder some more, because I'm hiding it and you're never getting it back."

Truthfully, I wasn't joking. When Edward had to go hunting with his brothers, I had developed an uncharacteristically gooey habit of sleeping with that jacket of his.

"Well after tomorrow," he reminded, "all my clothes will technically be yours."

I stood up on my tiptoes to kiss his nose. "And _that_ Edward, is why I'm marrying you. So I can smell you whenever I want to."

"Glad to know it's not because you're madly in love with me and don't know what you'd do without me," he said sarcastically.

I pretended to contemplate for a second. "I guess that, too."

He rolled his eyes, then pulled out his sleek cell phone. "It's time," he said ominously.

Glaring, honestly dreading what I was about to do, I snatched it out of his hands and dialed Renee's number.

"Mom..." I started tentatively when the dial tone stopped.

"Who is this?"

"Bella...Listen, can you catch a flight to Forks tonight?" I asked, using the most innocent sounding voice I could muster.

"Is it an emergency?" Her tone was worried.

Looking at Edward, I replied, "Sortof...Depends on what your definition of emergency is...and on – on whether or not you want to see your daughter get married."

I said the words quickly. The pool took less time to get used to if you just cannonballed in.

"Isabella Marie Swan! I'm not even ready. I can't believe you would do this. It's bad enough that your getting married this soon as it is, but..."

I held the receiver away from my ear, not keen on hearing the rest of her scolding. So maybe, I had forgotten to take in account that the pool in question was at 1,000 degrees below 0, and no matter how much one stayed in, no matter how one got in, they were going to get hypothermia...and then get very, very, very angry at whoever pushed them in the first place.

"Mom," I snapped angrily, putting the phone back to my ear, "I'm getting married tomorrow, like it or not. If everything else hasn't, _you_ are not going to change my mind. So, if you want to see your only daughter's wedding, be here tomorrow at six-thirty. Love you. Bye."

Then I flipped the phone close with a snap, and handed it back to my day-away husband.

Edward looked at me funny. "That was a little harsh," he said slowly.

I knew that. He didn't have to remind me. I sighed. "I know, but that's what had to be done."

"Come on," he grabbed my hand, beginning to pull me up the stairs.

We headed towards Carlisle's office. Inside I could hear raised voices. "Just when we actually need those dogs, they can't help us," I could hear Emmett yell.

Edward hurriedly opened the door. Immediately, Emmett and Carlisle stopped whatever conversation they were having. Whatever it was, they must have been engrossed in it. They actually appeared slightly flustered...well, as flustered as it is possible for vampires to look.

"What do you need the werewolves for?" I asked suspiciously.

Edward answered for them. "It's not important."

I was about to demand answers, but Edward once again interceded me. "Carlisle, we were wondering if you would do us a favor."

My brows pulled together. "We?"

I'd ask him about the wolf thing later.

He ignored me. "I know it's a bit sudden and untraditional, but since we moved the date up, we seem to have a lack of available priests, and seeing as you're the only one in the family with a license, we were wondering if..."

He didn't have to finish. "I'd love to," Carlisle answered. He was beaming.

"Awww man," Emmett cried, "Can't I do it?"

"When pigs fly," Edward replied tersely.

"Can you?" I asked my almost-brother, more out of curiosity than actually wanting him to perform the ceremony. Like Edward said, when pigs fly. The twelfth of never on the day that pigs fly.

Emmett grinned, "Hello people. It's called the Internet."

"Emmett, they are not getting married by a guy who got his license off Ebay," Alice said suddenly, before turning to look at me. "Bella. Bacheolerettes party. Now!"

Who was I to fight with that demanding stare?

"Oh yeah, bro," Emmett told Edward. "I almost forgot. Let the misery begin."

I was violently dragged out the door to my doom.

As Alice tugged me down the paneled hallway, the shock of how quickly everything was back to normal hit.

But remembering the emotional attack earlier, I shook my head at this thought. Nothing was back to normal. Everyone was just putting on appearances.

Right now, I was a little angry with Alice for dragging me away from my fiancee. I still had so many questions. About the honeymoon and the change. Where I would get the money to pay for the two hand-sized dents in the back of my truck...And why the hell did they need werewolves all of a sudden? Which reminded me...I _had_ to see Jake one last time before tomorrow.

When my feet hit the bottom stair, I spied a persona non grata, or should I say vampira non grata, standing near the opposite wall. The mouth of this river of problems that had escalated in the past week.

"Tanya."

"Make it quick," Alice spat to her. "We have things to do."

She approached me slowly, having the good sense to avert her eyes in shame.

"I honestly never meant to endanger any of this coven," she started. The words sounded forced though, and I hadn't missed how she put emphasis on "this coven". As in, not me.

I glared. I wouldn't say it was okay.

"And then, Kate. We had to burn her...she was beyond help..." For once, she actually sounded sorrowful. "Truly, I...apologize," she ground out. I knew that she wasn't sorry for anything she'd done to me though.

I nodded. "Thank you...for – saving him."

She gave me a puzzled look. "Him?"

"He wouldn't have lived if I hadn't."

Alice tapped the invisible watch on her wrist. "Time's up."

Holding on to her last strands of dignity, Tanya held her chin up and prissed out of the house.

"Alice," I groaned, turning to look at her, "Do we _have_ to do this?"

"Don't. Start." She said acidly.

A/N: i don't know what you call this...filler? but there were some important clues in there if you knew where to look. Phew...anyways. Thanks for the support. So, I really just can't resist writing about Edward/Bella moments. The idea was that Kate was damaged beyond repair. Even if they had put her back together, she would have been strange looking, which to a succubus, would be a living hell...or well...I guess an unliving hell. So, they just put her out of her misery. And I just realized. I haven't told you almost anything about the malinaught and Irina. Here I am, walking around with this whole story in my head about them, thinking you all know it too, but then you don't. I'll have to get to that eventually. Also, do you guys like the reviewer shout outs, or would you rather i messaged you personally??


	21. Chapter Seventeen ACTUALLY

Alright people

**Disclaimer:** I BOYCOTT YOU!!

_I'm begging you. On my knees here. BEGGING you to review No More Bears...or at least read it. It's sort of a...shall we say sequel to most every story on here in fandom. PLEASSEEEEE...Neways, thank you as always. LOVE YOU GUYZ WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL is more precise...Moving right along – _

**Shannon: Sheesh, 5 hrs. I wonder how long it's taken me to write...hmmmm. neways, thanks for the review. Ly**

**Euphoria Falls: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR READING NO MORE BEARS> XOXOXOXOXOXO, infinity. That is so coooolll that your in Australia. In the desert. You know what I get. SNOW! Frickin snow! Neways. Yes, well, about phillip, we were coloring easter eggs the other day, you see, and my great aunt franny, she's blind and well... phillip is pastel purple now. It's kindof tragic really. Lol. I WISH phillip had started a swing band. So much cooler than that harmonica. Anywho, I did smash his harmonica... he cried for a while, but then i gave him a panini and that made it all better.**

**Minimeyer: I DO INDEED LOVE CAPSLOCK. IT IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD. PERHAPS EVEN BETTER THAN SLICED BREAD. OF COURSE THATS NOT REALLY THAT HARD...YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS BETTER THAN SLICED BREAD?? **_**TOASTED BREAD. **_

**SS: I got play doh off ebay once. 100 cans...for 99 cents. I KID YOU NOT! 99 CENTS! Thanks again.**

**Tenpastmidnight: I don't know why, or when, or how, or where...but the image of Edward in a kilt...on a bicycle...in the rain. Is – SEXY! Thanks for that mental image. But ummm... Esme wasn't in the chapter i don't think. Which emotions?**

**Nobodyparticular: lol I AM YODA!! Funny, you are. Thank you exceedingly, I do.**

**INVX: Larry came back, unfortunately. I'm going to TRYYY this again. Only this time. The floor plans and key will be in his left nostril, and some smirf repellant will be in his right. BREATHE THROUGH UR MOUTH YOU STUPID DOG> Wow, you are a very talented foot typer. I commend you... Thanks again.**

**KobrahEdo: Sighs dreamily. ME too. My life would be complete if I could only have some part of that man's clothing.**

**MeyaRose: YAYAAYAY...glad you liked it.**

**KerSSica: hah. Spelled it right. GUINEA PIGS, GO TO kerSSica! NOW! O and lol about the vamp thing. I'll send you Em's now-purple flying llama she gave me. Fly Phillip, FLY! He likes harmonicas. And im in jail because I held the CVS cashier at gunpoint for antiitch cream when you cursed me...Wow, this conversation is CRAZY...i feel like we could be super friends if you didn't live in the Netherlands. I love it. And if only the werewolves weren't crippled now...if only... mushrooms out of my arse?? That sounds like a fate worse than death. Well you know what mushroom girl, I curse you with being a reindeer. FOREVER!! A reindeer with hands. So you can still review...Expecto REINDERROS! Tehehehe.**

**ThrushflightEdward'sstalker: Glad your back. PRAISE THE LORD HALLELUJAH! Neways, i love vjgm's stories. The barfly one...man alive. **

**Keyt: oh yes keyt... mwuhhahahah...yes i can. YAY NEW REVIEWER> lol. Muchos gracias.**

**Jjrenee85: NOTHER NEW REVIEWER. I love writing edward light and fluffy scenes. They warm my heart. Lol. Thank you very much. **

**Lollie-rox-my-sox: thanks very much, my friend. Fun penname.**

**Thefuturemrs.edwardcullen: I LOVE YOU...I think you get the reviewer of the year award. For reveiwing everything ive written and being funny and leaving long reviews. Here have...the world. I am queen of it by the way. (See one of my disclaimers. Forgot which one) EAST OF EDEN IS THE BESTEST! Changed my life. Man am I cheesy or what? What about speak?**

Chapter 17

I glared at Alice. This was going to be a longggg night.

And not just because of this bachealourettes party she had falsely decided was a good idea. It was sure to sweep through like a tsunami. Debri in the form of oodles of wrapping paper and countless unnecessary imported gifts would litter everything.

It would also be a long night, as it had been a long day, because of the two words that kept echoing through my mind, refusing to let it get any rest at all. Not that I deserved any...

Kate. Leah. Kate. Leah. Kate. Leah – dead, gone, finished. _And it's all your fault._ Edward's speech be damned. My head was all too ready to disagree with his "this wasn't your fault" philosophy.

"Alice," I told my slave driver.

"This had better be something NON-whiny."

"Don't worry. I'm over that. Mostly. Unless you plan on taking pictures. Then we are seriously going to have some..."

"Bella," she interceded. "I'll take all the pictures I want to. I bought four disposable cameras a month ago just for the occasion. Are you really going to ruin it for me?" She was pouting.

I tried to look away in time, before my annoying pout-susceptible conscience reared its stupid, gullible head, but it was too late. She'd beat me with her dumb lower lip.

"NO," I finally admitted, albeit reluctantly. "I'll even smile for 13 percent of them."

"25," she said.

"13."

"23?"

"14."

"20. Or I'll permanently botox one onto your face," she commanded.

I sighed. "Fine."

She beamed. "Now, about Charlie..."

I looked at her with a flabbergasted expression on my face. "How'd you know?"

She tapped her head, and then eyeballed me like I was the biggest moron on the planet.

Oh right - psychic.

"Well, I need to tell him," I said.

"In person?"

"That'd be best... You think it would be a good idea to bring Edward?"

"I think it would be a bad idea _not_ to bring him," she suggested. "Edward!"

He was down the stairs like a rocket, looking horrified. I guess Emmett had started his bachelor's party early.

In his mad rush to leave the house, he couldn't be bothered with petty human things, walking at a normal pace for one. I was carried out of the house. Before I had time to form a coherent thought, I was sitting in the seat of his Volvo.

The door shut, and I could see an Edward-colored blur move around to the driver's side. Then, the blur stopped, thought better of something, and returned to my side.

In a flash of chrome, my seatbelt was buckled, and he was all of sudden sitting at the wheel starting the car. "Safety first," he muttered.

I snickered. "You know, after all I've been through, it wouldn't surprise me at all if something like not wearing a seatbelt would be how I actually died."

He smiled...which was – odd. "I think your blatant lack of mobility skills would get you first."

"Gravity loathes, despises, and in all other ways _hates_ me."

Pulling out of the drive, he shrugged. "Can't say I disagree."

Forks had been slacking on its reputation lately, being all sunny and whatnot. Finally, it was back to its old ways. The clouds were letting down misty drizzle.

After that, it was silent for a while.

Leah. Kate. Leah. Kate. Leah. Kate.

As it turned out, the silence wasn't very silent at all. Those two names, those two futures that had been lost for all time constantly scrolled through my head like a marquee.

I took it for a while, feeling like I needed to be punished for my sins, the sins that Edward kept denying I'd committed, which only made them all the more worse.

Tears seeped into my orbs. I closed my eyes and tried to blink them away before Edward took notice.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't care what came out of my mouth, as long as it took my mind off of everything.

"Nice weather."

Edward looked at the sky, which was pouring buckets of rain over the already wet...I could say ground, but that would be inaccurate. The ground was no longer visible for the thick blanket of fog swallowing everything.

Then he looked at me suspiciously. "If you're a whale maybe..."

"I am," I teased, before proceeding to do a top-notch Dory impersonation. "Helllllooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuooo."

Yes, indeed I could sink that low to get back inside my bubble.

And for the second time that day, I received the "you are a moron" stare.

"Finding Nemo is a classic," I defended.

"Singing turtles. Dancing seagulls. Bubble infatuated fish..." he started. "Not exactly my cup of tea."

I gasped. "So you _did_ watch it?"

"Didn't need to," he replied. "Saw the entire thing through the minds of clown-fish loving elementary school kids."

"That's still not the same."

He lowered his eyebrows. "Bella...you're being...odd...today. Well, odder."

So, he was going to bring it up. My Disney/Pixar disguise had failed miserably, been burnt to a crisp.

Luckily, we had arrived at Charlie's by now.

I all but leapt out of the car and sprinted towards the door; it wouldn't appear weird thanks to the rain. I was suddenly glad that Forks had chosen today to start acting like itself.

Yet at the same time, my escape was also my trap. _Out of the frying pan, and into the fire_, I thought wryly, turning the doorknob.

"Dad," I called.

"Isabella Swan, just _where_ have you been exactly?" Charlie's face was a nice shade of red. My blushes had some serious competition.

Uh, oh. I'd forgotten about earlier, forgotten about how mad I'd made my father.

"Just driving Dad, honestly. And then we went over to Edward's house to see Alice," I said meekly. "You can call them if you want to."

The bright red dulled to a peachy-pink hue. "Still, Bells, just taking off like that. You didn't even take your cell phone!"

I bowed my head.

Edward took some of the heat for me. "It's just been stressful lately, Sir."

Well, wasn't that the understatement of the year.

"I just needed some time to think. All's well that ends well?" I suggested.

Charlie must not have been keen on fighting with me, because he sat back down on the couch and sighed, defeated.

Now came the hard part. "Umm...Dad? There's something I need to tell you..."

"Renee already did," he said quietly. There was a strange tone in his voice, a sadness.

I rushed over to hug him. "I'm sorry, it's just that...well, a week won't hurt."

His sad eyes were unhinging me. I was just a handful of heartbeats away from canceling, when Edward walked up beside me.

"I always knew it would happen," Charlie said, "I just wasn't prepared, I guess. I've been putting it off and putting it off, and..." he looked at me sheepishly, "not being supportive."

I shook my head. "You're not supposed to be supportive. You're supposed to be the one cleaning his shotgun when my fiancee walks through the door."

He smiled a little. "Well anyway, now that it's staring me in the face..." Charlie trailed off. There weren't any tears – yet.

He pulled me to him in a hug. "I'm going to miss you."

That hurt. My heart was throbbing because I'd like to say that I was only going to be around the corner if he needed me, but I couldn't. I'd be in Antarctica, ferociously controlling the world's penguin populations – with my teeth.

I hugged him back tighter. I really would miss him, but I didn't have to worry about saying goodbye until tomorrow.

Later, Edward, Charlie, and I were all three sitting on the couch. Charlie was engrossed in his football game.

Edward and I pretended to be, but were actually playing footsies and taking turns squeezing each other's hands.

Taking a sip of his Coke, Charlie turned the channel. "Let's see what's on the news."

A lady in a white blouse was standing under an umbrella, microphone in hand, forest as her background.

"This has been the second bear attack this week. Officials will be laying traps all day long. It is strongly advised that anyone living near these areas stay away from the forest. Now, this man standing behind me." The camera angle changed. "Your son was Leah's friend?"

She gestured to Billy.

He had tears in his eyes. "Yeah, she was over at the house a lot. The whole lot of em." He sniffled. "They were like brothers and sisters. Like children to me."

My hand was white from gripping Edward's. Tears stung the corners of my own eyes.

The anchorwoman deemed him not able to go on, for she pulled her microphone back and continued with her story with annoying indifference.

"Oh my God," Charlie dropped the remote. "Leah Clearwater? It couldn't be."

He was staring dumbfounded at the TV...now on a commercial for scooter chairs. So, was I. It was different when it was just announced like that.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered. To whom, I wasn't sure.

I draped my arm around Charlie's shoulder and rested my head on him.

Later that day, Edward drove me to the hospital to visit Jake in total silence. The anchorwoman had completely burst my bubble. Not a trace was left.

I was finally just accepting it. That didn't dull the pain, though.

The only sound in the car was the constant squeak of the windshield wipers.

Arriving at the hospital, Edward pulled up to the drop-off section.

"Aren't you coming in?"

He shook his head. "All things considered, I don't think that would be such a good idea."

I nodded. I really wanted him with me, but I wouldn't force him. Then, I shut the door.

Walking into the facility, I could smell that clean linen smell that always accompanies hospitals. I asked the lady at the desk where I could find one Jacob Black.

"Take the East Wing elevators up to the second floor, hitch a right, and walk through the double doors. Room 216."

Easy enough. What wasn't going to be easy were the words I'd have to say to him.

"Jake," I said when I caught sight of him.

He covered almost every inch of the hospital bed. If they weren't held in some kind of sling, his feet would have been dangling off the end.

"Jake?" I asked again.

He didn't respond, being unconscious. I sighed. I hadn't considered this setback.

Pulling up a chair, I sat beside him, He didn't have a shirt on. Gauze was wrapped around his upper torso. Ribs must have been broken, too. I winced.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, grabbing his hand. I didn't know what else to say. I wish he would wake up.

"Bella?" a familiar voice behind me floated to my ears.

I turned around. "Carlisle?"

His eyes were dark, the bags under them purple. He had put off feeding so that he could take care of his patients.

The doctor strolled into the room and injected something into Jake's IV tubes.

"He'll be out for a while," he informed me. "Pain medication."

I nodded. "He's going to be okay though, right?"

"Fit as a fiddle in a few days." His lips twisted into a sad smile. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for tomorrow?"

I rose. "Whatever you say, Alice."

He chuckled as I began to leave. I took one last look at the werewolf on the bed.

Outside, I spotted the silver Volvo immediately.

The first words out of my mouth when I slid into my seat were, "I don't think we should get married."

Edward's head whipped around. His eyes blazed.

I held up my hands. "Tomorrow, Edward," I corrected. "I don't think we should get married tomorrow."

As he pulled out of the spot, he quickly recovered. "Tomorrow's as good as any other day."

"That wasn't your attitude a month ago. I just want it to be at a completely happy time, you know? Don't you want it to be special?"

"What did Jacob say to you?" he snapped.

"Nothing," I snapped back. "He wasn't even conscious for crying out loud. This is _my_ opinion!"

Gently, the back of his hand caressed the side of my face. "I'm sorry," he said, "I just find myself incredibly impatient when I'm around you."

"Wish you would've felt like that earlier," I grumbled, thinking about the 'bed' incident that night in his house.

He laughed.

"But seriously, Edward. There's something going on. I'm not stupid. The werewolves and the Malinaught deal? What's happening?"

His grip tightened. "Nothing."

"Liar."

"You won't like it."

**A/N: I apologize if this chapter was boredom in the flesh...well in the ink...that's not right either...in the electrons?! Anywho, there's this PLACE I'm trying to get to. And it's turning out to be an exceedingly LONGGG journey to get to this PLACE. Grrrr... At the same time, I'm trying not to rush it. So...you see my predicament! I might not post for a few days, so that I can write bout this PLACE. Then, I'll go back and write the umm... journey chapters so to speak, and you'll get updates like lightning. Now, click on the little blue link that says "Lily Turtle", scroll down, and R&R No More Bears...plz.**


	22. Chapter Eighteen ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer:** STRIKE!! Till i get cookies :D

**Ten past midnight: lol, that's quite allright. I dialed the wrong number today. Some Italian kid answered, Anyways, I'd read that story all the time. TEHEHEHE. Kilts are fun.**

**Shannon: I know right. I mean, I love bella, but sometimes i just want to STRANGLE the kid. MARRIAGE TO EDWARD CULLEN...YOU DON"T SAY NO TO THAT, but neways. She did in my head, and i had to write it down.**

**Em: lol, glad i made ya laugh. Because Leah was dumb...no jk, because I just figured she would be the most volatile, and unprepared, so she would probably be the one to get killed. GAY LLAMAS!! Interesting, yet disturbing, thought. I looked up broken hill yesterday bc i was bored. It was so PRETTTYYY. U know what you can do to see what were I live looks like. LOOK AT A SHEET OF PAPER. STUPID SNOW.**

**Kerssica: Bachelor's party: right, getting to that. Some obstacles have to be jumped first. Stupid pond. At least there are whales in the pond...that makes it sortof better. Neway, issues, my friend. You have them...like an old magazine. Lol. Join the club tho. YAY NO MORE ITCH. Tell santa that I would like a sledgehammer for Christmas...so I can beat the strange individuals mentioned in this chap. with it. HAHAHA...NO ONE LIKES KERSSICA, reindeer edition. So, how's that working out for you? Low self esteem issues any? Here call 4563212454...Suicidal reindeer hotline. Leah's funeral might have to be...well, you'll see. FLY KERSSICA...FLY...tell phillip i love him. I'll have a harmonica waiting for him when he gets here to my 5468716541687498 cell block number. Like i said, BIGGG prison on lake erie. THANKS AGAIN.**

**Gwen: Thanks...i think. Why not?**

**Minimeyer: Peanut butter is the bestest ever!! Especially on saltine crackers. GO JIFFand thanks**

**Xloopiloox: I Like your version of spelling yooh. So i will now spell yooh that way also...yooh great reviewer yooh. Lol thanks yoohre comment made my day. Yooh are a great individual and yooh have a super fun pen name. It reminds me of a roller coaster. Lol**

**Shadow-wolves: patience is a virtue...lol. not that i have ne or nething. Thanks for the review. This story is like the cliffe king of the world. Sorry. Didn't mean for it to be that way actually. Thanks for the luck too. I need it.**

**Mattybabe: YAYAYYYAYAYAY!! Did you bring me back a panda?? (wags tail...if was a dog). Yes, Josius is dead. You people beat it out of me. So much for suspense. How was the good old Orient? **

**Mrsedwardcullen1714: Why couldn't he walk? If there was some reason in the book that I forgot...OOOOO...kindly look the other way and whistle. Haha. Awwww...Alice's puppy face. Bane of my existense. Gets me every time.**

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen: Speak the book. By someone...forget who. I don't know. I was just thinking of electrons at the moment. Lol. Been there done that, the mom takes you to a shrink bc you laugh maniacally when there's no one around...hmmmm...he was a nice guy. Glad I could make your dream come true. Thanks for the review. LY**

**ThrushflightEdward'sstalker: You my friend, have an exceedingly long pen name. Finger cramp...neways, you mean you don't have the time in a bad way, as in its too long?**

**Nobodyparticular: I saw an outhouse today...i thought of you. Lol. Thanks. Dory ISSSS amazing, don't you know. **

**Elaine Blows: Your comments made my life...THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH!! Im kindof tired of writing thank you. Man, someone pass me a thesaurus. **

**Jjrenee: A bear? As in a ferocious, rather large, brown beast with teeth and hair...Google it. Sry bout the gravity issue. **

Chapter 18

He insisted that this story of his be told somewhere other than the hospital parking lot – something about needing to go somewhere I could yell my lungs out without being lectured by security. Just such a place, according to Edward, was the abandoned parking lot of an off-the-beaten-path consignment shop that had gone out of business some time ago. The letters on the decrepit sign were faded, so I couldn't tell what the name used to be.

Even with the parking lot being entirely deserted, Edward insisted on pulling in perfectly between the white lines of his chosen space near the storm drain. He turned off the engine. Rain was pattering all around us, making me feel cut off from the rest of the world, leaving Edward and I inside our own private sanctuary. Thunder boomed in the distance.

"Fourteen miles away," he mumbled absentmindedly.

I knew the time between lightning strikes and thunder could be used to determine how far away the lightning was, but I hadn't seen the strike, and I wondered if that was how he really did it. My bet was no – once again, I was amazed by Edward's supermanness.

"So..." I started, when he remained speechless for a time, "is this the part where you sell me to the Mafia or what?"

He shot me a shifty glance out of the corner of his eye. "You caught me," he said, tone dripping with sarcasm.

"It's a creepy place...just saying."

Turning towards me, he averted his golden eyes and timidly lifted my left hand. "Bella, I'm sick and tired of keeping things from you. I do it too much, I know. I just want to apologize and say that I'm not going to do it anymore, starting now."

"I knew it," I groaned.

His brows pulled together.

"There's another woman." My tone was dead serious, right before I started laughing.

Edward's eyes narrowed. "I'm serious."

"As usual."

An exasperated look fell over his features.

Immediately, I sobered. "Sorry. I'll be good. Please continue."

He took a deep breath from vestigial lungs. "Irina really opened up a can of worms with the Malinaught."

I raised the hand he wasn't holding, like we were in school. "Question."

His eyebrow arched. "Yes?"

"Who are the Malinaught again?"

"No one is really sure what their names are...or what they look like. Irina, well, she was the first one to live to tell the tale."

"Not the kind of people you'd have tea with on Sundays...Gotcha."

His fingertips were playing with my engagement ring, twisting it this way and that, brushing over the sparkling stone. "They're more – mischievous than they are murderers though. They'll possess people, occasionally drive them mad, but they keep to themselves mostly. They love privacy...well, except when they're bothered."

"But _what_ are they?" I asked.

He gave me a funny look. "Ready to add yet another mythical creature to your index."

Here came the unicorns.

I slipped off my shoes and turned to face Edward, sitting Indian style in the seat. "Sure. Why not?"

"Have you ever heard of the Sidhe?" he asked.

Sidhe. Sidhe...where had I heard that name before? Suddenly, it clicked. I'd heard it on a National Geographic special on mythical Ireland.

"Fairies?" I half-laughed. "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

He leaned his elbow on the dashboard and buried his face in his pal,. "That's the Sunday School term, yes."

"Fairies don't exist."

He peeked one eye from over top his fingers. "Neither do vampires."

All right...so he had a point. "Touché."

"Finished?"

I nodded.

He raised his gaze to meet mine squarely. "The Sidhe...No one really knows how they got there or why. They just..._are_. They're immortal like us, but infinitely more powerful, and beautiful."

I interrupted and shot him a pointed look, "I don't think that's possible."

He glared.

"Sorry," I muttered, then zipped the imaginary zipper between my lips with my thumb and pointer finger.

A small smile touched his face. "_Anyways_, centuries ago, when they all still resided in Europe, they split into two factions – Seely and Unseely."

For the sake of Edward's clearly-vanishing sanity, i refrained from giggling. You don't know 'strange' until the day your vampire boyfriend sits you down to have a perfectly serious conversation about fairies.

"The Seely were...fairly good, while the Unseely were evil. When they immigrated to America, the Unseely Court changed their name to Malinaught and went into hiding."

"A bunch of Tinkierbells gone to the dark side...Right..."

I simply couldn't resist.

He rolled his eyes. "If Tinkerbell was seven feet tall, had complete control of the elements, and could end your life with a glance, then yes."

I tilted my head to the side. My mind just refused to grasp this concept.

"Just go with it," he told me.

I sighed. "I'll try...So, how did Irina get involved in all this?"

"She stumbled upon their hideout on a hung – somewhere in northwestern Canada. They captured her, but she escaped though. You see, her power is that she can immobilize any moving object. She was on her way to our house when I caught up with her in Oregon."

I'd forgotten about that, about how I yelled at him and made him run that far.

I nodded, attempting to let his words sink in while the downpour steadily pounded the top of Edward's car. "Were they going to kill her?"

Slowly, he nodded, averting his eyes. "They kill anyone who knows where they thrive."

I glanced at him accusingly. "You know."

He didn't speak.

"Do they know that you know?" I demanded, an edge of hysteria coloring my tone.

"They know that most vampires know, now." He grabbed both of my hands. "Bella..." Edward began gently, "there's going to be another war." His voice was quiet, but I heard his words as if they'd been shouted at me.

I couldn't breathe. Maybe we should've stayed at the hospital. I was beginning to hyperventilate.

Frigid hands grabbed my face. "It's going to be fine, Bella. There's nothing to worry about, I promise."

"A bunch of...vampires...and evil Sidhe...are coming _here?_"

"It'll be all right."

"But...what about...all the people...and FORKS?" I gasped.

A strangled laugh escaped his lips. "When Alice said she invited everyone, she wasn't joking. I thought we could use the wedding as an evacuation. Give everyone free tickets to Jamaica or something."

"But Alice," I cried, "She was upset. She said that no one was going to come!"

"She wasn't looking for anything other than the wedding itself. Emmett would have told her by now. She should have everyone called by 6:30 tomorrow."

All of a sudden, he crushed me to him. "I'm so sorry...I know you wanted it to be perfect."

I shook my head. "It's perfect as long as you're there...Forks has to be evacuated."

Those liquid eyes gazed at me intensely. "That includes you."

I returned his stare. "And you."

His orbs looked away for a moment, gazing out the windsheild, off into the gray.

My jaw clenched.

Finally his sad eyes returned to mine, and gazed up at me through lowered lashes. "I don't think I can sit this one out."

A/N: so there you have it. The story behind irina and the malinaught, and o...Edward has to team up with other vampires and fight the Malinaught, and Bella has to leave, and their wedding is going to be an evacuation maneuver...it's a lot to take in, I know but just bear with me. 43 FAVORITES!! Woot woot. Review, u people who don't. 72 alerts. Grrrr...Anywho, ly as always. Tell me what you think.


	23. Chapter Nineteen ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer:** I got a cookie. No longer may I boycott you. The union called. (takes deep breath) idonotownanythingstepheniemeyerdoesandshe'samazingandedwards

amazingandbellasaluckybitch...Yeah. That about covers it.

_**THANK YOU!! YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE! MY ONLY SUNSHINE! (except the real one) YOU MAKE ME HAPPY (when you don't flame) WHEN SKIES ARE GRAY (what about when skies are blue?) **_

**Albnal33: yeah...you mafia member you. Welcome back and thank you. EH! EH! I'm talkin to you! Whatsa happa wit you? Good luck inflicting that damage through computer lines and wi fi signals btw. Even so, I have reconstructed my bomb shelter from holographic wrapping paper and plastic cups. (lolz)**

**Taryn: Thank you very much. I hope to some day be a writer, so that meant a lot. Come again.**

**Angelfromhell: As in Lucifer?? LOL jk. Now, I'm just sitting here waiting around for God to strike me down with a lightning bolt...so if this comment suddenly disappears into ellipses, you'll know why. Awww... thanks, I'm touched that you made an account just so you could...**

**Kerssica: lazy jetlagged reindeer. They're just no good anymore. I think Santa spoils you. Lol. Jk. Itchy curse begone. I have some in my back pocket. STILL! IN! PRISON! Stop. Get here soon. Stop. Or else. Stop. I will pummel you into a pulp. Stop. With Fred's crochet mallet. Stop. Telegraph terminated...stop. Next chapter of NMB when I have time. Exam week. : ( LOVE YA GIRLIE, even though you suck.**

**Thr.fl.ed.stalk.: I abbreviated this time. All shall be explained in due time. Lol.. I feel like a sensai. Thank you, young grasshopper.**

**Em: TRANSFORMERS!! Tehehehehe. Phillip will protect me. No stupid llama. WRONG WAY! When you said 40 degrees i was about to tell you that you must be a lizard or something, bc where I come from, we use ye old farenheight system and that's FREEZING...but i forgot that the crazy australians use celsius. Have fun on your celsius measured, kangaroo filled, vacation.**

**Mattybabe: Yay, panda. I'm going to have a zoo by the time im finished. A llama named phillip, countless smirfs, a polkadog named larry, Bob, and Kerssicas a reindder if that counts. Now, a panda. Not to mention the fact that I myself am a turtle. Hmmm strange. Thanks for the cookie. Ly (brussel sprout)**

**Melody Cullen: As you wish. Lol. What's he smell like? Tide? Cedar trees? Pink elephants?**

**Ten past midnight: YAY i was worried everyone would hate me for dragging fairies iinto this mess I call a story. YAY!! You don't. **

**Social distortionist: lol. Impatient much? Im typing, im typing. Thanks again. **

**Eliane: oooo got it right. Thank you mucho. Im surprised. I always thought plot development wasn't one of my stronger points. I really like your name. It's pretty.**

**Shadow-wolves: Very interesting indeed. SO excited to write about that part. This storie's mind is mentally ill. It should be put into an asylum immediately. **

**SS: YAY nother person who doesnt deplore me for throwing fairies into the mix. Thanksssssssssss (Parlsetongue)**

**Nobodyparticular: I loveee it when people talk about their reactions. BREATHE THO BREATHE. The outhouse was good because it was my great aunts and she has a sign on it that says nobody particular when its empty and somebody particular when it was occupado. Lots of funny stories with THAT one.**

**Dazzledbyacullen: too lazy for dashes. And I'm glad you know what sidhe are. I'll have to explain them to everyone else on here I think. Thanks for the emotion. It made my day.**

**MeyaRose: That one kept me up at night. Lol. Flame or good? Flame or good? Thanks for the email explaining it tho. YAY! Faerie wars are the best kind. I mean if your going to have a war, you might as well have a FAERIE one. Ly**

**Shatteredlovebrokendreams: YAY thank you! PITCHFORKS sound like a brilliant plan, oh queen of typos. I bow to thee. **

**Shannon: Livestrong Edward, livestrong. Here, have a lance armstrong bracelet. Haha thnx**

**Jjrenee85: lol. Im reallly ecstatic that another person doesn't hate me for adding mythical creatures. Jamiaca, man, the island paradise, man. Jamaica with Edward, man...MAN!**

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen: Take the paper bag and BREATHE! NOW! Kerssica is and i quote "jetlagged" at the moment, but when I get pandy, ill send him to you. Larrys looking for invx right now. And phillip is trying to find kerssica the jetlagged reindeer. The smirfs are just irritating, so pandys the only choice. Sadly, he's on backorder. To the bomb shelter it is then.**

Chapter 19

Leaving the hospital – definitely a bad idea. I was gasping, the air exiting my lungs nearly as fast as it entered them.

My husband was going to war. It was strange to think that way, like that sort of thing only happened to the girls in flannel dresses with hot-rolled hair in old black-and-white films, waving their lover's ships away with tear-stained handkerchiefs.

"You're coming with me!" I shouted.

His eyes widened, taken aback by my outburst.

Was I being noble? Not at all. Selfish? Maybe. Did I care one bit? Hell no; I was a desperate woman.

"Bella, I'm going to be fine," he assured, rubbing what-were-supposed-to-be-comforting circles on my cheeks with his thumbs.

"You don't know that!" I yelled back, gripping his hands with my own. "You can't know that!"

"Alice..." he began.

"The slightest decision could change everything."

He scowled. "I can handle it."

"You don't even know what you're up against."

The next few seconds passed in excruciating tension, human vs. vampire in a staring contest for the history books. Of course, he, with his lack of tears or need to blink, won hands-down.

"Gah!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up.

I blinked furiously. Where was the Visine when you needed it?

He smirked.

I glared. "Don't smile at me. I'm mad at you...and FYI, know that I'm going with you wherever you go – _wherever_ you go."

I glanced up to check his expression. My words had hit their mark...just not the one I intended them to. His hands were tense, stone cuffs on my forearms. His features were livid, jaw clenched, eyes wild.

"Bella, you will not..." He looked away to compose himself. "After I'm...if I...You will _not_ do anything stupid."

The commanding intensity of his voice was startling. "If I have to lock you up somewhere..." he gave me a rough shake. "Do you understand?"

I looked confused. "This was the plan to begin with," I said.

Edward looked appalled.

"You were going to change me after the wedding, remember?"

Visibly, the muscles relaxed, melting into relief.

What, I thought, could make changing me pale in horrific comparison...Ahhh...DYING me. Edward thought that I meant that I would kill myself if he died...which was true, but judging from his reaction, he was clearly not prepared to handle that tidbit of information.

"That might actually be a slightly, and I do mean an exceedingly _slightly_," he added with narrowed eyes, "considered suggestion if this battle were in a year or so. There's no time. You'd barely be out of the pain stage, or might not be at all. And even if you were, you wouldn't be prepared. Too new and..." he paused, looking at me sympathetically before continuing quietly, "bloodthirsty."

Defeated, I sank back down into my seat. "How much time do I have left with you?" I whispered.

"Forever."

I gazed up at him with tortured eyes. "Before..."

The pain in his face equaled that in mine. "Tomorrow."

"And tonight," he continued.

I inhaled swiftly, like I was about to start weeping again, but I simply didn't have the energy to work up tears. "Then let's make it count."

He smiled for me. The dazzling-factor was significantly decreased though because it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Anything. Whatever you want to do."

I shot him a mysterious smile before climbing over the center console to the wide seat in the back of the Volvo. Sitting on one side, I patted the leather beside me for him to get his big (sexy) vampire butt back there.

He cocked an eyebrow at me before acquiescing to my demand. With perfect grace, he lithely slid beside me...eyebrow still raised.

Slowly, I ran my hand up his arm, stopping it at his shoulder. I could hear his quick intake of breath, right before I gazed deeply into his golden orbs.

"Can you just lie with me?" I asked.

His expression softened, features changing from skepticism to something entirely unfathomable, bottomless. "Of course," he whispered, brushing his lips over the crown of my head.

Ever so temptingly slowly, he stretched out his legs and lowered his back to the fabric. I was sitting on the edge, looking down at him in awe. The top four buttons on his shirt were undone, exposing his statue-perfect chest. He looked like a Greek statue right now in the position he was lying in. One knee up, one arm above his head, the other dangling off the edge of the seat.

My mouth was open, gaping at his perfection. He smirked, then took the hand dangling over the side of the leather and used it to lift my chin, thus closing my mouth and ending my ogling. Then, with the same hand, he patted his chest like I had done to the couch earlier.

I blushed and struggled to keep my mouth closed. I jumped on him, burying myself in his granite body.

He chuckled. I mumbled an insult into his chest.

He only laughed harder. Then, he wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me to him.

"Out of all the things we could have done..." he murmured.

"I think this beats out anything else I could have done...anything _anyone_ else could have done, in fact." The butterflies in my stomach kept reminding me of it.

He contemplated a moment. "I can't imagine Mike Newton enjoying it, but..."

I made a face. "Worst mental image EVER! In the history of the world, Edward!"

He snickered.

I glared. "It think I'm going to be sick now."

He tsked. "And Esme just bought me this shirt."

I wiggled my eyebrows at him. "You could always take it off, you know."

Edward shrugged, then moved his long fingers up to undo the next button. I gasped. "You're really going to do it?"

He shrugged again, prior to looking up at me with a sexy glint in his eyes. "Unless _you_ would like to..."

I grinned. "Any time. Any place." I undid the buttons on his shirt one by one, taking care not to reveal any of his smooth skin till I was finished. When I got near the bottom, I looked up and noticed that his eyes were closed tightly, in what seemed to be deep concentration. I took notice of where my hands were, resting lightly above the waist of his jeans. With a smile, I undone the last button, letting my hands linger before moving them back up to grasp the now-unconnected edges. I brushed the fabric aside, then let my hands wonder down the smooth contours of his pale chest, down to his abdomen. He was glorious. I ran my fingers lightly across his toned muscles, and they trembled ever so slightly. With something deep in his chest that resonated somewhere between a growl and a purr, he grabbed my hands and yanked me back up to where I was lying on top of him.

I pouted.

"Pushing. It." He uttered through clenched teeth.

"Can't. Help. It."

Edward rolled his eyes and pulled me to him. "Stay up here."

I snuggled my face against his neck. "Not a problem."

"Oh," I started, propping myself up to look at his face. "There was something I've been wondering."

"Shoot."

"What was Emmett doing to you up stairs?" I asked. "At your early bachelor's party."

Edward winced. "You don't want to know."

I kissed his jaw. "Oh, yes I do."

"If you must..." He sighed. "He replaced my CD's, and was forcing me to listen to them."

"Replaced them with what?"

So quietly that I had to strain to hear him, he muttered, "Lil' Jon."

I howled with laughter. "Rap...Emmett...made...you listen to rap?!"

Solemnly, he nodded. My sides were hurting from my laughing.

"I can still hear it!" he exclaimed in irritation.

Laughing, I removed myself from him and leaned over the console. After turning the key one click, so that the engine hadn't started but the car was still on, I clicked play on Edward's CD player. Debussy's "Reverie" filled the vehicle.

"Better?" I asked.

"Much."

Satisfied, I returned to my position. "So...was it uncensored?"

Cringing, he nodded.

"Learn anything?" I teased.

He opened one eye to look at me. "Gave me a few ideas."

The shock must have registered on my face, for Edward's twisted into a big smile. Quickly, I brushed it off. "Speaking of _that_ particular subject, are we still...you know...going to?"

"I'm afraid we're going to have to take a raincheck."

"A raincheck?" I demanded. Did he actually just tell me to take a raincheck on _sex_?

"Bella, we won't have time."

"Oh, come on," I objected. "It's not like it takes _that_ long."

Edward smirked. "When it's done right, it does." His voice became low and rough. "And I intend to do it very, very," His lips were grazing my ear. "_Very_ right."

Shivers rolled down my spine. I couldn't speak after that. What could I say? I was much too caught up in my fantasies, so we just lay there for a while, listening to the mingling music of the rain and the piano playing.

Later. Much, much later, I spoke again. "So, I guess our bachelourettes/bachelor's parties are canceled, huh?"

He looked at me sadly and nodded. "They're having a sort of...family meeting about our situation right now."

"Shouldn't you be there, too?"

He looked away.

Answer: yes.

"We can go."

"We?"

"I told you I was coming with you today, and anyway, I want you to be as prepared as possible."

He looked hesitant.

"As long as you take me, I don't care where we go," I told him.

He sighed. "All right. If it's what you want to do."

He checked my face. "It is," I assured.

Reluctantly, I got back into the passenger's seat. Edward, shirt now buttoned, followed me and started the car. As he drove away, I looked out the side mirror and memorized the place, praying that these weren't the last peaceful moments we had together.

**A/N: AWWWWWWW!! And yet TEARRRRRR!! Jeeze louise...TWENTY THREE reviews since i last updated...THANK YOU!! SO MUCH!! MAKES MY DAY!! Lyall Keep it up. What in the world will this meeting be about? I just had to give them a cute little fluff moment before...well, you'll see. **

**O and by the way, ACCIO EDWARD CULLEN!**


	24. Chapter Nineteen and ONeHalf ACTUASLLY

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, but some socks. I like them. Please let me keep them. THey're purple with pink zebra stripes...and FUZZY!! Gotta love Belks.

**_WOW...WOW...Thank you so much. Words can't een describe. 29 reviews since last update. WOW. much closer to the review: favorite ratio (50:50) I dream of every night. Thanks again. Kindly keep it up. Now the part of the show where I can be silly. _**

**_:_**

**C Thompson: Ooooo finesse...like my shampoo. Madamoiselle Turtle? I like it. It has a certain ring to it. Forget Lily. That's a much better name. Neway, thanks for your salutation. hmmm reminds me of charlottes web. nevermind me, im just prattling. You too? What's with the death and destruction? o well, thank you anyway. I shall now fortify my bomb shelter.**

**minimeyer: because...JUSt because. And edward thinks that's reason enough so MHEH! tehehehe :P **

**DuckChick: I like ducks too. In fact, I adore anything that waddles, penguins, ducks, errr... other waddly type creatures. It's a thing...neways. I bet you he'd get paid a million bucks per shoot if he agreed. Edward's really missing out on some dough. Thanks for the review.**

**Melody Cullen: Kill Edward?! hmmm...ill think about it and get back to you on that. (shify eyes) Thanks for the review. ly...blah blah...youre a regular...you know the drill. Pink elephants...I heard they live in Dumbo. Yes the classic disney movie. Or...if you don't feel like animating yourself, theirs some in Turkey, or so the rumor goes.**

**sparklette: Thank you. Wait no more! So...are you just a very small sparkle?**

**GoodbyeLove4: I know. Sadness just keeps seeping into my story. I try to write humor but the sadness, drama, suspense bug has bitten me. Sadly, there is no cure. Thanks for the review. Come again. :D**

**shadow-wolf: Ill get around to explaining faeries in greater detail sometime. Errr... Read holly black books, or hunter's moon. They're not of the tinkerbell variety. They're big, powerful, mischeivous. Think Jareth from Labyrinth if youve ever seen that. Sidhe are an old irish myth. Although some would disagree... k. loving for forever beginningg...now!**

**breaking dawn: Wait Begone! Thanks.**

**Eliane: KK...Thanks for the love homeslice. (tehehe)**

**iamswitzerland: Thanks. Well, you know, I try. neways, Accio is a spell in harry potter used to summon things. It's like an...errr..."Come here!" Man do I feel like a dork. Yes well, books rock my nerdy socks, or so the facebook piece of flair says.**

**social distortionist: I love when people people laugh or quote. You did both. YAY! made my day. Neways thanks. ooooo double smiley. Nice.**

**angelfromhell: NOOOO Harry potter is happily married to genny weasley...or so the poorly written epilogue told me. Gah. Crossovers. Delicate subject matter there. Either can go very well or very very VERY badly. Tum tum tum, its a bird, its a plane, no its HARRY POTTAH!Get the snitch! i wow...Excuse me, ive temporarily lost my mind. If you find it, plz return it to the mailing adress listed on the cerebral cortex... o and thanks.**

**minilove4ever: u crazy people and your dashed pen names. Madness i tell you, MADNESS! That being said, thank you for the review. (lol)**

**jjrenee85: Good directions... HEHEHE. With the way Edward's going, avoiding it and all, he might need some GPS installed into his uber vampire brain. Thanks again.**

**LaruenBTtwilight fan: IM TYPING IM TYPING. lol thanks though. No pressure though, right? HOw in the world you resisted cheesecake is beyond me. But wow. Im impresssed, and touched beyond words. I have two others...No More Bears, and Off the Job. both funny. but off the job is a parody about what happens when the characters are not in use. **

**nobodyparticular: OUR GALS BEAT LSU...by one pt. but still. I knowwwww. Magic spells just don't work like they used to. Neways, blah bee blah. C Underlined Text.**

**thefuturemrsedwardcullen: OMG THAT STORY GRATED ON MY NERVES SO MUCH!! grrr... i meant to flame but i couldn't see past the red fury in my eyes. grrrrrrr again. What a jerk. Glad she's stopped writing though. and i hope to god that isn't how she really writes. Pandy's on its way. I only got five measly minutes with it :( bye bye pandy... o yeah, thanks.**

**inlovewithyouforever: thanks katie**

**meyarose: this story was originally meant to be a comedy...Now its a strange mixture of everything. Read underlined text. **

**mediavalagression: mwuahaha. they are my specialteeee! emphasis on the eeeeee. glad u like.**

**albnal33: my word, this is taking forever...hmmm...i cant hear you giving away my plot...lalalala...or do i just WANT you to think that. My bomb shelter is TOO high tech for you. Lil jon...hehehe as well. **

**horsecrazed: ME TOOOOOO!! about the horses. But of course, i live in tennessee so that is to be expected.**

**shatteredlovebrokendreams:Entry fees are 2 dollars for the llamas and free for the smirfs...they'll probaly attack you neways. Its a smirf thing. SUper sharp pitchforks, with built in flamethrowers. thanks again.**

**kerssica: HERE WE GO! my hand hurts alot right now. THat's how much i like you! Red hair? interessting. Kersica the flying irish reindeer? o wait...ya you live in the netherlands. i forgot. I think i see you. You're a smudge on the horizon...o wait...that's jsut a blimp for heinz ketchup. AM SOOO in for hitchkikeing to Alaska to free the fun. THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE FUN! (gollum gollum) it's a quest. YAY. plz breathe. And emmett just hasnt been up to his creativity standards lately. Im severly dissapointed. I tried to wizrd myself some time. believe me. It failed tho. GPS...that would be my special power. Quasimodo Bella version? hmmm... sounds fun. Sadly, that's locked up in Alaska right now. Newho, read underlined txt.**

**mattybabe: now... would u like your name to have alliteration or rhyming? Mattybabe the Mongolian eal. Mattybabe the Manatee? Mattybabe the Narwhal? I just like narwhals. nice english accent, chap. Thanks again. Especiall for your zoo contribution.**

**INVX: right there with you. THanks again.**

**Chapter 19 and ONe-Half**

"Jasper, I can't believe you would even _think_ of doing that! After all Bella's done for me!" Edward shouted.

He had Jasper pinned up against the wall by the collar of his shirt.

"Calm down, Edward. I didn't mean it. I'm just saying that it would be an advantage, not that I would ever do it!" Jasper yelled back. "Settle down!"

Alright, so maybe going to the meeting hadn't been such a lovely idea. Jasper was thinking about using my blood as a "secret weapon" to beat the Fae. Edward, naturally, promptly had a conniption.

Esme, Alice, and I all stalked over at the same time, hands on our hips. "Stop this now."

Edward took one look at Jasper's smug face before setting him down slowly.

"Jasper just thinks in military terms, that's all," Alice defended her husband.

"I know," I said, "Edward just overreacts."

"Hey!" he said.

I glanced at him with the best innocent, pouty face I could muster, and shrugged. He looked like he was about to protest, but then nodded in agreement.

After we had all gone to sit over at the couch again, tension dissipated for the most part, except the teensy underlying current of oh, 'everyone has to fight a near impossible war against malevolent faerie super-people…' Edward took a deep breath.

"Does anyone have any suggestions as to how we could win that _do not_," he shot a hard look at Jasper, "involve ending my fiancée's life?"

I was sure Carlisle would have an answer to this conundrum, but he and Emmett were out 'recruiting' at the moment, trying to petition other vampires to join their cause.

"We'll have to take them by surprise," Jasper finally conceded. "The Fae are masters of illusion. That'll be our biggest problem, trying to sort out the fake from the real." Here, he paused and looked at me. "That's why we need Edward so badly." His tone was apologetic.

I nodded and gripped Edward's hand tighter. Over the last hours, I had tried to convince myself that Edward fighting didn't necessarily equate Edward dying. Jasper being at the meeting had helped mellow my emotions, too, although there was a strange nuance of guilt ever present with everything.

"He'll be able to tell the difference," Jasper continued. "And also, we'll have the Volturi..."

I started. "The Volturi?"

Edward looped his arm around my shoulders. "Another reason why..."

He didn't finish the sentence. He didn't have to. This was just another reason that I had to skip town. I glanced at Alice. "When will they arrive?"

"Day after tomorrow."

"When will the fight be?"

She shot an uneasy glance at Edward and he nodded.

"Night after tomorrow," she admitted.

I gasped. The clock was ticking now, terrifyingly loud.

"We know what we're doing," Rosalie said.

"Yeah, I know," I looked at them all sheepishly. "I'm just having a mild mental breakdown."

"Obviously," Edward said.

"Because you know all about _those, _don't you?" I teased.

He chuckled. His melodious laugh, like deep bells, soon elicited my own.

Jasper appeared irritated. "No laughing at the war planning session!"

We looked over at him with guilty smiles, two kids caught with chocolate crumbs on their faces before dinner-time.

"Lighten up," Alice told him.

He scowled at her. "This is a _war!_ Not a stroll the park, not picking wildflowers in the meadow, a _war!_ And it'll be the hardest we've ever fought in."

Everyone immediately sobered, the little bubble of comfort, denial, and homeliness abruptly destroyed.

"Our greatest strength will be in numbers," he continued. "A newborn army would be ideal if we had had time. If someone," his eyes hurled daggers at Alice. "Had seen this coming."

"I was busy with everything else," she defended. "Carlisle would never have supported that anyway. Jeeze, Jaz!" She scooted away from him on the sofa.

"I know, love." He looked down and sighed, before gently brushing her shoulder. "I'm just stressed, and everyone else is stressed...which isn't helping. Forgive me?"

She turned and looked into his eyes. It was another one of their intimate eye conversations. Automatically out of respect, I averted my gaze.

I heard Rosalie's impatient huff, then assumed it safe to look up.

Alice and Jasper were holding hands now.

"Could we trap them?" Esme asked.

Edward shook his head. "They wouldn't fall for it, would they Alice?"

"No, they'd see through it in a blink. We're going to have to just do it the old-fashioned way?"

Suddenly the door opened. Carlisle and Emmett strolled in. Esme and Rosalie both rose to greet them.

Emmett was wearing a grin that stretched from ear to ear. "You mean like kung fu?" he asked Alice.

Alice rolled her eyes, before muttering, "It wouldn't hurt."

I pondered for a minute. Ninja vampires...hmmmm.

"Bella?" Edward was gazing at me strangely, one eye narrowed. "What are you thinking of?"

Placing my hand on his shoulder, I said, "You really don't want to know."

"Recruit many?" Edward asked of his father-figure.

Carlisle nodded, a strange victorious glint in his eyes. "Quite a few actually. We persuaded them to stay far away from Forks until after the wedding. We'll be on patrol tonight, too. We ran down to Texas."

My mouth fell open at the concept of simply running across several states in a day.

"Those vampires have acclimated to a violent lifestyle," he continued. "In total, we'll have nearly fifty-four fighting with us."

"And the Volturi," Alice added.

He smiled. "I never thought I'd be happy to hear that."

Those odds sounded infinitely better to me. Edward can do this. Edward can do this. You can do this. You can be brave...

**A/N: Just a filler. Exams...realllll busy. More coming tonight? Tomorrow? Sometime then. I've kept you waiting too long. The guilt is painful. : So, here ya go. Something to chew on. Just some more info, some funny bits. My favorite is "No laughing at the war planning session!" God, i love jasper. Now, here's the question. Clearly, there will be a battle. And even more clearly is Bella is probably not going to be there for a good part of it. Would you like battle snippets from different characters points of view, or would that ruin it for you? **


	25. Chapter Twenty ACTUALLY

So much fluff in this chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own it. And those are the bounds of my creativity after writing for two hours.

So much fluff in this chapter...It'll make your Build-A-Bear jealous...

Mattybabe: I vote narwhal, because then you could make friends with Shamu, and I'd have connections. (lol) Plus narwhals just rock. They're in elf, too. Thanks as always...and about pandy. So, thefuturemrsedwardcullen's mother was about to send her to an asylum and so I sent Pandy on a rescue mission to her...or something. I dunno. Im losing count with the people I have to rescue. So, yes, I did get to pet it some tho...and feed it goldfish. It likes goldfish.

Em: you inspired a part in this chap. See if you can guess which one? ;) Nice theme music. Thanks again.

MeyaRose: Nice suggestion. That was the original plan. Now, I...well. just read the author's note. Ly as always, thanks for stopping by. Yaddah yaddah.

Rosalie: I was wondering when someone would say that. I wrote him a little out of character pretty much just because I wanted someone to say that line. Drat! You caught me. O well. Emmetts not too terribly vital to the storyline so whoopdidoo. And wow. Thanks for the grovelling. I shall now knight ye! Since ur already down there and all. Rise Sir Rosalie...or errr...

Sparklette: I really think your penname should be in a dictionary somewhere. That's how much I like it. Anywho, thanks for the review. OOOOo that rhymed. Best of luck with the paper. :D

DuckChick: There's a tribute to you in this chapter too. Sortof. Just because you called me classic. I wasn't planning on giving anything away. Just setting the scene some. Introduce people to Sidhe. Thanks again. Come back soon.

GracefulLittleAlice: Snickers...the verb, not the candy bar. Sorry im just so irresistibly amazing that you risk yellings for me. Lol. Jk. Thanks for the review. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. YAY

Roughdraft: I appreciate it. It would either be that or third person. I don't want to give a lot away, just lay out some foundation for what is to come.

Shadowwolf: YOU! You are going to reveal every twist I have up my sleeve. I still love you, but... lol or is that just what I want you to think?! Hmmmm...and also, who ever said that bella wasn't going to be there for the battle. Read my question in the last author's note veryyyyy carefully. Bella just might have to be intelligent for once. Anways, blah, thanks, blah, go you, blah, have a great day! And read this author's note too btw. :D

Nobodyparticular: Ur comment made me want a trampoline for some reason. I dont know why. The word bouncing? Ah well. Sucks that there are no trampolines in sight. The battles going to be fun (tehehehe) well, for me anyways. For you all...well, youll see.

Medivalagression: I was actually planning on both. Bella might have to be smart for a change. Muchos gracias madam. I also agree. Conniption is a fantabulous word. I try to use it as often as I can in everyday conversation.

Socialdistortionist: WOOOTTTTT! I like woots. Neways, getting off subject. Ur names Alice?! Sweet. Pretty name. Thanks for the review. Ly, LIVESTRONG! (?)

Futuremrsedwardcullen: netime my friend. Sorry i didn't update yesterday. Had a hot date! Lol. I wish. I had a date...not so much about the hot part sadly. Thanks for ur contribution. I shall take it into consideration. Ly...thanks...all that jazz.

Dying inside: you are getting VERRRYYYY sleepy...verrrryyyy sleepy. O wait, I forgot...dont read this until after youve read the chapter and reviewed pretty plz. And COME BACK!! Don't dye, dying inside...hmmmm...ironic. newho, thanks for the review.

On with the show...

Chapter 20

"Edward, where are we going?" I shouted above the roar of the wind as he ran.

"You'll see!"

We had left his house a few minutes ago. The battle plan was this: take the Fae by surprise and utilize the quantity. Newer vamps would be in the front lines to break up enemy ranks. Edward was going to be something of a, I shook my head, colonel as Jasper had called it. He'd be in command of the surprise faction, while the main group, led by Jasper, clashed with them first. The Volturi would catch them off guard, too, just on the opposite side as Edward's party. The Denalis were supposedly coming, too. This was going to be a war the likes of which the world had never seen, and the world wouldn't even know about it.

I clutched Edward tighter. It was evening. In between the cloudcover above us, I could make out patches of stars, like twinkling flowerbeds fenced in by the fluffy clouds. It was deceivingly tranquil.

"What about Charlie?" I shouted. "Sorry!" I yelled again, after I saw how he cringed at how loud my voice came out right next to his ear. He cringed again. "I mean sorry," I corrected quietly.

Edward laughed and picked up his pace. "Taken care of," he answered. "Alice."

Of course. I snuggled my face back into his shoulder, protecting it from windburn until we came to a steady halt. Maintaining my position, I could feel Edward's amusement.

"Comfy?" he asked, a smile in his voice.

"Mhmm."

"Don't you want to see your surprise?" His silky voice almost moved me.

But since when was I excited about surprises? I held him even closer. He snickered. "You'll like this one."

Reaching around in front of me, my hand blindly grasped, looking for something. Finally, it covered its target – his mouth.

He lifted a cold hand to gently pry my fingers from his face, before he kissed every one individually. "You'll _love_ this one," he purred.

I couldn't help it. He'd brought out that secret weapon of his, his voice, which would make any straight woman's kneecaps automatically transform into mush. I moaned quietly.

Against me, I could feel Edward tense like he was braced for impact. My head shot up. "What's wrong?"

He still had my hand in his, but his eyes were closed.

"Edward?" I touched his face.

Shaking his head, he snapped out of whatever trance he was in, and his eyes flew open. "Nothing," he said, but his voice sounded strained and gravelly.

Slowly, a smirk spread across my lips. "Did I do that?"

He looked a me with accusing eyes, before pulling me off his back and into his arms, holding me bridal fashion. I gulped.

"Like I've said – the most dangerous creature I've ever met."

I never removed my eyes from his face as he carried me. There was a countdown on the hours I'd get to gaze at it now, and I wouldn't waste a single millisecond even if that meant I wouldn't blink for the next day.

I studied him until he came to a halt, then ever so slowly dropped to his knees with me still in his arms. A strange sweet sent wafted to my nose. Then, just as slowly, he lowered me to the ground. My back touched something soft, a blanket. My eyes widened. Was he really going to...

Edward tried to pull away, but I didn't let go of his neck.

"Bella, I'm going to need that."

I sighed and unhooked my arms, then addressed him in mock salute. "Aye, aye, colonel."

He pulled away and then disappeared from my view. I sat up so I could locate him once more, and it was then that I took notice of where I was.

I gasped. In our meadow, Edward had set up a midnight picnic under the stars. Currently he was lighting five candles set into a crystal holder in the center. He shot me a side-glance from where he was, hovering just atop the flames. "Do you like it?"

I surveyed the rest of the scene. Some sort of CD player sat on the edge of the soft periwinkle quilt. Another few blankets, of assorted colors and textures, were neatly folded into a pile in the grass beside a wicker basket. With the candles lit, I could observe the source of the sweet fragrance – rose petals. They had been scattered over the blanket and ground around us.

"Wow," I murmured. "Did you...you didn't have to...wow."

Then before I could breathe again, he was there, sitting right in front of me, studiously analyzing my befuddled reaction.

"Wow," I said again.

He tilted his head to the side. "Word of the day?"

I smiled a little. "Wow," I teased, then quietly, "Thank you."

"Ahhh...so you _do_ have a vocabulary larger than three letters."

I narrowed my eyes and swatted at him playfully. Before it hit him though, much to my surprise, he snatched it out of the air, and tenderly brought it to his chest, holding my palm just where his heart used to beat.

My breath caught – again. What was this? The fortieth time today?

The taunting light quickly dimmed in my eyes as they rose to meet his. Our expressions matched – deep, loving, a certain sadness that neither one of us was willing to acknowledge quite yet. I wanted to drown in those topaz depths, to stay here forever.

I glanced down. We were so close to forever.

He raised his other hand, the one that wasn't in use, to grip my chin. He lifted it, but I still looked down.

"Look at me?" he entreated. "Please..."

Somehow, I refused. I broke my earlier vow and kept my eyes away, so that he couldn't see the tears welling up. "You'll be careful, won't you?"

Swiftly, he gathered me to him and brushed his cold lips on every surface of skin he could reach. "Oh, Bella. Of course I will, but it'll be over in a few days, and then I'll see you again."

I shook my head. "What if you..."

I couldn't finish my question for the sob. All my hard work in trying to force the subject from my mind – futile in the end.

He kissed the top of my head. "Don't cry." His voice was breaking. "I hate to see you like this. It'll be easier for me, remember?"

I nodded slightly. "And the others?"

"We'll be fine. We've got advantages. Three to be exact."

"If anything happens to you...I'll..." I started.

He tensed. Anger flashed metallic in his orbs. "You'll do what, Bella?" he demanded.

Fury quickly overtook me as well. "I don't know!"

"I do," he told me, grasping the sides of my face. "You'll live a long life, and you'll find happiness. You'll die an old woman surrounded by her loving family and friends. That's what you'll do."

I tried to pull my head out of his grip, but he didn't let go.

"Promise me," he commanded.

I uselessly struggled to free myself again. At last, I gave up. "I can't live without you!" I screamed.

Desperation quickly replaced anger as the infliction of his voice. "You can, Bella. You _have_ to promise me."

I threw my hands up in the air. "Oh, so it's okay for you to go skipping off the Italy when I decide to jump off a cliff." He winced. "But when you go charging headfirst into a mob of angry Unseely, I can't do a damn..."

He cut me off the best way he knew how, with his lips moving against mine. There was so much emotion behind the kiss, I was blinded, momentarily stunned. That dissolved in place of a new feeling though – passion. Edward's arms around my back, forcing me against him, were cold, but I was scorching. I kissed him back as hard as I possibly could, tangling my hands in his hair.

Before I could make sense of the switch, I was on my back, Edward straddling me. His lips now wondered down my neck. I could feel his tongue tracing patterns. As much as I tried, I couldn't suppress it. I moaned again, and moved one hand down to his shoulder to hold him in place.

I was expecting him to tense and pull away like last time, but much to my delight, thank God and all that is holy, he didn't. He grabbed my wrists and held them up above my shoulders, while his smooth lips trailed over my collarbone. I shivered.

This time, he did pull away. Automatically in my mind, I categorized "shivering" into the cabinet of things to never, ever do again.

I sat up to gripe, when something soft and fuzzy was slung over my shoulders.

"I apologize," Edward said. "I'd forgotten it was cold out tonight."

I glared at him like he had just sprouted two more heads. "You thought I was shivering because I was cold? Are you kidding me?" I threw the blanket off me, rolled my eyes, and fell back down onto the quilt. "You're absurd."

Edward's smirking face came into my line of vision. "You seem to quite enjoy my absurdity."

"I seem to be in love with and completely adore your absurdity." I corrected. "We should get mad at each other more often," I told him breathlessly.

He laughed and leaned down to rub his nose against mine. "Every day."

"Now," he said, grabbing my hands and pulling back up. "You must be starving."

I gave him a pointed look. "You have no idea."

He shook his head, before gracefully rising and walking towards the basket. He placed it in front of me.

"Smells delicious," I commented.

This time, he gave _me_ a pointed look. "You have no idea."

Opening the basket, I laughed.

I pulled the Tupperware boxes out one by one: ham stuffed roasted trout, snow peas, fluffy looking mashed potatoes, a salad, a small container of vinaigrette, a hot thermos of some sort of scrumptious smelling soup, and finally, a French silk pie.

"Did you make this?" I asked.

He nodded. Where he had gotten the time, I didn't know, nor did I care right at this second.

"Wow."

"So we're back to that again?" he teased.

By now, he had my meal arranged on a china plate in front of me. He poured some sort of wine looking drink into a champagne glass.

I raised an eyebrow. "Charlie wouldn't approve at all."

He grinned before twisting the bottle to where I could see the name. _Sparkling Cider._

I blushed and looked away. Of course Edward wouldn't let me get drunk. It would be "entirely too dangerous" for some reason or another.

After stabbing a piece of trout with my fork, I brought it up to my mouth and ate it.

"Mmmmmmmm."

Edward breathed a sigh of relief before lowering himself to the blanket to rest on his side, head propped up by his hand, watching me eat.

After several minutes, it became somewhat unnerving. I was blushing every time I took a bite, and then he would grin, thus starting the cycle over again. So, I hurried through the rest of my dinner.

"Dessert?" he asked, as he cleared away my plate.

A mischievous smile played at the corners of my lips. "Yes, thank you," I said before launching myself at him.

He chuckled, and I arranged myself to where I was sitting in his lap.

Again, his expression changed. These mood swings were leaving me dizzy.

Tentatively, he grabbed the collar of my shirt before sliding it off my shoulder.

My mouth fell open. Did he actually just do that? I glanced down to make sure. When I saw my exposed skin, I gazed up to him in wonderment. "Edward?"

His eyes remained transfixed on his fingertips that were now tracing a delicate circuit on my skin, down the side of my neck, following the curve of it down to my shoulder, and back up again.

"I know...that you want this." His voice was husky. "Your smell changes."

I blinked a few times. Was he serious? His eyes glance back up at me quickly. They answered for him.

Yes, he was very, very, very serious.

"Only if you want it, too," I told him quietly.

His face turned hard. "This isn't about me."

"Last time I checked, a good half of it is."

He scowled. "Bella..."

"What's your opinion? Really, I want to know."

And I did. I wouldn't make him do something he didn't want to do.

I was momentarily disarmed by the intensity of his gaze. "Not like this," he whispered.

I nodded and took a deep breath. "I agree."

He brought my face closer to look at his. "Positive?"

Everything in the world was telling me to accept his offer, that it might be the last I got. But I couldn't, not without both our hearts entirely in it. I didn't want it to be something we regretted, so I ignored my instincts and simply nodded.

Solemnly, he moved the fabric on my shirt back to cover my shoulder.

"Alternatives," he announced before getting up to fumble around in the bottom of the picnic basket.

He pulled out the last thing I would have ever expected – the board game "Clue".

Lo and behold, he had just grown a fourth head.

"Alice said you like board games, and playing against you will be the first time I've been evenly matched," he said.

I shrugged. "In comparison, this is a terrible alternative, but hey," I looked up and grinned. "I'm game. You're going down."

He smiled as he laid out the board and pieces. "We'll see. Who are you going to be?"

I thought for a moment. "Mrs. Peacock. You?"

"Colonel Mustard."

"Fitting."

**SEVERAL HOURS, FOUR GAMES, AND TEN GLASSES OF SPARKLING CIDER LATER**

The score was tied. Edward had won two and I had won two. This was the game to beat. Winner takes all.

"Mrs. Scarlett in the study with a crowbar!" I announced.

Edward looked at me skeptically, before removing the three cards from the "Confidential" folder one-by-one.

First one: Mrs. Scarlett

Second one: Crowbar

I crossed my fingers. Third one: Study.

I laughed maniacally before grabbing the bottle of cider, preparing to take another swig. Sadly, Edward's hands got there first.

"No more Cider for you," he reprimanded.

I pouted. "Jerk. I liked it."

Due to my current sugar rush, I had blurted out all sorts of random phrases. Edward now knew that I wanted to be a dolphin when I was younger, had had my pants fall down in a school talent show, and used to eat Play-Doh on a daily basis.

"As much as you liked that Play-Doh?" he asked.

I stuck my tongue out at him. "I was six! And anyway, I won."

He sobered mockingly. "You're right. What is it you command of me, your majesty?"

"You have to..." I thought for a while. "Quack like a duck."

"Are you serious?"

I giggled. "Mhmm."

"Bella, there wasn't even alcohol in that drink..."

I tilted my head to the side. "Caffeine makes me loopy."

He swiped the game board out of the way to kiss my forehead. "Apparently."

Squinching up his face, he took a deep breath. "Quack," he said quietly.

I glared. "You're a horrible duck."

Edward rolled his eyes. "And you're sleepy," he said, grabbing me, lying down, and pulling me onto his chest.

"No m' not," I murmured, but my eyelids were rather heavy, now that I thought about it.

"Okay, love. You can just _not_ be sleepy right here for a little while."

I tried to open my eyes, but it was like trying to do so through glue. "Love you," I whispered.

"I love you too, Bella," I heard a smooth voice say. "With all of me. Never forget that I'm yours."

Peacefulness descended over the haze I was trapped in, and vaguely, I caught parts of a beautiful lullaby being hummed by an angel.

And then, I was lost underneath the starlight.

A/N: So...is your buildabear jealous yet? Is it hot in here, or is it just me? So...Thank you all for answering the question in the exact same way in agreement. HAHAHA...So, thanks to the variety of answers I have gotten on the subject, I have decided to simply cross that bridge when I get there, and hope that not too many people hate me.

**And also WHY I DIDN"T TURN BELLA INTO A VAMPIRE: Do you people remember Eclipse? The Cullens were only able to defeat the newborns because they WERE newborns. They're too bloodthirsty and unfocused to fight smartly. And that's the key to the Cullens winning this battle: intelligence. Or that's what I got out of it anyway. So, neways, review, blah blah blah. Love ya. TTFN!**


	26. Chapter TwentyOne ACTUALLY

I was waking up

**Disclaimer: **Yes, well, I wouldn't be writing this if I owned it.

_**THANKS THANKS THANKS…26 reviews last time. GEE WILLICKERS! This is more reviews than I could have dreamed for. Thank you. All my gratitude, really,**_

**Sup3rnatura1grl: Thanks…to be honest, I don't either. I'm glad you think my random miscelaneousness is amazing and brilliant tho…I'm touched. **

**Kerssica: You wore me down. Alice is back in town! And bill…honestly, you have a bagillion dollars. You should really invest in finding a way to have the world wide web at high altitudes so that us fanfiction afictionados don't have conniptions whenever we go on vacation (has happened!). O and drat! Im allergic to android. ACHOO…cool red hair…ACHOO! Turtle on a conveyer belt. Well, I am a turtle, and im generally a happy reptile, but ive never been on a conveyor belt so I don't know about that statement…ooooo walmart, they have conveyor belts at check out. HERE I COME! Reindeers likely to burst out into dance and song spontaneously ARE the best kind. The only kind of reindeer I want on God's green earth in fact. Newho, thanks. Ly, you know the drill.**

**Ellen Dean: I was fanning myself writing that part…no really. I'm glad you agree….AHHHHHH vampires are sexy. Ahhhhh…WHY CAN"T YOU BE REAL!?**

**Letwordsfreeyou: big bad and scaries? Lol. I really think they should call them that. "the bigbadandscaries are coming!! Swim away. Swim away!" fluff is just…awww.**

**Shannon: Sorry…but I do recommend the hamstuffed trout. Had it the other day. On my not so hot date. Thanks! :D**

**Emberwillow: oooo I love it when people find new adjectives. Emmensely. Oooo I like it. Nehow, glad you like it…thanks. Blah bee dee blah.**

**Eliane: Yes, remind me to get a very very very good…scratch that…amazing excellent splendiferous editor when I become an actual writer. I've been working on getting a beta, but I just haven't gotten around to it. Glad you love it, tho…YAY**

**Angelfromhell: ahhh..white chocolate mocha from starbucks…want it. Now! Your comment made me blush…aww…**

**Polkadotjelly: glad you like it…love the pen name…smuckers should consider making it. **

**Clumsy: THANKS!! I thought so too. **

**Meyarose: errrrr…I feel dumb now. Errr…kindly look the other way and pretend like sparkling cider has caffeine in it…but yes…she was just high on life…that explaines it…yep…no mistakes here. Move along. :D**

**Albnal: mmmmm…cotton balls. Yummm. Part of a balanced diet. TENSION!!**

**Duckchick: I know…she whooped him at clue. AWWWW! Im glad you think. That's my biggest fear. OOCphobia. Thank you tho. And yes..your name inspired me. **

**Minimeyer: hold the spoons. HOLD THEM! STAY YOUR WEAPONS! Im terrified now though…are you happy? Thanks for the love tho…irony.**

**Nobodyparticular: My buildabear is green with envy…seriously that could be because he's a frog tho. Hmmm…Edward as a duck. I'd love Edward as any kind of bird. Even a flamingo. Thanks**

**Laurenbttwilightfan: thanks very much. And I am a fish, although you're the first to say smart, Im a tilapia. :D **

**Socialdistortionist: THANKS! Like I said, love specification. Alice…such a cool name specially since twilight came out. Workin on it.**

**Minilove4ever: like a reccecup. MUCHOS gracias. Come again**

**Thrushflightedward'sstalker: cool beans. Glad your comps. Fixed. If mine broke, I'd blow a circuit. **

**Toshimireiki: They put stuff in it I swear…some loopy inducing hereto undiscovered drug. Go Sparkling Cider! And thanks.**

**Dying inside: lol. You made me laugh. I like you. Yay. Neway. Glad your alive again…but uhhh…does this mean you're a zombie or what? Duck quacking classes at five Edward!! Edward: "awwww.crap."**

**Bella: Quackeedee quack quackers quack. That's thank you in duck.**

**Medivalaggression: I kno lol. Thanks for the review. Ly.**

**Mandja: wait no more! **

**Psych: definitely the latter. HAHA…newho, thanks for the review…ooo that rhymed. **

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen: tehehehe… good luck with the manhunt and the exams…I passed mine. Miraculously. I wish you the same luck…yay…newho..i loved his quack too. It was fun to write that part. I have a man now. I think he makes me so mad because his name is Jacob…lol.**

**Mattybabe THE NARWHAL: tehehehe…lol. Narwhals are amazing. Met with shamu yet. We had a chat yesterday. I told him I knew you, and he clapped his flippers together. :D good job, responsible pandy! **

**Phew!!**

I was waking up. That much was certain…or was it? I could hear birds chirping, a stream happily babbling in the vicinity. Bright summer light seeped under my lashes and temporarily blinded me. I squinted and groaned, and then threw my hand over my face to block this rude awakening.

But wait…my eyes shot open…why was the light so bright, and why were birds chirping, and why, in the name of all that was sane, was I in a big field?

"Good morning, sleepy head."

And why was an incredibly sexy voice addressing me as 'sleepy head'?

Turning sharply, I saw the answer to everything. The floodgates that slumber had induced were abruptly kicked over, and memories (excellent memories, might I add) came rushing back in a torrent.

The strong wall of granite muscle I was held against was six feet, three inches of sparkly male perfection. I could really get used to this.

"Prefer the wild outdoors to mattresses?" I asked.

He ruffled my hair. "Beds are overrated."

Somewhat awkwardly, seeing as I was still encased in the stone alcove of Edward's arms, I stretched and groaned.

I turned in his arms and blinked sleepily a few times.

He grinned crookedly. "Sleep hangs on you in the most adorable way."

I flushed and looked away. More memories came flooding back…with them, Edward's attempts at being a duck.

"I can't believe I actually made you quack," I groaned, before shooting him an apologetic look. "Sorry."

He chuckled. "It was endearing. I failed miserably though…I guess I'll have to work on it."

"Damn right you will. We've found the one thing that you can _not_ do," I paused. "farm animal impersonations!" I finished with a flourish.

"I think I'm going to take that as a compliment."

"You're just jealous."

He slanted his eyes. "Of course, because I always become envious of water fowl."

I snickered before proceeding to snuggle my face into his glittering neck. "Harry Winston would kill for you."

He laughed.

"You're like my own personal 400 karat diamond."

"Just 400 karats?"

I kissed his cheek. "A billion karats."

Suddenly, another memory hit me, the memory of what day this was.

"Edward," I chirped. "Guess what today is?"

Slowly, a smile spread across his face. "How could I forget? Though I thought _you_ had." He started toying with a dark lock of my hair.

"Nuh uh." I tried to wrap my tongue around the words, "We're getting married today."

My eyes desperately craved his expression. Looking up, they were greeted with the most amazing spectacle.

Edward was glowing, and not just because his vampirism made his skin glitter in the sunlight. His eyes were unfathomably happy, features exuding pure bliss. His orbs had a sort of…I struggled to come up with an adequate description – possessive finality in them. Getting married had been something of a daunting concept till now. Now, I would get married a thousand times over if I could just see Edward light up like this again.

"Oh, Bella," His voice choked as he crushed me to him. "My Bella. Oh God."

I reached my fingers up to poke his forehead. "My Edward," I told him, laughing.

A strangled sort of laugh uttered from his lips.

I hugged him to me with all my might, and let him rock me back and forth for a minute. _This_ was heaven.

"Alice is going to kill me."

And he just had to break it, didn't he…

"Alice who?" I asked.

He seemed perplexed. "My sister, your friend, exuberant, shopping psychic extraordinaire."

"You don't have a sister," I mumbled into his chest. "We don't know any shopping psychic extraordinaires."

"Even the one who's going to kill me if we're late for your getting ready to be married?"

"I'm sorry, but I really don't know what you're talking about."

He took a deep breath and sighed. "We can't stay here forever."

I glanced up at him skeptically. "Wanna bet?"

A grim smile touched the corners of his face. "So we can."

His lips descended to be throat. My heart was beating erratically. Why hadn't it been this easy a year ago? I tilted my head back some. I hadn't been bluffing.

I felt his breath on my neck, right by my pulse point, as he said, "I'm going to count to three."

I chuckled some. Such an ordinary thing for such an extraordinary event.

"One," Edward started. I could feel his teeth graze my skin. "Two…" My heart was frantically racing. He paused for a long second. "Two and a half…" I narrowed my eyes. "Two and three quarters." What the?

We were up to two and 146/154's before he said. "You'd actually let me do it," and then pulled away with a small peck on my throat.

I glared at him. "Duh."

"Break it up," a voice from nowhere snarled.

I groaned. Alice, it seemed, had taken matters into her own hands.

"Al – icceeeee." I turned towards her, and my protest caught in my throat. She looked ferocious, wind blowing her hair behind her like some sort of big, sparkly, deranged, demonic creature. "Just kidding," I squeaked.

"Alice," Edward reasoned, "It really doesn't take all that long."

"Shut it, buddy," she snapped. "You don't know a thing about it. We'll need at least five hours, and the caterers are not answering the phone, and the cake looks like the leaning tower of pisa," she counted off the problems on her fingers. "Oh yeah, Emmett went and bought a preacher's robes because somehow _he_ thinks that he's conducting the ceremony. And all you two can think of is dilly dallying around with the butterflies in a meadow. So…Don't. Start." Her eyes hurled daggers…more like grenades actually.

I gulped. "Maybe, I should…"

Edward cut me off. "This day is about her." His voice was demanding.

Alice looked like she was at a loss for words.

I stood. "Don't worry. I'll go quietly."

Edward never took his glare off of his sister. "You don't have to, Bella."

I leaned down and lightly kissed his forehead. "See you at 6:30."

Like a flash, his hand shot out to grab my wrist. He kept me there, scanning my eyes for any sign of hesitance. Finally satisfied with my acting, he let me go and I smiled at him.

He flashed me one of his dazzlers, and I almost swooned then and there before Alice roughly grabbed my hand and pulled me onto her back.

This was odd. I'd never ran with Alice before. Onlookers, if there were any, would think that she would have crumpled under my weight, but she didn't appear to be phased in the least.

Glancing back at Edward one time, we took off. Running with Alice was much, much more smooth…and…fun! Her dancer's steps transcended to here, as well, and she seemed to fly through the forest. She grumbled words too fast for me to hear the entire way home.

Somewhat more violent the necessary, in my opinion, she slung me off her back. "Upstairs," she commanded, pushing me in front of her. "March."

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Sir, yes, sir."

She growled, and I scurried up the stairs to her room.

Opening the door, I spied my wedding dress hung up on the rack in the middle of her room. The veil hung neatly beside it.

"Pierre did a great job, didn't he?" she asked.

I ran my hands over the silky mesh material, and nodded. "It's gorgeous."

"All right," Alice said. This time, her voice was joined by another voice – Rosalie's. "It's time." The tone in their voices was frighteningly foreboding.

They approached me, mascara, curling iron, and other cosmetic products held up threateningly, like weapons.

I backed up. "No!"

"Get her," Alice barked at Rosalie.

I bowed my head in defeat as I was unceremoniously dragged into the bathroom.

Little did I know that my disagreement would be the reason this process would take so long. No, Alice and Rosalie were entirely at fault for the delay.

"Lilac eyeshadow!" Rosalie insisted.

"No, bronze. Natural is in," Alice countered.

I had my face burrowed into my arms folded on the counter.

"Lilac will be prettier. It'll accent her eyes," Rose insisted.

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter!" I yelled.

They gasped simultaneously. This, unfortunately, seemed to be the only thing they agreed on.

In the end, Alice won the battle of the blushes, with rosy apricot. Rosalie won the lipstick showdown with retro red. Alice with her bronze eyeshadow, and Rosalie with the thick black eyeliner.

The next order of business, to my embarrassment, was underwear.

"This _definitely_ doesn't matter!"

They exchanged sly glances. "It will tonight," Alice chirped.

Blood rushed to my face, and I averted my eyes. "He said…he said we're not."

Rose looked outraged. "Is he insane? That's the entire point of marriage."

The psychic next to her thwapped her on the back of the neck. "Not quite."

"It's a perk," I agreed, "He said there wasn't time."

"How much time does he think it takes?" Rose asked. "With his repression, it won't take very long at all. He'll…"

"I get it," I interrupted.

"Well," Alice said, "you can wear whatever you want to then. You win _this_ round," she added through gritted teeth. I picked out a midnight blue, lacy ensemble.

Rose looked genuinely disappointed that I hadn't chosen the cheetah printed set.

On to the next step – the dress itself.

I gasped stepping into it. The reality of the situation finally caught up with me, and I wobbled.

"She's having a klutz moment," Alice warned. "Careful."

I gave her a fixed stare. "Just…butterflies."

"Oh...errr…deep breaths?" she suggested.

I laughed. "I don't think anything is going to quell them."

**A/N: ooooo my gosh. Sorry this one's a shorty. I'm a busy gal today. I'll get the next part, the wedding and such, in tomorrow or some time. Just a filler. People demanded more alice. TADA!! This, in my personal opinion, is the best filler I've ever written. Hope you like. R& R. and kindly read and review Possession and Possessed, a new story by Lily turtle. It's the best thing I've written, I think. Dark humor, it's James background story.**


	27. Chapter TwentyTwo ACTUALLY

Marriage

**Disclaimer: **Nope...it's 1:30...i don't even know what disclamer means at the moment. Stop talking to me horsey...errrrrr...NEED sleep.

**THANKDSthETYOUSOOOOO SLEEEEPPYYYY, BUT ILL DOIHEOIH SHOUDOUDS BECAUSE I LOVRERRR YOUOER**

**Eliane: Muchos gracias. That, my friend, was what you call the calm before the storm...or well, the fun before the storm? Yay...you specified. I love specification. It helps me write better. Glad you enjoyed. **

**Moonifrui: im sorry...i recomend a hot bath and epsom salt for those "stay up for six unhealthily worse than crack addictive hours" of reading fanfiction. Sighs...those were the days...when I didn't write the stuff. Newho, thank you very much. UBER glad you favorited it :D Come again!**

**Minilove4ever: awwww...i know. Glad you liked the funny factor...ooooo alliteration.**

**Jalice: i suppose im dead...i think its been longer than 72 hours...but hey, being dead's not so bad. I can go through walls now. Ooooo (hatches evil plan to steal shampoo from Walmart) Newho, happy to know you liked it. And did you mean EVER? As in ever, ever? Sorry I kept you up...or well, not... :D im tired right now...Sometimes I hink i see a burger in front of me...but there's nothing there. THANKS AGAIN.**

**Dyinginside: I would relinquish the shrubbery, but, for God's sake man! Hold on to the V8! Full serving of fruits and veggies? I mean, come on! You cant beat that. The ninjas will be like...Turbo charged on healthiness. I gave you some Emmett btw. Merry christmas. Happy hanakuh. Quanza...christmahanaquanza...watever. o and thanks!**

**Mattybabe: wawwwwwww (blushes) tell shamu i said thanks. He's a doll. Pandy ran away to join the circus. Im battling the court for him as we speak. The circus carnies wont give him up. He's a trapeze star...but they keep him locked up. I told himyou said hi in my two minute visitation hours tho. He said "Bamboo." In a very loving way, tho. Glad you loved my "brilliance" as you called it. :D thanks!**

**Thrushflightedwardsstalker: stupid fillers...i tend to skipthem and get to the main action, but ive been making myself write them for this story...neways, glad you liked it.**

**Kerssica: sooooo sleepy...slur. gurgle. Blup. (shrugs) Snaps for enhanced sledgehammers. They are the best kind...like me... and tigger...because HE"S THE ONLY ONE! (add music in mind please) oooo vamp in purple box would be lovely...along with a lifetime supply of jiff peanut butter if that can be arranged...gee willickers, santa is a lot more like the mafia than I thought. Scary concept, that one. Making his reindeer seduce people with beatboxing and all. GAH!! Ill pm you right away...bc ur email stil didnt appear. To your questions, IM GETTING THERE! Impatient. Impatient. (puts a slip of paper in the north poll suggestions box) Love you still, even though i dont know you, but my internet fanfictionheart lylas. Yes...las. I translated what you said on babbelfish...and blushed. Coolll...i like being a drug. **

**Saawariya: i couldn't tell if too much was meant in good or bad way, but o well, thanks for the review. Sleep...ahhhh...sounds nice. ALMOST THERE LILYYOU CAN DO IT! Moving right along, that sounded off to me too, but i really wanted him to say it, and that was the best way I could work out. Sry... glad it still made you giggle tho :D thanks for the input. Shall be considered. Come again soon!**

**Medivalagression: Muchos gracias...THANKS for the comments. Your welcome. Yaddah yaddah...too tired to think of clever response. Sincerest apologies.**

**Ellendean: ahh i kno. Together, they're like "a girl's best friend"...TEHEHEHE...punny. Newho, is your penname based off of wuthering heights perchance?**

**Meyarose: your reviews always baffle me... Thanks...errr (scratches head), I think. **

**CorinCullen: who knows...mwuhahaha...o, that's right, I do. Newho, glad you liked it. Ill take into considerartion your suggestion. Really glad you love it (beams like hummer headlights) Thank you very much!**

**Starlitenite: plot mungerer...that's right. Im accusing you of being a plot mungerer along with the rest of them! Lol. Jk i don't care. I'll write it and explain all your questions later. I do have a plan...i kno it may not seem that way, but Ido...honest. Thanks so much for the review. Ly. :D**

**Angelfromhell: 5 am...scary concept right now. If i stay up till five am, i might explode. Pasta...mmmm...speaking of which, I do believe its time for some chef boyardi. Newyas, i feel special that you read it (blushes). Operation wedding GO!**

**Socialdistortionist: awww...enchanting...(dabs at tears) thank you. And no, not plain...but when i heard alice before, i thought of terrifying cats with no bodies, queens trying to behead me, and that damn irritating "painting the roses red" song. Now, I think of alice, and then Twilight, and it makes me happy. I always thought it was perty tho. I just hated alice in wonderland with a blazing passion.**

**Jjrenee: lol. That it does...and sometimes rose is like confucius...only with pg13 related subjects. Muchos gracias.**

**Futremrsedwardcullen: no...his name is really jacob. Maybe that's why im dating him...I try not to think about it. Lol. U cant see her saying that? I dont know why, but i just can somehow. Thats okay tho. To each her own. EDWARD COME BACK TO ME! Neways thanks, ly, YAY!**

**Albnal33: Thank you. I thought so too. Now, ive got to try to keep that standard. **

**Nobodyparticular: YAY! Glad you like. Thanks for the review. Did it snow where you live?**

**Supernaturalgirl: YAY...more specification. Sry, i just love it a lot. Makes me happy to know i have some sort of effect on people. I really try hard to pull readers into stories. Neways, thank you very much madameuosille. Ly, come again plz! :D**

Marriage. I'd put it off and put it off...and now there was barely enough time for the act.

I felt selfish right then, looking at myself in Rosalie's mirrors (in the plural because three walls in her closet were devoted to them). Selfish for denying this part of myself to Edward and for making such a big deal about it. I was already his. I knew that. All he wanted was to make it official – get it in writing, and I just had to be stubborn.

I surveyed my future sisters' handiwork for the umpteenth time today. My dress was all lace and sweeps, the soft, natural makeup accenting it and me perfectly.

"Hey Anne," I joked to myself quietly, and I certainly looked it. My ensemble suggested that I had stepped right out of the book.

My hair, fortunately, was the only thing saved from being green-gables-afied, as I called it. No ringlets, just a smooth modern updo. It was elegantly caught above my neck in a gorgeous tarnished silver and pearl clasp. My fingers lifted of their own volition to touch the twisting bands of yet another possession of Elizabeth Mason's. Edward's mother had had really good taste.

I hadn't donned the veil yet. For some reason, it reminded me of good-byes, and I couldn't bear to think of good-byes right now, faced with the prospect of telling my husband one, possibly permanent – _No,_ my mind quickly scolded itself.

"Bella," a soft voice floated to my ears.

My eyes shot to the glass, to see the reflection of the speaker.

"Mom," I greeted Renee, turning around and running to her. "You made it!"

I threw my arms around her.

"Honey, you look _gorgeous_!"

Leaning back to observe her reaction, I noted tears running down her cheeks. "What's wrong?"

"Just...happy tears, I promise," she breathily replied. "I was watching our home videos downstairs. Do you remember when you were little how you used to hate baths and you would run around the house naked as a jay bird whenever Charlie and I tried to give you one?" She wiped the moisture off her face, then pointed to her heavily lined eyes. "Good thing I brought the water proof stuff."

I smiled and nodded. I'd seen that video a hundred times. And then, the mother-daughter reunion moment was promptly squashed by mortification. "Downstairs?" I demanded.

Renee looked guilty.

"_This_ downstairs?"

She nodded.

Right on cue, the blood rushed to my cheeks. "Who was there?"

My mother looked down at her wiggling feet. It was a nervous habit she had developed. "Just...a few people. They're almost our family, Bella, really. Esme's very nice...and her husband, the doctor...Dr. – What's his name?"

"Esme was there? Carlisle?" My voice had grown high pitched and squeaky in my panic.

"Carlisle." My mom snapped her fingers. "That's it."

"Who else?" The tone of my voice suggested that there would be hell to pay should she decide to plead the fifth to this question, not that there wouldn't be any less hell to pay if she did answer.

"That muscular boy...Emmett, I think."

I groaned. I'd never hear the end of it. "And?" I urged.

"Alice and Rosalie came down after a while."

So, that's where they were...

"And that quiet one, Jasper!"

Dramatically, I sunk to the floor and buried my face in my hands. "How could you? My life is...they are going to..." My sentence was finished with a sigh. "At least Edward didn't see." Not that Emmett wouldn't be only all too happy to relay it to him mentally, but still...first-hand was far worse.

From my position on the floor, I could see my mother's feet wobbling precariously, like Jell-O. I gave her a glare to melt glaciers. "He didn't, right?"

"Well..." she began.

"Oh my God!" I cried, before returning my face to my palms. The family that I was going to spend _eternity_ with, literally, had engraved into their super vampire memories images of a two-year old me running around my house in Phoenix stark naked.

"By the way, Edward looks dashing Bella," she said by way of apology.

I moaned.

"They thought it was funny."

I glowered. I should have known that my blush-less, outgoing, done-everything-under-the-Sun mother wouldn't know the meaning of "embarrassment". Right now, I could only pray that my vampire power was memory eraser.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my veil, and was once again reminded of how silly and selfish I was being. This was Edward's big day, my beloved family was going off to war, and my mom had flown in all the way from Florida on short notice; these were probably some of my last moments with her. And here I was, on the floor, sniveling like an idiot.

"Bella, I'm sorry," Renee stammered. "I thought you'd laugh, and I wanted to watch them at the hotel, but there wasn't a DVD player, so I just..."

I cut off her babbling with a hug. "It's okay Mom. I'm just all nerves today."

"Honey, I know," she said, "I just...I mean...are you sure you're ready for this?"

"I love him, Mom." My voice took on a defensive tone.

She looked like she was biting her tongue, staying the words she wanted to say to me.

"Just spit it out," I said.

Renee took a nervous breath. "Bella, sweetie, I – I know that it feels that way now, but you're young. You're just a teenager. You can't know what true love is yet." She unwisely stroked my cheek.

Swiftly, I pulled myself out of her reach. "Are you questioning my love for him?" I was outraged.

She sighed. "It's just...you act like you need each other so much. Charlie told me what happened when he left you. That kind of infatuation..." I didn't miss her choice of noun. "It isn't healthy."

I hated to sound cliché. I really did, but circumstance called. "It's not infatuation, Mother," I spat. "It's love, and I think that real, true love isn't supposed to be healthy."

"But Bella..."

I ignored her, caught up in the bliss of my epiphany. "I'd give my life for him in a second," I continued. "Surely that isn't healthy, but it _is_ love. _He's more myself than I am_," I smiled as I quoted _Wuthering Heights_, "I'm not delusional, see. I'm perfectly aware that love isn't the pure, white, frilly stuff you see in the movies. It's work and it hurts sometimes, but...the point is that I need him. I'll always need him, and married or not, nothing can change that."

Renee looked stricken. A slap to the face couldn't have done it better. "Bella, I..." She paused, speechless.

"So, try to be happy for me, okay?" I playfully nudged her with my elbow, trying to lighten the mood.

It worked. She pulled me to her in a hug, tears freely rolling down her face again. "Oh, baby, I am."

Sniffling, she held me at arm's length. "I love you."

I could feel tears welling up, but I struggled to stop them. Unlike my mother's, my makeup was _not_ water-resistant. "Love you, too."

She glanced at her sterling silver linked wristwatch. "Six o' clock."

I inhaled shakily. Knowledge of the time had knocked the breath out of my lungs and set the butterflies loose to flutter around in my stomach. "Let's go."

Miraculously, I made it to the bottom step before I was assaulted. An irritating, tux-sporting vampire named Emmett swept me up into a bone-crunching bear hug and swung me around a few times.

"Thank you for existing!" he exclaimed, before setting me on my feet. He swiped a nonexistent tear from his left eye. "Those videos were...possibly...no, definitely the best moments of my life." He walked over to my mother and clasped her small hand in both his large ones, shaking it vigorously. "Thank you so much," he told her, pretending to be choked up. "I will forever be indebted to you." To finish, he bowed. Renee giggled.

Next up, was Jasper, who bestowed a much more polite and gentler version of Emmett's hug to my still blushing self. "You did make quite a charming toddler, I must say."

At this rate, the wedding guests were all going to think I had a bad sunburn.

"But really," he said quietly, "Thank you." His eyes spoke novels. "For what you've done for him."

"For what you've done for us," Carlisle corrected from behind Jasper, Esme at his side.

"It's been a very long time since we've felt this..." I could tell Esme was choosing her words carefully because of Renee's presence.

"Accepted," Carlisle finished. "You've truly completed our family."

At the moment, the sight of my face would make even the ripest apple weep for envy.

Carlisle and Esme held out hands for me to shake. I ignored them, and instead threw my arms around the both of them. They seemed taken aback at first, but slowly their two cold arms patted my back in a parental hug.

"Thank _you_," I said.

"Ready Bella?" Alice sang, dancing towards me.

"More than I was."

"Good enough for me," she said. "Where's Charlie?"

I scanned the room for my father.

"And Carlisle!" she exclaimed. "You're conducting the ceremony! Get out there now!"

Carlisle gestured to Alice and then looked at me. "And you're certain you want to be a part of this family?"

"One-hundred percent," I laughed.

Eyes twinkling merrily, he tucked a Bible under his arm, opened the door, and strolled out onto the lawn.

"Awww man," I heard Emmett grumble. "I wanted to do it."

"Maybe next time," I joked.

He rolled his eyes.

"Charlie!" Alice called frantically. "_Charlie_!"

My puffy-eyed father poked his head around the bathroom door. I winced.

He'd been crying.

"I'm here," he said, pulling on a brave face.

He silently came to stand beside me. The music began, and from that point, time sped up.

People were there in the room with me, and then they weren't, scurrying around Charlie and I stoically standing unmoving in the center. The number of occupants in the room steadily decreased as they walked out the back door in their designated order.

I had still not donned my veil. It was innocently draped over the edge of the dining room table.

Renee kissed my cheek before exiting the room. Now, only Charlie and I remained, and I still didn't have my veil on.

Charlie didn't give me a chance to "forget" about it. He picked it up, walked over, and slowly pinned it to my hair. When he was done, he somberly pulled one layer down to cover my face.

Good-byes...they couldn't be avoided now. This would be the first of many.

"Ready?" Charlie croaked out.

I gave him a small smile and kissed him on the cheek. "Love you, Dad."

He beamed, and I could see the iron determination in his features not to cry.

He pulled me to him in a hug. "I love you too, Bells. And I'm glad...I'm happy for you, as long as you're happy."

I wrapped my arms around him awkwardly. "I'm happy."

"Then," he said, pulling back, "you've got a wedding to get to." He choked out one hollow laugh. He offered me his arm with an uncharacteristic flourish.

I smiled and took it. Charlie opened the door, and the wedding march filled the air.

The aisle was much, much longer than I had pictured. That was mainly due to the hundreds of guests. Both ways I looked, there was a sea of people. I staggered a little. Rosalie and her damned heels. There was no way, not if I practiced every day, that I could make it down this petal-covered walkway of doom without stumbling.

Even if I would ruin the pretty picture she had painted, I had to admire Alice's work with the place. It was beautiful, a fairy tale. The theme was clearly powder blue and pearl. Classic romance.

The chairs on each side were wrought from some sort of dusty silver metal. I imagined that they had cost a few hundred dollars a piece.

Lily petals were scattered on the white stone walkway in front of me. White candles in tall stands lined it on either side. Poles had been erected at either end and down the sides of the seating areas. And across these were invisible lines strung with softly illuminating white lanterns. It was like walking through a cathedral constructed of frozen fireflies and silver.

The air was sweet and warm, and beyond the wide arch where Edward stood, I could make out a faint sliver of orange sun. Twilight.

I smiled. How fitting.

Finally, I brought my gaze to my husband. I might as well call him that now.

The moment my eyes landed on his figure, my breath caught in my throat and my feet were welded to the ground. He was looking at me in awe. I'm sure I had a similar expression on my face.

My mom had been right. He did look dashing in his suit, with his arms folded in front of him, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. Through my dazzlement, I beamed at him. This time, he looked dazzled, too.

Charlie quietly cleared his throat beside me, and I began to slowly walk...or was I floating?

I couldn't tell. I was entangled in the blissful snare of Edward's butterscotch eyes, and I never wanted to escape. Sometimes, I noted, Edward would shuffle his feet or tug on the cuffs of his dress shirt.

I smiled. When it came down to it, he was just as nervous as I was.

I barely acknowledged the feeling of Charlie kissing my cheek and then unlinking our arms to take his seat. I just kept walking, making my way towards the angel who, in a few minutes, would be mine all mine. I lifted my dress to proceed up the five short steps separating us. Edward took my hands in his when I reached the top.

I could have stood there forever. Unfortunately, Carlisle spoke. Now that I was properly given away, it was time to get the formalities over with.

**A/N: MY GOD!! Why is this taking forever. Hey, at least we're there now. Right? Right?! Don't hate me. So, I just realized what a detail OCD person I am. But...errr...next chapter out tomorow...or well, since its 1:30 am, today i guess. Love you all. Tell me what ya think. I just had to...As bella so rightfully thought "get the formalities over with". Look out for these next few chapters. I promise mushiness, OODLES of drama, comedy, and actioney/adventure stuff...hmmmm...why the last one? :D you'll see. 62 favs. 92 alerts baby!**


	28. Chapter TwentyThree ACTUALLY

Disclaimer: Sometimes, I dream I own it, but then I wake up and life is monotonous once more

**Disclaimer: **Sometimes, I dream I own it, but then I wake up and life is monotonous once more.

_**Muchos Gracias, as usual...THANK YOU times infinity and one**_

**Minimeyer: lol...alrighty then. Volvo counting? Well, if it was a sport, i suppose youd win the gold medal, my friend. :D... how may I ask did you make a Jasper, and where can I? I like pie too. French silk is my fave...errrr...thanks!**

**Transfiguration: Awwwww (blushes) just...awwww...wow. Thanks. You might be a bit dissapointed with this chap. DONT HURT ME! I still love you...you were my favorite class at Hogwarts...**

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen: YAY FOR FRIENDS! It's nice to have friends. HIS NAME REALLY IS JACOB! I swear on my grave. I lovedddd your pm. I cracked up for like a week. No ice cream...that's just sad. Ill have pandy stop at walmart on the way. Darn...i like gangstas...am one. We call ourselves (drum roll please) the BUTTERFLIES! Lol. Cya thanks**

**Albnal33: thanks. I tried. Tehehehe...had to put some comedic relief SOMEWHERE. And that's why i keep emmett around. **

**Meyarose: again with the bafflement! The first part I get, but the ellipses. Dot, dot, dot can mean so many things. Like "I'm going to kill you now", or "Walk my dog, will you?" or "It feels like rain." You never cease to keep my on my toes...thank you.**

**Nobodyparticular: I always get this fuzzy feeling when i know ive affected people some how. :D (ching) Newho, NOOOO i was so pissed. **

**Jalice14: I like that phrase...use it in everyday conversation actually. Maybe that's why they shipped me off, and my friends look at my strangely...hmmm...AWWWWWW!! THANK YOU! Bc shampoo is the bomb diggity. Hello, smells good anddddd makes your hair silky and smooth. But, if itll make you feel better, Ill pick up some ketchup and mustard along with a lava lamp.**

**Dyinginside: :D ROSALIE NOOOO!! Hide dying, HIDE! Newho, of course ill join your V8 revolt. I stand for all things vegetable! We can attack with heads of lettuce or something. THANK YOU **

**Eliane: kk...YAY (blushes) Thank you.**

**Polkadotjelly: FINE! Oh impatient one...but since you said the magic word. Lol...jk. Come again. Thnx**

**Allyg1990: thank you very much. And in all caps too. Snaps for specification. Wait no more...well, until you finish. Ditto on the smiley. **

**Dangermagnet: no im sorry, what was that? No, i dont think i quite undrestand you? A bit louder? Ahhhhh...Snore?! I dont snore...lol. jk. Your wish is my command. Enjoy.**

**Mattybabe: Well, thanks to your signs, I got him back, but he hung a rope from my ceiling fan and now trapezes around my dorm room. I commanded him to teach you tho. YAY BRILLIANCE...lol action, indeed. Pandy should have a brief cameo i think...lol. thank you.**

**Angelfromhell: cool...been there. Done that. And then I collapse...kno the feeling. Lol tell keisha i said hi. U share Edward? Is that possible/ sanitary? Mmmmmm mnms...yum. THANK YOU.**

**Angelgirl44: muchos gracias my friend. **

**Thrushflightedwardsstalker: Yes, yes, indeed. The evil one has no place in their wedding...are you KIDDING ME? Lol. Except for a little eensy one here. Bella and Jacob are officially banned from kissing ever again according to me. And thanks.**

**Clumsy318: THANK YOU!! I liked the word you used. **

**Selle: O. Mi. God. MY LONG LOST COUSIN!! Of couse we're related...lol. We wondered where you went...did you run away? Get shipwrecked? Eaten by wild Canadian goats? As always, I try to comply with reader's wants to an extent, so happy birthday...:D**

Chapter 23

Our vows, we kept simple and sweet. In all honesty, I completely winged mine. Somewhere between the life/death situations, they'd slipped my mind. I felt it was understandable, though.

Ours were similar in many ways, simply both of us telling the other that we loved and needed them.

Edward rattled off some double-meaning clichés about "spending forever with you", with a twinkle in his eye. I finally confessed that he was my world, and we both squeezed the other's hand as we said that we couldn't live without each other. How I'd uttered such gooiness remained a mystery for a while, just more proof that love can turn a world around.

His voice was velvet, yet firm, when he leaned his face in close, eyes smoldering to say the two words that would forever bind me to him. "I do."

Now, it was my turn...not a problem. "I do." I smiled. For better or worse, but hopefully better, he was mine.

The second the words were out of my mouth, Edward lit up, and my mouth gaped open...again.

Topaz eyes closed, he tilted his face to the heavens, as if saying a silent prayer to God. But his eyes were locked with my amazed ones before I could be sure he actually moved at all.

Joy and bliss radiated from every invisible pore of his face. I was halfway expecting to be blinded by heavenly light when he opened his mouth.

Slowly, identical beams spread across our faces. I could've laughed and danced around the place if it wouldn't have ruined the ceremony.

Pshhhh...Who was I kidding? The only reason I wasn't doing such activities was because it would remove me from my husband, and that was unacceptable.

Leaving Edward... my smile faltered, but quickly returned to its former glory when I pushed that irritating subject from my mind.

I barely heard Carlisle pronounce us man and wife as we stood under that white arch adorned with blue roses. I had to remember to thank Alice for the flower choice. Blue roses – a timeless concept with a new, unique twist, just like Edward and I.

"You may kiss the bride," Carlisle softly addressed the groom.

I heard him whisper "gladly" as he pulled me to him with one hand.

In the Kiss Hall of Fame, if there was such a thing, I felt that the one Edward and I shared that moment ought to be inducted. It was soft, gentle, and cold... but, in an age-old paradox, it was closest that I ever came to catching on fire.

He kept his lips glued to mine until chastity (I could've snorted) demanded him to pull away, but not without softly tugging on my bottom lip first.

The audience clapped, and for the first time, I looked out at the crowd assembled.

The first thing I noticed was not someone I expected or really wanted to see... there in the front row was a recently-crippled werewolf sitting in one of Alice's outrageously expensive chairs like no one's business. I couldn't guess why he had come, except to ruin the day, but he hadn't objected when he had been given the chance.

Jessica Stanley sat beside him, looking close to tears.

Jacob seemed to notice my gaze, for he smiled sadly. And there, in the nighttime, I saw a little slice of the Sun I'd once possessed again. I couldn't help but smile back, and then glanced at Edward, brows furrowed.

He shrugged, and mouthed "I invited him". Sighing, I shook my head, but couldn't bring on the ire that should've accompanied it.

Strangely, I could hear a low-key keening behind me. Edward's head whipped to look at a whistling Alice, and I watched in horror as his lips slowly covered his teeth, and descended further downward into a frown. There was fear in his eyes.

He turned to give Jasper and Carlisle a pointed look. Leaning in closer, I whispered into Edward's ear, "What's happening?"

He plastered on a smile, a dim replica of his earlier one, and swept me off my feet into his arms.

The crowd laughed as he carried me back down the candlelit walkway towards his house, but this was no laughing matter. Something was seriously wrong.

Behind me, I could hear Jasper's soothing voice. I kept the appearance of an ecstatic bride as I pulled on Edward's lapels.

Jasper's words were confusing to me, the one that had been, once again, left out of the loop.

"Ladies and gentleman, as honored guests, you have each received a free, no expense paid vacation to Cancun. Unfortunately, due to bad weather, tonight will be the only day for a few weeks that you will be able to fly out. You won't need anything, as every necessity has been pre-arranged at your destination."

The rest of Jasper's speech was cut off when Edward kicked the door open, and I gulped, carried me over the threshold, though not in the way I wanted him to.

The moment his foot crossed into the house, his fake smile disappeared, and his features grew tight and enraged.

"Plan on telling me _why_ you kidnapped me?" I asked, as he carried me up the stairs.

"Complications," was his annoying, thought-provoking reply.

"Stop being vague. I'm in this, too."

He chose to not comply with my first demand, and only respond to my second statement. "You are certainly not."

I gripped his jacket and pulled myself up to better yell at him. "You can't keep things from me anymore, Edward. Damnit, I'm your _wife_!"

He stopped on the stairway and glanced down at me, those breathtaking eyes of his bottomless once again. "Say that again, please."

"You can't keep things from..."

He cut me off. "No, the other part."

Blood rushed to my cheeks, and the butterflies had a seizure when they realized his sudden possessiveness. "I'm your wife," I repeated softly.

His eyes closed, and he looked like he was – there was no other way to say this – basking. I could feel his shudder.

"God, I love you," he cried, when his eyes opened.

My hand lifted to tuck a stray hand of unruly bronze hair. "Love you more."

"Not possible."

"Well, let's just go ask the resident empath so I can prove it to you."

He chuckled.

"Of course, though," I continued, "I can think of a hundred-thousand better ways I can prove it to you."

Now, we'd reached his room, and he kicked open this door, too. Esme was going to have a fit.

"They involve..." I started, then glanced around the room. The first object my eyes fell on was a blue-rose petal covered bed. This was a new one, huge, four-poster, with white sheers pulled to the sides. "A bed," I finished breathlessly.

He set me down, ever so softly, on the downy comforter. I ran my hands over the fabric. Embroidered vines were intricately winding over it.

"I thought you said that there wouldn't be enough time," I told the air, seeing as Edward was rummaging through a closet on the far end of the room.

His silent footsteps returned him to me, and my heart split somewhat as I saw his downcast eyes. In his cold, agile hands rested a small, dark wooden box. A letter was held to the lid by a crimson ribbon neatly tied into a bow.

"Edward..." I started.

Before me, he dropped to his knees, all the way to the floor, and set the box gracefully on my lap.

Gradually, his eyes lifted up to me. "I'm so sorry, Bella." He looked like he could cry if he could.

Why was he sorry? He'd wanted this for forever. "What?" I asked. "Why?" My voice sounded broken.

"That there's no time to give you what you want. I want to, Bella, really. I want _you_. And I apologize that I rushed this against your will...that it wasn't perfect." He rested his face against my knees. "I'm so sorry."

I ran my fingers through his hair. "Look at me," I commanded.

He obeyed, looking as a criminal facing an executioner. I continued. "You think I care about that stuff. I care about you, and being with you forever. And, while I'm sure you'd disagree, all that matters to me is what you want. So," I lightly brushed his cheek, "please don't be sad."

He smiled his crooked smile, and I returned it. "Now," I scrutinized him with my eyes, "What's in the box?"

"You can't open it yet," came his reply.

I threw myself down on the bed. "Again with the vagueness. Am I going to open this and have something jump out at me, or find out your a spy, or what?!"

Edward's face came into my view. He was hovering over top of me. "The second one sounds right," he said, brushing his lips over my forehead.

"Cullen," I quoted. "Edward Cullen."

He laughed, and then was blinded by something soft covering my face.

"What?" I cried, grabbing the fabric and removing it. It was a pair of jeans and my favorite T-shirt.

"Put those on."

I followed his voice across the room, until I finally found him holding the bathroom door open for me. I set the box to the side and rose.

"Not until you tell me what's going on."

"Things are just happening much, much earlier than planned."

I cocked my head to the side, but then reality hit. "The war, you mean..."

Solemnly, he nodded.

"Where am I going?"

"Cancun," he said, eyes directly staring into mine, daring me to challenge him.

"With you?" I asked him.

He looked away. It was all the answer I needed.

I threw the clothes across the room. "Fat chance." I knew it was all talk though.

"Fine," he said, stalking towards me with the calm measured pace of a predator. Baser instincts told me to step backwards. "Then, you'll go as you are. Bottom line, Bella: you _are_ going."

A glint in his eye told me he wasn't joking. I gave him the evil eye. "You wouldn't dare."

I gulped as he started circling me. "Wouldn't I?" he challenged.

I shook my head. Edward was trying to intimidate me, but it wouldn't work. An idea suddenly popped into my head. Could I pull it off? Could I really sink that low?

My head bowed. "I knew you'd do it again." Indeed, I could.

Behind me, I could sense his pause. "Do what?"

"Separate us for my own safety."

Mere milliseconds passed before he was cradling me against him. "No, Bella, God no. It's not like that. This is...Bella, it's a war! Bloodthirsty vampires are coming here tonight. It's dangerous, more dangerous than I could ever be. Please, Bella, do this for me." His voice sounded sad, and I instantly regretted my plan of action. "For me?"

Against his chest, I nodded. "You have to do something first, though."

He waited.

"Help me get this dress of," I commanded.

His laughter set the smile back on my face. "Turn around, Mrs. Cullen."

I shivered when he said my new name, but did as I was told. He started to unlace the corset top, and my heart sped up twentyfold. I felt a cold hand come to touch that spot on my chest where my heart was flying. And my heart rate doubled again when his chin came to rest on my shoulder. "Your heart's racing again," he said.

"Has it...done that a lot tonight?" I asked shakily. His hand was still right there.

"It rarely slowed," he told me, and I blushed. "Don't be embarrassed," he continued. "If my heart could beat, I think it would surpass yours right now."

I smiled. He removed his hand and chin and continued to undo the back of my dress. When he reached my lower back, I felt his cold fingertips brush my skin. I shuddered. "Now," he said, "Off to the bathroom with you."

The clothes were dangling from a finger held above me. I, however, would win this battle.

Before he could stop me, I pushed the dress down, where the lace pooled at the floor, and turned around to face Edward in my midnight blue lingerie.

He looked like he was in shock as his eyes scanned me from head to toe. I felt the fabric brush me as the clothes he had been holding fell to the floor.

A temptresses' smile graced my face. "Bella..." he whispered.

Then, he smacked his hand over his eyes and backed away, pointing to the direction of the restroom. "Bathroom. Now. Go!"

I smiled as I picked up the clothes and skipped off in the appointed direction to change.

A/n: Alright, so i lied...some things came up...but oooooo, this chapter is my gift to all you dirtyminded readers (100! 100 alerts and only 18 reviews...you people should be ashamed of yourselves)


	29. Chapter TwentyFour ACTUALLY

Occasionally, there are times in your life when you can feel, in an utmost tangible way, bits and pieces flying off of yourself – feel yourself unraveling

**Disclaimer:** Oh, how I loathe thee!

_**Really...just WOW to all my amazing, splendiferous reviewers. As much gratitude as I can hold: it all goes out to you.**_

**Melody Cullen: Read the rest you big bozo...lol. Jk. Ly. O i know...they're so fun to write about I swear. Im sad that I can't put them in my own book. That's how fun they are. THANKS**

**Marikaemmie: Don't die. Please...puppy dog pout. Yay favorites. Amazing how one little number can just lift your spirits. Nehow, thanks.**

**Waiting2bediscovered: Why of course I am...sorry it took forever.**

**TopazWonder: AWWWW!! (blushes furiously...Seriously. I think I'm beating Bella here.) Diabolical! OMC...how i love new adjectives. STOP WITH THE WHIP...ouchie...lol. Thanks for the hug and the review...even though i almost got crushed. Thanks again. I'm touched. IM A FANPIRE. **

**Shadow-wolves: I didn't mean you (pouty face). I ly like an antelope loves grass (AKA: a lot). Kk. And thnx.**

**Dyinginside: GOOOO ninjas! SAVE HER! Monty python gets me right here evertime (cackles). I think you won them over tho...They're partial to zombies...YAY FOR HILLS. Ill grab my tomahtoes, tomatos, potahtoes, and potatos, and bang coconuts with you. WHATTT is your favorite color?!**

**Eliane: YAY and darn...you caught me. I was so absurdly nervous about writing it, and so worried about getting the emotions down that I forgot to describe most of what was going on in my head. However, I plan on editing, revising, and then posting this story in a shorter format later on, so I'll put it in there.**

**Duckchick: muchos gracias. I'd always wondered why no one hadn't, so I decided I would :D. **

**Transfiguration: lol. Glad for it. Who says the war will be over? Who says the vampires will win? ;) I'm surprised that no one got your name, tho. Twilighters are usually into the harry potter scene too.**

**Nobodyparticular: True that homie. True that. Lol. LY thanks. There would be like one big giant pic of him spanning all four walls, a shrine to Edward. Ahhhhhh...**

**Minimeyer: Yes actually, with an axe...jk. ur one of my faves. HOW DO YOU DO THAT? Fantasize about anything more than twilight? I am honestly impressed. Pencils are neato! Yes, i did say that. Have you seen the bendy ones? If not, I'll get you one for christmas. They rock!**

**Emberwillow14: bad indeed. Not pixies...Unseely! lol. U people really have to brush up on your scottish mythology. Google Sidhe and Unseely if you dare! Mwuhahah. They're like...errr...well, just as hot as vampires, only not human at all, mischeivuous...Just bear with me here till i can further describe them in the story. THANK YOU!! As well.**

**Angelgirl44: lol. Thanks. Smiley right back atcha.**

**Mattybabe: Creator of brilliance? :D i like that. I didn't invent brilliance, but i did invent the brilliant sandwhich! Lol. Who knows...yes...pandy's going in bella's Vera Bradley java blue duffle. May the pandaness be with you too homeslice! Lol LY thanks.**

**Jalice14: NEVER...i just got ur penname jasper plus alice equals JALICE! Lol. Thank you for the specification again. YOUR AWESOME...SMILE ON! Jalice, smile on! THANKS**

**Supernaturalgirl: numbers just toooooo complicated rite now. AWWW well, shucks. Uve got my ego incredibly high. Thanks, lol. Just think of all those ENDLESS, HOT possiblities. (snickers as you faint). Newho, ly, thank you.**

**Angelfromhell: tehehehe, Who said edward was going to live to change her? MWUHAHAHA! I have the power. Do you believe me? Or do I just want you to? Hmmmm...possible, yes. Sanitary? Highly doubtful. O and thanks**

**Allyg1990: Cooing is cool. Like a pigeon...hardee har har. SOOOO tired. Lol. Glad you laughed. Im going to go be ridiculous somewhere away from people now. Tehe. THANK you very much.**

**Jjrenee: i don't know realy. When Bella gets back, we'll have to test this theory. I like the borrowed line. IT's incredibly, sadly enough, true. Lol. Neways, many thanks.**

**Meyarose: Oh my...ur doing it again...O THE NEVERENDING BAFFLEMENT! (thnx)**

**PoppyleafEdward'sStalker: WHOA there NELLY! Werent you just thrushflightedward'sstalker...this is going to take some getting used to. Lol. I know. I know that 700 people have read it, but i only get a few reviews. Hmmmm... so, newho, lol, glad u liked. Thanks again. Toodles.**

**Psych: ELLIPSES ARE THE BEST EVER! Neways, moving on, thank you.**

**Moonifrui: Cool beans. Oh My Carlisle, thanks!**

**Clumsy318: awwww...blushes...thanks.**

**Starlitenite: hmmm...i have a storyline i think you guys will enjoy. I want to write the battle bad. But there'll be some twists and turns, and well..you'lls see (see underlined text)**

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELATEDLY!! Yay, i feel all warm and fuzzy knowing that. Ill make you a cake, and panda wants to know what flavor ice cream? Did you read my pm? And of course you can be a butterfly. The secret code word is "lemon juice"...shhh, don't tell. THANK YOUUBERSUPERDEEDUPERHUGS happy b day**

**Hibiscusqt: awww thanks. Man am i a sucker for the vampire eyes. (blushes) oh alright, ill write some more. Thanks for the not werewolf comment. Tehehe. THANK YOU AGAIN!!**

Chapter 24

Occasionally, there are times in your life when you can feel, in an utmost tangible way, bits and pieces flying off of yourself – feel yourself unraveling stitch by stitch.

For Edward's sake, I struggled to keep the bits loosely bound together. Truthfully, I felt like an unopened potato chip bag that was being crunched repeatedly, deceivingly cohesive on the outside, but on the inside...

I had changed clothes, and I was ready to go in the physical sense. Emotionally, I'd never be able to leave, but Edward didn't need to know that.

Currently, my husband and I were inching towards a small airport just outside of Forks in his silver Volvo. The Port Angeles one had been crammed with wedding guests that Jasper and Kate (apparently her power was influence) had convinced to spend a week in Mexico. The pilots, out of "extreme generosity" had all agreed to change their flight plans at once.

Let's see: my bridal shower had been a sweaty moment in a consignment shop parking lot, my wedding an evacuation maneuver, and my reception would be a lonely plane ride; on my wedding night, my husband and I would be miles apart. As I surveyed the fiasco wedding I had previously undergone, I could feel Edward's scorching eyes on my face. He hadn't looked at the dark road in ten minutes, and as I glanced out the window, I was sure I had seen that street sign twice.

The situation I was in, however, held back the reprimands to keep his eyes on the road...or maybe, somewhere deep in my subconscious, I was hoping he would wreck because somewhere even deeper, I'd rather die than leave him.

"Edward, we've passed Benny's Pizza Parlor twice."

"And we'll pass it a hundred more times if you continue to not speak to me," came his desperate reply.

"I'm just thinking." The box he had given me was still in my lap. I noticed that whenever he gave a particularly sharp turn, something inside would rattle around. He had forbid me to open it till I was on the plane. My curiosity was burning, and my fingers stroked the smooth scarlet ribbon of their own will.

He grabbed my criminal hand and brought it to his lips, eyes still forsaking the highway in front of him. "About what?" he asked as he softly kissed each of my fingers.

I averted my gaze. "Us."

"You're not thinking about divorcing me already, are you?" he teased.

"Depends," I teased back.

"Upon?"

"What kind of guys there are in Cancun, of course."

"Bella..." he warned. "Am I really going to have to kill all the men in Mexico, or will you behave?"

A small smile touched one corner of my lips. I was glad he was taking this as a joke. Any more seriousness and my potato chip bag might just rip open. "Define 'behave'."

Edward gave a dark chuckle. "No dying, no _almost_ dying, for God's sake stay away from any more mythical creatures you might encounter, keep walking to a minimum," I glared at him on this one. He continued, "stay away from sharp objects and construction zones...would you like me to draw you up a list?"

I laughed a little. "You know it won't help any. Trouble finds me, remember? You're going against fate here."

"You could try to help me fight it sometimes." His voice turned darker. "I'm serious, Bella. If you are returned to me with a bump or bruise of any kind, I'm suing."

"The Mexican government?"

"Yes," he simply answered. Maybe I _should _"accidentally" stub my toe...just to see if he would do it. Right now, he sounded pretty intense.

Up ahead of me, I could see the blinking red lights on the airport control tower rising above the trees.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all," I mumbled. Then, we would've had more time together.

Edward had my hand resting in his palm on the center console. I drew little doodles into the smooth marble skin.

"I love to hear your voice," he said quietly, "I hope you never stop talking to me. Now," his tone was louder, "when you get there, an escorted ride will take you and a person of your choosing back to an immensely private room at a beach front resort. I have paid several people to act as body guards."

I gasped. "Are you kidding me? Edward, I can take care of myself!"

"A week, Bella. A whole week, and now that you're mine," I shivered, "I'm not taking any chances."

"I thought you were over this."

He looked puzzled. We were at the parking lot entrance now, and I was near hyperventilating. "This?" he asked, confused.

"The whole 'Bella is such a fragile soap bubble and can't do a thing by herself. Let's hold her hostage for her own safety'. _That_ this!" I said.

"But Bella is a fragile soap bubble in comparison with ferocious vampires, and while she can do a lot by herself, she seems to, as she said," his eyes shot me a piercing look, "and I quote, attract an absurd amount of trouble while doing it. As such, Bella will be escorted wherever she goes as long as she is away from Edward."

He had parked now in a space directly across from the automatic airport doors. But he hadn't pulled the key out, and the engine was still running.

"Well, Edward is...ludicrous," I told him, crossing my arms and slouching down in the leather seat.

"That's a new adjective," he observed.

"I'm trying to switch it up a little," I said, "I keep using the same ones repeatedly."

He copied my action and slid down into his seat, too. "I see."

I shot a glance to the dark, wooden box. "Can I open this yet?"

"Not till you're on the plane."

I sighed, not so much out of impatience, but out of the fact that I would soon be on a plane that would transport me another country away from Edward.

"Good things come to those who wait," he quipped.

I snorted. "The things who come to those who wait are what's left behind by the people who got there first."

He chuckled darkly. "Not true. I have first-hand experience that verifies mine."

"Oh, really?" I bit.

He grabbed my face with both hands and turned it towards him. "I waited for you," he said softly. "You're good."

"That's debatable."

He shook his head. "That's a fact, and I'll spend every minute of our forever proving it to you."

I couldn't talk. This was one of the few times when he spoke of forever, when he really acknowledged that I was going to be with him for that long in complete sincerity.

"I like the sound of that," I whispered.

He tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

"Our forever, I mean."

He smiled and kissed me, shaping his lips over mine. My heart thundered in my chest, and I closed my eyes against the harsh light raining down from the street lamp above us.

His cold lips kissed a necklace around my neck, following the outline of my arching shirt collar. I threw my head back and sighed.

Sadly, through my ecstasy, I realized that this would be the last chance I'd have to touch him for a solid week, and my fingers grew panicky and bold. My hands ran over every single part of him I could reach, propriety thrown right out the window.

His hair didn't escape my clutches. I kept one hand tangled in it even as he moved his head down to rest where my heart beat erratically. I ran my fingertips lightly across his back, memorizing the feel of him, the look of him – the intoxicating smell. This was our honeymoon...cut way too short.

I took deep breaths and watched as Edward's head would rise and fall with each one. A thick fringe of eyelashes covered his honey eyes. Edward looked like a sleeping angel, _my_ _own_ sleeping angel.

"Listen to how quickly it races," he whispered. "It's the best kind of music."

I sighed again. Speaking of music, "Could you hum me my lullaby?"

He smiled. Lazy notes flooded out of his lip in a peaceful buzz. My eyes closed and I leaned my head back against the seat. I was drifting in and out of dreamland by the time he'd finished, and for a moment, I almost felt like I was going to sleep back at Charlie's house. A cold blast of wind and a few raindrops on my forehead dispelled that illusion though.

Reluctantly, I peeked through my lids. Murky, gray sky and Edward's face greeted me. He was going to carry me to the plane. For once, I didn't complain. I wanted to be in contact with him one last...my mind stopped me. One more time before we were separated _temporarily_.

"Edward," I mumbled.

"Yes?"

"What did you mean by 'I can take a person of my choosing'?" I asked.

"You're not flying alone, and I didn't think you'd want to be completely by yourself in the resort, so I convinced a few people to tag along."

"A few people?"

He smirked. "You know them." Topaz eyes scorched my soul again. "Trust me."

He carried me through the automatic doors and past the front desk, which, for some unfathomable but no doubt vampire-related reason, no one was attending. Here, he swung a left and made his way past the baggage pickup. Edward skipped the door to the main ramp and opened a white door that blended in with the wall.

This led us straight outside to the runway, where one small plane sat with its engines buzzing.

"Cheater," I muttered.

He shook his head. "Efficient."

Under different circumstances, I could've laughed.

My husband's perfect features held my attention the entire time. I knew though, that his footsteps were bringing me closer to the plane because of the dim roar that kept getting louder in my ears.

Arms wrapped around his neck as I hugged myself to him. He crushed me to his chest with a pained hiss. Yet still he continued to walk.

Suddenly, above us, moonbeams had found a breach in the dark cloud cover, and poured down on top of us. Edward stopped and turned his face skyward. I froze, spellbound by his iridescent beauty. A breeze blew his bronze hair, and white light bounced off his glittering skin when he resumed his pace.

Wind eventually pushed the clouds to reinforce the crack in their fortress, and the rainbows reflecting off of him went with it.

Even when he stopped, I remained wrapped tightly around him.

"I don't want to go," I said.

He sighed. "I don't want you to go, either, but I also don't want you to die."

"That isn't certain," I told him.

My palm on his face moved a little as he cringed.

"Is it?" I asked.

"Yes," he whispered.

"Oh...Alice?"

Edward nodded against my hair.

"I'll miss you every millisecond," he said softly.

Sobs threatened to erupt from my throat. "I'll miss you more."

He chuckled some, but it sounded melancholy. "Will you be appeased if I call it a tie?"

Nodding, I inhaled deeply, smelling him again.

"I'll be here when you get back," he said. I didn't miss the break in his voice.

"You better be," I choked out.

He laughed before setting me on my feet. "I wish it were different," he said. "I wish there was something I could do."

"You can kiss me again," I suggested. "Sweep me off my feet."

My favorite crooked smile played on his lips as he looped one arm around my lower back and fiercely pulled me to his frigid body. "Off your feet, huh?"

I gulped and nodded. "Dazzle me."

"With pleasure." He growled the words into my ear before pressing his lips to mine. The passion in this kiss was thrilling, more than anything I'd ever felt before. He held back less, and I was lost, gone way up with the clouds, or was I down? Floating downward in a great spiral. Up, down, right, left, I couldn't tell them apart anymore.

As his mouth moved against mine, I could sometimes feel his tongue graze my lips. My hands reached up to cling his cotton shirt in my fists, trying to hold my body up – a near impossible mission.

At last, he pulled away. Cold arms caught me as I began to sink to the ground.

"Dazzled?" he asked.

"Thoroughly."

"Bella, I love you," he said. "Don't ever forget that."

I snorted. "Miracles are a tad bit hard to forget.

"Do you love me?" he asked.

What a ridiculous question. "Of course."

His eyes lit from within with some sort of onyx fire. "Will you say it for me?"

My lips formed the words easily. "I love you."

He smiled and closed his eyes. "Then I can let you go."

My eyebrows furrowed as I glared. "You better never let me go."

One golden eye opened. "Just for a week...now you better go." He gestured towards the steps. "Don't forget this," he said, stopping me and placing the mystery box in my hands before stepping back.

I walked backwards until I reached the steps to the plane cabin, then turned slowly and trudged up them.

Vaguely, I wondered where the music was. In movies, there was always music when two star-crossed lovers parted ways. I realized though, that the only music I wanted was my lullaby.

I turned around and looked at him again, standing there so strongly smiling at me. Then, the steps began to rise. I didn't let the tears fall until I heard it close with a small "phump".

Only then, did I begin to tremble. A hand on my shoulder startled me and I jumped around to see Emily's sympathetic face.

"Come sit," she said.

I nodded and let her escort me down the aisle. I walked by four other people on my way to the back: Sam, Embry, Seth, and, to my utter amazement, Jacob.

Sam and Embry were looking at me with sad smiles. Seth was asleep. I couldn't bear to look at him or Emily for long. They both reminded me too much of Leah. Jacob had his face averted, with his forehead leaning against the small, circular window.

She led me to a soft, plush seat near the back. I immediately scrambled over it to see if Edward was still there. Sure enough, he was, looking straight back at me.

"Would you like me to sit with you?" I heard Emily ask.

I looked at her and nodded. Being alone was not a concept I was comfortable with right now.

An announcement suddenly flooded out of the intercom, normal airline precautions. Emily and I put our seatbelts on at its bidding. The engine roared faster and harder, but I never took my eyes off Edward. The airplane began to roll slowly down the runway. Edward walked with it, just beside us.

As we gained speed, he broke into a run, keeping up with the plane's rate with ease. I trained my gaze on him until we finally lifted off from the ground and he vanished from my view.

Immediately, my hands fell to the box. Somehow, my mind was convinced that opening it would prolong his presence with me.

I tore the ribbon, held the note in one hand, and cracked the lid open with another.

The first thing I noticed was a shiny silver chain, a beautiful heart shaped locket dangling on it. Opening the tiny rose-engraved pendant, I found two pictures, Edward's on one side and mine on the other.

With tears in my eyes, I pulled it over my head. This was, no doubt, another of his mother's things. After that, were our tickets to the prom he had coerced me into. I couldn't believe he'd kept them after so long. Then again, maybe I could.

I laughed when I saw the Clue pieces, Mrs. Peacock and Colonel Mustard.

Under that were various other things: movie tickets, pictures of us, notes we'd written in biology, a tape of his piano playing, and our Forks High School graduation tassels. Last, sitting in the very bottom, was a small leather brown book.

Turning the cover over, I saw an inscription written on the first page:

_Because they can say it so much better than I can..._

My brows pulled together as I flipped through the pages. On each, written in his flowing script, were poems, mostly about love, but sometimes about other things.

Yeats, Poe, Browning, Shelley, Dickinson, and other poets I didn't know the names of. These were his favorites. I smiled.

Certain lines caught my eye.

_Now Doubt-- now Pain Come never again, _

_For her soul gives me sigh for sigh_

and then,

_Today of past regrets and future fears; _

_Tomorrow? Why, tomorrow I may be,_

_Myself, with yesterday's sev'n thousand years._

and,

_I have no life but this,_

_To lead it here;_

_Nor any death, but lest_

_Dispelled from there;_

_Nor tie to earths to come,_

_Nor action new,_

_Except through this extent,_

_The Realm of You_

Finally, my shaking hands opened up his letter:

_My Isabella,_

_I love you more than words – more than ink on paper can ever portray. I am yours, heart, body, and soul. Never forget that._

_Please, Bella, be happy. Wherever you are, wherever you go, be happy. Find joy and love. I won't say goodbye to you because this is not the end. Even if it is __**my **__end, I'll never really leave you. You see Bella, you are me. You are my soul. You talk of how you never give me anything, but it isn't true. You gave me a soul, my beautiful, beautiful Bella. And you gave me a heart when I thought it was gone. So, I'll never really leave you._

_All I ask is that you live. Please, Bella, if nothing else, live. Live for me._

_Ever yours,_

_Ever mine,_

_Ever ours,_

_With all my love forever, _

_Edward Anthony Mason Cullen_

I read it over and over again till my eyes burned and both the ink and my vision were smudged by tears.

Then, the parchment fell from my hands and softly fluttered to the floor. That note had been his final goodbye, and I simply couldn't hold on to it any longer. The feather light paper was weighing in my hands like lead.

Edward's deathwish was for the one thing I could never do – live without him.

**A/N: TEARS...rolling down my face. Sorry it took so long. You get a cookie if you tell me where the end of Edward's note came from. And I'd just like to say, "You better hold on tight, spider monkey."**


	30. Chapter TwentyFive ACTUALLY

Disclaimer: Maybe in the next life, eh

**Disclaimer: **Maybe in the next life, eh?

WOWTHANK YOU THANK YOUWOWOWOWOWOWOW! WOW! Im speechless.

**Danger0magnet: awww...:D can't say im not touched though, that my writing can affect you like that. Thanks for the review. Ur amazing.**

**Kaite: You seem to be under a misaprehension. (recognize the line?) lol. Read the author's note. And who knows? ;)**

**XD: Don't jump to conclusions quite so fast. Or do. Lol. Im not giving away anything. But, no, your not weird. My favorite books all have either questionable or sad endings. There's just something about them.**

**Ten past midnight: let's see...you'e left me with Carlisle Esme and a horse named Parliament. Who to kill? Who to kill? Lol. Dont feel bad. Uve more than made up for it. THANks for the brownie and review. They were both delicious.**

**Melody Cullen: awww... frownie face. I must say im glad I can do that. It's kindof been a goal of mine. (guilty face) not the crying, just the "making readers feel things" thing. YAY UR CAUGHT UP. Finally. Lol. Btw, thanks for the chp 27 specification. LOVED it. Glad you liked that line. I did too. I just thought it fit with Jasper since he's so emotionally sensitive. Don't apolgize for the length. I love length! That sounded dirty...errr...**

**Poppyleafedward'sstalker: not as intimidating as ur last name, but hey, I like it. Three thumbs up. As for death (cackles maniaclly) Or what?**

**Transfiguration: Because the Volturi are coming. The volturi do not know about werewolves and would probably kill them if they did. And also, they wouldn't be fighting vampires. They're fighting evil Sidhe, remember? Now, how can I say that without sounding stupid...**

**Supernaturalgirl: glad i can capture ur attention. Tehehehe...gotcha. And you people thought i was through with him. As for the POV thing, wait and see. I changed the plot quite a bit and made it easier to tie up loose ends when I get there, so...you'll see! Thanks again**

**Loudie: hmmm...u never know. Thank you.**

**Inlovewithyouforever: Awww thanks. My favorites were the Clue pieces. Just had to do it. Thanks for the love!**

**Twilightfan9748: lol. Made my day too. Thanks for the review. Here's a tissue.**

**Nobodyparticular: Awww...thanks i thought so too. YAY ITS SUMMERTIME. Newho, tissue for you too, and a big thank you card from hallmark.**

**Minimeyer: carweasle is the single greatest word of the engish launguage btw. Newho, tissue for you as well. DONT SCREAM ur head off just yet. YES i DO enjoy random spur of the MOMENt capitalization. Why do you ASK? But, i did make up the letter part, but as for the ending read the a/n.**

**Laurenbttwilightfan: special that you were sobbing? Eh, whatever, potatoe. Sorry, random words spill out when im tired. KK :D**

**Auraya. Grace: (blushes) aww thanks. Lol. Revealed the truth to you? I guess thats cool. I am Lily Turtle the Magic Truth Revealer. Fear me! Again, deliriously tired. Newho, lol, DON":T OCD TOO MUCH! Im back.**

**Shinobi shinigami: Thats quite alright. DONT LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN! Jk, i know everyone has lives...except for me. Newho, machete is scaring me. I have machetephobia. Back to the bomb shelter it is then! Tally ho! And thanks.**

**Eliane: Thank you very much. I agree. **

**Corruptblossom: This is the sixtieth tissue ive handed out today. Lol. Have fun. Sorry for the delay. Thanks.**

**Mattybabe: Here (comes after with electrical recessistating thingies) Ill save you and pandy! Lol. SHAMU SAID THAT? Now, i am truly honored. Lol. Sandwhiches are cool as a mule in a pool. Kindly dont tear your heart out. And thank you bundles.**

**Mari alice: Wow...perceptive one, you. You're spot on actually. Wow. Thanks. Err...wow. Scarily accurate. Are you sure you're not me?**

**Angelfromhell: OOOO that word got cha didnt it? BREATHE ANGEL BREATH! No really. Thanks for the love, but breathe. No dying while reading the story. **

**Emberwillow: who knows? Not giving any hints out. (mwuHHAHAHAHA) the werewolves arent helping bc the volturi are there and they would kill them if they knew about them. Thats why they had to leave in new moon. Newho, thanks. :D**

**Minilove4ever: YAY! Glad you liked it...or well, LOVED it. Heres another tissue. I have to buy a new box now. :D thanks fo real.**

**Yogoente: triple wow. YOWZA! Lol. Muchos gracias. I ran out of tissues. Can u use printer paper? **

**Roughdraft: lol. Sorry about the car accident. Are u okay? AWWWW glad I could help. Ur review made my day! And thanks.**

**Meyarose: Thanks meya. Thanks. More ellipses. And another sleepless night.**

**Jjrenee: lol. I was hoping someone would mention the poetry. I like that poem. The letter ending is revealed in my A/N. Im such a lit dork. We should make tshirts. Newho, thanks**

**Thefuturersedwardcullen: yes, but I always like to hear it again. Even though you are sending my ego through the roof. Allright, I telegraphed pandy to pick u up some cookies n cream. Lemon juice. Lol. Glad you caught it. I caught you like a bass. Wow. Im kindof sleep drunk rite now, so pardon my innaness. Hope u enjoyed that sndae and thank you**

**Jalice: AWWWWW (blushes ferociously. Yes, ferociosuly) lol. Read A/n for edward's note ending. Jalice kind of sounds like a city. Like ooo I live in Jalice, New mexico. Or something. Lol. But thanks for the awesome review.**

**Mandja: Here, have a paper towel. Typing like a fiend! Lol. Thank you.**

**Msveronicacullen: 10? Hmmm...tempting. very tempting. (thnx)**

**Albnal: I rather thought so too. For a moment therer, I thought I had fallen into days of our lives. But Im right there with you. Lol. Just call us the overly dramatic club! Hope this chapter makes u happier**

**Yan niao: pointy sticks? You'll have to do better than that. At least hold up pick axes or something. Lol. The grr was ijtimidating though. blushes...again...Aw thanks for all the good, positive stuff. Made my day. :D**

**Clumsy: Im scared. (cowers in corner of bomb shelter)**

**Sillyella:SOOO Proud. My little dyings all grown up (tear). Lol. Diaper wearing monkeys? Btw, i AMMM a diaper wearing monkey in teh disguise of a turtle. COMES AFTER YOU WITH TORCH. Mwuhahah...bet cha werent expecting that. (stops to say "thanks") bit errr...you destroyed me by making me laugh with ur absurd blue coloring. I can only manage a pastel aqua. And to your questtion i ask: African or otherwise?**

**Angcull: Wait no more. And thanks. Come again :)**

**Moonifrui: you'll see! Thanks.**

**Marikaemmie: errr...maybe? No promises. Here's a towel to mop up your tears...or do you need a rowboat? I sure did. Thanks for the long review. I loved it with all of my heart! Thanks.**

**KobrahEdo: Tissue or rowboat for the tear situation?YAY ROBERT PATTISON AND HIS SEXY AMERICAN ACCENT! And thnx**

**Hisbuscusqt: teheheh. Mwuhahaha...that was a spontaneous review, but i loved it in all its randomness. THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH! Shall I kill Edward? Who knows? Or DOESNT know? Even though that didnt make sense. GAWD im tired.**

Chapter 27

Screaming. Someone was screaming – and sobbing and gasping.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight and clamped my hands over my ears to block the terrible sound. My fingernails dug into my hair and skull. That, however masochistic, offered some refuge from the anguished weeping.

"Maybe we should sedate her," a gruff, yet familiar voice from who-knew-where suggested.

Suddenly, the marbles I had clearly lost came unpleasantly tumbling back into my head, and I realized the awful truth. The screams, the sobs, the weeps, the gasps – they were all coming from my own lips, crying out in advanced stages of hysteria.

Bringing my knees up under my chin, I hugged my legs to my chest and shook my head back and forth. No, I was _not_ going to be sedated.

A soothing hand rubbed circles in my back, while something warm and rough stroked my hair. Raising my head out of this self-created cocoon for a split second, I recognized Emily and Jacob as the ones comforting me.

My frame-wrenching sobs quieted to quick breaths and hiccups.

A voice I knew all too well rolled out of the speaker system. "Is everything all right back there?"

"Fine, Dad," yelled Jacob. "Just fine."

Was it me, or was there an edge of bitterness to his words?

"Billy's flying," here I hiccuped, "the," hiccup, "plane?" Hiccup again.

"When he was eighteen, he wanted to be a fighter pilot," said Jacob, "He got his license the next year. Don't worry. He knows what he's doing."

"Oh." (hiccup)

All of a sudden, Jacob pointed to something behind me. "Mike Newton! What the hell are you doing here?" He looked horrified.

In a reflex that had become second nature to me over the last few years of high school, I jumped out of my seat and sharply pivoted. "Where?" I cried.

A certain, infatuated, irritating werewolf's booming laugh filled the small plane cabin. I whipped my head around to glare at Jacob. "What was that about?" I demanded.

He held up a fist, then started counting to five with his fingers. One, two, three...

"What are you - "

He interrupted me with a "Shhh."

Four. Five.

"See," he said, "no more hiccups. I knew that one would get you." A grin spread across his face from ear to ear.

I snickered.

Then sniffled and tried to wipe the remaining moisture from my face with my shirt sleeve.

Wait...tears? Why had I been crying again?

A few more marbles came trickling back into my head, and the reason for the waterworks escaped my lips in an excruciated moan. "Edward..."

"Here she goes again," huffed Sam.

"Could you at least _try_ to be a little sensitive," said Emily. "She only got married a few hours ago, and now her husband's off fighting a war that he may never come back from."

The intensity of my weeping increased a hundred-fold.

"Yeah, Emily." Sam's tone was sarcastic, "Because you're clearly the expert on all things sensitive. Just look at her."

I huddled closer into my cheaply carpeted royal blue seat.

"Go away!" Jacob roared. "She doesn't need this."

He was now filling the seat next to me. Slowly, I felt his arm snake around my shoulders. Honest effort of comforting or taking advantage of my vulnerability? That was the question.

Only now, I just didn't care to seek an answer. The plane was cold and Jacob was oh so hot – in a temperature way. Also, my clothes were drenched with tears, thus leaving me in need of a new shirt to cry on. Jacob's would do just fine.

I burrowed my face in his shoulder and wept some more, mumbling Edward's name at odd intervals.

Reality had sunk in phenomenally quickly. It was shocking, and the pain left my soul in tatters. It was the kind of pain that knocks the ground out from under your feet, the kind of pain that slams into you like gale force winds and tears the roof over your head apart shingle by shingle.

Edward's stupid, stupid, heart-wrenchingly stupid letter, now lying in the floor beside my sneakers, had unleashed this horrible pain on me.

Here we were, finally together forever, sealed in the unbreakable, unshakable bonds of everlasting love, and the thing that separates us is an airplane. Just a corroded piece of flying junk from the eighties, judging from the interior.

Edward and I, I decided, were star-crossed – as star-crossed as they come. Romeo and Juliet? They had nothing on us.

These thoughts were strange with Jacob there, not muddled, just...guilty? Maybe that was it. Selfish somehow. I felt like I had stolen _this_ from him – this wonderful feeling Edward and I shared that was priceless. I was that feeling to Jacob, and I had snatched it away. I must appear like a criminal to him. Yet here he was holding me, rocking me back and forth while I cried.

Gruesome words like "widow" and "death" and "funeral" flitted across my mind unbidden, unwelcome, and unstoppable. Somewhere in the recesses, an idea sprung up. The idea was that maybe this was simply a dream, and all I needed was to close my eyes in order to wake up. Sleep in order to awaken – an insane concept. If only it was true.

So, I fell asleep in Jacob's arms. _To sleep, perchance to dream..._

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

My brain was jostled into awareness before my body. My eyes were awake behind closed lids that were too afraid to open.

I was lying on a bed. That much was obvious. Soft, golden light was shining from somewhere.

I'd never know until I tried, I guess. My eyes flickered open slowly as they tried to adjust to the sudden change in luminosity.

They were greeted with an unwelcome sight, unwelcome to me anyway.

Most people would enjoy lying in the four poster bed of a five-star hotel suite in Cancun. I, though, was not one of those people. This tourist destination might as well have been Hell as far as I was concerned. Tears tried to fall but failed miserably. My eyes were as dry as the Sahara.

So, I tried to fall back into sweet, blissful unconsciousness, but that, regrettably, didn't work out either.

A cherry wood door slowly opened across from me. Through it, strolled Jacob with a tray of pancakes.

When he saw my dry face, he smiled. "You'd think they wouldn't have pancakes here," he said, "but as it turns out, at this time of year, there are more Americans in Mexico than Mexicans."

My small smile wasn't nearly as bright as his was, but at least I gave it a try. "Thanks."

"No prob."

He placed the tree on my lap.

"Do you want me to errr..." He pointed to the door.

"No, you can stay."

He sat on the edge of my rose colored comforter to watch me and my pancakes, but mostly my pancakes.

"Want one?" I asked.

He kept eyeing them. "No, I'm good."

I pushed one his way. "Here."

Jacob downed it in two gulps.

"Hungry?" I asked, eyebrow raised.

He looked ashamed. Clearing his throat, he changed the subject. "I thought you might like it better if I stayed with you instead of the others. Hope you don't mind."

I shook my head, and he continued, "We were thinking about going into town tonight to sight-see. We might as well enjoy this. Are you up for it?"

Was I? I _could_ look at this like vacation. Edward Cullen was going to be fine. We were only going to be separated for a week. His letter never existed.

That idea registered in my head and stuck.

"Sure," I said, "When do I need to be ready?"

"Two hours," Jacob said.

My brows creased. "I thought you said that you were going tonight?"

"Bells," he told me, "look out your window. It's almost sun set. You slept all day."

A glance to my open window confirmed his suspicions. The very bottom of the star was grazing the very top of the sea.

The sea also helped push the worry away. It stretched on endlessly, forever and ever. Just like Edward would.

"All right," I said.

He jumped up and walked out the door. "I'll be out here if you need me."

My head made a checklist of things I needed to do: shower, clothes, leave. Shower, clothes, leave. Shower, clothes, Edward. _No_, leave.

I could do this. The bathroom was to my left.

Per usual, I tripped once on the Persian rug on the way to the bathroom door, and again over thin air.

"Can you make it?" Jacob asked from outside. "Or do I need to put you on a leash?"

"Ha. Ha. Oh the irony," I muttered through Jacob's obnoxious snickering.

The bathroom was magnificent. A crystal chandelier hung from the mosaic ceiling, casting light off of a glittering marble floor. _Edward's glittering marble chest_.

I shook my head to clear this thought, kept my eyes up away from the floor, and began filling the pristine white tub with water. With horror, I noticed that the hooks holding the shower curtain to the rod were rose shaped, crafted out of a dull blue gemstone. _Blue roses on our wedding day._

Was there _nothing_ that wouldn't remind me of him? The response was quick and final: no. Even the plaster walls reminded me of him. And for God's sake, why in the world had the interior designer here opted to include so much topaz in the color scheme?

After I had showered and changed clothes into a pair of jean shorts and a comfy lilac cotton shirt, I walked out of my room to meet Jacob.

He was sprawled out on the sofa watching the plasma TV, some show in Spanish. Subtitles ran across the bottom of the screen.

He glanced down at my foot attire. "Flip flops?" he asked. "You'll kill yourself, Bells."

I pointed to his television show of choice. "Soap operas?"

He appeared flustered. "That's all they have!"

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, Jacob, whatever you say."

My heart skipped a few beats as I read what the lead man said to the woman he was holding in his arms. "He might kill me. This could be my end, but not yours. Never yours." scrolled across the screen in archaic, yellow text. _Even if this is __**my**__ end._

I sighed. It was going to be a long week.

Jacob pressed a button on the remote control and the man and woman disappeared into blackness. I shuddered. That was the wrong way to phrase that.

"Ready?" he asked brightly.

"Yeah."

An very long elevator ride from the 34th floor ensued. When Emily, Sam, Seth, Jacob, and I stepped out into the warm, near tropical air, we immediately heard a mariachi band playing.

"I've always wanted to come here," Emily said.

"I offered to for our honeymoon, but you just had to go to Switzerland," her husband replied.

_I'm out of this, neutral. I'm Switzerland_. I'd told Edward that once. Really, I told myself, these flashbacks had to stop.

"Switzerland's nice and..."

"Cold!" Sam interrupted. "Froze my pants off."

Emily looked annoyed. "If I recall, you were _quite_ cozy."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Mr. and Mrs. Ulley are having a spat."

"Guys!" cried Jacob, "Shut it. Who cares?"

They didn't pay attention, and kept bickering about the pros and cons of Europe and Mexico, which turned into a cold vs. hot argument, at which point I promptly stopped listening.

_Cold vs. hot. Vapire vs. werewolf._ That concept struck too close to home.

Luckily, Jacob grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the music. Seth followed, and we left the Ulleys to their discussion.

Behind us, I noted three men following our footsteps. They walked silently side by side.

"Jacob, who are they?"

"Your bodyguard," he grudgingly answered. "Apparently, I can't handle it by myself."

So, these were the people Edward had paid to protect me.

"They're mostly a ploy designed to scare away people," Seth said. "We'd take care of it if there was any real danger." The tone in his voice was confident and bold.

"He's still a bit hyped on killing Victoria's little friend," Jacob whispered.

We came to a stop at the edge of the crowd that had gathered around the music.

_Music. Piano. Edward._

The reminders were becoming scarily real now. The music coming from the steel drums and maracas sounded eerily like my lullaby.

I turned to tug on Jacob's sleeve. "I was wrong. I really don't think I was ready for this."

He sighed. "Okay, let's go. Seth," he addressed the younger werewolf. "Stay here."

"You can't tell me what to do."

Jacob growled. "Fine," Seth agreed with false bravado.

He kept one hand on my lower back as he led me back through the mob to the hotel. A breeze picked up my hair and I could smell the salty ocean. Sand stung my eyes as it blew towards me.

_Sand. Beach. Ocean. Cliff._

I walked faster, pushing through the throng to keep my thoughts from drifting back to Forks. The doorman held open the glass door for us and I scrambled through.

Up ahead of me, I spotted the universal sign for "here is restroom", a blue stick figure in a triangular dress. I bolted for it.

"I'll just be a minute!" I called back.

People stared at me as I ran. I made it to the toilet just in time. I was, quite literally, home _sick_.

Coming out of the stall, I tried to leave the bathroom. Apparently though, there were two doors, and I ended up going out of the one on the other end into another part of the lobby.

A small child with bronze hair ran by me.

"Edward!" called a frazzled woman. "Come back here!" She chased him out the door.

That did it. I couldn't stay here. I couldn't go outside. This was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I decided in that moment that since I was legal here, I'd let Mexico live up to its infamous reputation. I walked out the other door and began ambling down the sidewalk looking for any place at all that sold alcohol. I set out to undergo a "human experience" that Edward never intended me to have. I was on a quest to get rip-roaring drunk.

**A/N: **Holy. Frickin. Crap. I should go on vacation more often. Jeeze Louise...Never in my life did I ever expect 42, let me repeat 42 (!) reviews! I get back from my internetless trip (grrr) and get THIS! It was probably the best thing EVER! Like, Christmas has never been this good. I mean, wow, how can I adequately express my utter gratitude and amazement in words...hmmmm...THANK YOU (Times A ZILLIONFROOFRILLION) In apolgy of not updating for a while, and from the resulting high I recieved off of my reviews, I gave you an uber uber long chapter. And, I believe there was some confusion. I thought I explained it clearly, but in the last chapter some of you thought that Alice saw Edward dying. ERRRR...wrong answer. Alice saw Bella dying if she stayed. That's what Edward saw at the wedding, when he panicked. If it really bothers the more OCD of youens, I'll correct it. Just let me know...and once again, THANKS! And errr...as sam and emily's relationship was not mentioned very much in the book, I took the liberty to write them MY way. They're kindof my new faves. Oh, and, the end of Ed's letter is from Beethoven's letter to his Immortal Beloved. I thought it fitting. You people should really watch "mysteries in history".


	31. Chapter TwentySix ACTUALLY

El Sinos Cantina

**Disclaimer**: A girl can dream, right?

**Awwwww. You guys are spoiling me. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I adore you.**

**Monkey: DONT HACK ME!! PLZ!! With a cherry on top. Lol. Why thank you though. Im getting to that! Have fun thinking of the endings. Being frustrated and all. Tehehehe. Thanks**

**Xxxbrokenxxx: WOW (blushes) no really. W.O.W. The last one got me choked up. Almost as good as stephenie? Oh, no, Im not worthy. But (tears up) just, THANK YOU! And prepare yourself for bella smashage.**

**Sandalswithsox: No, he is not. If he's alive that is. (mwuahahaha) IT did provoke me, until the Booksamillion people provoked me to read The Host, and well, one thing led to another... lol. Thank you.**

**Ballaxedward4everz: The background music was a nice touch. Simple yet effective death threat. Yet, the "awesome" made it well, AWESOME! Uber thanks.**

**XD: Addiction? Awww... Well, shucks. Im turning red as an apple. But don't we all know how that feels, lol. Nudge, nudge. Anyway, thnx**

**Transfiguration: Lol, i know right. It's like she's trapped in a crazy fan girls mind. Well, you got the tequila part right. ****:) and thanks.**

**Vanessa: Just...Wow! I mean, this is probably the most touching review I've ever received. Errr...wow. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY 3. Yes, i had to use the shift key a lot. Lol. As for my inspiration...really good white mocha lattes. Thnx again**

**Melody Cullen: Drunk Bella is crazy bella as youll soon see. OMG ive done that too, with kitchen appliances. It scared me and my friend also. Man, we're obsessed homo sapiens. Haha. im glad you did too, and get ur mind out of the gutter woman! Haha. thanks tho. :D**

**Inlovewithyouforever: Confusion is what Im going for. I dont really know if thats what Im supposed to do as a story teller, but Ill go back and explain things in the story at the end. Bit thanks. And, Im sorry for the mental breakdowm. I have them at least five times a day. Know how u feel. THANK YOU!**

**Tehgirlfromamestris1912: well, how to feel? Good for making you laugh, or bad because it was via mistake? Haha. then again, who cares. I laughed too when u pointed that out. Thanks for the review. Cheerio!**

**Ten past midnight: lol. The "bwa" was a nice touch. And yum. I think I'll take your suggestion myself. (shifty eyes)**

**Shadow-wolves: thanks for the ideas. Ive had the plot, well the ending at least, planned for a while, although some of your suggestions are eerily similar. OOPS i didnt say anything! Lol. Thanks. Sorry i crushed your hopes. I feel terrible.**

**Flutterbike: Must say Ive never met a fluttering bike, but hey, u learn something new every day. Glad you love it. Always like newbies. Stupid? Bella? Never. (lie detector sounds in background). Pshhh...and THANK YOU so much.**

**Nobodyparticular: You are. In spirit. Haha. hope this chapter helps, or well, it probably wont with the anxiousness. Anyway, THANKS**

**Jalice: I do try to be funny. One of my friends read my writing and she said that it was like i was trying to be serious, but I was tethered to humor, and no matter how much I tried to run away from it, it always pulled me back. Unconfusiousizing myself now. Haha. here's the chapter. Ur fantasstic too. Lol. I think. Unless you like squash, then ur not so fantastic. :D Thanks again.**

**Marikaemmie: that's good. Living, I mean. So im glad i said maybe. Lol, and dont be disabled. Or if so, Ill provide a wheelchair or crutches? What's ur preference? Hey, u can borrow Bella's! Thnx for the review.**

**Danger0magnet: Thanks for that. I was worried about how people would react to the way i wrote bellas emotions. I googled that song, then put it on my ipod. :D yay! Glad you laughed though.**

**Mattybabe: alcohol plus bella equals fun, so maybe u and pandy should just sit back, relax, and enjoy (or worry over) the show? Haha. u can even take a bubble bath. I think u need/deserve one. Ya know, I was thinking. How old is Shamu? He's gotta be like thirty something now. And how long can whales live? Is shamu like an old geezer? Lol, moving on. Errr...lil minx? Ooookk. Tehehe. Thanks again my little...um...my little puma!**

**Twilighter4ever: EVERYTHING! Everything is wrong with me! Lol. But no, really. I've hit a rough patch this weekend. But dont die of waiting. That would be bad. Very, very, very bad.**

**Allyq1990: awwww...i know! U guys are shooting my ego into deep space. I need to be knocked down a notch. Ahhh...there it is. Im not Bella Swan. That did it. Lol. I like the word "delved". And I just played around with her head a little. Thanks for reviewing. Adios.**

**Yoyoente: Ill think about. Evil smirk. And thanks. Have fun with those possibilities... (MWUhahaha)**

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen: Ahhh im scared. Okay, well since im pratically held at gunpt here... lol. Darnt. No more review christmases is sad. I guess I better get used to it. JKJKJKJK!! I looked at some pictures and then pretty muh winged it. Yeah, already read the host. Little odd for my taste specially the two guys in love with one body part, but rather enjoyable all the same. What'd you think of it. And i must get the new grisham book. Feel free to ramble. Im still reeling from the "Memory Keeper's Daughter". That book. Just. WOW. Lol. Thnx for the chit chat and the spanish. LY**

**Angelfromhell: Yes, yes indeed i am. :D OMGOMGOMG...THANK YOU FOR ALERTING ME TO THAT TRAILERS EXISTANCE!! I had to watch it four times till I could just calm down. Rob is PERFECT! THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN**

**Hibiscusqt: Yep. In mexico it is. And bella's not really that sane right now. What with her soulmate dying...errr, i mean FIGHTING and all. :D jk. Yep, yep. We all feel the same, sister. It's so heartbreaking. It almost makes you wish it hadn't existed, but then again, you love it! Thanks for reviewing. O and, "here is restroom"! happy u loved it.**

**Angelgirl44: errr...try not to be dissapointed? Dont hate me. :D I dont hate you. In fact, i rather like you quite a lot.**

**Yan Niao: I have a facebook piece of flair that says something similar. Randomness just sneaks up and catches me by surprise sometimes. What a strange muse i have. O well. I blushed when i read the last sentence. Awwww... Your welcome. THANKS again. Made my day, you did.**

**Mandja: we needed some comedic relief. WAIT NO LONGER...Dun dun duh dun!! :D thnx**

**Poppyleaf: Yes he does. O my. Im scared some more. Ya know that movie the panic room. Well, I found that house. And that's where I am. DRATS! Ive given away my top secret locale. :D**

**Meyarose: lives on lollipops? Lounges over landfills? I DONT UNDERSTAND. Lol, but Thanks anyways. LOL.**

**Silly Ella: 4/7? Well that's precise. Did you know that 7/5 of all people can't do fractions? HAHA...it was a joke. But moving right along, herring? Where in the sam heck can I get a herring? Well, YOUUUU must find me a shrubberrryyyy! (NI). (Attacks you when ur off finding a small bush commonly known as a shrubbery with nachos. Lots and lots of nachos.) Yes i know. They belong together. Lol. AQUA UP! (turns pastel aqua), Thank you.**

**Albnal: yes, poor bella. She is rather prone to tragic situations. Tehehe...glad you liked.**

**Clumsy318: thank you very much! :D**

**Ellen Dean: Ahhh...so right. Just ook at us and our dirty minds. Tehe. DONT BLAME ME. BLAME THE CRAZY SCREWED UP MUSES COMMONLY KNOWN AS STARBUCKS COFFEE. O and thanks.**

**Emberwillow: I gave u a long long long chap to make up for my not updating. Patience, my willow, patience. Haha. jk. Kindly dont kill me though. Im too young to die! Ironic as this is, thank you.**

Chapter 26

_El Sinos Cantina._

A rickety old sign displayed those letters above a doorway. No door, just a doorway, with strands of green beans hanging down as a shabby replacement.

I did some quick translating in my head. Cantina meant "bar". I'd learned some Spanish in high school. My heart stuttered.

_High School. Biology class. Notes. Edward._

With newfound bravado, I swept the green beads aside and stepped into the cantina. They fell back into place with a sound like rain.

No matter how necessary I felt this was, I was still a little frightened. Right now, I was breaking about every little girl "no, no" my mother had warned me about.

Here I was, a not-too-terribly ugly girl walking into a back-alley bar to get drunk surrounded by men that would be all too happy to take advantage of me, in the dead of night. Yes, sanity had clearly left me. My marbles were scattered across hotel _Carcel's_ lobby. They'd shot out of my head about the time the little boy named Edward had run by.

I cringed again at the thought of his name, but couldn't help wonder what he was doing right now.

Scratch that. I didn't want to know, which only amped my will power to reach this goal I'd set for myself as soon as possible.

This joint wasn't a rollicking club. In fact, there were only a few people here. That was good.

This bar wasn't anything like the ones I'd seen in country music videos. It was slow, drowsy even.

The sun-browned bar tender was wiping a cloth in circles over a dusty countertop in time to the ironically upbeat Latino music. He hadn't even looked up when I entered. Several wooden tables were scattered around the place.

A heavily tattooed couple sat in a far corner, taking lazy sips from a pair of foaming beers.

Chairs squeaked against the floor, and I turned to see four men, good buddies if their laughter was anything to judge by, rise and walk out the way I'd came. They passed through the beads, and it rained for a second or two.

_Rain. Forks. Vampire Baseball._

I heard a groan to my right. Looking, I saw a man's bald head roll forward and hit the table top with a thud.

This time, the bar tender glanced up, noticing me for the first time.

"Ayúdeme, usted?" he asked me, throwing his towel over his shoulder and coming out from behind the bar through a small swinging door set into it.

It took me a moment before I realized he was talking to me. "Me no Espanol,"I told him. Not enough to be fluent anyway.

The curly headed man nodded. "Will you help me with him?" he tried asking me again. His English was near perfect, only the slightest hint of an accent. "Carrying him, I mean?"

"Um," I walked forward hesitantly. "Sure? Where to?"

The bartender grunted as he put his burly arms under the man's arms and heaved. "Get his feet."

I moved around the man till I was in a position to do so. I wrapped my fingers around his ankles and lifted. I was genuinely surprised at how light he was.

"Back there," said the bartender, gesturing towards another doorway in the back wall, set off to the side and covered in red beads.

I walked backward, carefully minding my steps. I couldn't walk forward very well, let alone in the opposite direction. So, I stumbled a few times on my way. I thought I heard the curly headed man laughing at me quietly under his breath.

Pushing through the red beads, I glanced behind me and noticed an assortment of five cots. Black spots dotted the yellowing sheets.

I made my way over to the nearest one, and set his feet down on it. The bartender was less gentle. He all but flung the drunken man down onto it.

After his task was done, he looked to me. "Thanks. He was doing good for a while there, but Rojo never learns." His r's rolled off his tongue.

After that, he turned his back on me and walked out. I stood stunned and unsure for a second before following him. Entering the dimly lit room again, I saw that he had returned to wiping the countertop.

I walked to sit down on the stool a few feet down from him.

He slung his towel into a dirty bin to the side and turned to look at me with a grin. "So, Graceful, what can I get you?"

I looked down. _Edward_, my mind answered, but my lip spoke, "What's the strongest you got?"

Propping himself up on his elbow, he searched me intensely. "Ran into some bad luck?"

"You could call it that."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really." I wasn't trying to be rude, really. I was just trying to be intoxicated, and he was hindering me.

He sighed, clearly disappointed. "Sorry," he said, "I just don't get good company in here to talk to often. Errr...I've got a tequila that'll knock your socks off?"

I nodded. "That'll do fine."

He cocked an eyebrow. I cringed and averted my gaze. Edward used to do that. _Will still do that_.

"Ah," he said, "boy trouble."

"Husband trouble," I corrected.

The expression in his eyes appeared to be backpedaling. "Oh...well, uh...if you still want to talk..."

He trailed off, then turned around and grabbed a glass bottle full of pale yellow liquid. He gave it four or five good shakes before popping off the cap.

He glanced back and saw my anxious face. "It's strong," he said, "Rojo back there created this concoction himself. Sure you still want it?"

Steel faced and determined, I nodded. I wasn't backing out now.

"Is that...Rojo I mean...is that a regular occurrence?" I asked. What I really wanted to know was if I was going to end up back there, lying on the moldy cots.

"Rojo's an old friend. Comes in most nights." His voice was distracted, distant. "Says 'hi', drinks his tequila, and then he's out cold."

"Oh," I said.

"But let's put it this way," he continued, "before him, that room was used for storage."

I laughed a little. It felt good, laughing.

He turned around, a glass in hand full of a liquid that was somewhere between orange and yellow in color. "Listen Graceful," he started.

"Bella," I told him.

"Listen Graceful," he repeated, "I really don't want this night to end badly for you. Maybe you should just go home."

I reached for the drink, but he pulled it just out of my grasp. The green beads behind me sounded, and I knew someone was entering.

"The crowd's starting to come. Pretty soon this place will be packed out." He scanned my face. "It can get pretty ugly."

"Give. Me. The. Drink." My voice was acid.

The bartender sighed. "Suit yourself, but... can't you give me a number to call or something...someone to come pick you up."

My eyes rolled. "Give me a pen and paper."

He rummaged around under the counter for a minute before he produced the requested items. I wrote down the hotel room number and Jacob's cell.

"Don't call him till I can't remember my name...you" I commanded.

He chuckled and then set the drink down in front of me. "It's Antonio, Andy for short, and whatever you say, Graceful.

I took a sip. That sip turned into a few more sips, which turned into a few more glasses which turned into half an hour past midnight, or at least that's what I thought the clock said. It was hard to find it amid the uproar of the many voices. The evening crowds had come, and the small roam was packed, and sweltering with the body heat.

"Another," I told Andy.

He shook his head. "I think you've had enough. I should probably call now."

"My name's Bella," I said. "And I want...waannntt...another!" Somehow, I didn't care what I said. Articulation didn't matter anymore; I just wanted my point across.

"No," Andy said firmly.

What? Absurd. He couldn't say that to me. "Now!" I screamed.

"That's quite enough, Bella," he said.

Now, that, _that_ was hillarious, although I wasn't quite sure why. My thoughts were muddled and murky – and somehow, I loved it because it kept my mind off _something_. Anyway, I giggled furiously, then looked up at Andy.

"You're pretty," I said, "just like a coconut."

The lines coming out from either side of his lips turned down further. Why was he such a buzz kill?

I giggled at this, too though. "I don't like clowns," I told him. "Do you like clowns? I don't really know why you would. They're scary."

Andy's sister, Vanessa, came to stand beside him. She'd come to help about the time the crowd came. "Do you want me to keep an eye on her?" she asked.

I continued with my rant. "Sometimes I get scared of things easily. Like when I was four," I giggled some more, "I liked Mellow Yellow a lot, so," I giggled again. Why was everything so funny tonight? "So I wanted some, and I thought that the shampoo was the Mellow Yellow, so I tried to drink it."

"They were the same color," I explained, "And now I'm a little scared of shampoo."

Vanessa looked at me sympathetically. I didn't know why. I was having a blast. She was the one to be pitied.

"Shampoo, shampoo, shampoo," I sang. "It's scarier than...than _vampires_!" I knew what I was saying. I just didn't care, like every inhibition I'd ever had had been knocked to the ground. "And I should know about that. I _know_ them. I _dated _one." I shouted, breaking down into hysterics. "I _married_ one!" The bar grew silent as the grave.

Through the haze, I felt three clammy hands on my body.

"We'll take it from here." The voice sounded like keen, high-pitched wind.

"Ouch," I said. The tone cut my ears.

The unsettling hands dragged me away from my tequila. My lovely, lovely tequila, so I struggled against them.

I didn't stop fighting until I was set down on the dingy cot I vaguely remembered from earlier. Rojo snored loudly beside me. Looking up, I saw three cloaked figures.

"Those words, if they're true," said the one in the middle. She was clearly female, the one from earlier, the one whose voice sounded like wind.

"Are very dangerous for you," another finished. Her tone was...slimy. There was no other way to describe it. When she spoke, I felt like a squid or snail had wrapped its slimy arms around me.

I fell into a fit of laughter anyway.

The third talked this time, the one on the right. "She's too drunk to talk to me." She sounded like a violin played horribly wrong.

"A problem solved quite easily," the one in the middle rhymed.

That was twice now that they had done that. I felt like I was trapped in a horribly morbid version of a Dr. Suess book.

The one on the left, Slimy Voice, placed her clammy palm on my shoulder. And unfortunately, the euphoric mist I was engulfed by dissipated. I tried to chase it, but it receded too fast, and before I knew it, I was fully aware and functional. Just like...magic or something. It was odd. All I knew was that I didn't want any of their paws touching me again.

I thought about what they just said. Those words were dangerous? What words? More memories came back. As they did, the color drained from my face. I'd just told the bar about vampires. That was almost like committing a capital crime in the vampire world. I examined the cloaked figures again.

"Volturi."

Then, the three women did something very unexpected. They laughed, well, cackled was more like it.

I blushed. "Who are you then, and how do you know I was telling the truth?" I wasn't quite in the mood to be mocked.

"The Hoverers, the Eternals, the Finale," they chanted in unison.

"Thanks for the specification," I bit. I wanted to be drunk again. Badly. Or maybe I was drunk, and this was some stupor-induced hallucination. "What do you do?" I asked.

Their answer was chorused once again. "We know."

"Know what?" God, this was frustrating.

"Everything."

I sighed.

Slimy said, "We know you did not tell a lie."

"And that his plans will go awry," Violin ground out.

"His?" I demanded. "Edward's?"

The middle one, the wind-sounding one, chuckled mirthlessly. "You'll be back in time to see his pyre."

"His violent end, you will too desire," Slimy rhymed.

"Stop speaking in riddles!" My mind tried to sort this one out. Pyre...pyre...I froze, and my heart stopped beating. _Funeral_ pyre. A pyre, a place where a body burned. Haunting images of Edward burning in purple smoke filled my head.

"No!" I screamed.

They laughed sadistically.

"It's not real! You're wrong!"

They repeated the same two words as before. "We know."

Tears were flowing down my face. I believed them somehow. Right off the bat, I believed them, and I didn't know why. Maybe it was the way they had ended my intoxicated state with a touch. I didn't know, but something told me that they spoke the truth.

I clutched at the robes of the tallest, the middle one. "What can I do?"

This time, they answered together. "This will be your greatest test. Names will save all the rest. But as for pain your love does endure, only his curse will be his cure."

With that, they left through the red beads that sounded like rain.

_Names will save the rest? The rest of...everyone who wasn't Edward. My test? Edward's curse would be his cure?_

My mind focused more intently upon the last thing they'd told me. His curse would be his cure. I repeated the phrase in my head until it sounded funny.

Curse. Curse...what cursed Edward? Being a vampire? Carlisle? No, that wasn't it. Well, it was, but he'd told me that he was glad for it.

What then? Blood? Yes, that would be a curse, but he preyed on animals.

Curse? What would _curse_ him?

My mind dredged up a statement he'd once made – 'It was like your were my own demon sent up to be my own personal hell.'

The wheels clicked. Edward's bane was my blood, and it would cure him. But of course it would. I thought of how Jasper wanted to use me as a secret weapon. I should've insisted.

A plan of action formed immediately, more out of instinct then thought. I had to leave Mexico. Tonight if at all possible.

The airport was fairly close to _Carcel's_ and even closer from here. I could run. I had money, a credit card, and a passport in my pockets.

My mind was whirling so fast, I couldn't even here Rojo's grunting snores. I ran out of the back room and looked around for the three women, but I couldn't see them. The crowd was too thick even if they were still here.

"Graceful!" Andy called. "I'd thought you disappeared. You must hold your liquor well."

I turned to him. "Call Jacob. Tell him that I've gone for a walk on the beach."

"I don't think..."

"Just do it," I called behind me, shoving people out of the way in a frenzy to reach the door.

The first things I spotted outside were three male figures standing together at the mouth of the alley. Luckily, they were whispering with their backs turned and didn't notice my presence. Stupid bodyguards. My protection was going to end Edward's life. That situation seemed commonplace now though.

Quickly, I ducked back into the bar.

I saw a group of six approaching, drunks, laughing loudly with glowstick necklaces on.

They were going to leave! If I could just act like I was one of them. I walked beside them. They were too drunk to care.

Outside, I took care to keep my hair in my face and keep people between me and the roving eyes of my guard. Did that mean Jacob was here somewhere? Or did they choose this place on a whim? I didn't care. I'd have to risk Jacob's wrath. As soon as we were out of the dark alleyway, I turned the corner and sprinted, heading west toward the airport.

Adrenaline coursed through my veins and I didn't tire. I pushed any bystanders out of my way as I ran.

The airport was misplaced here. The resorts along the strand simply stopped to make way for an airstrip along the flat coastal land. This wasn't the major airport, but it would do. It was bigger than Forks' anyway.

This was the farthest I'd ever ran in my life, and I was sure that if I wasn't so hyped, I would've fallen over from exhaustion by now. The red lights blinked in my watering eyes.

I forced my legs to move harder. Past a shack, a restaurant, a McDonalds, past a nightclub vibrating from the music.

I only skidded to a halt when I had crossed the door.

Seven cubicles stood side by side. I ran to the closest one, a gullible looking girl. Perfect. I needed someone to buy the lie I was about to tell.

"What's the closest flight to Washington?" I asked.

Her eyes squinted, like she was trying to discern what I was saying.

Nevertheless, she answered in broken English. "San...Francisco."

A chipper looking woman, dark locks cut into a short bob, walked over to join her. "That's true, but it leaves in ten minutes."

"Please," I begged, preparing to lie through my teeth, "Someone's chasing me. I need to be on that plane."

Tears for Edward and my family were easily disguised as tears for myself. The woman with the bob looked sympathetic.

"Who honey? We'll call the police."

Tears rolled down my face harder. "Jacob Black," I whispered. Maybe jail would prohibit him from chasing me for at least a little while. "Don't let him come after me!" My voice was panicked. "Please, please, I _have_ to be on that plane." The deception flowed out of my mouth smoothly.

The lady looked sad. "All right, sweetheart. I'll make a call."

I immediately dug in my pockets for my credit card and passport.

The lady winked at me. "Don't worry about all that honey." I smiled back.

"Thank you," I whispered, overcome with real emotion this time. I almost felt bad for lying to her.

She mumbled some things in Spanish into a black walkie talkie. After that, she walked out to take my hand.

"I'll show you where to go," she told me. Her English was impeccable.

She led me past the luggage pickup, past the screen with the yellow lights displaying the flight times, and up a spiral staircase.

"Right through there." She pointed at another door. "Security won't bother you," she said. "Good luck."

I thanked her again before continuing on my way at a jog.

The nameless lady, I suddenly regretted never learning her name, was right. Security, three elderly men in white shirts and black trousers, didn't even stir as I walked through the metal detector. I continued to jog.

Down the tunnel, up the stairs. A flight attendant met me at the stairs up to the plane. I bolted up them and took the first seat I could, urging the plane to take off at once.

I checked around me for familiar faces after the stairs rose and shut me in the cabin. Thankfully, there were none. So, now that the temporary burst that my excitement had given me was gone, I gave myself into worry.

I worried as the plane took off, and I knew I'd be worrying when it landed.

_His curse would be his cure_. Finally, I would be the one to save _him_. At last I could be his Superman.

**A/N: Frazzled? Confused? You should be. That's how I like my readers until I tie every thing up. Evil? Diabolical? Why yes. Anywho, the reason this took forever was bcause I was reading the host. Good book, I must say. Addicting. Although I kept waiting for Edward Cullen to show up...I was severely dissapointed, but only bc of that. So, what did you thik about the three women. Anyone have a gander as to who they might be? Or if they really existed at all? Or were they just in Bella's "drunken stupor"? hmmmm...lol and THIS is why I love to be an author. So, well, they're based off SOME people. Clue's in the bar's name. Tehehehe...also, the hotel name has meaning too. So, don't be too wierded out just yet. After all, you ARE reading a book about vampires and werewolves. This is a very long author's note. :) Review plz.**


	32. Chapter TwentySeven ACTUALLY

Question after question after question marqueed through my head sitting in that vinyl, first-class plane seat

**Disclaimer: **Steph owns it. Not me. No questions asked.

_**HOLY PASTRONI!! You people inspire me. LY. A lot. More than you can imagine. I AM the forest Edward talks about. A forest of love! :D**_

**Thegirlfrommamestris1912: Wow...that's a tongue twister my friend. Neway. Thanks a bunch for the thumbs. 2 thumbs up to your review :D glad you like.**

**Angelfromhell: Errr...I already pmed u bout this, but what is the website. Try pming it to me. Sorry bout the confusion. All will be explained in due time...cept one little thing that I have to go back and correct. I added it in then changed the plot. It was way back there though. Yeah, read the host! And the memory keeper's daughter. Holy crap. And, ah, that trailer. When does the full one come out? Do you know? Oh yeah, thanks. **

**Dreamgirrl14:oooo...ur awesome. Three reviews. Go you. Deep breath. The wolves can't be there because of the Volturi (remember how they had to leave after the battle in New Moon) Bella's going to see/meet the "demons" as you call them, which is probably the closest to what they are, not pixies. :D. Brownie pts. to you. Jacob might...errr...you'll see. But (blushes) thanks for the gift comment. Come again. I'll try to explain all your questions by the end.**

**Kymi: lol...just like a teddy bear in the Bahamas. Haha. and, ah...i remember when I used to be obsessive over fanfiction, before I started writing this story, and I failed out of skiing class (yes. I said skiing.) But I think that had more to do with gravity hating me. But, glad you enjoyed. Thank you very much.**

**Monkey: Nah, Im used to them. Nothing like a good death threat to start out the day with, I always say! Sorry for your dissapointment though. And, well, vwala!**

**MelodyCullen: NO, that really doesnt make sense. Lol. But i must say i laughed at some parts, like the word "cryotank", and the phrase "Back when I was a Sea Weed." (giggle) I thought about Cuervo and Jack Daniels, but a tequila sounded like Bella's cup of tea, or well, of alcohol. THANK YOU!!**

**Nobodyparticular: SUMMERTIME IN TENNESSEE!! Pull out the kenny chesney cds, bonfires, barns, pools, lakes, ahhhh... moving on, thanks. I always love your reviews. Short, but they make me feel so happy :D**

**Hyperness is a Virtue: Im touched that you reviewed on multiple chapters just to tell me to update! Aw (blushes purple...red doesn't even cover it). And i like your emoticons. Oo That one's my new fave. Thank you. And, (takes deep breath) he didn't drink enough for it to affect him, like a fourth of a Tylenol pill doesn't really do much. Think f it that way.**

**Shadowwolf: Not really, well, you'll find out what they are. I wrote what they're based on in the an. Thanks for the review friend!**

**Jalice: lol. I laughed a lot when I wrote that part. (breaths sigh of relief) NO QUESTIONS! You are my hero. Everybody, trust the author. And yes, shampoo is terrifying... herbal essence ate my friend last week. It was tragic really. Lol, i mean MOURN!! And thanks as always.**

**Meyarose: you do that. AND YOU DESERVE TO BE CONFUSED AFTER ALL THOSE FRAZZLING REVIEWS YOU LEFT ME. Ly.**

**Transfiguration: sry. My fingers have a mind of their own. Maybe...maybe, I'll let everything be all right. Well, not everything. Then we wouldn't have much of a story!**

**Yoyoente: hmmmm... I DUNNO! Was it something i said...erm, typed? Thanks for reviewing!**

**Supernaturalgirl: Do you get tired of typing the numbers into your penname? Just curious. Thanks! Im glad you said something about that. I was worried people would think that they were tooooo weird. Wait and see!!**

**Emberwillow: WOW...you're a good guesser. Points for you! Lol. Hmmm...my personality quiz said I was whimsical, friendly, and outgoing. Is that the kind of person who kills off characters? Who knows?? Thanks for the review, btw.**

**XD: Twistedy twists. Gotta love em. Just talking about them makes me want to read an old Stephen King novel. And I bet you're a better writer than you give yourself credit for. Lol. Just remember to spell suck right, not that I can say anything about spelling, but um..., give it a try! :D and thanks.**

**Poppyleaf: When i type your name, I think of the wizard of oz. Dunno why... but, errr...type in 'fates' on babelfish. His curse is his vampireness, but the curse that can cure him is Bella's blood. It's special, remember? Like a vampire energy drink.**

**Polkadotshelly: Happy to hear that you think that. Thanks. Shampoo is absolutely abysmal though. Dont you know?**

**Xxxbrokenxxx: THANKS!! Im touched. And yep, does that make him Lois Lane? Tehehee. Not AS good plotwise in my opinion, but the creativity and writing quality are much better.**

**Sillyella: HAHA!! we're lame. But i love it! OH yes, I did call on the giant mob (I got them free with my Verizon network) to yell at you. Ahhh...so NI neautralizes the blue turning powers. NI! It'd be cool if it turned you different colors. And also, while babelfish says fates means sinos, bell works too! That's an incredibly cool coincidence! And...all in good time! Ly, thanks, ciao**

**Mattybabe: Really? Pandy too? I was hoping he wouldnt have a relapse (wink nudge) if you know what i mean. I wonder if the original shamu died, and then they kept getting replacement killer whales and calling them shamu. THAT"D BE THE SCANDAL OF THE CENTURY! Let's take pandy and investigate. Well, thanks. You big ol' armadillo!**

**Marikaemmie: (hands over crutches with sadness) Hey, those things were fun! Haha. Glad you like the intensity. And yes, a mental hospital is a free service Would you like fries with that? Lol, o and thanks.**

**Sandalswithsoz: I agree. Took me a while to get into it, but when I did, MAN...BOOM, it knocked my socks off. Wait and see...thnx.**

**Kerssica: OOOOOO PRAISE GOD! HALLELUJAH YOUR BACK! WHERE WERE YOU? I WAS ABOUT TO COME ALL THE WAY TO THE NETHERLANDS TO HUNT YOUR BUTT DOWN. But anyway, calming down, honestly, I've never seen buffy the vampire slayer, im like how you like how i quoted hamlet. LOL to the werewolf wicca thing. (he attended hogwarts for a year)., for coming back Im sending you a lifetime supply of hypothetical chocolate, of course i wouldnt put any jacob smoochies in here. Are you crazy? Dont you know me at all?? Awwww...along with the chocolate comes a box of hypothetical tissues and a cookie for being the only one to guess Beethoven. Glad you like the poems. LOL. The 29 review was the review of the century. I was hoping someone would say they'd confused it with the genuine thing. YAY! And of course the cookie's chocolate? What do I look like? An...anti...chocolate...person??huh? huh? Nah, jk. Werewolves sent away...it's in the next author's note. Lol, also, well, just glad about everything, glad about you coming back, everything you say...EVERYTHING! and stardust is my fave! Love that movie. Godlike? (aw...tear) LY oodles... only ur a jerk for leaving me, but i just cant help it. Dont. Leave. Again. Or. Else.**

**Allyq1990: YAY...i love your writing. Glad you like mine. Well, to be specific, i love that thing you wrote about jasper and Alice! Congrats on the contest thing. Thanks.**

**Euphoria: YES!! Where've you been? Of course i missed you you big stupid. Grrr...phillip is crying in his pen. And it's all YOUR fault. Grrr... glad your back though. Haha. thanks for the review.**

**Hibiscusqt: Bella is taking control! Lol. Reminds me of an Aretha Franklin song. Hmmmm, continuing, I worked with a guy named Rojo once. Ironically, at a Chinese resaurant. Haha. glad u thought of me. Im branching out. :D thanks oodles and kaboodles.**

**Mrs.edwardcullen: that was a lot of omg's. Evil? Why yes...MWUHAHAHA! Don't die. I'll give you a PB&J to not die.**

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen: I think there's gonna be some competition between you and the girl mentioned above you. Errr... awkward turtle. (snickers). Pandy is now getting you peaches ice cream. But is having a hard time locating any, so he made it himself... good luck with that. O I KNOW! I just want Edward to pop up somewhere. Lol. Have fun with that real food and harrison ford. Thank you and ciao.**

**Twilightforever: like a small mouth bass! Or not... shew im exhausted. Im typing. Im typing.**

**Eliane: In a traffic jam if you must know. Lol. YAY...im glad you liked, no, glad doesnt cover it, Im THRILLEd you like the new twist. O, and by all means, use capital letters all you dang well want. I DO YAYAYAYAY CAPITAL LETTERS! Newho, yes, you are crazy. Acceptance is the first step to recovery. Although, Im right there with you, and I really dont want to recover. Im quite content with my straight jacket and fluffy room actually. Thanks, friend :D**

Chapter 27

Question after question after question marqueed through my head while I was sitting in that vinyl airplane seat.

Some of them were unsuccessfully avoided, such as: What is Edward doing? Is Edward alive? Did Jacob kill the police officers yet? Are the Cullens beating the Unseely?

Others were random and most likely brought on by the remnants of alcohol in my system, like, for example, wondering whether or not Tinkerbell would be in Forks, and if Peter Pan would come with her.

But the question that I kept coming back to was this: What the hell was wrong with me?

Besides the obvious, tripping over invisible objects, suffering from occasional hero complexes, and the like, somewhere over the Mexico/Texas border, it had hit me what exactly I was doing. I had hopped on a plane, more specifically, _lied_ about one of my best friends _to_ hop on a plane, all at the bidding of three loony hags.

Yet at the same time, I was sure they weren't entirely human, if human at all, so maybe they could know what they were talking about.

_Or_, maybe they had set me up, and were leading me to my doom, but they really didn't have a motivation, did they? I couldn't think of one.

Either way, it really didn't matter now. I was here, and I couldn't turn around, and I might as well go see Edward.

Hopefully, if she was paying attention, Alice could see me coming and do...and do...do what?

Suddenly, this didn't seem like such a good idea.

However, what if the hags _were_ right, and I was the only one who could save him? If so, then why care enough to tell me?

I was torn, and confused, and oh, what I wouldn't give for a great, big book to fall on my head out of the sky and give me the answers.

I also wondered what I would do when I got to Forks. What would a faery war entail precisely? I imagined that it would be quite a bit different from the few I'd seen on videos and CNN, with gunsmoke, bombs, and explosions. Maybe it was all hand-to-hand combat. Well, whatever it was, I'd have to try to go around it, play an old-fashioned game of "avoid the bloodthirsty vampires". Really, I should be a pro at it by now.

I shifted some in my seat, making the vinyl groan uncomfortably, like it was complaining about my sitting on it. The noise elicited a snoring grunt from my sleeping neighbor. He looked like a businessman in his gray suit, and at a guess, I'd pin his age to be somewhere around early fifties.

I had tried to talk to him when I first sat here. He replied quickly in Spanish. I shook my head, sighed, and turned away. He'd fallen asleep soon after that, his heavily bearded chin bouncing on his thick chest with every jerk of the plane.

I envied him for his slumber, and hated him for it. His snores were part of the reason I hadn't got any shut-eye myself.

Dawn was breaking now. A pastel pink glow was diffusing through the clouds we were surfing through, making them glow, too. Now that I was on my way to Edward, I could appreciate the beauty of things, knowing that I'd see him today. If my estimates were right, Forks was only a ten-hour drive from San Francisco, not taking impertinent speeding into account. I'd see Edward by sundown.

I looked out my window again, and noticed that the clouds had diminished, and that far below me, I could see familiar landscape –Arizona. The small white dots scattered about a flat green and brown landscape gave it away. I smiled.

While Forks had become home to me, I'd always hold a special place in my heart for the desert. It was the openness of it, the blurred line between blue sky and speckled earth. It was the way the wind there smelled like freedom.

"Can I get you anything?" the flight attendant asked. I'd come to the conclusion that she was the one other person on this plane who could speak English.

She had a breakfast tray rolling around, with a stack of plastic cereal containers in the shape of a pyramid.

Now that I thought about it, I was rather hungry.

"Cheerios, please," I said.

She handed me a small white box that made up the point of the pyramid, a tiny carton of milk, and a plastic spoon.

"Anything else?"

"No thank you," I told her, already peeling away the thin yellow covering. With super human speed that only comes with being half starved, I poured the milk over the small pieces, picked up a spoonful, and shoved it into my mouth.

"They found him you know," she said, "Jacob Black."

I almost spit out my breakfast then and there, but swallowed it instead.

"Oh...oh," I stammered. "What happened?"

"They took him into custody," she said, beaming, "There's nothing to worry about anymore!"

I acted over my initial worrying instincts with an artificial sigh of relief. "I'm glad."

The flight attendant smiled more and rolled the cart away with a new skip in her step, like she herself had been the one to save me from my "stalker". Jacob was going to despise me.

All through breakfast, my mind ran a million miles per minute, until it finally crashed from exhaustion. After I gave my emptied container back to the flight attendant to throw away, I rested my head against the hereto-unused pillow, curled up in my seat, and tried to sleep. It would only be a few hours, but I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I had a ten hour drive ahead of me, and if the hags were right, I'd be loosing a lot of blood at the end of that journey...maybe all of it. I shut down those thoughts though, and said goodbye to the conscious world.

VVVVVVVVVV

Something was shaking...me. I myself was shaking.

I blinked my eyes opened, slowly at first. They shot open wide though when I saw the businessman who sat beside me on the plane standing over me.

"Despierte!" he was saying over and over again. I assumed he meant 'get up', or some variation of that.

I smiled groggily. "Muchos gracias," I said.

He turned his back and sauntered off with an irritated huff. My spine cracked when I uncurled it from the uncomfortable position I had fallen asleep in. Every bone in my body ached. I stretched my arms above my head, but it didn't help.

"Miss!"

I looked around, only to see the cheerful flight attendant from earlier.

"Miss, you need to get off the plane now."

Grumbling, I stood up, and dizzily began walking towards the door. I was dead on my feet and jet lagged all at the same time. I used several of the chairs to keep myself from tumbling down the narrow aisle.

I reached the end of the cabin, and the flight attendant put her hand on my back, guiding me to the door.

"You have someone here, don't you?" she asked.

"Oh, yes," I lied, "My mom." It wasn't as much of a lie as I could have told. If she had asked me a couple years ago in fact, it would have been completely valid.

She gave me a small smile. "All right then, well...be safe!" The last part was sung to me.

"Thanks," I said, before pivoting to walk down the steps.

My pace increased through the tunnel, out the door, around families waiting for their luggage to be brought to them by a worn conveyor belt. I pushed against the crowd current, fighting my way through the mass of people all scurrying to get to their next flight, all the while going faster. This airport was quite a bit larger than the ones in Forks or Cancun.

I'd seen more airports in the last two days than I ever wanted to see again in my life.

As I walked out of the glass doors, I suddenly found myself in need of a car. Panic welled up inside of me, threatening to overpower my small frame.

_Keep it together, Bella_. I was chanting to myself.

As far as I could see, there were three options.

First, I could ask for a ride. But then I would be endangering another human by taking them into dangerous territory. I doubt anyone would want to go under the risk of being eaten.

Second, I could rent a car. I did have a credit card. However, I would have to find someone to take me there, find a car, and fill out paper work. Plus, I didn't even have my license with me.

Third, I could ask for someone to lend me their car...not likely.

I tried to find a Plan D. I could... I could... a wild idea dawned.

How actually opposed _was _I to Grand Theft Auto?

**A/N: Sorry everyone...i had finals, and was as busy as a bee. Well, I suppose you could say that this is now officially my version of breaking dawn, seeing as I used the title like Steph does in her books. Well, hope you liked it. I rather enjoyed writing it. I just got this picture of Bella in 'gone in 60 seconds'. Lol. How WILL she pull this off. Sorry about the shortness...and the fillernessssseess...and the fact that I only gave you more questions instead of answers and that there wasn't much dialogue. Errr..., well, it's summer now. Updates like lighting, I think, although I have to spend time with those annoying little buggers commonly called "best friends". I have to walk on eggshells with the next few chapters, so Im going to be writing them meticulously. I PROMISE you'll LOVE the next chapter... LOVE. Big plans. Very big plans. Kindly read and review. Oh yes, well, I modeled the three hags after two sources actually. The Greek fates, and the three witches in macbeth (thanks Willie ;) And on bable fish, i typed in fates and it gave me sinos. But, bell is an incredible coincidence and you can take it as that, too! **


	33. Chapter TwentyEight ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer: **Yes...I am stephenie meyer in disguise of course. :P

_**LOVE YOU GUYS, as always, THANK YOU! From the bottom of my heart. And the top. And the middle. And the sides...**_

**MeyaRose: It's not so hard really. My dad taught me. The government just wants you to think it is. Lol. You'll see. :D**

**Euphoriafalls: Phillip says he'll never forgive you! But I will. Hugsies? Haha. No, really nothing can beat that porsche...cept maybe a ferhhari 330 gt 2 plus 2...ah, but im getting carried away. Good idea. Considered it for a while, wrote it in actually, then decided that I really wanted to see Bella hotwire something. But thanks for that tidbit. DUMB ON THE PART OF THE FORD COMPANY. Lol. THANK YOU my newly refound friend.**

**Tatiana: Thank you very much. I like your name. Reminds me of shakespeare.**

**Alexa: Well, I'm glad you think so. My mom thinks its a waste of my young life. :D Thank you.**

**Xxsocialdistortionistxx: MEANIE! Go on and leave again! Do it! No not really. I luv you just too gosh darned much. HAHAHA to the people eater. What's that from? I can't remember... I know ive sang that at some point in my life. But anyway, Im happy if your happy. Thanks (and what i mean by thanks is that if you leave again ill set the people eater on you) :D Come again. :D**

**XD: Yes i know. My fantasies came crashing back down too. Tragic really...wat they make us suffer through. I know I go through that problem...every second. If it weren't for spellcheck, you'd think i was writing in another language I swear. Lol. Dont warn them...Spring your imagination on them at unexpected moments. That's what I do. It's rather fun if i do say so myself. THANK YOU!! Ur the greatest.**

**Hibiscusqt: awwwwww( blushes, tear) AWWWW!! Here, have some of my mostly nonexistent amazingness. Key word: nonexistent. But hey, Awwwww... ily. And hibiscuses. And THANKKKKKK YOUUUUU!! (imagine an echo in a giant cave)**

**Hypernessisavirtue: New emoticon. So exciting. Can't breathe. OKAY!**

**Albnal33: This is one of them right now! :D lol. Poor jakey wakey. I hear those mexican convicts can be rather scruffy and brutal. And thnx, my friend.**

**EnderACullen: All is revealed! And by hotwiring of course! Haha, thank u.**

**Supernaturalgirl: oooooo...i see...it does make it rather exciting to look at. I did slow down from my usual pace. I hope this one picks it back up, although i did try to describe a lot. Hmmm... anyway, thanks and bon apetit!**

**Minimeyer: good, mwuhahahaha, a partner in crime! Your talk of Lambhorginis inspired a part in this chapter. Commited? Hmmm...sounds foreboding. Im commited...to chocolate! Lol. I really dont know what im saying. Antonia made me a tequila... thank you.**

**Clumsy318: aw, thanks, my friend. Need? Well, since it is now officially a neccesscity, I give you (drum roll plz), chapter twenty eight.**

**Angelfromhell: THAT WAS THE SWEETEST THING EVER!! That thing that you pmed me. You singlehandedly made the world a brighter place. CONGRATS! Haha. errrrr...it's right before Edward takes Bella to his house to eat the dinner Esme cooked for her, after they watch the clouds. Good luck with that novel thing. I keep trying, but none of my plots seem good enough, so I have parts of about twenty nine novels. Literally. Twen.ty.Nine. lol. Maybe I'll finish one one day, when ms. Muse comes aknockin. Glad my hags gave you an idea. And thank YOU!**

**Silly Ella: Yes, you were. I love that coincidence! It's like it was meant to be or something. Ahhh... but, coming back to earth now, tragic really...that you can't change colors at will. My chameleon can...which makes him better than your AT&T and fancy smancy Spanish COMBINED! His name is Jefferey, and he'll eat you! He's a vicious guard chameleon! :D thank you.**

**Jalice: Why thank you very much. The family of the girl who was mutilated by shampoo was very grateful, then asked what a Jalice was. It was a long night... o, and good news: I passed!!**

**Monkey: sry. Jeeze...i just can't live up to your expectations, monkey! I just can't! (goes away to cry). Nah, jk. Lol to the tinkerbell thing. Unfortunately, I seem to be slightly anti-crossover. The only way Peter Pan is getting into my story is on the side of a peanut butter jar. Lol. Even though it does contain salmonella. THANKS FOR REVIEWING i sure hope to god i don't get writer's block.**

**Nobodyparticular: thanks for the love!! I feel it right here, in the depths of my soul. Over dramatic much? Why, yes, I am. **

**Yan niao: THANK YOU! U people know how i love specification. Just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. And yes, you did spy references... tehehehe...WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?? THe CIA? The FBI? WHO? You're entirely too perceptive to be normal... but thanks anyways.**

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen: Pandy found it...but then he ate it before i could stop it...and then the smirfs took us hostage. Beep, beep, beep...im trying to SOS you in morse code...is it working? Well, while im being a bored prisoner of war and all... I might as well respond, no not bad. Sometimes they make me want to puke. Last night, however, we played rockband till the wee hours of the morning. I think that was my inspiration for this chapter actually...hmmm... lol, alright, no FF fangirl gladiator showdown. And I was SOOOO looking forward to it. I LOVE YOU TOO...and thanks for the capital letters. And your welcome. THANK YOU, though. P.S. Lemon. Just lemon.**

**Kerssica: Those crazy friend people. Cant live with em. Cant live without em. Ah, i wish i could just leave. Unfortunately, my family would disown me. No really. They would. Haha, true love needs to be tested. Does this mean that we're like truerrrrr love now? Truesstttt love? Eh, who cares? Thanks for the review, and as for the chocolate, your welcome...hypothetically of course.**

**Emberwillow: that was a lot of YAYAYAYAY's. But i read and loved every one of them. :D hmmmm...which team am I on? Not even I know the answer to that one, my friend. Not even I. Good grief am I dramatic today...that would explain this chapter. Thanks as always!**

**Allyg1990: I think Im going to go read some of your xmen stuff. It looks awesome. Neways, glad you liked it. Can't wait to write Jacob's reaction!! So excited. The end... the end... that's so sad now that I think about it. This is my favorite story I've ever written...I guess all good things must come to an end though. (sigh) Thanks.**

Chapter 28

I was about to become a criminal. I'd grabbed a map of the West Coast inside, Alice had taught me the basics of hot-wiring, and I'd already set my mind to it half an hour ago. It went against everything I stood for, everything Charlie had engraved into my moral code. My dad would have a fit if he saw me now.

Nervous anticipation set the adrenaline racing through my veins, so it didn't matter that I had two measly hours of sleep under my belt. It was exciting, I had to admit, getting ready to do something this insanely illegal, but it was also frightening. If I got caught, I'd never reach Edward in time, not to mention be locked up for a lifetime or two. Then, Jacob and I would be in the same boat.

I made a promise to myself then and there, that if Jacob wasn't out of prison by the time I was finished with...whatever I was going to do, I'd force Edward to bail him out...if we both were still alive by then. I cringed, and wondered for the umpteenth time today if this was all just a rouse.

However, I really couldn't take that chance if it wasn't.

I ambled down the sidewalk, blending right in with the mobile throng. No one even gave me a second glance. That was good. Staying inconspicuous was a key part of the plan.

There was a parking lot above me, above the level of the main building up on a small hill, reserved for people that had opted to drive here instead of just getting dropped off. I couldn't see it from here, but could only hope that it was full of cars to hide behind, and that guards weren't patrolling it quite so vigorously.

I couldn't use the main entrance obviously. The guards might ask questions. I had a better chance of them asking questions on my way out and then making a run for it than if I was stopped from the get-go.

I let my feet follow the path of the thin strip of concrete for a while. Eventually, it took me around the side of the building. No one was here.

Perfect. Now I had time to catch my breath and plot my next move.

First, I had to get to the parking lot without being seen. There was no forest in San Francisco unfortunately. There were, however, rows of wide metal sheds in front of me.

The edge of the first one was a few feet away from me and just slightly to my left. Quickly, I raced along it till I came to the backside of the building.

My eyes scanned the terrain I had to cross. There were a total of five sheds, with back doors on every one that someone could walk out of at any moment. I put a hand on my diaphragm to try to control my breathing, and tried to think stealthy thoughts. Clumsiness here could ruin my life.

I tiptoed past the first two sheds without incident. Then, I heard the most normal, yet terrifying sound I think I'd ever heard – the squeak of a door moving on its hinges.

As luck would have it, I was near the edge of the shed, so I ducked around the side, and listened.

While I was standing here, the people entering and exiting the airport had a clear view of me, and I could only hope that they didn't notice me.

The door squeaked again. I peeked around the corner to see if the coast was clear again and breathed a long sigh of relief.

This time, I sprinted as fast as my feet would carry me around the sheds, then hung a left and ran along the base of the embankment for a ways until it turned off. This was what I was looking for – a back, well hidden entrance. I crept up the knoll to the top. A sea of metallic cars greeted my eyes, light poles interspersed between them. Somewhere up around the middle of those poles, I noted with horror, were reflective black spheres I knew to be security cameras. I ducked behind the taillights of an SVU and tried to scout out the car I would be borrowing..._secretly_ borrowing.

I needed something not too noticeable, but not too hard to break into either. A Camry? No, my mind chastised, it was too new, this year's model by the looks of it. Surely it was chocked full of alarm systems.

A green Range Rover sat on my left. It just looked too hard to get into.

I lifted my head to peek through the rear window. In front of this car, was a gray Tacoma. It was an older version, and smaller. Luckily though, it had a sliding back window that its owner had forgotten to slide it all the way shut. Getting in wouldn't be a problem. Starting the ignition might.

I crawled around the side of the SUV, climbed up on the Tacoma's back bumper, and crouched down in the truck bed, ready at any second for sirens to come blazing out of the loudspeakers. Cautiously, I slid open the window the rest of the way and wiggled my way in feet first.

I gasped once inside, realizing that I had just commited my first real offense of the day – breaking and entering, well, really just entering thanks to the careless owners.

Now came the hard part. Alice had told me that if there was a panel covering the ignition under the steering wheel, it was a lost cause, but if it was open, all I had to do was cross the red wires. Crimes were so temptingly simple.

This truck was an inferno, and the sweat beading on my forehead only added to my anxiety as I stretched myself across both front seats and looked under the steering wheel.

No panel. Ironically, I thanked God.

Now all I had to do was look for two red wires. Ah, found them, right beside a shiny metal box. The next procedure was to remove the rubber casings around them without damaging the wires. I looked around for a tool.

In the glove department, I found pair of pliers with a rubber handle. Carefully, I began to chip away pieces of the red rubber, until I finally saw the thin wires underneath.

I breathed in deeply. This was the moment of truth. Squinting my eyes together, I brought the copper parts of both the wires together. My hands jerked away when sparks landed on them, but the truck roared to life. Phase two complete. Why, then, was I more nervous now?

I hopped up into the driver's seat and tried to act like it was my Tacoma I was driving. After a few more deep breaths, I put it into drive and pressed the gas pedal. I drove across the lot and fell into line behind more cars trying to leave.

A guard was checking licenses and paperwork for each one. I'd have to lie again. When this was over, I vowed to go to church every single Sunday, and tithe like no one has ever tithed before.

More vehicles trickled out of the parking lot, and finally, it was my turn.

"Hello, Miss," said man in a policeman suit. He had a five o' clock shadow and bright blue eyes. He looked to be about mid-thirties.

"You know," he teased, "I like a woman in a truck."

I fought back the urge to puke. Then, the tears came. I could bring them up easily thinking about Edward.

His smile disappeared, and he backpedaled. "Oh, I didn't mean it like that...I...erm...don't cry. You won't tell my boss, will you?" He looked uncomfortable.

This couldn't have worked out better if I planned it. "You know, I just might," I yelled. "After all the trouble you put us through at these stupid checks, and then you have to hit on poor lonely girls! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man looked stricken. "No, I uhh...I didn't mean anything by it. Please don't tell him. Here," he gestured to the road in front of me, "I won't bother you anymore. Go ahead."

I sniffed and gave him a scalding glare, before putting the truck in drive and pulling away.

"Miss!" I heard him call. My face muscles contracted in an automatic reaction to being found out.

"What?" I snapped, tapping my breaks.

"I don't mean to be rude or anything, but..."

I waited for it, the accusation.

He continued, "Your parking brake is on."

I looked beside me. Sure enough, the lever was pulled up.

"Oh...thanks," I mumbled.

He nodded and turned away. I put my parking brake down and tried to drive away again.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

The full impact of my actions hit me somewhere along Interstate 5 North. I, Isabella Marie Cullen, klutz and danger magnet extraordinaire, had just pulled off a full-fledged criminal act without a hitch. Sure, Lady Luck had been on my side, but I couldn't help but being a little proud of myself. After the pride though, came revulsion for feeling proud about breaking the law. It just wasn't in my nature.

After leaving the airport, I had consulted my map and navigated correctly through the city and onto the interstate that would get me to Oregon at least. I was going twenty over the speed limit, and it was two o' clock in the afternoon, so I was already more than halfway there. I still threw regular glances over my shoulder to check for cops.

A police cruiser pulled up beside me once. I got so nervous that I fell on my steering wheel and beeped the horn. He just looked over and smiled though.

The radio was turned up as loud as it would go to distract my mind from thoughts that revolved around Edward dying and prison blocks. I was changing location so fast though, that I had find new stations frequently.

My heart skipped a few beats in panic when I realized that the pointer in my gas gage was on the red line. I'd have to stop for gas at the next exit.

I turned off onto the first ramp I saw, and crossed the highway at the bottom to pull into a BP station.

The first thing I noticed, while I was pumping gas into my car, was a bright yellow Porsche 911 Turbo occupying a parking space on the curb. It looked exactly like the one from Volterra, the one Edward had gotten Alice for Christmas. The door opened, and out of it stepped the last person I would've expected.

Alice Cullen, in all her glory, pointed across the top to the passenger's side.

"Get in," she commanded. Her usually exuberant, carefree voice had a different edge to it today.

Out of shock, I did exactly what I was told. I walked over to the Porsche, opened the door, and sat in the seat.

In silence, she sped out of the gas station and back up onto the interstate, and I soon learned that Bella Swan speeding was _nothing_ compared to Alice Cullen speeding.

Finally she spoke. "First of all, you are the stupidest girl I've ever met. Second, I am going to kill you if Edward doesn't first. And third, Bella what's _wrong _with you?" she wailed. "There was a Lambhorgini in that parking lot! Out of all the cars there, you pick a Tacoma? Have I taught you nothing!"

It felt good to laugh.

"It's not funny," Alice said, but a twitch of her lips gave her away. "It's dangerous up there Bella."

"Edward's in trouble."

She didn't say anything, and her mouth hardened in a straight line.

"Don't try to pretend like he isn't Alice. You wouldn't have come gotten me if he wasn't."

Again, she remained speechless.

"How bad is it?" I whispered.

"He got hit."

"Hit?"

She took a deep, unnecessary breath. "You really want to know?"

"Yes."

"These...Unseely," she started, "They've got the best weapon you could possibly have because it's invisible."

My brows pulled together.

She continued, "They can...how to explain it... All right, I'll use something you can understand. It's like a microwave. You can't see the waves, but they still cook the food." She gave a sigh. "The Unseely control energy somehow, and when they direct it toward you, it feels like slamming into a wall or something, but when they tag team and direct their collective energy towards one person, it can be..." she paused here.

"What?"

"Deadly. So we try to keep them separated if we can. But Edward... well, he got cornered."

"He's still alive though, right?" I asked frantically. "_Right_?"

"Barely," she whispered. "I've seen it though, Bella. I saw you saving him. We just have to get there in time."

I nodded. "Thanks, Alice."

"Hey," she smiled, "you're family now."

We didn't talk much the rest of the time. Alice was busy scanning her family's futures, and I was worrying too much. I watched the landscape outside my window transform, from barren scrubland, to the sharp peeks of mountains, to the Oregon coastline sprinkled with red and yellow wildflowers. All the while, the clock was ticking louder, the Sun was sinking lower, and Alice was driving faster.

I knew though, that we had hit the Washington peninsula when rain suddenly descended upon the car and dark green trees began flying by. Finally, we reached familiar streets. Up ahead was a fork in the road. One would take us straight into town. The other would take us closer to the school and out to the suburbs.

Alice stopped before it and closed her eyes, before deciding to take the road on the right.

"What would've happened if we went the other way?" I asked.

"You got eaten." She didn't even take her eyes off the road.

"Oh...thanks."

"No problem."

The city was a ghost town, not a soul in sight.

Alice drove till we reached that well-known hidden entrance that would take me to the Cullen's house. Her eyes stayed glassy the whole way. I assumed she thought this was too risky to take her black orbs off my future for even a single second. We got out of the car, and my ears were met with an eerie silence. Usually there were the sounds of birds chirping and leaves rustling. The only sounds now though were the rainy drizzle lightly pattering the treetops and thunder-like booms in the distance.

Beside me, I heard Alice gasp.

"Jasper!"

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Edward's in his room. Carlisle's with him." And with that, she disappeared into the forest.

As soon as the fact that Edward was in a twenty-yard radius from me sank in, I kicked up my heels and sprinted towards the door, flung it open, and dashed up the stairs.

I stopped at his door though. Quiet sobs were issuing from within. Looking into the room, I saw Carlisle, back facing me, sitting in a chair by the bed Edward had bought, his head bowed and his back heaving with tearless sobs.

He spoke. "I've worked for over three-hundred years to cure people. Three hundred years! And now I can't even save my own son." His voice was hoarse, and it broke my heart to see him like this.

I entered the room and moved around Carlisle. The vision I saw on the bed there sent shocks through my body like I had been electrocuted.

My father-in-law looked up at me through tortured eyes. I was sure my expression was similar. I glanced back down at my husband.

A gash tore his shirt down the middle. The skin under it, normally so milky white, was black and raised. Various holes and gashes were ripped in his jeans as well.

But that's not what shocked me. What shocked me was the expression on his face. It was an expression of infinite, bottomless peace.

Bronze wisps framing his closed eyes, hands loosely resting down at his sides, Edward looked like he was sleeping –entirely too prosaic of an action for him.

I hadn't expected this. I expected pain and agony, to see him writhing somewhere, not this utter tranquillity he seemed to be held in.

I walked over and stroked his unresponsive face, then thought of the vow he made me when he said he would not get hurt.

My fingers brushed stray hairs away from his forehead. "You promised you wouldn't..."

**A/N: All right, so when I promised that you'd love this chapter...I lied. Errr... sorry? So...how about that weather? And hot-wiring a car is actually incredibly simple. I did it with my own car just to see if it would work. So, it isn't entirely unrealistic. Read and review. I fully expect death threats. Bring. Them. On. :D Feel free to get creative! O and whoever wrote that thing about me on that twilightsaga website, I LOVE YOU! Thanks. That meant so much. (wipes tear out of eye)**


	34. Chapter TwentyNine ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer**: Ahem…, disclaimers make me think of this song: "Nobodyyyyy knows the trouble I've seen. Noboddyyyy knows my sorrow." That is all. (don't. own. It. )

_**You guys know I love you. Even when you hate me, and want me to drop dead, and make superfluous death threats, I love you. Thanks for the big 555! And the 123 favorites.**_

**Cody: err… good luck with that. Seeing as I'm invincible (!!), your threat falls useless upon my ears. 300 pounds? Pshh…that's for rookies. IIII can lift 400023432. Exactly that number. Exactly. Why didn't I comply you ask? Just to make you mad. Nah, jk, although u do threaten rather seriously scary. Good thing I'm invincible (!!). And I gave you a cliffie…again, just to make you mad. :D Thanks, and have a nice day!**

**Albnal33: awww…that one's the worst. Although you did talk about the chapter in a good way sort of…so I forgive you. But just barely. And since you said please….**

**Eliane: Because Im an evil Keebler elf. That's why! Haha. Thanks for the positivity, and got cha'. Im on it. **

**Tatiana: why, thank you. (blushes) Im touched. I think I was thinking of titania, the queen's name in Midsummer Night's Dream. Hmmm… too much Shakespeare than what's good for me. **

**Jalice: Thanks. I thought it was one of my best. Kindof disappointed by the review number, but only kindof. Nice coinage: fawesome. Mind if I use it? Lol. Keep up the fawesome reviews. Enjoy…or not. Just tell me about it.**

**Broken: Yep, Bella and the hags were right about the old chap. And since you put black berries. I made them black in my head, I will comply. And thank you!**

**Isabelladreamer: awwww( tear, blush, tear, BLOWS NOSE INTO TISSUE) That was so nice. I'm touched. Yay! You made my day. This is one happy turtle. Im dancing around in my turtly home in my turtly socks with my music (about turtles of course). THANK YOU SO MUCH. P.S. I like turtles. Can you tell?**

**Marikaemmie: Yepiroo…okay, I'll send over some ketchup…and some Worchester sauce (How in God's name do you pronounce that?) and some mushrooms so you can sautee them for me. Or can you do that in your mental hospital. The one Im in lets me sautee things…like mushrooms and…cotton candy. But others are different I guess. I also get to play with legos…if I pay my monthly fee of 2 bucks. Lol. Excessive rambling about imaginary situations is o so much fun. Here they come with the needles. Thanks, and adios for now!**

**Nobodyparticular: they are too cool…yeah! And you know what, they don't like you either! So, ha! Ha dee ha ha ha! Lol. Don't hold it for too long. When you start seeing black dots, please stop. But, you know I love your reviews specially when they talk about reactions. Call me crazy. No, it's really okay… and as always, thanks.**

**Angelfromhell: glad I made you laugh and err…have fun "camping". I know what you're reallyyyy doing sister. Don't act like I don't! And about the novel, I hope you finish it too. And that you get it published so I can read it. Can you settle with one chapter? THANKS! Phew…so glad I got that off my chest, the final thing that is. It's like I can breathe again or something.**

**Edwardsgirl111: thanks. Ahhh…I left you hanging just a day or two. Not too bad, right? You'll see jazz eventually. Don't you worry. Lol. Thanks for the good comments. **

**Allyq1990: hmmmm…who knows? O yes, me…I know. MWUHAHHAHA. Yea…my dad was a mechanic, so Im pretty spiffy with cars. I actually replaced the wiper fluid with Mountain Dew one time, and then ran it through to inside my car. It was like a free fountain drink to go. :D thank you.**

**Euphoriafalls: YAY HUGSIES! I love hugs…but especially when they have ies on the end of them. Haha. Phillip scorned your hug. Maybe you need to give him a car instead…like say, a Ferrari 330 gt 2 plus 2? For phillip! For phillip! How was pride and prejudice. Love that book, and movie…movieSSSSS. Lol. Yep, im kinda popular now. It's weird. Newho, I will fight you to the death for tyler lautner. Or well, at least Indian leg wrestle you…that seems fitting. 2 o clock in the wal mart parking lot! (thanks) 2 o clock!**

**Socialdistortionist: is that, slight indention deep, or core of the earth deep? There's a difference you know. But thanks for the comments. Don't cry. Have a tissue…and a mop. Ly. And thanks.**

**K: Of course! My long lost best friend that I didn't even know existed! My nonexistent long lost best friend! Wow. It's a small world. Well, did I update quickly enough? Are we still tight? Like this (crosses fingers together)**

**Marialice: Awwwww… no death threat? Im disappointed. Lol. But thanks anyways. **

**kaliKOMMOTION: Well, points for creativity. Definitely. That's what all the little brown stuff was on that apple pie (you can get 2 for a dollar, you know). And why my stomach feels funny, and why I did burp up a rather wet looking monkey this morning. Of course. THIS explains it. HOW DID FRED FIND ME? HOW COULD YOU? I can handle machetes, but morning breath? Good grief, youd think I wasn't on your favorite author's list. Haha. Well, thanks, cya!**

**laurenBTTwilightFan: Begging is futile! Lol…I mean MWUHAHHAHA! Well, glad you love it. Ly. Blah be dee blah. THANKS!**

**Alexa: I plan to actually. Whenever I stop obsessing over someone else's book. STEPHENIE. GET. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD! O sorry, where was I? O yes, I was at the "thank you". Lol. Seriously tho.**

**Tegirlfrommamestris: (looks to girl beside me as I watch you twitch on the floor) You think we should call someone? GIRL BESIDE ME: "Nah, this is a regular occurrence." Lol. Thanks though really.**

**Minimeyer: Well, you get the "Best Reaction Award". First Ever! It's like a grammy, but better! Lol. OMG they got the wrong david! What's wrong with America! (talking about American Idol btw) Well, in my opinion anyways. Torture IS fun, especially with Barnie music…tehehehe…and play doh. LOTS of play doh. Moving on, way to stand up to your brother! Lol. Hide that chocolate! It's like a covert operation. You should give it a name…like Operation Cuckoo For Cocoa Puffs…or something less conspicuous. Thank you, you smart cookie you.**

**Meepingborker: Yep, easy as that. It's either the two red wires, or the two matching ones… newer models sometimes have different casings to try to foil burglars though. And thanks.**

**Hibiscusqt: No. not yet, anyway. And yes, Bella hotwired a car. She's spiffy like that. The world has come to… cheese. Cheese and ham sandwiches.**

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen: Pleading…breaking…through…tough…turtle…shell. Haha. Jk. Ok, so it's not funny, but still. Yeah, jeeze, about the deathmatch (steelcage?), way to ruin an author's hopes and dreams. Your rawr was very vampire like. With a pinch of Simba. From the lion king member? O and to the quote… that was the best! I have to read some of her stuff now! Haha. Hmmm…ill think on the penname thing and pm some things to you. THANKSSSSSSSSSSSS (parseltongue ;) **

**KobrahEdo: hmmm…you'll see! And thanks for the review.**

**Emberwillow: OKAY OKAY! You win the best death threat EVER INVENTED IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD contest. It was like a crossover fanfiction in itself. Fun to read. But…erm, now im going to have to make some serious fortifications on that bomb shelter. BTW, is maximum ride any good? Everyone talks about it, but I dunno. ONE book I haven't read…just one. And thanks…I think.**

**Silly ella: of course like the butler! Who else? Haha…GIVE IN TO HIS COLOR CHANGING WAYS OF dOOM!! And, omg, the horror of your death but not quite threat! (cept for the salmon. I love me some chicken of the sea :D ) The cupcake table was the worst…how could you do this to me?? How?? Thank you :D **

**Yan niao: Does not know the answer… wishes did. Why am talking like this? Who knows? Yep…it seems like he DIED!! What was that? Who said that? (le gasp)… k. Im on it.**

**Mandja: tehehehe…yes…oh yes… I can…bu thanks for reviewing.**

**Shinobi shinigami: hehe…ahhhh…forks. I wonder if theres a town called spoons? Haha. Well anyways, yes, hotwiring is that easy. If you try again, just connect the MATCHING wires, or the red ones. Don't die shinobi. And thanks…since it wasn't THAT BAD!! (sulks in corner) give me a minute…**

**Clumsy: HOLY SHISKABOBS. Im touched. WOW. That deserves a world record for sure. I sure hope you used copy and paste…otherwise I think your hands would just fall off. (thanks though :D) loved it.**

**Sandalswithsox: Dedications my middle name. haha. Edward could be sexy if he was 80 years old. O wait…he is. Haha thanks.**

Chapter 29

Tears flowed freely down my face as I stroked Edward's. "You promised!"

"Bella…" croaked Carlisle. "It's over." He sounded so defeated.

I shook my head. "No…I can save him."

"There's nothing we can…"

"I can save him," I snapped, "and I will."

"I'm not risking your life for his!" Carlisle said. The fire was back in his eyes, and with the purple bags under them, and his lips pulled back across his teeth, he truly looked menacing. That, however, wasn't going to faze me.

"You're my daughter now, too," Carlisle continued, "He wouldn't have wanted that, Bella. It's enough that you're alive."

"I won't live without him," I threatened.

"Yes," Carlisle challenged, "you will. We'll make you."

"You can't force me to live."

"Then we'll change you."

"You wouldn't."

Carlisle sighed and hung his head again. I knew he knew I was right, and that none of them would dare change me against my will.

"I won't lose both of my children!" he cried. Desperation had replaced the calm compassion that usually dominated his temperament.

It touched me beyond words how he considered me to be part of his family now, but I had to convince him to let me try to save Edward.

"I can save us both," I told him, attempting to keep a level head. "It won't hurt me much. I don't think he needs that much blood." I was lying of course. I fully expected to die for him. "You can stop him when he gets his strength back and we'll both be just peachy." I said that knowing good and well that Carlisle probably wouldn't be able to stop Edward once he had my super blood rushing through him.

"I can't do that Bella," Carlisle said. "Edward will regret it. Do you want that?"

"He's already agreed to change me. If he can get over that, he can get over anything. Anyways, he has an eternity to get over it."

"What if his venom gets in your bloodstream? What then?"

"That _is_ the eventual goal," I said.

Carlisle sighed, and I knew I'd won.

I walked out of the room, heading for the kitchen. "I'll be back in a second."

In the far left corner, on the countertop, I found what I was looking for – a wooden box, with thin holes bored into it. And sheathed in the holes, steak knives. I gripped the black handle of one and pulled it out, before then continuing on my mission, back up the stairs and into Edward's room.

"Where do I need to cut?" I asked him.

He'd watched me enter with curious eyes. "First," he said, "we need to sterilize it. Here." He held out a hand for me to place the knife into. I did so, and faster than my eyes could catch, Carlisle was gone from the room. I heard something rattling around in the kitchen, so I rushed down to where I'd just come from.

Carlisle had water in a pan on the stovetop, the knob turned on high.

"I always knew these would come in handy one day," he joked about the silver pot, his light tone misplaced right now. I smiled anyway, though.

Bubbles started breaking the water's smooth, transparent surface, just a few at first, but then more and more, until little streams of water leapt from the pot. They landed on the stove eye, sizzling and sending up billows of steam.

Carlisle submerged the silver part of the knife into the water and held it there for a few seconds, before he switched off the knob and walked towards me. "Let's go upstairs."

I nodded, and began walking back up the stairs yet again, possibly for the last time ever. Suddenly, everything became precious. The way this house smelled, clean with the barest hint of lemon from Esme's incessant cleaning frenzies, was precious. Each and every panel in the hallway, the wooden cross hanging on the wall, the way the railing felt smooth and polished under my palm, the view from the giant windows: they were all suddenly so incredible. If I could, I'd miss this.

I saw Edward's serene face though, and didn't care. It was all worth it. Rescuing him was worth everything.

"I'm sorry I don't have any anesthetics," Carlisle's voice broke through the reverie, "I wasn't expecting you, or anyone else who would need them for that matter."

I shook my head. "I've done worse."

He laughed. "Don't I know it."

I held out my hand for the knife.

"Bella, I think, with your propensity to injure yourself, that I should probably…" He trailed off.

"I was already planning to injure myself." Where was he going with this?

"Yes, I know, but you tend to hurt yourself even when there isn't an intention, and with the original inclination already established, any extra motivation for harm could be…superfluously dangerous."

I flushed scarlet, but acknowledged that he was correct. "Okay…"

Carlisle stepped towards me, and held the back of arm gently in his cold fingers. His eyes held the emotional detachment of a surgeon. This was just another day at the office for him.

He placed the sharp edge of the hot knife onto my skin, perpendicular to my arm, a few inches from my wrist, and pressed. I gasped, and watched the blood pool to the surface of his cut.

"That should do it," he mumbled.

I turned and dashed to bedside, but then stopped, unsure of what to do next. I held my bleeding arm close to Edward's nose, hoping that my smell could coax him out of his trance, but he remained as he was – still, peaceful, and lifeless.

"You have to drink this, Edward," I told him softly, crawling up on the mattress to sit kneel beside him.

Carlisle came and leaned over his son.

"Edward…" I called his name.

Hidden eyes moved behind closed lids, and his face turned towards my wounded limb.

"That's right," I encouraged him. "Do it."

I moved my arm to where it was near his mouth. Blood was starting to overflow the boundaries of Carlisle's incision. Edward's mouth parted slightly, his face tilting upward. I moved my arm closer…until finally his lips touched my skin. His reaction to that was instantaneous. I could see it in his throat muscles, how they contracted as he swallowed, and then another muscle twitch in his jaw as he drew even more of the red liquid from my body.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

I could feel his strength returning to him as he drank, and I wondered if he would be super strong, well _stronger_, after this, or if my blood would simply cure and return him to normal – as normal as a vampire can be anyway.

Eventually he lifted his head off the pillow and clamped his hands around my forearm on either side of the cut. They closed down tighter with each passing second.

A pained hiss escaped my lips.

"I'm sorry Bella," Carlisle said. "I'll stop him when he's ready."

He was sitting beside me, watching his adopted son take desperate gulps of lifeblood from my arm. It was strange seeing Edward like this.

I wasn't frightened, a smidgen bewildered, but mostly curious. I'd never witnessed Edward like this before and struggled for a word to describe the scene. He was too familiar to be animalistic, too beautiful to be monstrous, too loved to be terrifying. In this moment, while he was a slave to his thirsts, he was almost...infantile. My mind embraced that description. Infantile, like a newborn with a baby bottle.

A crash sounded throughout the room. I glanced over and saw two ruby-eyed vampires coming through the busted hole in the glass window and fast approaching. Frantically, I tried to pull my arm away from Edward.

He snarled and brought it closer to his starving lips.

Carlisle was up before I could bat an eyelash, standing between the two unwelcome guests and me.

"Gentleman," he said, "There are two ways you can leave my home – immediately or dead." His voice was upsettingly placid.

The two vampires snarled. "We haven't had blood for three days!" the red headed one said.

The one beside him, with broad shoulders and a thick mop of chestnut hair, eyed me like a thick, juicy steak. "She's just one little human."

"She's our human," Carlisle said, tone still tranquil. "Off limits. Now, there's war enough out there." He pointed out the window. "Let's not add another battle to it."

As I was watching, Edward rolled me over till he was hovering overtop me. Dots swam before my eyes, and the edges of my vision were smeared.

Too much blood loss, and no one to pull him off me.

"Why does _he _get to?" the red headed one exclaimed. "You broke your own rules there, doc."

"Edward?" I rasped. "Edward, stop."

He was clearly strong again. Pain kept shooting up my right arm in jolts. I brought my left hand and tugged on his hair. "Stop!"

He let more of his granite weight fall on me so that it was hard to draw breath. Carlisle was fighting the two vampires now. I could see them by way of my peripheral vision, through all the multicolored dots.

The redheaded one got a punch in, and I flinched. Carlisle pushed him back out the window.

The image of Carlisle fighting was wrong. Misplaced somehow, like a dove fighting. Even though I knew he was fully capable of it, and that he had fought Victoria's newborn army, my mind had trouble grasping the concept when it was played out before my eyes.

Freshman year, when Edward had frequently likened us to Romeo and Juliet, Carlisle had been the benevolent friar in my mind. Shakespeare didn't write the friar into a battle. The friar wasn't _supposed_ to be in one. It was wrong.

"Edward!" I yelled, beating on him with my fist. "You're hurting me. I'm Bella, remember? Your wife!" Maybe that would reach him through the blind lust.

A low growl came from deep inside his throat. His legs held mine down, and he yanked my arm hard. Through anguished gasps, I continued pleading my husband to spare my life.

"Edward!" I screamed. "I'm going to die if you don't stop! Please! I'm your wife! You're going to kill your wife!"

The frigid hands stayed wrapped around my arm, but the lips pulled away. Thick tangles of bronze hair covered his face, so I couldn't tell what his expression held. His back rose and fell with deep breaths, and I waited.

And then, fast as lightning, I was staring into Edward's eyes. I was staring into his furious, outraged, red tinged eyes. His hands had moved to my shoulders, pinning me to the bed he now had me straddled on.

"What are you _doing_ here?" he yelled. "I sent you away to protect you!" His hands pushed me down hard into the mattress. "I'd rather _die_ than see you get hurt! And I just...I just..."

He looked away, ashamed of his actions. Then he wiped a small dribble of blood away from his mouth.

"Bella, I just...oh God." He pressed my shoulders down again. "_Why_?" he yelled.

My eyes closed and I flinched. I'd never seen him this angry with me. He'd certainly never yelled before.5

"Oh no," he said softly, fingertips gently stroking my face. "No! Please don't be afraid of me. Please? That was just so very stupid of you, Bella, so very, very stupid." His head bowed. "I apologize. You must detest me."

My voice came out in a whisper. "I wanted to save you – because I love you." I gave a hollow laugh. "I never get to save you."

"You astound me," he said. In between dots and flashes of darkness, I saw his lips twist into a lopsided grin. I smiled. How I'd missed that.

"I stole a car," I told him, wanting to take the guilt and self-hatred out of his gaze.

Edward looked taken aback. "All by yourself?"

I nodded.

He beamed and kissed my forehead. "More Cullen by the minute." His gaze turned serious. "No more federal offenses for you though, okay?"

I grinned. "It was kind of fun."

He shook his head and shifted his weight. Some of it fell on my right arm, and I cried out in black pain.

His worried eyes traveled down to my injured arm. Deep purple bruises were formed already in the shape of his hands. Crimson blood continued to pour from the wound.

His hands delicately placed themselves over the marks, fitting perfectly into the shape.

"I..." he started, voice breaking. "I...how can you forgive me? No, no," He turned his ruby-rimmed eyes to pierce my soul. "_Don't_ forgive me. I don't deserve it." He held up his hands, stained with splotches of my own blood, to look at them. "I really am a monster now."

I died a little death to hear him sounding this broken.

He tore a piece of his shirt off, leaving a tantalizing strip of white abdomen exposed, and wrapped it gently around my arm, trying to stop the bleeding while avoiding the bruises.

"Don't do that!" I pleaded, referring to the way he cited himself as a monster, the battle around me forgotten at the moment. "I hate it when you do that!"

"You should," he murmured, tying the ends of the fabric together tightly.

I jerked his head to face mine, only succeeding because he let me.

"I _love_ you! You're not a monster. Don't you get that?" Edward's tortured gaze remained. "I'll love you always, no matter what you do."

Rage glinted metallic in his orbs, and he pushed my injured arm towards my face. The plum marks were held two inches away on my eye level. "How can you? Look at this!" I tried to turn my face away, but he brought it back with his other hand, cupping my chin in his vice-like grip. "Look at how I hurt you!" He ground the words out through clenched teeth. "I'm always hurting you!"

I really wanted to gasp at what his actions did to my arm. Needles shot up it again, but I reigned in the hiss and tried to stay calm.

"It doesn't hurt," I lied, even though tears were welling up in my eyes. He must have noticed.

Edward looked petrified, and he let my arm drop back to the comforter. His arms pulled me to him, cradling me against his chest. He thought the tears were formed from his shouting at me. Good. It was better that he thought that.

The sounds of the fight were gone now. I checked its progress. My gaze skipped over the broken glass shards lying scattered throughout Edward's room, to Carlisle's figure. He was turned away from us, staring out the gaping hole, arms hanging down but away from his sides like he was disgusted with himself. He must have destroyed the two intruders. _And so the friar killed the fair Veronans..._

I winced. So much death over me.

Edward saw the swift contraction of my facial muscles. "Am I hurting you again?"

Fiercely, with a grunt, I squeezed him tighter. "Get something straight. You. Don't. Hurt. Me. Got it?"

A dark chuckle escaped his lips, but he didn't respond to my question. He said something better. "I love you." His voice was silk and velvet and wine, and it intoxicated me more than any Mexican tequila ever could. I wanted to purr at the contentment those three words brought to me.

Momentarily, I was blinded. The Sun was finally sinking back into the earth again. The edge of it had just crept under the upper windowsill. Warm, golden rays bounced around the room. Carlisle and Edward both shimmered with a new orange glow.

"I should get back," Carlisle said. His voice sounded strained.

Edward shook his head furiously. "No. Someone has to stay and watch Bella."

My head popped up at that. "Excuse me? I save your life and now you're going to rush headfirst straight back into what endangered it in the first place? Are you nuts? I'm not almost losing you again!"

"Bella," he murmured, stroking my hair. "They need me."

"I need you."

"I'll be fine."

"That's what you said last time."

His perfect lips turned into a frown. "Carlisle?" he asked.

The man Edward considered to be his father didn't speak. That was worrisome, but evidence in my case.

Edward's brows creased.

"I think we should retreat." Carlisle finally spoke. "Save all the rest."

_The rest? The rest…Names will save all the rest._ Those were the words the three women said. I felt selfish now for not thinking of it.

They'd been right about Edward. Maybe they were right about that, too.

"Edward?" I asked. "Do you know their names?"

He looked puzzle and cocked his head to the side. "Of the Unseely?" I nodded. "I could if I wanted to. Why?"

"I think that's the key," I said. "You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you how I knew you were in trouble. I'm not sure I quite believe it myself. But, they were right about it. And I think they're right about this, too."

"Who?" he asked. "What are you talking about?"

"These three women came up to me at a bar in Mexico, and…"

"You went to a bar?" he asked furiously, then fiercely added, "I'm going to strangle that werewolf."

"No! I ran away from Jacob."

His emotions started out looking proud and smug, but quickly transmuted into anger. "That wasn't smart."

"You wouldn't be alive if I hadn't," I reminded.

"It's lucky _you're_ still alive, but continue."

"Well...it's just..."

I looked into Edward's expectant face. How in the world to explain this without sounding drunk and/or mentally insane...

"I just _know!_" There. I gave up. "I think that names have some sort of control over these things. Like... Rumplestilskein!"

The edges of his mouth turned up. Was he mocking me? All right, granted, bringing a bedtime story character into the mix probably wasn't the best idea that's happened upon me, but still, he could try to keep a straight face. These were his family's lives we were talking about!

"I'm serious, Edward! It's how I knew you were in trouble. I wouldn't have come back otherwise!" I was dying for him to believe me. "Trust me!"

I'd never begged him to trust me before, although I'd wanted to many times. Every time he kept something from me, I felt the lack of his total and complete trust in a way that made my stomach drop and my heart slow its pace a few humiliated beats.

Edward looked unsure.

"You don't, do you?" I asked.

"Trust you?" He brushed the back of his hand down the side of my face. "Of course I do."

"No," I countered, "You really don't. Not with most things, at least. You barely trust me to walk out the front door."

He looked stricken. "I simply want to protect you."

My head bowed. "I know...and I probably," I thought of the incident with Tyler's van, "wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for it. But I _can_ do some things. And I'm not lying. Why would I lie about this?"

Edward chuckled, then set a light kiss on my forehead, completely and unwillingly breaking my dark mood. "Of course I don't think you'd lie to me. I'm not questioning that."

"Then what _are_ you questioning!?"

"You said you were in a bar when you were told these things, is that correct?"

Why, oh why couldn't I have kept my mouth shut. "I wasn't drunk!"

"Not even the slightest bit?"

"Well, yes, but then the three women I was telling you about, well, one of them put their hands on my shoulder and then I was..." I stopped at this point. Hearing me say that would only confirm his suspicions of my intoxication.

"Please, Edward," I tried a different approach, "at least, try it and see!"

A perfect eyebrow arched. "Now you want me to go back?"

"No! I mean... I think this is the way to win..."

"Bella," Carlisle's soft tone entreated me, "It's exceedingly more complicated than a couple names."

I sighed. I'd dug my own trap, and then fallen right into it. "You have to believe me though."

"She's right," said a familiar musical voice.

I looked at the door to see my shopaholic savior. Her dark hair was a mess atop her head, but other than that, she looked immaculate, not a single speck of dirt on her clothes. If you hadn't known, you couldn't tell she had just come back from a war.

"Alice!" I cried. "Tell them."

"Bella's right," she reiterated, "Their names are sort of like...individual mind controllers. They have to do whatever you say if you know their names. I've seen it." She tapped her temple.

Edward studied her with curious eyes. "Interesting."

He must have seen it in her head.

"Told you," I said.

He looked ashamed. "I'm sorry Bella," he said, capturing my hands and kissing them. "Next time, don't start with the phrase 'I went to a bar in Mexico'."

"Guys," Alice pulled us out of our moment. Her eyes were glossy and distant looking again. "We need to get out of here. Now!"

I checked Edward's eyes, and the panic there told me all I needed to know. The war had come to us.

The fairies weren't what bothered me much anymore. I was certain that what the hags had told me would work.

What bothered me was the small detail that I was now amid an army of starved vampires and, thanks to the evacuation, the only meal around for miles.

In the next moment, I heard the sound of a door being ripped off its hinges.

**A/N: Hello. Well… to be frank, I have been working on this chapter for weeks, editing and reediting…all for you guys. So, reviews would be so much appreciated after all the (Bella's) blood, sweat, and tears (quite literally) I put into this chapter. Seriously guys, I've been working for days, blowing off my friends. I'm actually supposed to be at a party right now. Erm… so, I really feel like this is the best chapter in this story, and would be elated for reviews accordingly. This chapter was by far the most fun to write though. I finally described something even Steph herself hasn't gotten to yet: Edward drinking blood. I decided to put him in an "infantile" light, rather than a brutal one. Agree, disagree, TELLLLLL me about it! I also liked exploring Carlisle's deeper emotions. Phew, it's late, I'm tired. Till next time, ciao! Seriously people, 123 faves…review please. I worked overtime on this one, and I want to know what you think.**


	35. Chapter Thirty ACTUALLY

"Them or us

**Disclaimer:** Zip, zero, zilch, gooseegg, notta. That's how much of this series I own.

_**Well, I did get 45 one time, but 36 is AMAZING BEYOND WORDS, too! Ahhh…ly. LYLYLYLY…you appeased the review gods…my muses will let me write again.**_

**DistinguishedAnguish: Fixed that little problem…I think. I went back and tweaked that chapter some. Thanks, friend. Oh, and, glad you liked it. HOWWW far away? Like, Europe, Asia, Antarctica? Hopefully, not the latter, but hey! You never know these days. (shifty eyes). **

**Alexa: try to contain that enthusiasm…do you even WANT to know how many people this story has sent to the loony bin…the numbers are astronomical.**

**Melody Cullen: why, thank you. And of course a Tacoma! What else? And, haha, I got one and some guy actually did tell me that he liked a girl in a truck. So that part was based on real life experience. I didn't go ballistic on him, however.**

**Thegirlfromamestris1912: I know…poor door…it never did anything wrong. It was too young to die!! But anyway, thanks for the SM comparison. IM not worthy! (sigh). Does this update right now get me the 200 cookies.**

**Isabelladreamer: robot talk is so irritating. I've read so many stories that I don't think I could write like it if I tried. My mind is like set against it. So, that's good, because that was one of my goals starting out on this story. One day, I hope to be one…lol. That would be awesome. Have a few ideas floating around in my head…but till then, Ill borrow other peoples characters and force them to do my sick bidding (TEHEHEE) Newho, ly, thanks, toodles.**

**Angelfromhell: How was camping. Oviously exciting, seeing as you went mountain lion hunting…can I have some of that, like, now? Medium well, with some A1 sauce. YAY!! Please don't forget to pm it to me. That would completely make, well, my life really. Ew…one time I did get a grasshopper in my mountain dew…it was disgusting beyond description….well, back to the old pc. Thanks, and Cya!**

**Ol2bob: Have I told you lately that you are my hero? Or that I love you (insert song here). Yes…I just metaphorically serenaded you. THAT'S how much I love you. But, moving on, thanks for the zillion comments. I never dreamed Id ever get to 600 reviews, but you definitely gave me that push I needed to get there. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. Thanks for all the specification, and the quotes, and the well…existing. Sarcasm is the spice of life…or something like that. O yes about intuitive bella, it makes me mad when people write her all dumb and oblivious, like she doesn't understand whats going on or something….grrrr…im angry just thinking about it. Well, thanks…Again. :D**

**Sparklette: chills? Haha. Chill. Grill. Bill. Sill. Mill. Krill. (that's what whales eat) So, have I mentioned that I just got back from a party and am beat? Although, you should be used to half dead, slaphappy lily by now… thanks!**

**Ol2bob: thank you…just again, had to say it.**

**Dazzled26: guess if you tried? What happened? Meh, tomato tomahtoe. And ouch to the frying pan. Ill go grab my light saber to fend you off. Luke, I am your fateher cough cough.**

**Emberwillow: I DID, thanks. I went and hung out with peoples and slept all weekend, so I wasn't such a grouch. Ill try not to let this whole writing thing control my life again…but that's an empty promise. I liked the "e" alliteration…or Elliteration…haha…or..um…maybe that's just me. Erm…awkward turtle. (literally) And no, edward's bella didn't get into her system, he just sucked on her skin pretty much, but I didn't want to say it like that cuz it sounded crude. Ill read max ride…someday I guess. Cya, and thanks biggest fan!**

**Sillyella: Yah know what, label making companies? Chicken of the sea can be whatever the sam heck I want it to be! If I want tilapia to be chicken of the sea…or swordfish, it can be! And you cant tell me any different. ANARCHY ALL THE WAY! Haha. Jefferey is at my house right now. He says he teaches color changing lessons every Wednesday at 2 at mt. rushmore…so… stupid cupcake.**

**Moonifrui: ahhhh…I hate when computers are stupid. Mine is stupid on a daily basis. He didn't actually bite her though, he just sucked on her blood sort of.**

**Minimeyer: grrr… Archie was a cutie, tho!! Yeah, we, im gonna buy both their cds (cough cough limewire cough) anyway, so it doesn't matter. That sounds fierce, the barney play doh thing. Erm, yes, fierce. Well, thank you my double chocolate chip smart cookie! Cya round.**

**Roughdraft525: awww…thanks, haven't seen ya round for a while. Welcome back.**

**Jalice: Cool beans. And HOW COULD YOU??Edward wasn't behind me. I looked for three days straight. LIAR! LIAR! That was before I saw the 'just kidding' part. Next time, bold it or something. Sheesh. But awwww( blushes like nobodys business) thanks. To you and anna. Way to be fawesome…im gonna fawesome on over to the kitchen to eat some fawesome bread…too much? Lol. Thanks.**

**K: pshhh. I don't accept less than a billion. JKJK… your review was worth a zillion! Haha. Thanks for the appreciation. Ill cry when I end it, I swear…like a baby.**

**Bronzehairedfreak1901: interesting good or bad?? Thanks…I think…maybe.**

**Socialdistortionist: And I was soooo looking forward to seeing the core of the earth. It looked pretty smoking (no pun intended) in that movie, where there was this giant geode…and …nvm. Lol. Will do, and gracias.**

**Nobodyparticular: thanks, my Tennessee friend, thanks. **

**Meyarose: well….if you insist…**

**Marikaemmie: Who doesn't? lol…specially the star wars kind…call me a dork. Awww… that's sad. Ill make you some easy mac on my easy bake oven that MY mental hospital lets me have. And send it to you with a giant "thank you" card.**

**Laurenbttwilightfan: haha…k. lol. Bella didn't turn into a vampire cuz edward's venom never got into her blood stream. He didn't really bite her, he just sucked it out of her…like you do a straw or something. And thanks! :D**

**Blissfulsin18: awwwww( blushes like mad). Thanks. I love it when people talk about that…yay. Times infinity and three.**

**Bellaxedward4everz: sorry… (looks away sheepishly) sorry… Im trying! Lol. Thanks anyways though.**

**Twilighter4ever: Muchos gracias. I was wondering if you were going to come back and realize that there was another chapter… haha.**

**Iminlovewithjasper: me too…talking bout your penname. That's cool. Ill pm some of it to you or something. Whenever I do…ive actually started writing on one now. O, I mean, I am stephenie meyer! Bow before me…lol. And thanks**

**Eliane: Onto the review, thanks. Haha…I took your advice though, and chilled by the pool with some friends for the last few days. But now im back from my minivacation. Lol. THANK YOU!**

**Smileforlife: I mistaked you for hypernessisavirtue there for a second. Gheh…deja vue…but okee dokee…**

**Broken: Thanks…HAHAHAHA…that story was awesome. Probably the best one ive heard all day! Loved it. And you. Cya lata, thanks! **

**XD: yeah yeah…excuses excuses JK. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they just come on a whim while im writing or doing some other random activity, and I go…hmmmm…that'd be cool. But I know what you mean by the movie thing. Haha. I think I figured out what writiers are…Certifiable loons. Yep, that's right. O well…thanks.**

**Sandalswithsox: glad you thought so. And right, bella isn't a vamp now. And thanks.**

**Clumsy: Yeah, ill go into much further detail. It aint over till the fat lady sings! **

**Allyq1990: lol. It was…and delicious. And cool. I just got this picture of boiling water in my head. Glad it stuck. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Thanks a bundle. Especially for my kudos…I put them in a vase.**

**twilightxlover: there's another chapter you know…another one!! Lol. **

**Ellen dean: No joke. Bella needs to wake up and smell the roses sometimes. But anyway, thanks for the review (s). You're the best, babe.**

**Hibiscusqt: ding ding ding…reviewer of the year award. Haha. And… I love caps lock. Feel free to caps lock your dang heart out. Awwww…of course I don't hate you. You just gave me the review of my life. I LOVE YOU! IN ALL CAPS! YEAH! I WENT THERE! Lol. Thanks!**

**enderACullen: Short, sweet, and to the point. I like you. Lol. Thank you.**

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen: Yes, I do recall…no throwing sharp objects this time Chelsea! Jeeze louise. That poor man is still shaking in his boots! Haha. Plenty of time for that not so happy ending, as you called it…MWUHAHAHA! Don't drive, ice cream drunk girl…you know, friends don't let friends drive drunk. Thanks as always. Ly. P.S. Do you put LEMONS in your tea??**

**Tatiana: lol. Thanks. Awww. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now. And I like your name a lot. Tons better than mine. (it's boring. Ill say that much) Nah, I got the name-control…what you said thing from faery lore. I took a few mythology classes. There was some Irish stuff about fairies and it kindof stuck with me. But anywho, thanks!**

Chapter 30

Edward threw me onto his back, and then, before I had made sense of the change in elevation, he had jumped out the hole the two vampires had busted through the window, and onto the ground.

He gave a grunt and crumpled to his knees in the grass.

"Edward?" I asked. "Are you okay?" I never thought I'd have to ask that.

"Exceptional," he said, but his voice sounded edgy.

Whatever happened, he was up in a flash, running. The remaining dizziness I felt from having the blood drained from me made the dizziness from being transported at superhuman speed all the worse. So, I buried my face in Edward's shoulder.

Every so often, his pace would slow. I could tell by the change in wind velocity. It happened more and more the farther he went though. Sometimes, when I looked over, I could even make out individual silhouettes of trees, instead of just the blurred rush of a green and brown forest squeezed together.

I felt something under my chest, a husky sounding sort of motion. It took me a minute to realize that it was Edward's breathing. It had become hard, forced, like he was actually exerting effort to run like this. _Exceptional_ my right foot…

"You're hurting yourself," I told him. "You didn't get enough."

"I'm…just…fine," he said breathily.

"You need more."

"I will _never_ do that again, Bella! Not for anything. Not even for my own health. Is that understood?" The burst of energy that had allowed those phrases to sound remotely intimidating was quickly used up though, for after he said them, he began gasping again.

I didn't say anything. I disagreed of course, but I just didn't want any more of his energy used on quarreling with me. Apparently, he needed every ounce just to keep on sprinting.

All of a sudden, we broke through the dark forest into a clearing. It wasn't Edward's and mine. It was different, larger and less peaceful, but maybe my mind had just attached that label to it because of what happened there. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that in our clearing, there wasn't a battle being waged.

I heard Edward swearing under his breath, too quick for my human ears to catch. For whatever unintentional reason, he'd taken us right into the thick of things, smack dab in the middle of the war.

The war itself looked…wrong. It was as if heaven's legions had flown down to earth to rail at one another – a civil war between angels.

Everyone was stunning, but I recognized the fairies right away. They were taller than the vampires, the shortest of their kind towering over even the tallest of Edward's. Something about them though was otherworldly. In spite of myself, I felt drawn to their slender forms. Each and every one had long, flowing hair, and their clothes looked like they were spun of some element not yet discovered by humans. Their clothes shimmered, just as the vampires shimmered when the Sun broke through the white clouds.

The fairies' eyes were the most enticing. One looked at me, an abnormally tall one, with ink black hair down to its middle back. I couldn't really tell genders with these beings.

When it looked it me, it peered through bottomless eyes, of every color, like a rainbow had been captured there. It was almost like watching the sun refract on an oil slick, sending all the hues in the visible spectrum running and flowing together. I wanted down off of Edward's back. I wanted to run to that fairy and gaze into its eyes forever.

I started to unhook my arms from around Edward's neck, but the fairy looked away, and I became sane again.

"Why are we here?" I whispered.

He didn't answer.

"Your powers aren't working right, are they?"

Again, he didn't respond.

I glanced over to the vampire side. I could make out a few. Jasper was fighting a rather voluptuous blonde fairy away from the others. He was in between it and the rest of the enemy's army, trying to keep it separated from the rest.

When the blonde one moved, it was like a willow tree's hanging branches rippling in the wind. Jasper wasn't moving as fast as he used to, like he was in a trance.

Esme was battling a fairy with auburn locks and skin as white as paper, dodging out of the way of things that I couldn't see. That must be the invisible weapon Alice had told me about. Maybe Esme could feel the vibrations in the air.

Emmett was lost to my eyes at least. Maybe he was back at the house, keeping the faction of vampires that had come to hunt me down at bay.

"Their names, Edward! Say their names, and you can control them," I shouted.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can! Read their minds!"

"No, Bella," he snapped angrily, "I mean I can't. I can't…hear them anymore…it's quiet." Well, that wasn't exactly true. There were many sounds, booms when vampires slammed up against fairies, cracks whenever someone was too slow, and shouts of commands from both sides.

"I don't…" Edward started. He sounded so frustrated, entirely trounced.

I sighed, than murmured quietly, "You need more."

He roared. I clung to him nonetheless. "No! That's final."

"It's our funeral…" I muttered.

A few vampires were starting to look my way now, with longing eyes. My blood was distracting them. The fairy with the dark hair looked towards me and held up a hand. Edward ducked off to the side, but I still felt something hot brush past my shoulder, missing it by only a hairsbreadth. I shuddered. If it could singe vampire skin, what could it do to a mortal?

Before I could even breathe, in between heartbeats, Edward had taken off again, like a rocket at first, but slower as we covered more ground, until he was traveling at a fairly human pace. An Olympic gold medal winning human pace, but human all the same.

Eventually, we stopped entirely, and Edward stooped over breathing hard and fast.

"Alice," he whispered. "Where are you?"

"Edward, I'm going to force feed you my blood in a minute if you don't drink it willingly! I bet even I can take you right now."

"I refuse to do that again, Bella, for the thousandth time." His voice was calmer now, probably due to the fact that his power was drained for some odd reason.

"Then let me down," I yelled.

He did so, releasing the grip he had under my knees. I fell to the forest floor, and landed with an "oomph" on my rear.

"Ouch," I complained.

"You wanted down," he said.

"Good grief. Why don't you go sulk some more," I told him. Clearly, we had both reached the ends of our ropes.

He turned in a spurt of vampire vigor, standing in front of me, the front of his sneakers connected to my sandals. "I can't protect you anymore. Don't you get that?" he yelled.

I was on my feet in a flash, staring at the onyx fire in his eyes with some of my own. "No, I don't. You know why? Because you _could_ if you just took a few more sips of my blood." I started unwrapping the piece of fabric around my arm.

Fiercely, he grabbed my hand and pulled it to his chest. "Why do you do these things Bella?"

"Edward…" I started, feeling a flutter under my fingertips.

"I mean, _really_ Bella, why do you have to go and…"

"Edward!" I shouted.

"What?"

"Your heart," I said breathlessly. "Your heart's beating."

Puzzlement showed in his eyes, but he spread out his fingertips over my palm and pressed our hands against his chest.

"How…" he started in wonderment. "Why…is…I do feel different."

Then, in front of my eyes, his face began to change. Lines etched themselves into the corners of his eyes, his lips, his forehead. His hair, full, thick, and bronzy just a moment ago, transformed. It thinned as I watched, and soon I could see gray streaked through it. Emerald specks dotted the inky blackness of his eyes. Whatever the fairies had done, it must have reversed the vampire path his genes were set to follow.

"Edward," I gasped. "You're aging."

I heard a rustle in the bushes to my right. Alice stepped out.

"Ed…" she started, voice mortified, so different from her usual bubbliness. "You're going to die if you don't drink more of Bella's blood. You've got to."

I finished removing the bandage from my arm. Edward's lips were thinning now, and he became shorter. He still looked like Edward though…for now.

I held my arm up to him. "I can't live without you. Live for me." I used his own words against him.

He looked up at me through sad, sunken eyes, before grabbing my arm and drinking. I looked away this time and tried to give him some privacy. Alice had a hand on my shoulder and another stroking Edward's hair.

When I got dizzy, Alice's arm kept me from falling. I only looked back at Edward after he had pulled away. He looked how I remembered him now, seventeen instead of fifty.

He wouldn't meet my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I said. "By the way, you make a sexy old man."

"Ew," said Alice.

Edward laughed, though, and that was what mattered. "Thank you…I suppose."

"I really am sorry about this, Edward," Alice said suddenly.

"It's not your fault."

"No…not that. What I'm about to do…" she said sheepishly. "If you really like being an old human all that much, you can command the fairies to hit you again," was the last thing she said before she pounced on him, knocking him to the ground, and sinking her teeth into his shoulder. "But right now we need you, or we'll lose."

"Alice!" I exclaimed. "You bit him!"

"Don't worry. I've seen it. It'll only take him about thirty minutes to change…since he's already done it once." She stood back up.

On the ground, in a small bunch of leaves, Edward began to writhe and howl in agony. I knelt beside him and stroked his hair.

"It'll be okay," I said.

"God, Alice…" he said through his pain, "when I get up…" here, he wailed again. "I'm going to kill you!"

"I'll help," I muttered. It was pure agony for me to watch him struggle like this.

His hands gripped the ground. "Burning!" he shouted.

"I know," I whispered, laying my head on his chest, letting the tears spill over.

Alice came to sit beside him, murmuring "I'm sorry" in regular intervals.

I listened to his heart thrash inside his chest, knowing that this was probably the only time I'd get to hear it. I listened as it dimmed to a low pitched thump, and then to a flutter, like a butterfly taking flight, and then at last, as its pumps came to a screeching halt. Its termination was accompanied by one of Edward's shrieks. I cringed.

Finally though, he stopped moving, lying still on the leaves. He wasn't even breathing.

"Is it over?" I asked Alice.

She nodded. I looked to my husband's face. His mouth was still contorted, and his eyes were shut tight, but he looked like the Edward I had come to know and love these past years. My soul mate was back.

Eventually, he opened his eyes. They were redder than usual, but still not that deep burgundy color of non-vegetarian vampires.

"Do you feel like a newborn?" asked Alice. "Do you remember anything? Want Bella anymore than usual?"

"Of course I want Bella," he replied, "but no, not any more than normal. And yes," he looked at me and smirked. "I remember everything very clearly. You," he looked at Alice, "are the most insane, crazy clairvoyant I know, and you," he glanced my way, "are my wife who seems to have an incredibly difficult time keeping her clothes on in my presence and trips over thin air. Is that correct?"

I blushed at what he said.

"Ah yes," he said, "she blushes a lot, too."

"Maybe you should've forgotten," I said, getting up. Edward was on his feet before me though, and had me slung on his back before I could say 'show off'.

**A/N: Okay, so Edward may be a vampire, but he's still a guy. And guys tend to get cranky when, all of a sudden, they're knocked off of their high horse, so that's why Edward was kind of a butt for a while. So, Bella and Edward just can't get a moment's peace can they? Well, that's what they get for being so slow. And also, I don't think anyone ever considered that if Edward got turned back into a human, he would be around 100 years old… original plan was to turn him human, and then I thought to myself "What the hell kind of plot is that, Lily? You can do much better." Believe me folks, there's still plenty of time for a not-so-cliché, not-so-fairy tale ending (thanks thefuturuemrsedwardcullen). I just wanted to show what I think would happen, and give them some time for a little more time together, explore the more angry sides of their relationship, and add some more of their classic bantering. I missed it terribly. I mean, SOMETHING had to happened when he got hit with fairy energy, right?! Read and review, please. **


	36. Chapter ThirtyOne ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer:** Nope. That is all.

THANKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Sorry for the absence...vacation.

**Hypergiggles: awwww, thanks, top 5? Wow! Oh, the flattery! Lol. You could print it out, put it in a fancy smancy binder (you know, the three ring ones at walmart with Jack Sparrow on them) and call it a book if you like. Oh, and, notta problem. I hope she gets her computer fixed so I can see the next chapter.**

**Jennifer: Chapter 30 the end? Chapter 30 the endddd?! BLASPHEMY I TELL YOU! BLASHPEMY! ATROCITY! HYPOCRISY! AN ABOMINATION! A LOATHATION! SHEER MADNESS (like me right now). But, erm, if your still reading, thanks.**

**Dlmadlang: I know what you mean. I read lines over and over, especially the more beautiful ones. Gosh, I love those authors who take something ordinary or kind of plain, and put it in a beautiful light...anyway, Im just rambling now. Sorry bout the SAT scores... / I wont be able to sleep at all tonight for the guilt. Nice adjective, captivating...I have a thing for them. :D**

**Thegirlfromamestris1912: I was lost in the remotest remote section of the rain forest for ten days and ten nights, searching for the rare brazilian polka dotted tiger! Our helicopter crashed into a flying oranguatan, and went careening out of the sky. I, tragically, was the only survivor. I survived on just Pringle crumbs and polluted water for a week, nearly getting trampled by polar bears, eaten alive by mutant, giant pirana, and stubbing my toe on a rather frightening looking tree. You can read about it in newsweek...**

**Minimeyer: YAY!! You're blue and underlined now! **

**Transfiguration: Thanks! Seriously funny: that's an oxymoron. I love it.**

**Supernaturalgirl: Ah, well, then I think you'll enjoy this chapter. And thanks.**

**Jasmine: Aw, you think Im wonderful... (blush to end all blushes) **

**Monkey: Quite alright my darling, I was lost in a rainforest, you can read about it in thegirlfromamestris1912's shoutout. (but really it was the beach), so I delayed a bunch.**

**Twilight-babes: thanks. :D**

**Kerssica: No joke. Carlisle's really slacking this time on his Dr. Awesomeness. Wonder if his insurance will cover it? Hmmm... I was actually thinking of sean connery when bella said "sexy old man"...or harrison ford. WHY am I attracted to older men? Why can't I help it? Ggrrrrrr, ah well, better than being attracted to way older women I always say! Lol. Death threats are useless. Im trying out this new thing. It's called being invincible!! So bring on your rocketlaunchers, bring on your Transformer (TM) slicemdicem accessories, bring on the pocketknives! They cant hurt me. MWUHAHAHA. My end is nigh...NEVER! P.S. I love you...no not you!! I was talking about the movie! You should rent it. It has sexy, old gerard butler in it. ;) and my brain wants to ask you something. Here it is... "Will you, Kerssica, marry me?" No, I didn't have anything to do with it.**

**Tatiana: Thanks. Hi yourself.**

**EllenDean: Stories without thrills are just not appealing to me. (sigh) I do believe I miss out on things because of that. BUTTTTT, thank you. Im glad you liked my description seeing as I just made it up, and its not a typical fairy one. Lol...old fart. Edward, you're an old fart. What if someone told him that? HAHAHA!! Could you imagine his expression? And there I go, getting carried away again. Thanks... Im still revelling in the applause...Im on round 2, 568.**

**IsabellaDreamer: Okay, and thanks.**

_**ALRIGHT, NO TIME TO FINISH THE REVIEWER SHOUTOUTS. ILL PUT UP A SEPERATE SECTION TOMOROW AROUND 4 TO FINISH THEM STARTING WITH EDWARDXD, BUT I REALLY WANT TO POST THIS CHAPTER AND ITS LATE, AND I HAD 43 REVIEWS, SO... YEAH. THANKS FOR NOW! YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU. BUT HEY, GIRL'S GOTTA SLEEP.**_

_NOTE: Findabhair is pronounced Fin-a-veer. Súmaire means vampire in Gaelic. _

Chapter 31

"And just what do you think you are doing?" rang out Alice 's clear voice. She was dodging trees beside us, running.

"Protecting my wife," spat his blunt reply.

I wanted to simultaneously both start and thrill to that last word, the one that I had been taught equated to prisons, and Hell, and all sorts of other negative places. Why then, I wondered, did I feel as if being married to Edward gave me wings? Why did his mere presence beside me fly me up to the heavens? Certainly I was soaring now, up with the birds and the stars, now just starting to peep through the hazy purple clouds, and with the silver crescent moon. Our lives were at stake, yes. I knew that very well, but it just didn't matter as long as I was _with_ him. He was my own personal shield against fear itself.

"Didn't you hear me?" Alice asked, astonishment in her voice, and was that…disappointment also? "We need you!"

Edward never stopped running, but I could feel the corded muscles of his back tense, pulling in like an accordion. He was angry. "Bella." He said the word like it explained away everything.

"Family," Alice insisted.

I didn't need to ask what was happening. I could deduce from Edward's overprotective nature, Alice 's insistence, and the knowledge that reading minds was a perfectly good way to determine names, that Edward was leaving his family, our family, behind to fend for themselves to get me to safety.

"Stop it!" I commanded, angry now. I was sick of this. Sick of me standing in happiness' way for the people I loved. "Right now. I'm serious Edward. Turn around."

"Or what?" he challenged.

He had a point there…or did he? I saved _his_ life after all.

"Or I'll divorce you…" I tried. My voice couldn't summon up enough conviction to pull it off successfully though.

"No," he said simply, "you wouldn't."

"It wasn't a yes or no question, Edward," I told him.

"It's _out_ of the question, Bella."

I sighed, not because he'd defeated me, but because he was undefeatable, with me as his opponent anyway.

"They're my family, too," I said quietly, trying a different tone, a pleading one.

His steps slowed, barely, but still, they did.

I continued with this tactic. "They're your family. Our family."

Trees whipped by less frequently as his pace weakened. I continued, "If something were to happen to them…" I trailed off, unable to finish because of the emotion that statement drove into me like a stake. "It would kill me," I finished quietly. That was the brick wall that stopped him dead in his tracks. Any thought of my pain repulsed him, he hadn't been lying about that one.

He turned toward Alice. "But Bella..." he said.

She shook her head. "You can see for yourself that nothing's going to happen to her."

"Things change."

"You're going to control them, Edward. They'll do whatever you want them to."

I could see by the way his ruby-tinged eyes darted from side to side that he was racking his brain for excuses. "But the vampires..." he settled on. "I can't control them."

Alice tapped two fingers on the top of her head. "Why won't you believe what you can see? It's right there, all spelled out in black and white. As soon as you control the fairies, the vampires are out of there. Stop being stubborn! It's irritating, and we don't have time to move Bella somewhere else." It sounded like she was holding something back.

His eyes narrowed, and they peered at Alice intently for a second. "Jasper," he answered her. "I see."

If my new sister's eyes could have welled up with tears, they would have. "Please, Edward. Please!" It killed me to hear her voice break, to hear her beg for _her_ husband's life.

"Please," I added.

Edward huffed, then turned his unusual orbs upon me. Written there, was regret and sorrow I hoped he'd never have to feel. But before I could reply, he'd turned around and started running in the opposite direction, toward the battle.

"Thank you," Alice chirped, seriousness vanished, tone back to her day-to-day pep.

Edward didn't bother replying.

"Whenever this is over," he said to me, low and dark, "we're putting you in full body armor until you're changed."

I shrugged. "Nearly getting killed: just an average day in the life of Bella Cullen."

I knew he was grinning without having to look at him.

"Bella Cullen...that's a nice name."

"I rather like it myself," I said. "It's catchy."

Deep bells pealed through the forest when Edward laughed. I glanced sideways to see Alice. She was the only other object beside Edward that wasn't blurred. Her eyes were rolling, but she smiled all the same.

The Sun was disappearing, the clock's hand ticking dusk away slowly. Everything was plum and dark green mush from my perspective. I clung to him, and smelled his sweet scent, just breathing him in. My hands clutched to the shirt on his chest, and my thighs tightened around his waist. Eyes shut tight, picturing us in a different scenario, running towards a different destination, I'd never wanted him more. Something in my stomach leapt up, writhed, and was unsettled, demanding...

I felt it whenever he ran, felt his streamlined muscles contract through the smooth, granite skin, the bones of his shoulder blades moving in and out like wings. Before that moment, I'd never stopped to really feel the contours of his strong form. Now, I couldn't get enough of them. I pressed my stomach closer to his back and borrowed my face into his shoulder.

"Bella..." he started, "I don't mean to be rude but...you're making this exceedingly difficult for me. In a very, very good way, but still... If you don't...stop," the words came out awkward, "I don't think I'll...make it much farther."

Immediately, blood rushed to my cheeks in a flush to beat all flushes, and I released my death grip on him, holding him as I normally would. My gaze flashed to Alice. She was smirking, obviously trying to do a shabby job of containing her laughter. I was sure my face was a nice crimson by now.

"Excuse you," I told her, "but I never really got my wedding night, so..." I couldn't finish that statement with any threat that would remotely hurt her. As a replacement, I huffed and turned around.

She let one giggle escape. "I don't really blame you I guess. Abstinence...I mean _absence _makes the heart grow fonder." She giggled again.

In that moment, I could have punched her square in the face.

Edward fidgeted uncomfortably beneath me.

Then, he said something most unexpected. "You'll get your wedding night, I promise," he murmured. That something in my stomach flailed longingly. "And Alice, if you laugh, I will personally cut every credit card you own into microscopic pieces."

Ah, he'd found an applicable, successful threat. Apparently, the future told her that he was serious, for not even a snicker escaped her lips.

Soon, we came to a skidding halt at the battleground. The fairies, I noted with dismay, had forced the vampires into the woods. In front of Edward's feet, an arm, detached from an unlucky vampire's shoulder, crawled across, using its splayed fingers as rows.

Edward gracefully stepped over it and closer to the action. I was terrified to notice that the fairies were together, reformed into a solid group. The number of limbs, torsos, and decapitated heads scattered across the ground was frightening, too, not to mention appalling. Bile rose in my throat. I could tell the fairies' limbs and the vampires' apart though.

Vampires were solid, no blood stains, and most were still moving. The fairies' parts, however, were oozing some sort of pearly blue liquid, spreading out over the grass in sky-colored puddles that were vaguely reflective in the dying light.

The heads, though, those were the worst. So like humans, and so angelically beautiful. With their closed eyes, and no sunbeams to make the skin sparkle, they could've been people who I passed in the streets. Correction: super models I passed in the streets, but normal human beings all the same.

My heart broke a little for these perfect strangers lying dead and scattered across the field. Edward kept walking though, and I forced by vision to the still living part of the war.

"Get down," he commanded quietly.

Obediently, my legs and arms unwrapped themselves, and my feet landed on the ground. Edward put one arm around me and pulled me against his side. The other hand, I could see, was clenched into a fist, ready to fight at a moment's notice.

"Findabhair!" Edward's powerful voice bellowed. "Stop the attack."

As if by some spell he had cast upon them, the fairies stopped moving and advancing. They were caught in that moment, by some invisible net, and stood perfectly still. The only exception was their cascading hair, swaying in the wind like leaves would. Again, I was captivated. The only thing that kept me from running toward them was Edward's tight grip.

"Come here, Findabhair," Edward said. "Now."

The tallest of them stepped back and turned. It's glossy hair, straight and black as pitch, wrapped around its face like a whiptail. Its chest was bare and faintly glowing, the paper skin nearly transparent. Black markings covered it in places, a sword driven into a star as the centerpiece, and words I couldn't begin to pronounce down its arms. The trousers it wore were made of the same silver, shimmering material the other fairies had on, and its feet, just like the rest I now realized, were unshod. Fury was blazing hot in its oily orbs. Its jaw was clenched, and the sides of its face were pulled back like the ears of an angry animal. It walked towards us, leaning back in reluctance to do so. It strode with a gate more like floating though. Its head didn't bob up and down. Instead, it stayed at one level.

It stopped a few feet from us, and despite myself, I cowered into Edward's chest. Rage exuded from its every pore, a wrath too immense to be contained by human emotions.

"What?" he blurt out. The tone clearly showed that it was a "he". That one word, though spat, had a lilt to it and sounded like a melody in itself. These fairies really were beautiful in every way. It was my experience though, that the most beautiful creatures were also often the most evil.

"You have to take an oath," Edward replied coolly.

Never removing its endless orbs from Edward's, the fairy sunk down to his knees in the grass. Even so, he was as tall as I was.

"Unseely promises won't do you much benefit, súmaire, as they are rarely kept," Findabhair gritted out.

I could barely grasp the meaning of the phrase through the haze that fell over me at its sonorous enchantment.

"You'll keep this one," Edward demanded. "Won't you, Findabhair?"

The fairy's face contorted at the utterance of his name. "Yes," he sang tersely. "Name it."

Edward mused a second, before holding out his and to the fairy palm forward. Shakily, clear effort put into it not to do so, Findabhair's hand rose to touch Edward's.

"Findabhair," Edward started, "You will take your army and leave." A jolt shot through Findabhair at that command. Edward continued, "You will not attack or kill another human, vampire, or... werewolf again." As the fairy quaked yet again, I looked at Edward, surprised at how he had included "werewolf" in that statement. I was sure it was for my sake. "Unless... bidden to by Carlisle Cullen, and _only_ Carlisle Cullen. Do you swear?" That made sense. Vampires looking for an ally now knew the name and could control the fairy. Carlisle would never be even remotely tempted by that power.

Findabhair trembled violently.

Edward tried a different tactic. "Swear to it, Findabhair!"

"I swear to it. _Geallaim_!" The voice shook, the melody staccato now.

"Good," Edward said sharply.

The fairy rose to his feet. "Is that truly all you wish for? Truly what you most deeply desire?" A grin twisted his red lips, and Edward froze, hypnotized. "You can easily posses it with me under your control, King of the Unseely. You can have anything you want." The colors in his eyes swirled together in the blackness.

Edward didn't answer. That was worrisome. Then again, even I didn't want to speak, didn't want to interrupt this glorious harmony.

"Or you?" He turned to look down at me. "What is it you want, my dear?"

A thousand different things flashed through my head: not to be clumsy, Jacob to be my best friend again, eternity with Edward, to name a few.

"I want..." I started.

Edward cut me off. "Don't play your tricks with her," he snarled.

The fairy turned its disappointed gaze back to my husband of three days. "As you wish. I'll leave _here_, but you can't bar me from the rest of the world. I'll dance and work my wicked ways to and fro' upon the earth. Death isn't my delight anyway. I much prefer my victims alive." He said this so casually, with a shake of his head. "Anyway, probability binds us to see one another again. Till next time." Then, Findabhair tipped a nonexistent hat, bowed low, and disappeared into a shimmering powder along with the rest of his army.

Vaguely, I wondered if I could fly were I to step through it and think happy thoughts.

All was still and silent now. The vampires didn't even cheer in victory. They stayed stony.

"It's over," Carlisle called, coming to stand beside Alice, Edward, and I. "You may leave now."

Some left, leaving so fast that the only indicators of their exit were holes left in the ranks. Most, unfortunately, remained.

I recognized some unwelcome ones then: the Volturi. They were standing in the middle, near the front, in a large cluster. The others had left them a wide berth.

Then, with horror, I watched them approach me. Out of nowhere, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and Esme came to stand beside me.

The seven of them stopped when they'd gotten close enough for me to hear them, but it was too close for comfort. Sharing a planet with them was too close for comfort to me.

"Bella," Aro's eerie voice called out to me. "Still human I see... and still so utterly fascinating."

I gulped. 'Hello' wasn't exactly a fitting greeting.

Alec spoke next. "Still so gloomy, Cullens? Maybe your lack of a proper diet for the past century has something to do with it. You should consider converting." He grinned and flashed his white teeth, still looking exactly the same as I remembered him. Same burgundy eyes, same spotless suit, same short, dark hair, the same murderer of the innocent...

I flinched.

"Carlisle!" Caius spoke. "We haven't had a chat in a good long while. Maybe we should...you know..." the same sickening smirk contorted his expression, "reminisce about the olden days."

"I'm fine, thank you Caius." Carlisle politely declined.

"Tsk, tsk," Caius scolded, white hair prominent even in this dim light. "You never were much fun. Was he, Jane?" He looked over at the one who could've passed for a child, and yet, the most intimidating.

"No," she said in her juvenile voice, before grinning and looking to Aro.

"Now, now, Jane, I don't believe that will be necessary," he said, tone still light and airy. I sighed in relief that Jane wouldn't be using her gift just yet. "I am curious," Aro continued, "as to why your little pet is still mortal."

"Things came up," Edward tersely replied.

Aro rose an eyebrow. "And have they come down again?"

Alice chirped in before Edward could say something he might regret. "You saw it, Aro. You know that she is going to be changed."

He chuckled. "So I did, but you see, I'd assumed she'd have done that sometime in the two years it's been since I last saw her. To be frank, I was looking forward to it. But now that she's not," he said the next words slowly, "I'm...disappointed."

"You'll get over it," Emmett ground out.

"Emmett!" Rosalie gasped.

I winced at the Volturi's angry reactions, but they never came. Aro chuckled instead.

"My, my, everything is so serious with the lot of you, isn't it?" he said, "I'll tell you what. Since I failed to specify a time limit last time, I'll provide one now. You have three weeks to change her." He shrugged and winked at me. "My patience is wearing thin, and what suspense!"

"No!" Edward gasped. "Please...a little longer."

Marcus looked surprised and spoke for the first time. "_I_ could do it right now then. I warn you though, I'm starving," he lolled the last word, making it linger in the air.

"Edward, don't," Alice warned.

He stepped forward anyway. "Please," he pleaded, "What's a year to you? Just one year?"

Marcus stepped forward. "Was that a yes to my request then? Well, if you insist." He took a few more steps in my direction, and Edward stepped in front of me, arms spread out.

"One year!" Edward exclaimed. "That's all I'm begging you for!" His voice grew panicky.

Marcus strode forward faster, a smile on his lips. "You really are impatient, aren't you?"

"Three weeks, then!" Edward blurted out, but only when the approaching Volturi member was nearly upon us. "Three weeks is fine."

So I had a deadline now. I shuddered..._dead_line was the wrong way to word it.

Marcus frowned, and said, "Caius is right. You really are no fun," before turning on his heels and lithely walking back to join the rest of his coven.

"In three weeks, then?" Aro asked cheerily, like it was the date of a pool party.

No one said anything.

"Three weeks?" Aro asked again, and again, he was met with silence. "Edward?"

Edward had his head bowed. I could see that from my position behind him. "Three weeks," he brokenly agreed.

"How long?" Caius asked.

"Three weeks!" Edward growled.

"One more time, just so we're clear..." Caius continued. He was enjoying Edward's agony.

This time, Edward roared his answer so that it rang through the clearing. "You heard me!"

Aro turned around, and began to leave, calling back over his shoulder. "That's enough, Caius. The Cullens seem to be a bit edgy today."

Six of them pivoted and began to move through the remaining vampire army. The vampires hastily stepped out of their way to clear a path. Jane, however, didn't go with the rest of them.

She stood glaring daggers at me, most likely still trying to use her power on me to no avail.

"Jane, dear!" Aro called. She turned and joined the rest. "All of you," Aro addressed the crowd, "leave."

My lungs refused to breathe again until each and every vampire was safely out of sight. _Three weeks, three weeks, three weeks_...three weeks to have a heartbeat, three weeks to sleep, three weeks to eat fast food, three weeks with Charlie...

The crisis hadn't been averted after all. Edward turned then and crushed me to his strong chest. Three weeks to be warm and soft...

"I'm so, so..."

"Don't say it," I said. "Don't apologize."

I wrapped my arms around him and pressed myself against him. Just then, a wave of exhaustion hit me, probably from all the blood loss. I'd been running on all the adrenaline till then, and I wasn't quite sure how I'd stayed conscious for the last hour. I went limp against him when my knees buckled.

"What's wrong?" he asked frantically.

When I didn't respond, he figured it out. "Carlisle!" he called.

"I'm great," I said, pushing off his shoulders to stand back up. "Really, just tired."

"Hey, Bella," I heard Emmett call my name. "Can you give me a hand?"

I turned to see my bulky brother, and nearly puked. The arm that had been crawling across the ground...I knew I recognized it. It was the one Emmett was clearly missing.

He was grinning from ear to ear and waving his lost limb around in front of him like a picket sign.

"Catch her," Alice called.

I didn't understand her words, that is, I didn't understand them until I collapsed and my world went black.


	37. Just an Author's Note and ShoutOuts

Just an Author's Note and a Shout Out Continuation

_**Just an Author's Note and a Shout Out Continuation**_

_AN: Did anyone read the preface to breaking dawn. I did. In the smack dab middle of Wal-Mart. No way in hell am I buying it again. Anywho, I noticed this odd coincidence…that the preface to breaking dawn could actually be the preface to my own fanfic…and I began to worry. What if SM isn't as forgiving as me? Or maybe that's not what she's talking about at all…but still, kindly give me your thoughts and opinions. Sorry if I kept anyone waiting. It's summer and my schedule is volatile. And by the way, this story isn't over till the fat lady sings. Take what meaning from that you may. Perfectly happy endings aren't really my style. Read till the world stops spinning. I refuse, however, to disappoint. So, stay tuned. Oh, and I have this crazy dream, but feasible I think, with the 735 on average hits I get per chapter, of 1000 reviews. Kindly make it come true. _

**edwardXD: aw shucks…well, good news! Now there is! Haha. Thanks.**

**Melody Cullen: I throw shocks like a taser, my dear. And as for Edward as a sexy old man…think…Harrison Ford. MMMM…dreamy. Sick and wrong, my mind screams. But the heart wants what the heart wants. Haha. **

**Allyq1990: Yes…I did rush that part a bit. Thanks for the CC. Much appreciated. **

**xXSocialDistortionistXx: Been there. Done that. Lol. Sorry couldn't get to your review and all. And lied about my time limit. :( I feel terrible, really. Anywho, here comes the nice people with the shot, SD, let them do their job…**

**LiaEdwardsStalkerEmmetsFriend: are you the former poppyleafedwardsstalker who was even formerly thrushflightedwardsstalker. Im seriously stuggling to keep up. Good grief. Someone has indecisive issues. Haha. EWWwWW..gross bishop…ewwwww… wow. That's funny though. I bet he doesn't like that at all, being a holy man of God and all. The uberdy religious ones tend to hate twilight. I, myself, am Christian, but…Twilight is acceptable in my book, so… alright, Ill stop with the sermon. Thanks!**

**Tatiana: Feel free to say it whenever you want…on the bus…in the metro station…feeding breadcrumbs to ducks… Only, my ego is through the roof. LILY TURTLE IS TERRIBLE LILY TURTLE IS TERRIBLE LILY TURTLE IS TERRIBLE…there, back down to this planet. And thanks.**

**Hibiscusqt: You're review sounded like a commercial. And delightful is a, well, delightful word. :D Thanks. Alice will be Alice…and don't you just love her? I think if I were any character, Id be her. I mean, have you SEEENNNN Jackson Rathbone?!**

**xXxElianexXx: Thanks for the love. Peace out.**

**Angelfromhell: (sigh) If only I were Edward's wife…if only, if only…I wouldn't complain about everything like bella does… and probably never, EVER wear clothes…unless they were from Victoria Secret. Meh, I'm getting carried away with my fantasies again. (hits myself on the head with a quartz…because that's the first thing I saw) Anyway, EWWWW…bee, so much worse than grasshopper. Stupid stingers. YUMMMM!! Mountain lion, my fave.**

**DistinguishedAnguish: Yes, I looked for one the other day. Tragic really. I hope to have this story finito by the end of this month though, as crazy as that sounds. And my crazy, wild, yet feasible with 102 people whove faved this, is 1000 reviews. Stories with less chapters have even more than that. :( I know I shouldn't compare, but I do… And now, you know how the battle ended up…at least for now…mwuhahaha!! I have a few more tricks up my sleeve.**

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen: Anytime. I thought it was rather catchy. Aw…I know how you feel. I work Friday's too, at an optometrist's office. It's easy, and most of the time I don't do anything but read, but still… Seriously though, bella needs to gain some independence. I plan to incorporate it into this last bit… but don't worry. Or do… I'm not sure how people will take the ending I want. Question. As my beta…would you like every single conflict resolved at the end, or leave some for speculation. Ly, thanks. Lemon pie? Hmmm…once I spilled it all over the counter and had to use LEMON scented pinesaul to clean up the stain.**

**Roughdraft525: thanks. Much appreciated. I really do have a soft spot for that one part. **

**Msveronicacullen: Eh…well, happy is all about perspective. And I'm not saying this story won't…but I'm not saying it'll be seamless. The conflict between them and their enemies may be settled, but the conflict amongst themselves: that's a different story entirely.**

**MeyaRose: Ouch…that one stung a little. YOUR FACE IS WEIRD.**

**Emberwillow: why hello, number one fan. Ah…ive always wanted to type that to someone. Anywho, Nope, you hit that plot summary spot on. There's a point to it. I want to turn it into a new side of Bedward's relationship. Haha. THANKS!! Times a million zillion billion.**

**Twilighter4ever: yeah, I hope Stephenie does SOMETHING like that, but I have a feeling she won't. Anywho, thanks.**

**Smile for Life: Ouch…that was absolutely, positively the worst death threat I've ever heard. I mean, like getting your fingers cut off with a butter knife, murder by bendy straw would suck… a lot. But, anyway, I updated! Yay**

**Euphoriafalls: haha. I imaginie that you sang that somewhere in the Austrailian continent, jumping up and down in a singsong voice…a really really terrible singsong voice. Jk! I don't know what it sounds like, so…THANK YOU!**

**laurenBTTwilightFan: Well…three weeks… soon enough?**

**Shinobi shinigami: Damnit. I hate your name. Fun to say, sure, but a nightmare to spell. Excuse my French. Yeah, he's seventeen. Thanks again!**

**XD: I got that story from a folk tale actually. This guy gets stolen by the Tuatha De (long story), and in their land, he is made immortal, so he never ages, but then, he finds out his wife has died, so he goes back to earth. When he gets there, over her tombstone, time catches up with him and he dissolves to dust. Sad story, I know…I modified it. Haha. Love that line…if only he said it to me…ahhh…(comes back from fantasy land to say a brief, distant "yeah, thanks")**

**Thegirlfromamestris1912: yep…kinda makes you think about mortality and stuff. Drat… here comes the depression. Anyway, thanks for the love. Love, love, love… haha. Aww….thanks. For that last bit. Glad you think so.**

**Jalice14: the chapter I just put up, 36, I thought outshone that one actually. Atleast descriptivewise. I vow to never use fawesome again….DARN. There I go. Ah, thanks.**

**MarikaEmmie: Yummmieeeeeeeee… not to the easy bake oven surprisingly…to the legos. Taste like chicken. I told you I was in an asylum. You've been given fair warning. LOL…I would so buy those…they could have the cullen's house and everything! And Carlisle could have a light saber!!**

**Albnal33: Yes, that sounds about right. Haha. Thanks. Well, like I've said, happy is a perspective. It just won't be…"and they skipped into the sunset and lived happily ever after".**

**Iminlovewithchapter: THANKS ! OODLESANDOODLESANDOODLES…no not poodles…actually, some poodles too. **

**Ol2bob: Meh, there's a first time for everything. I think that's my favorite line too…Oh wait… "if you're a whale…" That one, at least to me, takes the cake. THANKS, my hero. **

**K: Oh Edward indeed. Gotta love him. And thanks.**

**Silly Ella: Fine. You and your stupid chuck Norris, EVEN THOUGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I CANT EVEN CONTAIN IT…fun thing to do. Type "find chuck Norris" into google, then click "Im Feeling Lucky"… STUPID LABELLING COMPANIES!! Snickers don't even laugh! Meh…Im riled now. Let's revolt. And thanks. Even though you never talk about my chapters… not that I care…just an observation. Meh, your hillarioius chatter makes up for it. Emmett…that's who can't deny grizzly gummy bears. **


	38. Chapter ThirtyTwo ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer**: Yes, I do indeed own Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. They're sitting on my shelf right now.

_**THANKS! To the infinininth power. And also, special thanks to my new beta, thefuturemrs.edwardcullen, without which I would be very ungramattical.**_

Albnal33: Thank you. I think, I have an insanely bad habit, in this story alone, instead of spacing it out through different stories, of exploring every single facet of the story I can think of that Stephenie Meyer didn't. Apparently, people like it though. I think... And yes, missing limbs are a blast.

**Iminlovewithjasper: I pmed it to you. It's very, very, very annoying in its vagueness. Thanks for the love, homeslice. Aw, thanks. That's nice to know, specially seeing as I plan to be an author one day.**

**IsabellaDreamer: Thanks... I will, oh, will. Meh, that didn't make any sense. Sry.**

**MarikaEmmie: LEGO MOUNTAIN! With rivers of chocolate and lollipop trees. Oh wait, that's Candyland. I get my onlychildhood activities confused sometimes. Thanks for the comments. Made my day like always.**

**ThrushflightEdward'sStalker: YAY!! Familiarity! I know you! I know that girl! Haha. anyway, I have lots of friends who are Catholic. That's cool. Yea, I saw the chapter. Jacob ran away!! But, the funniest part was how he bought her a missile resistant car. :D Ah, Edward Cullen. Gotta love him. Yeah, poor, poor, poor Emmett. And thanks as always.**

**That's my Pen name.: Aw, yay! Sorry I took up so much of your time though. Heaven? That's a new one, but I like it. I do rather hope the real heaven has an Edward Cullen iin it... is that so wrong?! Shakes fist at the world. Speaking of Breaking Dawn elements, it seems I have taken all of my own breaking dawn theories, and rolled them up into one giant (seriously. 36 chapters and counting) story. But thanks. I surrender to your puppy dog pout.**

**Moonifrui: I literally took a step backward when I read it. I was like "Whoa, SM, stop looking into my brain." Jk, the book is going to be a zillion times more amazing I'm sure. Sorry to trick you like that. But thanks!**

**Carden88: Of course it continues, and sorry for the tears. Here's a tissue (box). For the future, you know... THANK YOU!**

**LyssaBee01: Aw, thanks. I'm thinking about (very loosely used) "gracing" , and writing some original stuff to see how people take it. Then, I'll move on to novels. It's a 3step process I've created for myself. One that I will NEVER EVER talk about if I ever get on a talk show... I know. Big, impossible dream, right? But anyway, sorry for the rambling, and thanks.**

**MelodyCullen: Robert Downy Jr... (melts to the ground) I am now typing this as a liquidy sort of mush. It's insanely difficult, let me tell you. Am I stephenie meyer? (shifty eyes) Am I indeed?? Nah, but I'm flattered at the comparison. Emmett's a bit overthetop. But I love him for it. OMG ill be sad too. Boohoohoo. Sadly though, it is coming to a conclusion. Through in a bit more action, some "catching up" romance ;), and one final twist. Just to warn you. THANK YOU!!**

**XXxbrokenxXx: It's getting there. I've set a deadline to myself by July 5. ****:( SIGHSIGHSIGH. The preface was...annoying because of its vagueness. It hinted at something, but there weren't any names. It pretty much talked about not being able to fight against someone you love when they were trying to kill you... grrrrr!! Just be straightforward for once! But thanks for the love!**

**Lovabl3loz3r: XD! You're all blue and underlined now! How exciting! HH. YAY!! Im excited to read it. Haha. Emmett says he's insulted. He's sulking in the corner. But thanks.**

**Eliane: Thanks! Always glad to make peoples laugh. **

**Allyq190: Sorry to get your hopes up... but yeah. Three weeks of humanity left for Bella Swan. I mean, Cullen...darn. Should be Lily Cullen. And muchos gracias.**

**Smile for Life: aw...sad face. I don't like sad faces. Don't be sad. Be glad! As the commercial says.**

**Euphoria falls: Phillip says that when you sing, birds fall out of the sky dead, but I'm pretty sure he's still bitter about the you leaving incident. I, on the other hand, am sure you have an excellent singing voice, with the Aussie accent and all. Sorry bout the calluses. Might I recomend epsom salt? Or Dr. Scholls...is there a real doctor named that? Meh, who knows...newho, thanks.**

**SS (SEEEE i did it) : NOOO!! My edward will not fall! I swear, Steph will be swiftly killed if he does. (not really. Love her.) but still... harrumph... Alice in a fat lady suit... I don't think it would last long before she would burn it. ATHKN OYU (It's a riddle. Can you figure it out??) and yes, bellas ten plus nine. (another riddle. Yippee)**

**Silly Ella: Oh, I don't know, Mars? I hear the wheather's lovely this time of year. HAHA to the areoplane. Is that a plane made of apples and oreos mixed together. You know, AREO? Yep! Yes, indeed you will. In a few minutes when you read about it. You don't fail! You get an A , no wait a B...C...D...okay, you're right, it's an F. My visions screwed up today. Thanks anyway!!**

**Jalice: Dramatic! I love it! Haha. Well, here I am...saving the world from spontaneous combustion like I do. YOUR PREVIOUS REVIEW'S REPLY HAS ARRIVED! Yay...just like fedex. Lyg.**

**Kerssica: My personality quiz told me I was Diana, goddess of the hunt. : Just thought I'd tell you. And as for the big day, how about, July 1, whilst skydiving above northern peru. Sound okay? My brain demands the dark blue, but you can have the redblack...which one's the girl? You know what...don't answer that. I don't want to know. Drat. I like my invincibility. Ly, and thanks, as always.**

**MeyaRose: Sometimes your reviews seem so ambiguous... (:D)**

**Roughdraft525: Thank you very much. Yep. Three weeks and counting.**

**Dlmadlang: (long sigh of relief) I just took one security system out of my bomb shelter. Thank you. Twilight withdrawals...I think those are my true muse. I very seriously hope you would buy my books. Enjoyed a lot actually! Hot shirtless guys, clear water, wind in your hair! What's not to love? Thank you**

**Minimeyer: Nah, Emmett just doesn't know when to stop. Marcus is a jerk... I just saw him that way for some reason. She didn't go into too much depth on their characters so I improvised. Thanks for the review!**

**Emberwillow14: Yay! Howd piano lessons go? I do that occasionally, but I can't read music. I just make up random songs. I made up one for Edward's lullaby that I haven't told anyone about. Drat...now I feel embaraassed. Anywho, have fun with piano lessons, and thanks.**

**LaurenBTwilightFan: thanks, thanks, and thanks. Don't we all hope for that? Don't we all...**

**Mari alice: Wait no more!**

**Smile for Life: That's more like it!**

**Ol2bob: Yay, my hero's back. True... stupid fairies. Don't even know what to do with a good volturi member when they see one. Thanks!**

**Hibiscusqt: THANKS!! Hmmm...I don't know, but I wouldve asked for a chicken bacon ranch from subway. Yum. Maybe a lifetime supply of mountainlions?? Thanks.**

**Thegirlfromamestris1912: haha. Will do. It'll be our secret. (shifty eyes) and thank you.**

**Angelfromhell: YAY LAPTOP!! You are my resource for those things. I invited some friends to my room to watch it on my laptop. We have these things called "twilight parties" ever so often. MAN!! Edward's smoking. Although he kind of looks angry instead of desperate... Like "Jeeze woman, what did I tell you about going into ballet studios containing angry vampires alone??" haha. HEY KARLA!! Sup? Go you.**

**Silly Ella: English, so I've heard, is one of the hardest languages to learn because of that, but whoopdeedoo. Stop it Lily, noone cares. No ninjas! Not this time. They were zombies. But my dorky friend loaned me his copy of the zombie survival guide (he treats that thing like a bible), and I got through it. Yay! You better watch out though. And thanks.**

**Thefuturemrs.edwardcullen: Heya beta/chelsea/megan...you are swiftly acquiring many names. I found it! Obviously, but erm, I kept looking for a post in my email that you were done, and forgot about the inbox/outbox thing. Stupid lily. You await tonight? No, Chels, that doesn't sound suggestive in the least... ha...ha...ha. lol. Anywho, cyaround. YAY YOUR MY BETA! Alright im over it. But not really...thanks.**

**Monkey: vampiric? Vampic? Sure...you know what monkey, anything you say can be a word! And thanks. Dont let the man bring you down.**

**Pink: Thanks. Sorry for the absurd amount of time you spent... it's absurdly long.**

**Twilightpheonix123: Thanks for the love. And willdo.**

**Hypergiggles: RIGHTNOW! Haha. Glad you like my absurd attempt at stupid scrubslike humor. Lol. BRATZ. I can see that in a future interview. "So, how did this book come about??" "Well," hypergiggles replies, "it all started with my BRATZ notebook. **

**XXLadyMajaXx: Thanks thanks thanks, and thanks. :D Glad you do.**

Chapter 32

Light filtered in through the darkness, slowly, like a sunrise or sediment passing through a sieve. The dreamless night dissipated into lovely, lovely voices.

"She'll wake up in 5, 4, 3, 2…"

That was Alice.

"1," she finished. My eyes popped open. I'd comply with whatever future she saw for me. Immediately, I was taken into strong cold arms. My spinning head didn't like it much at all, but my heart wanted it.

I wrapped my arms around his torso. "You smell funny," he said.

I moved my head back to look at him with scorn. Excuse me, but we all can't be flawless vampires – not yet, anyway.

He blessed me with that lopsided smile of his. "The transfusions, I mean." Something tense and coiled inside of him was twitching muscles in his jaw and face. Like an underwater volcano, underneath the placid surface, something was troubling him.

I knew him like a book. I didn't even need to ask what it was. Regret, guilt…those were the emotions plaguing him.

I brushed my fingertips across his lips. "You're worrying again," I said quietly. Waiting would only mount the feelings. "You feel like this is your fault."

"I seem to put you in the hospital a lot," he said. He made himself sound like the abusive boyfriend. Ha! What kind of abusive boyfriend offers to buy their girlfriend an Italian sports car?

Looking around me, I noticed that I was, indeed, lying in a sterile hospital bed, donned in a filmy slip that tied in the back. They'd left my jeans on, though, for which I was thankful. The pale green walls were covered in instruments, equipment, and posters of ear infections and bone structure.

Through the heavily curtained window, I could see a grayish sort of light diffuse. It was raining…Forks would be Forks.

I opened my mouth to form a rebuttal, but Edward stopped me with a finger and the other hand running through my messy hair. "Later," he promised me.

"Hi," Alice piped in.

I laughed and turned to her. "What do your visions tell you I say to you now?"

She pretended to ponder a moment. "They say you say 'Alice, I'm going to let you give me a makeover and redo my entire wardrobe from scratch. On a limitless budget'." She was beaming.

"You need to get that checked out. There's clearly something wrong."

Alice sighed. "One day," she promised. "One day."

Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme appeared at the doorway.

"How's my favorite sister?" Emmett asked loudly. Alice thwapped him on the shoulder. He didn't even blink.

"Hi!" I exclaimed, happy to see them all alive and well.

"We're so glad you're okay," Esme said, taking my hand in hers.

"Ah, I've had worse."

She smiled sadly. Edward flinched. They both knew all about that.

I looked back to Emmett, and noticed with horror that his arm was still not attached. The fabric of one of his T-shirt's sleeves was hanging down loosely over where his arm once jutted out.

"Your arm!"

Emmett shot a glare at Edward. "Ask _him_. He hid it. Really, Ed, it's not funny anymore. When are you going to give it back?"

Edward smirked. "In a century or two."

My big teddy bear brother growled. "I swear, when I find it, I'm going to use it to hit you so hard..."

I chuckled at their banter, and made a mental note to convince Edward to give Emmett's arm back later. It was disconcerting now, talking to him.

"Boys!" Esme cut him off. "Stop."

"Bella," Carlisle began from my bedside. I'd just now noticed his presence. "There's someone here to see you. I told him I'd ask you if it was okay first."

Edward was smiling. It was forced though, I could tell, by the lines etched in the corners of his eyes, and the sugary look in his eyes.

"Who?" I asked warily.

"Jacob," Carlisle said.

"Don't feel obligated, Bella. Not one bit," Edward told me.

"I probably should…" I started.

Edward sat up and crossed his arms. "That's not how this works. It's all about what _you_ want, and if that's not what you want, I won't let it happen."

I took a deep breath, and struggled getting the words out. "I want to. Let him come in."

Edward looked mildy annoyed, but suddenly, the door was flung open, and Jacob ran in. He must have overheard. He came skidding to a stop at my side. Everyone but Edward left, exchanging meaningful glances between one another along the way.

Jacob looked down at Edward and cleared his throat. "A minute alone if you don't mind."

I answered for my husband. "Whatever you say in front of me, you can say in front of Edward," I said casually, trying to make it sound like a simple fact instead of an insult.

Edward looked over at me with some sort of victory written on his face. Jacob looked taken aback, but swiftly recovered.

Much to my surprise, Edward rose, kissed me on the forehead, and whispered something in Jacob's ear too quiet for me to hear. He walked out the door with a fleeting backwards glance.

Jacob was smirking at whatever Edward had told him. "Still has jealousy issues, doesn't he?"

I shrugged, not wanting to tell Jake that there was nothing to be jealous of. I'd set out to cut my ties with Jacob, for Edward, and by God that's what I'd do.

Jake laughed mirthlessly. "He doesn't want me to hurt you. So, you haven't told him that you landed me in prison yet, have you?"

I shook my head. "There wasn't really much time."

Jacob pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and tossing it on my lap. I gave him a skeptical look before unfolding it and using my palm to flatten out where the many creases were embedded.

On the front, was a large picture of Jacob, a mug shot. It was written in Spanish, but I didn't need a translator to tell me that it was a wanted sign.

"You, somehow, have single handedly exiled me from an entire country. Congrats."

"I'm not proud of it, Jake. I just didn't want you coming after me," I tried to explain. I hadn't worked up a speech for this confrontation, hadn't had time to practice in front of a mirror.

He shrugged. "Prison wasn't so bad. Sweaty and the food was terrible. Sam bailed me out. He thought he hated you at first, but then, he decided he'd be impressed instead."

I hung my head. "I'm sorry. I just… I don't know… needed an excuse."

"I thought we were at least friends, Bella," he told me, voice traitorously soft, the pain in his eyes too bearable to take. "You used me."

Good. He was turning away from me. That's what I wanted, and also, I deserved this. I had used him. Now that I thought about it, I really had kicked him while he was down. I forced myself to endure this torture.

"I did, and…I'm just so sorry, Jacob." A tear slipped out of my eye and down my face.

"Aw, Bells, don't cry." He sat on the edge of the mattress, and reached out a hand as if to brush it off. Then, he thought better of it and pulled it back. "I guess…it kind of…worked out in the end."

"What do you mean?"

Jacob reached one calloused hand to scratch nervously at his neck. "There's…good news, too."

"Jake…"

"I…um…I…well, I imprinted," he said, a flush flaming his cheeks.

My mouth dropped to the white checkered tile, and my eyes grew wide as Frisbees. This, I was sure, was some alternate reality I had woken up in, some other dimension were things were topsy turvy. I mean, I'd always known it would happen. I guess this was another reaction I'd never thought about practicing. I forced my mouth to close. My teeth shut together with a sharp clacking sound.

"Say something," he said.

What, exactly, did he want me to say to that?

"Congratulations." It was the best response I could think of, although I stuttered over the consonants.

He looked away and twisted a piece of his faded shirt in his hands. "Thanks," he muttered.

"On…on who?"

"She knows you, she said. Vanessa ring a bell?" He gave a sheepish smile, the kind I gave to people when I talked about Edward. "She came to visit me when she found out I was in prison and tried to give me a big long lecture about how to treat my girlfriends. I sort of…blurted out some stuff I shouldn't have said. She got freaked out and ran away. But Sam bailed me out and I went to find her again." His voice grew boyish and bashful again. "I explained everything to her, and…she's a bit of an adventure seeker, so she agreed. It took her a while to convince her I was a werewolf though… she brought out the pepper spray, and when it didn't even faze me, she tried to call the police. I took her running, and well, she believed."

I gasped. "Va…va…Vanessa? The bar tender, Andy's sister?"

He nodded slowly. "She's really something great. She's here actually. I made her fly into Oregon though, just in case things weren't all tidied up here. She's older than me, by five years, but… I guess I always did have a thing for older women." He looked at me playfully.

I smiled some. But inside, I had this funny feeling, this painful pinch in the recesses of my heart, that I had lost something in that instant. I didn't know what, or why I should've cared, but I did care, just a tiny bit.

"That's really great, Jake. I'm happy for you," I made myself say anyway, and I was for the most part.

An awkward silence fell over us then. No one said anything. I felt that, during my unconsciousness, a chasm had been dug between Jacob and I. And the longer we sat together, the more pieces that crumbled off the edges beneath our feet.

"Well, um," Jacob said, standing up so fast that a small gust of air blew my hair back from my face.

He left in a burst of wind, too, muttering "See ya round" as he did so.

I sat there, clutching the ruffled sheet of paper, trying to stop the flood of tears that came for what should have been no reason at all. I guess I'd just have to accept the fact that in my heart, I'd always have a small, secret section reserved for Jacob Black. I sat there and waited for Edward to return.

"Miss us, ducky?" asked a slithery voice near me. I whipped my head around, and then, seeing the source of the sound, scrambled out of bed and began backing up towards the door.

The three hags from _El Sinos Cantina _were standing forebodingly in my hospital room, looking misplaced by the sink, next to the interactive model of a human hand, still in the same black robes I remembered.

I closed my eyes tight. Surely, I was imagining this. However, when I opened them back up, they were still standing there. Mysterious, faceless, otherwordly…

"You ought to thank us for our strife," the one on the left squeaked like a violin.

"We saved your precious husband's life," said the one with wind as a voice.

"I…uh…thank you," I said, too stunned to say anything else. Behind me though, I had my hand on the door handle. When I tried to turn it though, I found it locked. Locked? From the outside?

The hags snickered.

"Why are you back?" I asked.

"To not show our gratitude, would indeed be very rude," they chanted.

"Gratitude for what?"

"We don't like the Unseelie much at all," they told me. "They think they're mighty, strong, and tall. They interfere with fate and rob us three of our appointed job."

"So…you're…" I remembered something from Mythology class. "You're fates?"

"The Hoverers, the Eternals, the Finale," they repeated.

"The Ambiguous," I mumbled under my breath. "Erm…you're welcome, for defeating the Fae I mean."

"We'd like to give you a gift," they chorused, a strange dissonance of squeaking and crawling and squelching, deeply unsettling.

I wondered briefly why Edward hadn't come back yet, and then stopped. For all I knew, these _hoverers_ could have stopped time. They apparently could appear into a room at will, no doors, windows, or keys required.

The middle one held out a shriveled white hand. Pointed fingernails tipped the ends of long, spindly fingers. What rested in the middle though was a small vial, just bigger than a thimble.

Ruby red liquid glowed inside of it, emitting a light of its own, sending speckles and pale red motes skipping out to dance along the green walls.

"What is that?" I cowered farther against the heavy door.

"Humanity," they answered without delay. "A fresh start. The vampire who drinks this will start where he left off. But, be warned…"

The left hag started off the rhyme this time. "The effects, nobody can undo."

"And only one may sip this brew," the right one finished.

The weight of what they said crashed into me. In that vial, was Edward's dream, his irreversible dream.

_The thing that would separate him and his family forever…_ My head never failed to argue with me.

Without warning, the hag in the middle tossed the vial my way. Despite myself, I jerked in a mad rush to catch it. When I felt it's cold glass weight safely confined in my curled palm, I looked back up only to find the three women…hags…fates…whatever they where, vanished into thin air.

My ears picked up a knock at the door. I jammed the vial into my back pocket, jumped into my bed, and tried to control my breathing. Edward strolled in with a plate of food and a glass resting on a tray. He sat in on the table beside my bed, and then pointed to my hand. "What's that?"

In panic, thinking that maybe I'd forgotten to conceal the bottle, my eyes darted to my closed fist. In it, though, was just the wanted poster Jacob had handed me. I opened my fingers slowly.

Edward, an amused but curious look in his topaz and red orbs, grabbed the crumpled up flyer and lifted it from my hand.

"May I?" he asked.

I nodded.

Smoothing it out, he began to read. "Wanted: Jacob Black. Recently taken into custody. Escaped from Matios prison. On foot and dangerous…hmmm…"

"You can read Spanish?" I asked.

"Love, I can _speak _Spanish fluently." There was a smile in his eyes, a nice break from the tension of earlier. "And Italian, and French, and Chinese, and German…"

"Figures," I muttered.

I shifted in my bed and felt the vial in my pocket, the one burning through the fabric like hot lead. The shock from the whole experience had yet to sink in.

"What, might I ask, is this all about?" He was gesturing to the paper.

I took the pillow out from behind my head, pushed it against my face, and groaned.

The next second, I felt a frigid, distinctly masculine mass cover my body. Long fingers lifted up the edge of the pillow, and alien, though still familiar eyes, peeped at me underneath it. "You can tell me anything, you know."

I removed the pillow, letting my head fall back to the mattress, expecting Edward to get up off me, but he didn't. Instead he opted to crawl up the rest of my body, till our faces were at the same level, and hover above me.

My breath hitched in my throat. Edward. On top of me. Married to him… No way was he planning to do something in the hospital bed.

"You can tell me," he repeated, eyes kind, but his mouth twisted into a mischievous smirk. He knew exactly what he was doing to me.

How he had gone from being hopelessly guilt ridden to this lazy predatory baiting was beyond me, but I couldn't say I was complaining.

So, I told him the entire story, watching every expression that crossed his face. He laughed at the part where I sold Jake out, before he saw the hurt in my eyes. I laughed with him though, when I told him about me stealing a car.

"I'm utterly in wonderment of how you didn't get electrocuted, Bella," he said.

I continued, up to the point I saw him lying in his bed. I hadn't meant to go that far, back to that brink moment when I thought he was dead. Twin tears slid down the sides of my face, into my tangled dark hair.

Edward cringed. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm sorry I…did…what I did."

I frowned. I'd brought the guilt back.

"I'll spend eternity making it up to you," he told me next.

Eternity. I thought of the little vial in my pocket. Is that really what he had? What we had? I was beginning to wish the hags had never given me the vial.

_If there was a way I could become human for you, no matter how much it hurt, I would do it. _He'd said that once. I didn't know which way was right. If I did give him the vial, and he drank it as I was sure he would, I'd be breaking up our family. He'd die. Esme…Alice…Carlisle…they all would be crushed. I could almost imagine the looks on their faces, standing over his grave. I would have killed their son and brother.

If I didn't, on the other hand, and he somehow found out about it later, what would happen then? Would he leave me, reject me? That outcome was unbearable, too.

I was starting to understand what the contents of that bottle consisted of – regret. Bright red regret enclosed in glass.

I focused myself then, to turn back to Edward. "You don't have anything to make up for," I said. "Please," I pleaded, running my fingertips down his face. "I hate it when you're angry with yourself. It was worth it. You're worth it." I stared into his eyes, trying to transform the doubt I saw there by the sheer power of my will. I sighed. "I really, really hate it when you get like this."

Unexpected and out of the blue, slyness lit up his face. His lips bent down to brush over my collar bone. "Do you hate it when I get like this?" he questioned, velvety and low pitched.

I didn't have the breath to answer as he worked frantic kisses up the side of my neck, wandering up my chin. At the corner of my mouth, he stopped, and his burning eyes threw their flames to lick my own passion as he lifted them to peer through lowered lashes. He stopped to whisper "I asked, Bella, do you hate it when I do this?"

His sweet whisper brushed across my lips in a caress of its own. "No," I gasped out breathlessly. "That's…that's good."

"Hmmm," he muttered. This time, he trailed his tongue down my neck to the point where the fabric ended, and flesh began. He planted a long kiss there, just above my sternum. "Just good?" he asked gruffly.

"Amazing," I corrected. "Awesome. Excellent. Astounding. Marvelous…" His touches had reduced me to a classic romance novel heroine.

"I think I can do better." His hands, resting on the bed at his sides up till this point, began to move. Simultaneously, sensuously, they skittered over my sides, starting at my knees. Then, they traced a path towards my blushing face, lingering at my outer thighs, over my hips, following the contours of my body all the way up to my face.

I was breathing so hard it was embarrassing. ""Edward…we're in…a…_hospital_!" I gasped out.

He was brushing the tip of his nose over my neck, smelling me most likely. "So I noticed." Now, he was languidly covering it in kisses. One of his hands traveled down to grab my hip. Neither of us was prepared for my reaction. I jerked, the thing in my stomach going crazy. My back arched slightly, and I pushed myself into Edward, tilting my head so he could have better access.

But, to my thorough dismay, he pulled away. "I've wanted to taste your skin for so long when you were away that I could barely stand it. I dreamed, Bella." His face looked so alive. "When I was lying on that bed, I dreamed, and it was the most wonderful thing. I told you that I'd dream of you if I could, and I did."

The vial in my pocket sent a shock to me. I had the power to give him dreams forever.

"Tonight, Bella," he continued. "I have it all arranged. Charlie is sorry that you got sick and we had to cancel the honeymoon, but he says he'll catch a flight next week. Tonight, Bella… I promised you I'd give you the wedding night you deserve." His eyes scorched, and although he hadn't asked, I knew he was waiting for my consent.

In the back of my mind, I knew what he was doing… trying to give me everything I wanted before I had to be changed in three weeks, but I really couldn't say no. I smiled nervously. "Finally," I said. "But Edward..."

"Mhmm..."

"You should really give Emmett his arm back."

**A/N: Yippee! Moving right along. So now Bella CAN make Edward human, or not. Both choices have about an equal amount of pros and cons. How will this situation pan out? Find out next time on, **_**Rose Thorns,**_** Twilight fanfic. This story's wrapping up. It may not seem like it, but it is. I hope this isn't too much plot crammed in. I thought that maybe it might, but this has been my plan since the beginning. Maybe there's more to the situation than meets the eye, but just so you know, the events surrounding the vial are the last big sitch in this fic. And then, it'll end. **


	39. Chapter ThirtyThree ACTUALLY

I walked with Edward down the tiled hallway as if in a dream

**Disclaimer: **I'm running out of creative ways to put it. I own this series no more than I own Harrison Ford, Mt. Rushmore, Lipton Tea Company, a good bottle of pantene shampoo, a million bucks, a TRILLION bucks, blond hair, fluency in Welsh, China... Must I go on?

THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! (yodels atop a Swiss mountaintop) I give you each a metaphorical cupcake.

Lorrin: Hmmm... well, then she'd have to live with regret forever. Literally, so...I dunno. I've got a different ending in mind, one that involves... eh, you'll find out. Thanks for reviewing! You're 744! If i were a piccadilly, you'd receive a free meal right now.

**Djtlas: Thanks. Wait no more! Glad you like my spare time, 1oclock in the morning, near delierious rambling. **

**Minimeyer: Loved the pm... I think the scrolly thing on my mouse is broken. Eh, it was time for a new one anyway. Haha, JK! :D Yes, that sounds like an excellent hiding spot. ORRRRRR, behind my back. Move along emmett, nothing to see here! :D (ching). Thanks my friend. **

**XxxElianexXx: Tense suspense...oooo that ryhmed. Well, thanks for the w-o-w. THANKS as always. That really is quite gross of Edward. Kicking an amputee when he's, well, amputated. Haha. :P**

**Thrushflightedward'sstalker: haha. I forgot about that. I did get a little disappointed. First ember and all. If someone flamed me, I might attack. Nah, jk, it didn't really bother me much. All's forgiven! Yay. Made up for by your amore! Thanks. (breathes deeply) no name changes this time. But hey, at least I figured them all out. Does that count for anything??**

**Euphoriafalls: Chastity...right. Did I mention Phillip is sortof a sexaholic. It's sad really. He's going to meetings and everything though. :D Oooo...mozart...must say I never liked his music much. Beethoven's my man, but not in the sexual (aka. Philliplike) way, because he's old with a beard and ...ah im just aramblin. Congrats to Hannah! And thanks. Phillip thanks you excessively for Chastity. (I smell baby llamas) What do you call those anyway? I mean, horses are foals. Cows are calves. Ducks are ducklings. Llamaettes?? **

**Bronzehairedfreak1901: haha. Thanks!**

**Emberwillow14: I know. When my muse gets her slimy/control/megalomaniacal hands on me, it's just chaos sometimes. At least there's always a direction, even if I think it's stupid, I must press onward! She commands it. And actually, it's a he: Chad Michael Murray to be exact. Whoo hoo (WaMu) :D You go, embow... rip apart those fictional characters. USE THE CHAIR! And thank you oddles**

**Thegirlfromamestris: Yes, I'm sure you didn't know, but Bella is quite talented in matters of banishment. It's kind of crazy actually. HAHA! Twigs! (cue music). Emmett the snowman! Was a jolly happy soul! Ah...tears of joy...good times. Good times. Thank you. Thank you very much.**

**Dafuturemrssurie: Liked the random capitalization on the 'n'. It made me giggle. Edward, my friend, is the very definition of yummy! Look it up. Mobs of angry fangirls made Merriam Webster change it. And thanks.**

**SavannahX: Why thank you ever so much for the love. (sigh) Ah, it's good to be loved. Haha. Anyway, no homicides for savannah. Unless you're in the mood to kill some of the bad people: world dictators, animal abusers... osama, terrorists and the like. My faeries apparently make everyone laugh. Clearly, no one has studied Irish mythology/O.R. Melling books (better than HP and SOMETIMES twilight, I tell ya!) O, and I'd definitely be at the TA meeting. Id be the one clutching to the book in withdrawal spasms. It'd be sad. Really, really, lifescarring sad. But thank you!!**

**Dlmadlang: Yep. This story is like a perpetual cycle of endings. It's odd to write, actually. But anyway. Dreading? Hmmm... Are you psychic? Alice maybe? Jk...it won't be too terribly bad. I can't promise perfection though. YAY!! OMG IVE HIT THE ADJECTIVE JACKPOT!! THANKS!! Loved every single one. Trophies all shiny and polished on my shelf. OOOO...don't bow at MY feet, anyway. They smell. :P thanks!**

**Allyq1990: I'm glad you see it as a hard choice. Other people are just like ditch it! That's a long time to live with a secret like THAT, forever is. Cliche? Darn. Ending to make up for it though I hope.**

**Pollilolli: Ouch? Severe? As in, lifethreatening? I might have to beat you with sticks. Defend my dignity and whatnot. I WATCH JACKIE CHAN MOVIES. Just warning you. Thanks...I think?**

**E: haha. Did you read the other chapters? Thanks!**

**Yan Niao: YAY! Someone likes it. Whoa nelly. My brain is lawfully married to Kerssica (don't ask), but erm, you might be scared...and scarred...for a long long time. But if that's what you REALLY want, then here! Take it! It's heavy, wrinkly, ugly, and pink (LEAST favorite color). Have fun! I'm going to go be dumb now... without my brain and all. LAAAAAAAAAA (thanks) LAALALALA.**

**Thefuturemrsedwardcullen: HAHA! I have four now. Lily/YOUKNOWWHO/Steph/betaee...HAHAHAHAHA. Don't be sad! No, I will make like glad tuperwear and save you from sadness! Dun dun da dun! Haha. Here. I give you peach (wtf) icecream and a chiropractor named Chuck. Thanks for everything.**

**LaurenBTwilightFan: You need to put that on a leash...haha. New phrase, referring to your excitement. I rather like it and jump at any chance to use it. So, yeah. Nice quotes. First one was my favorite, tho. Thanks and cya.**

**Lollieroxmysox: ah!! Someone's a smart cookie. Way to erm... foresee a conversation I had planned between Eddie and Carlisle. There is, however, better medicine these days. Just saying. Thanks for the review.**

**Thats my Pen name.: Puppy dog face was persuasive! However, I've had the ending planned out since the dawn of time. Jk... the noon of time's more like it. Oh, no. You ran away? WHERED YOU GO? I MISS YOU SO! SEEMS LIKE ITS BEEN FOREVER.. sorry, likely to burst out in random song. Youve been warned. Thanks.**

**Ian3737: Aw (blushes like...like...there is no earthly comparison) Hmmm...bout that last bit. Depends on how it's written I think, but who's to say that's my plan. I think you'll be the perfect amount of happy, sad, and reflective at the end. :P Thanks oodles for all the wonderful reviews! You made my day! **

**Melody Cullen: I wish my English professor would tell me things like that. "Amazing as usual" and all. Im not the best at essays unfortunately. No fun in those. Yuck! I just thought Jake deserved a girl for once. Nice web of speculation. It does seem like ive written myself into a corner i suppose, from your side of the fence. Thrilled you love that line. It's one of my faves. Something about that "lowered lashes" part makes me swoon.**

**Ellerin Kia: Are you sure you're at the right temple? I didn't see you. There's two, you see, one to me, Lily Turtle, and another to Ily Turtle...See the difference? Ah well, it's the WONDERFUL SPLENDERIFIC thought that counts. Sorry about leaving you dangling over cliffs. I dod that a lot. Thanks.**

**Mari alice: Yes, that's true. It could present a problem. And whether or not they'll get their nite together depends upon whether or not you favorited me... not to impose, but... well, I can't tell. It's a suprise! And thanks.**

**SS: True... Just another part of the seemingly unsolvable dilemma. Pluto's not a planet... isn't that sad. I bet Pluto feels all rejected and left out now. Let's all send a card to Pluto!! Allright, well I am anyways. WHOS WITH ME? ...anyone?...someone? ...fine! here I go with the babbling again. Sorry. Thanks. **

**Lovablelozer: ****:( You caught me. But you're only the second! It's a nice phrase. (sniffle) Quite a dilemma, it seems like! And thanks.**

**SillyElla: Really? I've been lied to! Oh, the treachery! Haha, but moving on, yes, zombies are back. The survival guide says you should barricade yourself in a Wal-Mart. I'd get on that if I were you. Nice guess, though. And thanks, love!**

**Albnal33: I have a bad habit of that, plot cramming. Too many ideas. So little time. So little patience. NO, dont' be sorry at all. I adore it when people leave thoughtful reviews! Adore! I adore you! Yay, did I raise your selfesteem a smidge? You sure did mine! Haha. Of course, if Edward doesn't drink it, which means he wouldn't know about it, Bella would live forever with guilt and that feeling of "what if", and it would eventually eat away at her soul. Just looking at the other side of the coin. THANKS!**

**XXxbrokenxXx: I read all reviewers opinions. Thanks for yours! Cyalatabye!**

**Nobodyparticular: Phew...no pressure or anything. Haha. jk. I hope you think that at the end. Living forever does sound nice, but not with guilt. THANKS, as always! :D**

**Mandja: Thaks for the love! Yippee! Chat you later...hopefully.**

**Moonifrui: Me too, almost. It's tempting to keep it going forever and ever. But alas... it must end sometime. THANKS!**

**Smile for Life: You and everyone else I think. Even me, sometimes. K, and thnx.**

**FantasyLove: Thank you very much, both for the liking and the opinions. Considered and appreciated!**

**Deepcutfighter: OH, haven't seen you in a while! Glad you're back. It seems to be tragic either way. Either immediate tradgedy, or eventual tradgedy, so... what's going to happen next?! (legasp). Thnx.**

**MeyaRose: Meh, there's a first time for everything. Haha...jk. I'm sure you're face is perfectly normal. And thank you for faithfully reviewing.**

**Ol2bob: Come to think of it, I love Edward. Any model. Do you REALLY feel that way? But, thank you!! So much!! Whoo hoo (wamu). Im going to go eat lasagna now. **

**Dazzled26: This chapter should explain that quirk. Thanks! Come again...**

**Hibiscusqt: I'm like a bungee chord with my suspense. Haha...ahhhh, no one thinks it's funny...erm, PUNNY! Haha. thanks for the awesome, as always, reviews. You are the cooliest!**

**Iminlovewithjasper: Anytime. **

Chapter 32

I walked with Edward down the tiled hallway as if in a dream. Flashes of fluorescent light from the rectangular panels on the ceiling were the only threads keeping me tied to the physical world.

Hazily, as if from a distance, doctors' and nurses' words hummed like swarms of bumblebees. They brushed past me occasionally at a brisk walk, and my shoulder would jump backward slightly. I'd hear a 'sorry, miss', the slight 'shushing' of scrubs against my cotton shirt, but I didn't look up. I was too caught up in thoughts, this sticky web of thoughts that the vial in my pocket had created.

I wished then that the women had never given it to me, or that I hadn't caught it. I wished that I would've let it smash and shatter on the cold hospital floor into a million pieces and watched the liquid flow out into a useless ruby puddle, easily wiped up and thrown away.

Even Edward's presence, which I was normally so attune to, that followed me everywhere like a steady drumbeat, was dull by my side, like music heard playing from a thickly insulated room, his cold grip on my arm a mere breeze.

And Jacob. He'd imprinted on an acquaintance of mine. Truthfully, I didn't know how to feel about that. I was happy for him, yes, but it felt like yet another wedge had been driven between us. Distance that we wanted was all right. It could be crossed whenever we didn't desire it anymore...but this distance was permanent, set in heart-engraved stone. I could never cross it myself, and even though I didn't really want to, the fact that the option had been taken away was stinging.

Right now, what Edward and I would do stirred up countless feelings, too. I was nervous, more nervous than I'd ever been. The times before, when I'd practically begged him for it- that was different because I was prepared. I knew what I wanted and I was going for it, but now was different. It was unexpected and it came upon me so suddenly that I hadn't really let it sink it till now.

My simple golden wedding band was suddenly a frightening thing. What if he wasn't pleased with me? I really didn't have a clue what to do anyway. Or, what if I did something wrong? My face flushed scarlet just imagining the mortification that would become of that.

The next moment, I was promptly jerked out of my own head by a different cold hand.

"Hey!" Alice exclaimed, "I've been trying to talk to you for minutes! Earth to Bella!"

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"I need to talk to you," she said.

"Alice, don't bother her with it..." my husband started.

"Zip it, Edward," she replied, turning back to me. "Something weird happened in my visions today," she continued, "when you were in that room."

"Jacob was there," I explained, even as the vial scorched me. I was sure it would leave a mark.

"Yes," she said thoughtfully, "I saw that. It was black like usual, but then he left, and...I don't know. You disappeared, but it wasn't like normal."

I cocked my head to the side, feigning innocence.

"You're future sort of...fogged over, like frost on a window pane or something. I saw shapes and shadows, but that was it. Did anything happen?" she asked skeptically.

I shook my head. "I told you that you needed to get that clairvoyance thing checked out," I said with a laugh.

Edward grabbed my arm and started to pull me away again. "You see," he said angrily.

Alice looked hesitant, but I couldn't calm her fears, even falsely, for Edward had dragged me out to be swept up again by the chattering current of hospital personnel.

"She's making a mountain out of a mole hill," Edward said quietly.

I laughed. "That's Alice for you." My skin was singed again. It was a mountain, a very tall mountain. Everest would have been envious.

Why couldn't Alice see them, I wondered. But, if they really were something like the Fates, they had control over the future. That would mean that they had control over Alice's gift. I was once again taken aback by how much resided in this world that I didn't know about.

We got into the elevator, and Edward casually pushed the button for the ground level. Down, even closer...something caught in my throat.

Then, catching me completely off guard, Edward laughed. "Remind me, darling, to never send you to a foreign country without me there to watch. Stealing cars, becoming completely drunk, run-ins with crazy psychics, and putting someone in prison. Is that all you did?"

I shot him a sly side-glance. "What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico."

The doors opened with a whoosh of air and we exited the small space. Edward grabbed my hand and walked faster than normal. I was struggling to keep up. We passed the waiting rooms, with their silent people reading tabloids in lounging chairs, or catching up on the latest news. It occurred to me then, that this was not Forks hospital. Then we walked out the automatic doors, into the dusk. Somehow, I'd slept the day away.

He swiftly strode across the parking lot, me in tow. I glanced up at the sign once: _Port AngelesMemorialHospital. _Ah, so that was where we were. I supposed that there weren't enough people to man the one in Forks, what with all of them still on "vacation" and all.

Once I was in the Volvo, and Edward was turning the key to start the ignition, I accidentally blurted out "I can't believe I'm married to you now." My hand reached up and clamped itself over my traitorous mouth.

He turned and looked at me with carefully controlled panic. "It hasn't been much so far, but...do you like it?"

"That's a silly question."

He shrugged. "Do you? I mean, I know you didn't want this."

"I wanted it," I assured him.

"All the same, what's your answer?"

"Well...married life certainly hasn't been what I expected so far, what with war and the plane rides and the car theft, but...yeah. Who am I kidding? I love it, Edward. I love you! There's..." I struggled with how to explain it without sounding cliché. "It, this is going to sound stupid, but it feels _right_, like I belong here, like this ring," I held up my hand with the wedding band on it, "is just another part of my finger. That sounds dumb." I sighed.

Edward shook his head. "Not dumb at all actually. You could be a poet, Bella." He smiled crookedly.

"What about you?" I asked. "Do you like being married to me?"

"That's a silly question."

I smiled. "Care to elaborate?"

"Every day I spend with you is the best day of my life. I hate leaving you, even if it's only to walk into another room." My mouth fell open. "I thought I'd be lonely for forever, eternity, but then you came along, and it was like finding more than a soul mate. Bella, it was like I found my soul."

He took his eyes off the road to peer at me so intensely, I felt frozen, suspended in the depths of them. For once, I didn't complain about it.

"You _own_ me Bella, all of me, from my head to my toes, it's all yours. Not much of a present, I know."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he continued.

"Let me finish, please. I have so much love for you, sometimes I feel like I will explode from it all. I love the way you talk, the expressions you make, your reactions, how clumsy you are only because it means I have you in my arms more. I love the way you sing to yourself when you think nobody's listening, your stories, listening to your opinions, the way you describe things, your determination, everything. Every single minuscule little detail."

My mouth was ajar. He smiled and reached up one long white finger to gently close it. "Now you can talk," he said.

I tried to, but the words got stuck on their way out of my vocal chords.

"Dazzled again?" he asked.

I nodded mutely. My mouth began to move. He tilted his head the side and gazed at me curiously.

"Oh," I finally said.

His eyes caught fire. "Oh... I can work with that," he whispered, leaning forward.

I gulped, but let him kiss me senseless for a few seconds, before I pulled away.

"Watch the road," I said, and then added, "dear."

He chuckled. "Whatever you say, honey."

A few miles more, after my breathing had calmed down and my heart stopped racing for the most part, I spoke again. "So...when you say traditional, do we have to have pet names for each other?"

Edward laughed outright. "What'd you have in mind?"

"Eddieweddy," I joked.

"Only if I get to call you Bellacakes."

"Stud muffin?"

"Hmm...Doll face." His tone was amusingly thoughtful.

"Snookums?"

"If that's what you want, pumpkin."

I made a face. "I think I'll call you Sparkles."

He cringed too. "I think I'll close my eyes and pretend like you call me 'lion' whenever you do... sunshine," he threw in.

"Do you want me to call you lion?" I asked, between a hopeless fit of giggles.

Edward looked exasperated. "Well...no. It was just a...suggestion. Much better than Sparkles." He huffed.

"Aw, I was just joking," I told him. "...lion." That set the laughter off again. "The lion," I said in a deep voice.

"I'll show you lion," he growled threateningly. Before my awareness could catch up, Edward had unbuckled my seatbelt, lifted me up, and had me pinned in the back seat.

I stared blankly into his penetrating gaze. "The car!" I exclaimed.

"We've stopped," he said, "and you, sunshine, look ravishing."

Next, his hands grabbed mine and pinned them up above my head. I could only gasp helplessly. Then, I couldn't see his face anymore. His lips were trailing a lazy pattern from my ear to the point where my shoulder and neck connected. "Ed. Ward," I groaned out breathlessly.

"That's not my name."

Casually, his hand reached up under the hem of my shirt. When his cold flesh touched my burning skin, I shivered. His fingers splayed out over my abdomen, and I could feel him smile against my collarbone as he continued to dole out his lingering kisses one by torturous one.

I wanted to touch him, so I tried to move my hands to do so. Run my fingers through his hair, feel the swell and ebb of his shoulder muscles, anything, but I still found my wrists to be locked in the cold vice of his hands.

"What's my name again?" he whispered into my ear, sliding his lips over the sensitive skin there with every syllable.

"Edward," I groaned, struggling against his grip.

"Who?"

I sighed. "Lion," I muttered.

"Sorry," he said, "Didn't catch that."

Yes, I'm sure, with his super vampire hearing, that he heard it perfectly well. Even so, I wanted control of my appendages. "Lion," I shouted.

His fingers released, and my hands immediately went to his back. He moved his body down to rest his head on my chest, listening to my heart sputter erratically.

I ran my hands over every place I could reach, down the slightly indented path of his spine, across his broad shoulders, sliding them through his hair. I couldn't get enough.

"Why'd you stop?" I complained.

He lifted his head to look at me like I was incompetent. "You didn't honestly think that I'd take you in this car, did you?"

_Take me_... He'd never worded it quite like that. My heart skipped beats like a broken record.

"Um...no." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks.

"Silly Bella," he said, before lifting himself up off me and climbing out of the car. He held the door open for me. "Shall we?"

I exited the vehicle, letting Edward help me step out into the cold night air. Examining my surroundings, I was surprised to see that I recognized them. We were standing before the dark silhouette of Edward's house.

"Here?" I asked, not that I minded, but it seemed like a risky place to get walked in on.

But Edward shook his head no. "Just one stop...for tradition's sake."

I furrowed my eyebrows. He grabbed my hand and led me inside, not bothering to flip on the light switch. Clearly, nobody was home. We walked up the steps and he led me into his room. Here, however, he did turn on the lights. His window, broken just yesterday, was now repaired. There wasn't even a crack as evidence of the violence.

"Jasper's pretty good with stuff like that," he said, noticing where my stare was directed. "Now, Bella, would you do me a favor?"

I looked at his smirking face and became suspicious. "Yes..."

"Put your wedding dress back on."

"Why?" I asked.

"So that we can do our wedding night the correct way."

I narrowed my eyes, but began walking towards his bathroom. Everything was as I left it, only someone, probably Alice, had hung up my dress on the shower curtain. I threw my clothes in the corner, pulled it down, and stepped inside, pulling the smooth fabric up my body till I could stick my arms through the sleeves. I managed to get the zipper about halfway up. Edward would have to do the rest.

Then, with horror, I remembered something: the vial. I scrambled to reach it in my jeans pocket. Once I did, I didn't know what to do with it. I saw the sink. I could pour the liquid down it with no one the wiser. _Pour out Edward's dream..._ Somehow, I just couldn't. There was a small floral-patterned knapsack on the floor. Yellow paper was folded neatly on top of it. 'Bella' it said. I read it quickly. It was from Alice. She wished me luck and said how happy she was for me. 'I hope this helps' was the last line. I unzipped the zipper and peeped in. Inside, was lingerie of every color and underwear of every type, lacy, sheer, polka-dotted, and striped. I didn't have a choice. I'd have to take the bag, either that, or leave it here and take the chance that it might be discovered.

I shoved the vial deep into the bottom of the knapsack, under layers and layers of lacy mesh, zipped it back up, threw it over my shoulder and walked out the door.

Outside, Edward was standing in his tux, looking exactly the same way he did on our wedding day.

"Here, let me help you with that," he said, walking around to the back of my dress. His nimble fingers had it zipped the rest of the way in a second.

"What's in the bag?" he asked.

I blushed again. "Alice said I should take it."

He shrugged, slung the bag over his own shoulder, my anxious eyes watching it carefully, and then offered me the crook of his arm. I took it with a flourish, and we began descending the stairs.

As we came down them, Edward hummed the wedding march. I couldn't help but smile. He opened the front door, and, much to my surprise, the rest of my new family were making a path for us, out to a shiny blue car I'd never seen before.

As soon as they noticed us, they grabbed birdseed from little pouches and threw it at us. Alice looked like she was having way more fun than the occasion called for.

I laughed. "You really are big on tradition, aren't you?" I asked him.

He only smiled and walked on, opening the passenger's side door for me. I got in and waved at everyone, slightly embarrassed. I heard Emmett call out. "Nice bag, Edward!"

But he was already in the car, driving to who-knew-where. He tossed the bag in the back.

"I hope this is a rental."

"Not a chance."

I took in the soft leather seats, the sleek GPS navigational screen, and the futuristic looking radio, lit up around the edges by a silver-gray light.

"Why did you decide you needed a new one?"

"I didn't," he said slyly. "I decided that _you_ needed a new one."

No. He did _not_ buy me a new car. Who knew how much this thing cost?

"I'm putting it on E-bay the moment we get back," I warned him.

"You'll do no such thing." He turned his puppy dog face to me. "Please, Bella. Just accept it and be happy."

I slumped down in the seat, and grumbled, "I'll accept it, but I won't be happy."

"You," he told me, "are the only person in the entire world who would be upset about owning a brand new Camaro Z28."

"Yes," I agreed, "I am."

**A/N: Yay. Here's Bella's car. I thought it looked like her for some reason. Nothing too fancy: ****/forums/images/camaro.jpg****. R&R please**


	40. Chapter ThirtyFour ACTUALLY

Driving along the streetlamp-less highway, the only illumination visible was pouring out from the headlights into twin puddles in front of the car

**Disclaimer:** ... A rather lovely beta of mine, thefuturemrs.edwardcullen, calls me Stephenie Meyer...does that count?

_Thank you. 32 reviews for the last chapter? That's sort of a low, but that's okay. Sorry for not updating. Things came up._

**Reshmi Solaris: Thanks for reviewing! No early plot revealers though.**

**Dazzle.me.darling: Why haven't you? Haha. Jk. Odd similes and metaphors are my forte. Lol. Thanks.**

**Melodycullen: Sadly, my parents who pay my college bills...that's who cares. Thanks as always. Love the specification. Good grief, I wish that word were shorter. Glad you like the car. Thrushflight told me it was the same one vjgm picked, but I honestly looked for it for a while. I didn't know she had it or I would've picked the firebird. I had it down between the two. Anyway, LY!**

**Transfiguration: Your review reminds me of something said in LOTR...so small a thing, such a little thing. Haha. (sigh) And here I thought it at least was safe from Twilight references. I was wrong...**

**Tailwriter: lol. You read them all? No pressure or anything... and I seriously doubt that your fifth dimension, tiny clock, butter knife story was better. At least it was grammatically correct I'll bet my shillings! If I lived in England...and had shillings...and they hadn't converted to the Euro (original name, people! Gosh) Bella's ignoring your clocks...sorry. Maybe if they were of the cuckoo variety, then...**

**Clumsy318: Drat. I'll put the link in my profile some time, but if you type in 2010 z28 camaro on google, then you could see it. Until I hyperlink it that is. Thnx.**

**Bronzehairedfreak1901: You want to know something funny that your penname reminded me of? I never thought of bronze as red like the movie people made Rpattz's hair. I thought of it as like a dark gold. So, Edward in my head has dark gold hair. But you know how some people's internal clocks are off. I think my internal color schematic system is... Anyway, thanks. And yes, I didn't talk about your plot ranting for a reason. ;)**

**Monkey: I hope this one was worth waiting for, seeing as you've been waiting forEVER. But probably not. I wonder if there is a wait: worth ratio. Does its worth increase the longer you wait, or decrease? Ah, who cares. Math is over and I don't want to think about it. No internet access? What a coincidence. In fact, I wrote this entire chapter from a mcdonalds wifi hotspot. Mmmmmmm good. Fates are coming back, I promise. **

**DistinguishedAnguish: YAY THANKS! 800 and 801th reviewer. If you were corporeal, I'd give you a coupon for a free fry or something. Yeah, I'd say I sympathise with you about the senior year. But I took easy classes and free periods...and gained ten pounds from eating a mcflurry every day. Haha. I hope I get 1000, but probably not. Thanks! My favorite types of endings are smile/cry. Just a head's up.**

**Dandylion0042: Drat. That makes two plot things that don't add up. Thanks for telling me. Did you, perchance, read the rest of it? Just curious.**

**Truetwilighter13: So, I love you. LOVE you. LOVE LOVE LOVE... Sorry, I'mprobably freaking you out. But...erm, you left me like a review for every chapter postpublished... Thanks!! Did I mention I love you? And of course I'm writing more, silly. This story is about 9/10 of the way done, I'd say. But almost there. Hmmm...deathly rocks? That's a new one. Although the cliff part could use some work. Maybe it could be a plane instead. Sorry bout the tears. You are quite sex-oriented arent you? Haha. Jk. I just never had a frank review like that. Hopefully, you'll like this chapter (wink wink). Are you sure I've told you i love you? Have I tolddddd you lateeetlllyyy...oh, darn, there she goes again breaking into song. CYA! And thanks...again.**

**Allana A.: Aw, thanks. I sort of took every theory I have about BD, and instead of spacing them out over multiple stories, rolled them all into one big kahuna. Heck no Im writing more! 1: 30 in the morning...I know it well. Me and it are the best of friends actually. Its my middle name even. Lily 1:30am Turtle. It's a nightmare to fill out doctor's forms, I'll tell you that. Thanks.**

**Albnal33: Aw, thanks. I didn't get many praising reviews for this chapter, so yours really did boost my esteem. Hmmm...you always were the perceptive reviewer. Haha. quirkily is a super cool word. Wow...I just said super cool. Nope, that's not dorky at all. But, ly, thanks!**

**Krystina the Alien: (big, long, overdramatic sigh) edwarddidntbecomeasupervampirethefirsttimebecausehedidn'tdrinkenoughofit. Itskindoflikeamedicine. Ifyoudontgettheproperdosageitdoesntaffectyou. Haha. Sorry, I've just repeated that for a while. And the reason he didn't get it the last time was because he was weakened. He needed her blood just to stay alive. All right, how to put this... spark plugs! That'll do just fine. Okay, if, say, you had a bronze colored car that's battery was DYING, and you gave it a clumsy ENERGY BOOST, it would simply go back to NORMAL. But if the car was in tip top condition, and you gave it an energy boost, it would be turbo charged. Get it? Haha. lol. That was definitely one of the more unusual analogies I've had. Thanks for the review. Spazztastic is the coolest adjective under the sun. Thanks. **

**Ellen Dean: haha. "I would absolutely hide my brother's arm if I could." Nope, doesn't sound creepy at all. Thanks for the review and the laughs. :D**

**Truetwilighter13: Are you SURE I told you that I loved you??**

**Emberwillow14: The fates are coming back, sad to say. Just can't keep their slimy paws out of other people's business. Maybe you could defeat them by reading unrhymed freeverse... just a suggestion. Thanks for the awesome review! **

**Audra Laudargue: Is that a promise? Tempting... but I'm not giving away anything about the plot. **

**Dafuturemrssurie: Aw, thanks. Me too. Typos rule! Seriously. Bow to them. I said bow, woman! Ahem... sometimes I take things too far, but if I didn't you wouldn't have this story...so... THANKS!**

**Nobodyparticular: lol. Im running out of things to say back. I wish there were a bagillioin synonyms for thanks. I gratitude you? Nope, that doesnt work. I appreciate you? I'm forever in your debt? Nah... Oh, the woe of the limitations of the English language. Haha, but THANK YOU!**

**Twilighter4ever: Glad you laughed. Will do, and thanks.**

**Hibiscusqt: lol. You should listen to Toby Keith songs. He has an entire one about "what happens down in mexico, stays in mexico." It's hillarious. I wrote the bar scene listening to it. Or at least, I think it's Toby Keith. YES I LIKE COUNTRY MUSIC! WHOO HOO!! I'm marrying Keith Urban, in addition to Edward Cullen of course. We'll all move to a polygamist society in the middle of nowhere, Utah! Lol. Thanks.**

**Thrushflightedward'sstalker: Darn. If I would've known that I would've picked the firebird instead. I had it down between the camaro and the firebird, but then I watched transformers, and bumblebee was a camaro, so... yeah. YAY POINTS! **

**Ol2bob: Fluff is great! In build-a-bears, in Winnie the Pooh, on miniature poodles... but ESPECIALLY with E and B. Anywho, thrilled you enjoyed it. LY HERO! Thanks.**

**MarikaEmmie: Aw...I'll send my cat named Tibbins to visit you. Haha, thanks.**

**Minimeyer: oooo, looked that one up. NICE! Mine's either a ferrari 330, an original mustang, or a lambhorgini Gallardo, like the one Bella passed up at the airport... stupid bella. **

**MeyaRose: yeah... ill have to put it in my profile or something. (sigh) dumb ffnet laws. But, thank you ever so much!**

**Savannahx: OMG IT"S LIKE A NEVERENDING CIRCLE OF OBSESSION! Will it ever stop I ask you? DO WE EVEN WANT IT TO?? Erm, I missed my meeting this week. Can't you tell? I'm about to start having to go to pullinghairoutinbreakingdawnanticipation anyonomous. Either that, or get a wig. All right., I explained this in the chapter but you might've missed it. The fates control the future. Hence, they control Alice's gift. I saw you starting to come after me by the way. The old sit on a park bench and pretend to read the newspaper regime. I saw through it in a new york minute and flew away on my secretspy jet pack. :D**

**Silly Ella: How in the world can you boycott walmart? They have giant bouncy balls for crying out loud! And really good bread! And things that ARENT sugarfree! You're nuts. Absolutely nuts. Wallyworld, here I come! (thank you)**

**Angelfromhell: The vial doesn't like you either! So there! Haha. It's about 80 where I am, so...you should just move! Lol. Or find a hot vampire bf. Tom Sturrige. I really, really, really wanted him to play Edward, but Rpattz is a close second. (shrugs) ly! **

**Jalice14: Yep, there's a lemon in this chapter. But it's still rated t, so I can't do much, and I've never really written anything like that, so... Aw! Dont go into deep depression! Then there'll be breaking dawn! Although after I read that, as in, two hours after I buy the book...as in 2 o clock in the morning on August 3****rd****, IM going to go into deep dark depression. THANK YOU!!**

**Kerssica: Crap. I'm getting to your pm I promise. The world decided to attack me all at once. My internet crashed, my cousin ran away, and... you know the rest. OOC?? NO!! I tried to unmorsecode your morse code, and ended up with Leproiehdde. Or something like that. Was it in dutch?? WE HAVE TO MAKE PLANS!! Guest list, invitations, maids of honor, best men! Everything! Unless they make it illegal for brains to get married. But then we can just go to California. Everything's legal in California. LY! Thanks for everything. **

**Euphoriafalls: Did you warn them that he's a player? He cheated on Chastity with a girl named Patsie. She was crushed and skipped town. So, now he's going to have like a llama harem. Naughy phillip. THANKS! **

**Allyq1990: YAY! Thanks. **

**Carden88: It was either that or a firebird. But the vintage factor was why i picked them.**

**Roughdraft525: Edward... anything he does, says, eats, spits, or casually leans against is hot. Lol. **

Chapter 34

Driving along the streetlamp-less highway, the only illumination visible was pouring out from the headlights into twin puddles in front of the car. I couldn't think of anything to say.

I knew very well where we were going. Well, actually, I didn't know exactly _where_ we were going, but I did know what we would do when we got there. That fact alone was daunting.

Worry, doubt, fear of rejection – these things swirled around my mind in a self-conscious whirlpool, absolutely preventing any other thoughts from occupying the space. I was excited, though. That was good, right? I didn't know. Come to think of it, I didn't know much about the situation I was getting into at all.

Anxiously, I twirled my wedding band around my finger, spinning it over and over again. Or I was doing so, that is, until Edward caught my fidgeting hand in his, giving it a light peck with his lips.

"We don't have to..." he murmured quietly. "If you're not...ready."

I snorted. "I've been ready for a while."

"Nervous then?" he asked, voice slightly colored by notes of pain and worry.

I blushed. No matter what I said, with or without his talent, he'd know my real answer. Thus, I decided to tell the truth. "A little."

"It's understandable," he said. "There is a slightly veritable risk of death on your part." He spoke the words so unperturbed, in such a matter-of-fact manner.

"Not...," I stammered, "not about that." My face was on fire.

Silky fabric made a loud ruffling sound when I pulled my knees up to my chin and buried my forehead against it, a significantly uncomfortable action in a wedding gown actually.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

_I'm terrified that you will take one look at my naked body and run for the hills. _"Just forget it."

I studied him for a moment, noting his drawn mouth, his porcelain skin, his flawless perfection. And here I was, sitting in the passenger's seat of my stupid new Camaro in a wedding gown that simply didn't look correct without the makeup and fancy updo. In short, a complete mess.

"You can tell me."

Edward was starting to irk me with the way he sounded uncannily like a shrink right about now.

"I know that."

"But you won't?" he questioned.

"We have a winner," I said sarcastically. Feeling insecure tended to bring out my inner cynic.

Silence reigned for a few more awkward minutes, until Edward gave a sigh. I saw his knuckles grow whiter as he gripped the steering wheel. He really had changed a bit lately.

I decided then, that it was his patience finally running out. One can only go so long being repressed before they finally burst. Suddenly, I had a strange desire to actually _see_ him lose control. It sprang up from nowhere, and I quickly pushed it back down. That though, like throwing a sheet over a couch in the middle of the room, didn't make the odd urge vanish.

"Why?" he suddenly spat.

_Because I'm afraid you'll agree wholeheartedly. _"Because it's embarrassing." I blushed just thinking about it.

"Is it me, then?" he asked, not willing to simply let it go. "Are you afraid I won't be...good enough?"

My ears were playing tricks on me surely, for he could not have just said that. I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all but figured that his ego could be irreparably damaged. "No," I corrected fiercely. _Try the other way around._

He lifted both hands from the steering wheel and ran them through his hair. Groaning, I buried my face back into the silken fabric.

"Care to tell me what's wrong this time?" he asked.

"I'm ruining it," I told him.

"What?"

Color flooded my face once more. "Our wedding night."

Edward's tense expression softened, muscles relaxed. "You couldn't do that even if you tried."

"I could eat lots of garlic," I said thoughtfully.

"Not even then."

"I could speak only in Pig Latin."

He appeared to wade through this particular concept, one finger absently stroking his face. "I don't think you'll be doing much talking."

Did he really just say that? I turned my eyes toward the window and tried to let the surrounding darkness calm my nerves.

"By the way, Edward," I called after a while, reminded of an earlier question. "Where did you hide Emmett's arm?"

"In his glove compartment," he calmly responded. "I thought about donating it to an amputee clinic, but..."

I shook my head and asked another question that had been weighing on my mind. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see." His ambiguous reply floated to my ears.

"It's on this continent, right?" I asked, just to make sure.

"Yes," he sighed, "I made sure to keep to the borders of this country...just for you."

"Good," I breathed.

"We're almost there actually."

Edward slowed the car and flipped on a turn signal with one graceful flick. The tempo of my breathing increased, and suddenly, I wished he had decided to fly me somewhere on the opposite side of the globe in a rather fierce way.

_No_, my head ferociously reprimanded. I was a woman. Edward was a man. People had been doing this for thousands of years. There was nothing to be nervous about, or at least, that's what I told myself.

Ironically, as the acceleration decreased, my heartbeat increased to a mad thumping I could feel against my ribcage.

I watched the glowing silver speedometer ticking down the miles per hour. 25...15...10...5...stop. And with it, so too did my breathing.

Nobody moved for a moment as Edward and I sat silently in the car. The only noise was that of the engine powering down, a keening whine gradually fading into nothingness.

_Man, woman, thousands of years. Man, woman, thousands of years._

And then, in a flash, Edward was out of the vehicle and my door was open. Just as quickly, I was in his granite arms, bridal style.

_Man, woman, thousands of years. Man, woman, thousands of years._

I burrowed my nose into his shoulder, both trying to hide my flush and muffle my loud breathing. I longed to hear him say something; hear anything other than the methodical plodding of his shoes on concrete, taking me to who-knew-where.

For us both, this ocean we were about to dive into was uncharted waters, and neither one of us knew quite what to say.

_Man, woman, thousands of years..._ Who was I kidding? Knowledge I had on matters such as these equated to that of a bowling ball. In fact, the bowling ball probably knew more.

With no steady chant to stay the panic, my breathing picked up. My chest heaved against Edward's.

Suddenly, the calming metronome of his footsteps was replaced by the creak of an opening door. Then, he carried me across the threshold, but he didn't stop there. I felt myself being carried upward. Steps...upstairs...to, most likely, a bed. I gulped.

Golden light seeped under my eyelids. I opened them and looked around me for the first time. I was in a room the size of the first floor of normal houses. Set everywhere, in stands, on mahogany end tables, in tarnished bronze candelabras, were white candles. Something sparkling above me caught my eye, and I glanced up. Gasping, I noted a domed roof with a golden chandelier as the centerpiece. It was unlit, but the candlelight caught the crystals and sent rainbows dancing around the gently sloping walls. A part of me wanted to get up and dance with them, and I momentarily forgot about Edward.

The two greatest things about the room though were the view and the bed. Just like in Edward's room, a window stretched along the far wall. Out it loomed a full harvest moon and a drop that made my stomach do flip-flops. We were clearly at a high elevation. I could see the dark silhouettes of trees sweeping down the mountainside, and at the bottom of the valley, I saw a lake glittering in the moonlight.

The bed was no less grand as it looked like something out of a fairy tale. A white downy comforter embroidered with thin crimson and beige flowers covered its wide expanse. Pillows of every size and shape were stacked in an appealing pattern of red, gold, and black. The mahogany wood was etched with flowers on the headboard that unraveled along the sides in intertwined and curling vines. Four swirling posts stood at the corners, and drawn back on them with black satin ribbons, were curtains of golden mesh.

Edward tenderly set me down, and I realized as my feet touched the cold hardwood floor, that I had left my shoes in the floorboard of my Camaro.

Then, I remembered my reason for being here, and, in a reflex that had nothing to do with clumsiness, I stumbled. Edward caught me; hooking an arm around my waist and pulling me flush to him.

"Do you like it?" His words tickled my ear, and I shivered.

"Yes," I said shakily. "It's beautiful."

He parted my hair and placed one kiss at the base of my neck, and then another that was lower than the next. Then another and another until his cold lips reached the zipper of my dress. Deft fingers slowly pulled the tiny piece of metal downward. When I felt the gown starting to slip off my body, out of instinct, I grabbed it and held it to me.

Edward was in front of me before I could breathe again.

His hands tucked my hair behind my ears. He kissed my forehead, my eyelids, and finally my lips. It dawned on me then that he was waiting for me to let go. I shivered.

"You're still nervous," he whispered.

"Not about what you think." I didn't know where I'd found the wind to speak, but the words came all the same.

I reached up and laid my palm on his chest, where the lapel of his jacket overlapped his dress shirt. Quickly, as if he had read my mind, he shrugged off the jacket, and my eyes followed it to the floor.

"What then?" he asked, as his lips laid siege to my neck.

"I'm afraid...afraid...that," I stammered, "that you won't...won't like me."

His kisses abruptly stopped, and I wished I hadn't said anything. When he looked back at me, I averted my gaze. Soft as a rose petal, his fingers turned my chin back to him. His butterscotch orbs were brimming with concern.

"That's not possible, Bella." His voice had a rough quality to it that made me weak in the knees.

I took a deep, shuddering breath, closed my eyes, and let go of the dress. The fabric pooled around my feet, and I was left clothed in nothing but scant strips of midnight blue lace. I checked Edward's expression.

His eyes were dark and dizzy with passion as they scanned my form.

"Oh, Bella..." he whispered, and my airflow ceased.

Fingers skimmed my bare sides and I threw my head back, sighing. His restraint didn't last long.

Roughly, he pulled me to him and started kissing my chin. One hand cupped my breast. I moaned and leaned into it. His kisses fluttered down my body like butterfly wings, dipping in between my breasts. He dropped to his knees and softly kissed patterns into my stomach. My hands were gripping his shoulders just to keep steady. A moan escaped my lips and I gasped at how loud it was. My husband gave a dark, husky chuckle.

When he stood back up, I noticed that his shoes and shirt were missing. He was beautiful, glowing in the golden light.

The rest passed in a flurry. The bed gave easily under the weight of our bodies. We were naked. I couldn't tell where one of us began and the other ended. He asked me "Are you sure?" I nodded, and then, I was shouting his name.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Light was blinding me. I turned my waking eyes from it and snuggled into something hard, cold, and...laughing.

Excellent memories came flooding back. We had spent three days here in this mansion overlooking the valley, making up on a long overdue honeymoon. We left the room, the bed specifically, only when my stomach and personal hygiene demanded it of me.

I smiled and lazily stretched. The sheet slipped and slid off me, exposing my pale skin from the waist up. I left it there. I'd grown accustomed to being unclothed in Edward's presence over the past few days.

I turned into him, rested my cheek on his shoulder, and glanced up to his loving eyes. His hand languidly traced the curve of my spine.

The sound of a phone ringing sharply cut through our tranquillity. Edward reached down beside the bed and looked at his cell phone.

"Alice," I said. "That's the fourth time she's called. You should probably answer it."

He smiled at me and sighed. "You're probably right." He flipped open the phone and put it to his ear.

"Alice, what's so important?" he asked, irritation evident.

I watched though as his face paled, and his eyes shot me a terrified glance. He hung up without so much as a goodbye, and let the sleek, silver device fall to the hardwood with a clatter.

I cocked my head to the side. "What's wrong?"

His mouth opened and closed several times, but no words came out.

"Edward?" I asked again.

"I'm so sorry."

What did he have to be sorry about? "For what?"

"Bella...I..." he stuttered, and I wasn't so sure I wanted to hear anymore. "Bella, Charlie... Charlie's been murdered."

A/N: I have a purpose in killing Charlie, not like with Leah when I just needed someone to die. Charlie's death is going to make Bella realize something...change her so to speak. I couldn't put much in the first part. This fic is T rated after all. So, I modeled it off of those types of scenes I read in YA books. It mostly lets your mind do the work for you. I imagine Stephenie won't do much more than that.


	41. Chapter ThirtyFive ACTUALLY

Disclaimer: I bought the rights actually

**Disclaimer:** I bought the rights actually. Just yesterday. I found a million dollars on the side walk and thought to myself: "Myself, return it?" "Nah." "What then, myself?" "Buy Twilight of course, you pee brain!" Multiple personalities? No I don't. Yes I do. No I don't...

_**First, I updated my profile. And secondly, I have finally found a border I can live with IXIXIXI: I thought it looked like a fence. Thirdly, I adore you all. Really. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine this many reviews. Although I'd still like to reach 1000 by the end. (lesigh). But, hey! I'm not complaining. This is amazing. I'm awed...really. 44 for the last chapter... YOUR ALL AMAZING!**_

**Adrirod: Nice theory. Nice review. Maybe, maybe not. Hehe. Iknow something you don't know. I sang that in a singsong voice... NO MOM THE CAT IS NOT DYING. THANKS! IF you have any doubt of my gratitude, read above underlined text.**

**Catie: Although I never got your long review, the other was just peachy keen! Glad I make work bearable. Haha. Ya know, I've heard that a lot, about the shoutouts. Funny... THANKS!**

**Oliveexedwardxcullen: I tried to read your pen name, like how it's spelled, letter-by-letter. It took me around ten minutes to realise the OX's were spaces. And some people call me smart... BUT ANYWAY, thanks! You're awesome. **

**Buddahjo13: interesting name... hmmm... (strokes chin, whilst sipping tea) PINKIES OUT! Ahem...care for a spot of tea?? Appreciate the love, home skillet.**

**Fleeting thought: Addictive? Cool. I'm like cocaine that can get you high any time you want. Or...rather, whenever I update. This chapter, however is more like a suppresant... sadness abounds. Thank you so much!**

**Transfiguration: Glad you think so. Hmmm...maybe!**

**Hypergiggles: If she chucks it, she'll spend the rest of her IMORTAL life thinking about what would have happened IF. The if would eventually drive her insane, don't you think. Haha. you said sorry charlie. I'm like a three year old with a new dr. Suess book right now. I love rhyming. Ahem... "One fish two fish red fish blue fish. Black fish blue fish old fish new fish. This one has a little star. This one has a little car. Say, what a lot of fish there are!" Totally from memory, baby! They were like my kindergarten twilight I swear.**

**Djtlas: Don't die!! OR dye!! Unless you're going for a light teal green. Then I could live with that. Aye aye capytan! And thanks.**

**Cataclysmic101: Awwwwwwwwwwww... What else is there to say? That's just...golly gee I'm flattered. Well, shucks. CRAP! (pushing. Back. Southern. Roots!) There. Out of good ideas? Well, I'm not out. I actually have too many. Want some? But I don't know if they are neccessarily "good" either, so... I guess we'll see. Your welcome, but erm... thank you!**

**Distinguishedanguish: Mcflurrys? If I don't do smilecry I get a mcflurry? Now THATS what I call a tempting bribe! Choose for you? That seems rather silly. Even in my highschool, we chose. Yay! Almost there! Thanks!**

**Mirrorbay2000: YAY! Your tfmec's other betaee. If that's a word... Well, I held your attention through chapter four it seems. I do enjoy fluff. And wit. And giggles! Sheesh. I sound like a girly girl. I'm actually more of the nature variety, what with the nalgene bottles and the lifeisgood shirts. :D Thanks! Yeah, she told me bout yours, too. Ill get on it I swear! But Ive barely had time for this story.**

**Monkey: Charlie DID die for a reason. Have no fear! Or... do. I dunno. I'm tired of being mysterious. I'm just going to say bleh from now on. Thanks...and bleh...**

**Thegirlfromamestris1912: had it coming? Well, okay... actually, he did. From the very beginning. I sort of feel like a murderer. Sad day. Haha. bleh. Thanks!**

**Brigid: Joke? I don't joke. Haha. Okay i do, but not about EVERYTHING. I know. I know. I killed Charlie. Bleh. Im glad you liked that. Cause I approached it with extreme caution. And thanks!**

**Thefuturemrs.edwardcullen: you'll always be my megan! Wow. We sound strange... I had a thought. Ever wondered if Stephenie gets on here and reads some of these things. I mean, if I had a popular book, I'd so read my own fanfiction. Haha. Just wondering. Although, she probably has no time at all. Love you and all. Thanks for still reviewing!**

**Brigid: haha. I do love to make people laugh. Glad you enjoyed. Thanks!**

**Anon: Gee, thanks! (blush...blush) The whole rest of the story... is getting there. Lots of love! And thanks.**

**Dazzle.me.darling: MWUHAHAHA of course I am an evil turtle. They call me the TerriTurtle. It's like terrible and turtle mixed together in a blender. With strawberries...mmmmmmm.. . Oh sorry, where was I? Yes, charlie died. TerriTurtle strikes again! Yeah, 26 used to be a high. Now 32's a low. It's weird... Like being popular but NOBODY knows you. Thanks for reviewing! **

**Reshmi Solaris: hmmm... the TerriTurtle (see above review) is impervious to your incessant pleas! Jk...just wanted a chance to use the word incessant, really. Thanks, as always!**

**Angelfromhell: I'll tell you the rest of the plot right now. I'll set the scene. We find our two heroes in a Wal-Mart not far from Lebanon, Kansas, the geographical center of the USA. Bella, in a burst of insanity, grabs Herbel Essence shampoo off the shelf and steals it to a previously undisclosed location. (we've now learned that it was Jamaica). Edward comes for her, asking her "WHYYYYYY??", begging and pleading for her to return it. Bella declines, firmly statingthat luscious, volumous, luminous hair should be free! Like oxygen or something. So, Bella, in an act of desperation, shampoos Edward. Then, she shampoos president bush. And precedes to shampoo Dick Cheyney, Michael Jordan, and the old man off of Batman Begins. She's embarks on a mad shampooing frenzy across the globe! No one, woman or child, escapes from her soapy lather. Until, at last, Wal-mart security catch up to her in the Southern part of France... The End. And suddenly, I wish it were real... THANKS FOR THE SCENE UPDATE! Watched it. Loved it. You're like my source for twilight movie news.**

**Allyq1990: lol. Thank you. Unfortunately, it's neccessary.**

**Euphoria falls: IF your mind is in the gutter...then bowling balls will squash it if I go bowling...haha, but no really. Im a terrible bowler. He does want a harem indeed. He wears a robe and smokes a pipe like that playboy founder guy does. Although I don't approve, he is in llama years, of the legal age, so... sure. Send them over. Break my heart phillip some more, why don't you... THANK YOU!**

**Bronzehairedfreak1901: Were the caps neccessary. Meh, whatever. You can't please everyone. **

**Twilighter4ever: Me too... I mean, I have a direction of course, but sometimes, when I set out to go somewhere, I get sidetracked, and end up in a completely different place then where I meant to... hmmm... THANKS FOR THE REVIEW YOUR AWESOME!**

**The musings of artemis: Cool name! Exciting. Awwww...your review made me feel all warm and fuzzy and egotistical inside! Thanks! And by all means, "wow" all you want to. I say it like 499 times a day. I counted... THANKS! (again)**

**Thrushflightedward'sstalker: Good, clean smut. Oxymoron, much? Jacob? Haha. Don't worry then. I don't have to fear for my life. :D yay! You gave me points for killing charlie? Finally! I thought people were going to hate my guts. Well, you get 6005 points for reviewing every time...minus 100 for the first one... selfesteem damages and all. Plus 20 for the name changes. Plus the usual 5 for being a fellow twilighter. That leaves you with... 5, 930. :D You could get SUCH a cool prize at chucky cheeses!**

**Kkbear: You're amazing too! Haha. Man, I've said haha too much. But muchos gracias!**

**Audra laudargue: mhmm...sure, Audra...just keep thinking that. Haha...jk. Read angelfromhell's shoutout for a plot commentary. Thanks!**

**Mandja: Good thing you don't have to anymore, then, eh? I sound canadian, eh? Or that moose from brother bear, eh? Thanks.**

**Sobeida: I took a bit long. Guilty as charged for that one. D: but hey! Girl's gotta have fun. **

**Hibiscusqt: "gettin down". I just got this picture in my head of Bella saying "Yo Ed, you wanna get down?" and Edward goes "sure thing homeslice Bellawella. Will the kitchen table do?" AHHHHHH anyway. Choices, choices. I think that's going to be a theme. SHHH...dont tell. :D THANKS for being faithful till the end. Well, almost.**

**Dandylion0042: I was young and stupid then... all the way three months ago. Hehe. Glad you caught it. When I go back and revise and repost it (just to please my inner ocdness), I'll be sure to get that. Bella forgot it in the 'heat of passion', or whatever... thanks for the reviews, my friend.**

**Emberwillow: seven seconds? Exactly seven seconds? That's a pretty precise number. Did you use a stopwatch? Meh, don't forget prince caspian! Or, well, he doesn't have to fight. We can just keep him to look at him. Thanks.**

**Nobodyparticular: Thanks, as always, my tennesseean awesome person! **

**Melodycullen: lol. The question every one becomes manic depressed over... thanks for the awesomeness of your review!**

**Dulce Lee: haha. 'holy spit'! That's a new one. It made me giggle. I tend to do those twists rather a lot. Too much? Eh, who cares? Too much mary higgins clark in my diet. I do pratically eat them. They always say you should get more fiber... Thanks for the love! True. I took them twice. FINALLY got a 2030 with all three added together. How'd you do?**

**Sillyella: pshhh! Not IRONKIDS bread! What's wrong with you? Two slices is equal to a glass of milk, or so the plastic package says. Have you no scruples?! Ah, calm... okay, im better. Love that movie too. Laugh hysterically, then worry about my sanity. Although, that's how the cycle usually goes. Cruel... I am TerriTurtle!! Amphibian of the night! (thanks) bwahahaha!**

**Lovableloser: cool signature. Never did like MCR much. Some songs are awesome rockurpantsrightoffyou, and others are terrible. Couldn't ever decide. THANKS!**

**Marikaemmie: haha. Sorry. I thought Tibbins would help some... She's quite good with the crazies, I've heard. Ummm... Are you better now? You know... from your heartattack? Don't die. Erm, I sent flowers to the mental hospital. :D**

**SavannahX: OH I know. Excuse me, mrs. Meyer, but I didn't wait three years for a "and the next morning, they –" No siree, I did not! I won't stand for it! Haha. Yeah, been there. Read that. The host I mean. I liked it. Not quite loved. Alien is a bit too farfetched for my tastes. As opposed to vampires I know, right. Oh, and I caught you again. You tried to drop down from the ceiling on a string. Clever. But not clever enough. I had scissors, so you were doomed to failure. :D Thanks!**

**Jalice: It was ironic, wasn't it. Thanks. You're the best! I tried to stay clear of graphicness, and make it sweet and satisfying... ew. That sounds kind of weird in that context. Oh well. YAY!**

**Danisu20: Aw, thanks! What's with the number 7? You and two other people left me reviews were you did things 7 times... kind of creepy, if you ask me. But thanks again.**

**Kerssica: Your the coolest. Gettting to your pm, promise. But, erm, just so we're clear, I'm straight as a board. Yep! Men all the way. Haha. What I meant by that was who I hang out with. Guys and girls equally. I guess I misinterpretted your meaning. But, I think you'd laugh if you met me...for thinking that. Review time! Aw!! Thanks... Im blushing like a red idiot. That growl was kind of scary. I thought a lion had escaped from the zoo or something. Dang. Stupid fflaws, always trying to down on us simpletons and our morse code. Jeeze louis. LIVE BAND! Neccessary. Can we have Gavin Degraw?? I really love him. And Bon Jovi. Or some guy who sings bon jovi? Cause the real ones kind of old... and also, we must have a fountain... and a gazebo. How, exactly, are our brains to be transported... in pickle jars with formaldehyde?? Anywho, love the brainchip things. I want to callit a night. But i still have another page of reviews. That im very grateful for! But still... tiring stuff. Good luck at your version of wal-mart. Couldnt' begin to spell it's actual name. I'm from Tennessee! Haha. **

**MeyaRose: True. And it's so sad. They did a bit with it in the Sweet Far Thing. By libba bray. Read that if you haven't. And thanks.**

**Smile for life: okee dokee pokee!**

**Laurenbttwilightfan: I tried to hurry. This is like a 3, 900 word long chapter, soo... does that make upfor it? **

**SS: I feel like your penname abbreviation is a ship. And then I think of Titanic...jack, jack. Never let go! Oh boy! I was voted 'most likely to quote movies at odd intervals' senior year. Yeah i know. I did explain it kind offunny. The card should be one of the singing ones from halmark. Maybe elvis's "it'll be a blue christmas without you'. Something like that, so pluto knows he's missed. I don't mind rants. Rant away! and thanks.**

**Meelah: Yay, thanks for the selfesteem boost! THAT scene worked out better than I hoped. :D**

**Dazzled 26: hmmm...see angelfromhell's review shoutout. Haha. PLOT MUNGERERS ALL OF YOU! Not that I blame you. I do the same thing. It's funny though. Jacob... well I've pretty much got him asettled with his Mexican seniorita, so... probably not making a reappearnce. Just a small cameo or something.**

**Ol2bob: I was thinking about maybe writing scripts instead of books. Whatta ya think? They do seem to be caught up in a vicious cycle. THANKS hero! **

Chapter 35

"Wh…what?" I stammered. "No."

"I'm sorry."

"No!" I yelled. Edward looked stricken. "He can't," I murmured. I shook my head violently. How could Edward play such a cruel trick on me?

Edward didn't say anything, just lowered his eyes.

"Alice would've seen it…" Defenses, that's what I needed, anything to prove his clearly incorrect statement false.

"She wasn't expecting him until next week…"

"No." I cut him off. It hadn't happened. I would go back to Forks, and nothing would be different. "He's not dead."

"He is, Bella." Edward's quiet words tried to break down my fortress, but I wouldn't let them.

"Charlie's alive," I said.

Edward hung his head, looking for all the world like it had been _his_ father that had died. No. No. No. No. My father wasn't dead. I promptly shut down that dangerous line of thought.

"He's alive, right?" I asked to anyone, anyone at all who could say 'yes'.

Again, my husband remained speechless, a soft, pitying glow in the depths of his dark gold eyes.

I grabbed onto his shoulders and tried, to no avail, to shake the answer out of him. "Right?" As if from a distance, like I was watching and listening to myself from across the room, I heard panicked frenzy creep into my tone.

"Right?" I repeated, squeezing his shoulders.

From across the room, I saw my body start to shake.

When Edward spoke, his voice sounded broken, and it was not saying the words I wanted to hear. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head, over and over again, and whatever part of me was observing myself from a distance suddenly went careening across the room and slammed into my body. So did the pain. Edward would never lie to me, but still I tried to make him tell me it wasn't true.

"He's not dead," I said into his chest. "He's not dead!"

Edward's cautious arms encircled me, squeezing me to him as he rocked me. Then, I let go. I broke.

IXIXIXI

Five hours later, I'd cried all the water in my body out onto the shirt Edward had changed into, somehow without ever ceasing to hold me. I missed the mindless crying. I wanted to weep forever because at least the noise held back my thoughts.

Thinking about what had happened – that was the worst. I thought of talking with Charlie, the way he'd beamed about a fishing trip he was taking. Images played out in my head like films, images of him pulling out of the driveway in his police cruiser, images of his midnight checkups on me, images of him eating my burnt food with a smile…

I hiccupped. Edward's hand was still rubbing circles on my back.

"How?" I whispered.

Edward sighed. "It's not important." His voice was musical, seductive, persuasive…

"Tell me."

"Not yet."

My head shot up. I was tired of not saying what I thought. By God, I was worn out, and the voice inside of me that I normally repressed for being so rude and frank, came booming to the surface. "Don't try to decide what's best for me."

Edward's eyebrows lifted, and his mouth parted slightly. His hair, messy from the three straight days it spent lying on a pillow, fell into his face. He looked like the picture of innocence, and I almost stopped what I was going to say to him. But almost didn't quite cut it.

"You always try to decide what's best for me!" I continued, my voice reaching a higher octave. "Don't you remember what happened last time? You left, and it _killed_ me!"

A look of profound and deep anguish passed across his features, and I could've stopped then. But, I'd known that same pain. He'd brought it upon me. That voice screamed inside of my head to keep going.

"I walked around for months like a zombie. Waiting for you! I followed you into the forest when you left," I yelled, ignoring the torture in his expressions. "Sam Uley found me unconscious! Charlie tried to get me to see a shrink! He even tried to send me back to Florida!"

I heard Edward hiss, but I didn't look at him for fear that I would lose whatever sick, dark kind of victory I held now. The words poured out without consent, from raw, elemental emotion.

"I went through nearly a year of absolute Hell all because _you_ thought you knew what was best for me!"

Suddenly, I wasn't on top of Edward anymore. Edward was on top of me, straddling me. Something in between white fury and eternal sadness ignited in his eyes, and the flames they threw were blistering.

"I did it all for you!" he snarled, taking labored breaths in between every other word.

I wondered then, if he had snapped, too. Maybe I'd get my wish today – the one to see him lose control.

I was too stunned to snap back.

"Dammit, Bella. I truly apologize for wanting you to be safe and happy," he sneered.

Incoherently, the vague thought registered in my mind that he'd just cursed. Even more vaguely, I wondered where the self-guilt had gone. Maybe the five minutes of humanity had left more than memories.

"I love you more than anything else in the world!" he exclaimed.

"Then why didn't you stay?" I challenged.

"Because I didn't think that I could." The rage in his orbs disappeared, but not the sadness. "If I had killed you, did you ever stop to think about what that would have done to me?" He shook me so hard my teeth rattled. "I wouldn't have been able to bear it."

"You didn't know that, though! You wouldn't even take the chance that you wouldn't."

"Yes, Bella, the very off chance that I wouldn't."

I leaned up on my elbows, putting our faces closer together. "Why can't you just trust yourself?" then added, "I trust you."

"I'm not trustworthy," he whispered.

There was the self-doubt, back to rear its irritating head again.

"Yes," I said, kissing him on the corner of his lips. "You are. You've saved my life more times than I can count."

"But I put you there to begin with," he countered.

"Danger magnet," I reminded him.

He gestured to himself. "Apparently."

"You don't count."

He flashed me his brilliantly white, venom-coated, razor sharp teeth, and it was the best emotional balm in the entire world. "Don't I? You already established that I was a lion."

I flushed, embarrassed. "A housecat named Lion."

"Housecat?" He raised one eyebrow.

"I mean a vicious, guard housecat named Lion."

"I'm hardly tame," he huffed.

"Whatever you say," I said, nuzzling his neck. "I'm sorry." I couldn't believe that I had overreacted like that.

"Don't be," he said simply.

"Still am. When are we going back to…?" I was going to ask him when we were going back to Forks, but then I remembered what was waiting for me there: a dead father. The floor fell out from under me again.

The bubble of forgetfulness Edward and I created had given my tear ducts time to regroup. Thick drops came pouring forth from my eyes.

I wiggled my way out from under Edward and scrambled to find my clothes.

"Where are you going?"

"Charlie's," I whispered. "I have to see…" I had to make sure. It was so hard to believe here, miles away from the town. I ran into the mahogany chest of drawers and knocked over a burnt out candle.

Edward had let them burn themselves out. Wax dripped over the edge of all the brass holders like white stalactites. I looked back over at my husband. He was itching to stop me I could tell, but after the fight we'd just had, he'd thought better of it.

I wished then, that I could be inside of Edward's mind, to react the way he was, with a calm, cool detachment. I knew that it couldn't hurt him as much as it hurt me, but I still saw the pain in his eyes when Alice had told him. I wanted more than anything else to know his secret.

"How?" I asked again.

"The vampires from the battle…" he started, reluctantly from the sound of it. "Some stayed."

He didn't need to go into detail. I only nodded and continued throwing on every piece of clothing I could find. After I had put my clothes on, I ran out the door and down the long flight of curving steps, grabbed the Camaro keys off the table beside the door, and left without waiting for Edward. He followed though like I knew he would, silent as stone.

I needed to drive right now. I needed to do something to occupy my thoughts. As I stepped into the driver's seat, I saw Edward's resistance to this, too. It probably wasn't healthy to operate a vehicle with tear-blurred vision, but I really didn't care at this point.

I jammed the key into the ignition. The Camaro started with a roar. Backing out of the long driveway, I took one last look at the mansion. Its tall, smooth beige walls rose out of the rainforest. Windows sparkled in the dull light. It was my oasis in this desert of problems life had proven itself to be, and I suddenly wanted to switch gears and put the car in drive. I wanted to go back and never leave, but I stayed on the course I had chosen.

"The house is ours, you know," Edward murmured beside me. "Yours and mine."

For once, I was too exhausted to argue with him about the ridiculousness of buying this big a house for two people. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

IXIXIXI

The ride back was still and silent. The car barely made noise at all even. My thoughts, however, were loud enough.

They took me on a guilt trip, through black rage, utter depression, and I wondered then if Edward was going through the same thing. I held out my right hand to him, and he gently laced his fingers through mine, not once complaining about how I needed to keep my hands on the wheel.

He rubbed comforting, steady circles into the skin there. I tried to focus on that.

I was speeding. I didn't know why, but I was. I had to see. Maybe they were wrong. That tiny piece of hope gave me some ledge to grip. 'Maybe' was such a comforting concept.

I turned down the familiar street, pulling into the same old driveway I always had. Robotically, I lifted the door handle, pushed, and got out. Edward did the same, but I shook my head at him. I needed to do this alone...whatever _this_ was. It didn't even make sense.

I walked to the door. It was unlocked.

"Bella..." Edward called. "You shouldn't..."

"I have to," I whispered, and I knew he heard me.

He wasn't about to complain after I had all but attacked his emotions. Pangs of guilt went through me again, but I gritted the teeth and opened the door.

Inside, there wasn't anything different.

"Charlie," I called weakly. There was no answer.

"Charlie!"

Again, nothing. The small ledge of maybe I held to by one finger told me to check his room. Everything was still and quiet.

I walked up the quiet stairs. Quiet...that was everything now. Why did I insist on doing this? I didn't know. Something inside propelled me onward.

_Charlie. Charlie._ The house seemed to whisper the name with every breeze, every creak of the floorboards, and the whoosh of the ceiling fan. The tears came swiftly now, cascading down my cheeks ever so silently. Their plops on the floor spoke _Charlie_. I tried my best to ignore the house.

The door to Charlie's room was shut, barricaded by criss-crossing rows of crisp yellow tape. I tore it down vigorously. In my rampage, I ripped it to shreds. The vampires had come here. I guess I'd never considered that. _Charlie_ the ripping noises sounded like. I threw down the massacred pieces and wrenched open the door.

There, lying on his simple navy comforter was a half-opened brown suitcase. He'd been unpacking when _they'd_ come and taken, taken his... I couldn't finish the statement, not even in the privacy of my thoughts.

Memories that I realized I'd been holding at bay till now rushed through my mind in foaming rapids, the dam having burst. I saw what had happened: Charlie taking me out to eat the day I graduated, Charlie giving me away at my wedding... It grew into a wearisome list of "had been's".

The force of my pain brought me to my knees on the rough carpet. How could this have happened? _I_ was the danger magnet. Everyone else was supposed to be safe.

My father was dead! Unbidden, that statement stealthily seeped up over the edges of my conscious thought and invaded. He was gone. I'd never hear him walk around the house, never see him pull out of the driveway heading for some 'serious' police work. I'd never even gotten to say goodbye.

In my memory, I struggled to come up with how he looked, tried to memorize every little detail lest it should be lost forever. Maybe if I did that, then he wouldn't be so gone.

When I struggled with the little things, like the shape of his chin or the light in his eyes, I flung myself to the floor. I couldn't remember...

I couldn't remember. I couldn't remember... Frantically, I searched through my memories of him. There were so many things, so many things that I couldn't dredge up, like the sound of his laugh.

I pushed myself up on shaky arms and legs, then took hesitant steps toward the bed. I grabbed the first thing I saw out of the suitcase, a green T-shirt with lettering on the back, and brought it to my nose.

At least I could still smell him, I thought. He smelled sort of like shoe polish and pine trees. I closed my eyes and pretended like I was giving him a hug, something I wished I'd done more of.

But when I opened them, there was only me and an old shirt drenched in places with fresh tears. I started to fold it and place it neatly back into the suitcase, when I noticed something – a small, rectangular package in striped wrapping paper.

A tag dangled off the side of the cellophane bow. _To Bella and Edward_...

Our wedding gift from Charlie... we'd left in such a rush that he hadn't had a chance to give it to us. I put a hand over my mouth to muffle the sobs, but lifted up the happy package, so misplaced and macabre here.

The bed received me with a resistant groan, and my quaking fingers slowly opened the wrapping paper, starting with the flaps at the end. A white box slid out. I opened the lid and peered inside. A silver baby spoon and a piece of folded up paper lay inside. The spoon confused me at first, until the reason for its inclusion struck me. It was the 'something old' I was supposed to have received at my wedding.

Unfolding the paper, I could barely see. Tears had turned the world into a blurry hodgepodge. A smaller piece of paper was wrapped up inside the larger sheet – a check for twenty thousand dollars. I let it flutter to the ground at the four-letter word I saw on the larger document: 'deed'. I did a double take at the address. It was this one. Charlie had given Edward and I his house for after we graduated college.

Thinking back, I had noticed him going through residence ads in the newspaper.

In the next second, I had an ill-timed epiphany about sacrifices. Charlie had sacrificed everything for my happiness. True, he wasn't happy about it at first, but he bore it because marriage to Edward made _me_ truly happy. He gave up his house for us...

The vial in the back seat of my new car, forgotten these past few days, suddenly pulsed again, and I could feel it from here. _What made the other person truly happy..._

I thought I'd been making sacrifices to change for Edward, but really, that was the way that I wanted it, the way I longed for it to be. I craved the beauty, the loss of clumsiness, and the confidence that went with it. Edward had specifically told me time and time again of how he disapproved, and still I persisted, and now that I had his one wish for us, a human life together, what would I do with it?

I gritted my teeth together in raw determination. I had to tell Edward.

I stood from the bed and began to leave the room, when something in the corner caught my eye. Upon closer inspection, I noticed it was a pinkish stain. Then, as horrific truth sunk in, bile rose in my throat.

It was a _blood_stain that hadn't been properly cleaned up. I ran from the room and slammed the door close, letting the sobs rip violently from my throat. I sunk down against the wood to lie on the floor amid the shredded yellow tape.

How could this happen? It wasn't supposed to happen to him! Some part of me was hoping that any moment now, Charlie would walk through the front door and ask me how my day was, but the hope made it worse. I yelled in frustration.

"Edward." It was barely more than a whisper, but he was by my side the moment his name left my lips, picking me up and carrying me to my bedroom.

He murmured meaningless words of comfort into my hair as I drained myself of all water onto his chest. The front of his shirt was soaked through.

But no matter what he said, it wouldn't be all right. Charlie was gone, and he was never coming back. I cried myself hoarse till the sun came up, at which point blissful unconsciousness came to claim me.

**A/N: Things look hopeless! Desolate! The Sun will never shine again! Lucky me being author and all. Don't forget about the fat lady. She hasn't sung yet...**


	42. Chapter ThirtySix ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer: **I own my soul. My soul is Twilight. Mathematically, I own Twilight.

_THANKS! I only got thirty reviews. But then again, it's been two days, so I understand. I got hit with inspiration. Ms. Muse practically tore my door off its hinges, stormed through my living room, and knocked over all my furniture...so I had to write this. THANKS TFMEC, my beta, for doing an excellent job as usual, at such a fast rate!_

**The Musings of Artemis: Haha! I am omniscient. W-o-w. First time in the history of the world that I spelled that word write without microsoft drawing a squiggly red line under it for mispelling! Hoo rah! Ah, that fat lady. Maybe she'll get stuck in the door, and big men with oil kettles will try to grease her out of it. That should buy some time...**

**Angrypsychokel: Fanfiction and books in general are the only places you get praised for causing hysteria. Malls? Supermarkets? The ghetto? Hysteria gets you what? A fine! But not here!! LOVE you ffnet. And YOU angrypsychokel. Haha. Thanks.**

**Kerssica!: HAHA. I figured out it was you. You are now officially "the blank space also called kerssica"! tehe. PM! Shoot. I meant to do that this morning! Drat drat drat. Im an awful penpal. RIGHT after these reviewer shoutouts. I've been super busy. This time, with stuff I WANT to do! Your advice actually helped. That's a first. My friends suck. Well, not really, they're awesome! But at advice, they're terrible. FAT LADY DIES OF OBESITY!! Haha!! I laughed for hours. Operas everywhere would be devastated. SparkleEdwardSparkle! It's like Open Sesame (everytime Aladdin said that, I always thought of Chinese food)... Hmmmm... but, yeah. NO offense. I just laughed... haha SQUIRRELsexual. Actually I'm MONGOOSE sexual. If you know what I mean... (trails off into fantasy, mongoose filled world) If only Edward Cullen was a mongoose... Ah. Gazebos? How the heck do Dutch people not know what a gazebo is?! Geeze! Is all that cold making you crazy? And, no, you didn't make any sense per usual. But I'm starting to understand. IF I just read through it without analyzation, I can grasp the gist. So, yes, Chers, wind flavoring sounds great. Nice hand movements, btw! I saw you doing them in my head. :D Red and blonde? Hmmm... I bet you could make it work. I saw your pic on myspace. Now, I need to get one. Blasted internet. I tried to make one but the darn thing wouldnt let me! Cya later!**

**Dulce Lee: new lingo is the sugar in my tea. The cream in my coffee. The goldfish in my pond! Haha. Dont know what Im saying. Drat. I sound like a babbling baffoon! OR baboon... whichever. COOL! Standardized test scores. Yeah. You have a good weekend too.**

**Penombra magia: Haha. Well, golly gee shucks, I'm flattered! No, I dont really talk like that. Thank God. Im actually very Yankee for my southern roots. Emotional rollercoasters do seem to be my forte. Glad you liked.**

**MarikaEmmie: Really? I sent you lilacs, but I didn't know if you liked purple or not. Glad you did. Where's Tibbins btw? I sent him, but I don't know if he made it or not. Aw, thanks for the love!**

**XD: Gosh, LAZY! Nah, jk. Im slacking on my shoutouts today. Too excited. Too lacking on usable braincells. They've all gone nighty night...SEE?? Glad your bouncing, I guess. Like TIGGER!! Well, TTFN! Thanks.**

**Rose: Four in the morning? I recently stayed up reading a fic till then. Gosh, really does things to my social life. People are like why are you tired? And Im like reading! What's it to ya? And then they're like: ohOOOO! You're an enigma. And then I just shrug. The end. I guess that's good that you couldn't stop reading so you're forgiven for not reviewing any more. Author is my ultimate goal. That or screenwriter or journalist or SOMETHING that involves a pen in my hand. THANKS! I was touched!**

**Niaxxedward: Beg all you want to! MWUHAHAHAHA! Nah, jk, just wait and see!! :D and thanks.**

**OilovexedwardxcillenOx: Can't he?? (and thanks!)**

**Minilove4ever: She'll sing here in the next few chapters. I promise. ;) That, btw, was a winkie face. But sometimes they don't show up on the computer screen. So just...know that it was a winkie face. Imagine it if it's not there.**

**Meelah: Tradgic? I think you mean tragic, my darling. OMG. IM EDITING STUFF NOW!! (pulls hair out) Im sorry. I mean tradgic is fine. Im turning into my British grammar professor! GOD HELP US ALL! And thanks. :D**

**Djtlas: People always say that. 'didn't see that coming'. I thought I was rather obvious. Glad to be proven wrong!! Yay. I want to be a mysterious, twisty turny author. Only, more articulate than that. THANKS!**

**Xxconfuzzledxx: THANK YOU! Just because you were the first to actually say that. Everyone else is threatening to run me through with various household appliances if I do. Ah, sweet relief! Ly.**

**Thrushflightedwardsstalker: holy crap. We need a scoreboard or something. Seriously we do. And a calculator. Math was never my strong suit. You get 7336234763976 points for reading my story today. That leaves you with around 7336234765262 points in total. God it's sad. You're beating me. And I'm the gosh darned author! GO DR. SUESS!! That man is the cooliest.**

**Emberwillow14: Wishful thinking... haha. thanks, as always. You're awesome. Ly!! Sorry my shoutouts short. Im utterly exhausted.**

**Xxxbrokenxxx: And it keeps getting worse. Wait till you get to the end of this one! Thanks for reviewing.**

**Socialdistortionist: (lesigh) I have no tissues, so I'll ship you a shirt of mine. It has a panda on it. To cheer you up!! Pandas always cheer people up! Like KUNG FU PANDA! Which is awesome. Just look at the panda. All through this chapter, FOCUS ON THE PANDA! THANKS!!**

**Monkey: the liquid is just liquid. We don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. Well actually, trouble. That's what it is...trouble! haha. No, it's not charlie's blood. Thank you :D**

**Mandja: Wow pretty much says it all though, doesn't it? Haha. Thanks for the esteem boost!**

**Andirod: No joke, right! I mean, Charlie's house is nice and sentimental and all, but still. She would have to be a nutcase to give that up. And thanks!**

**Melodycullen: HAHA! Loved yoru review. I could almost see you saying it. You know how you form characters in your head from books. Well, I have a melody cullen in my head kind of like that. And it was funny watching her freak out, however creepy that is. My secret? Seriously... white chocolate mochas. I swear to God they have inspiration as a main ingredient. Quote me all you want, actually. If you think I mind, you are seriously mistaken. If that's egotistical, then I am. Quite frankly, I think this chapter is the best one I've ever written, so... see what you think...**

**Angelfromhell: OMG ANGEL!! You just hexed it. Im going to get writer's block, and it's all your fault! REVIEWERS UNITE! REVIEWERS GRAB PITCHFORKS! REVIEWERS ATTACK! Haha. Nah, jk, but it did make an amusing mental image. Actually, she lathered your hair while you slept...but it was vanilla. I'll tell her to go back... FIVE SECONDS LATER. Okay, she says she will. YAY! Excitement going crazy for the next chappie!**

**Dazzle.me.darling: It IS one of life's greatest mysteries. Like why duck's quacks don't echo! Yeah, it's like 65 on the list. Everyone's life kind of sucks right now, don't it. Haha. The fat lady says thanks. She'll be sure to.**

**Ol2bob: No joke. IT's about time she showed some inkling of a spine. That's all I want out of Breaking Dawn. Honestly. Jacob? Edward? Dont much care. As long as she stands up for herself. Although I do lean more team edward. I CANT WAIIITTT for midnight sun. Awww. Sorry for the ill timed update and all. Maybe this will be better?? But i doubt it. THANKS!**

**Euphoriafalls: Gosh, phillip at the playboy mansion would be like a ACD person after eating pounds of twizzlers: completely off the walls. Gross... llama porno. Don't want to think about it. As long as we warn all the girls. On second thought, they're all stupid bottle blondes. Let's let em suffer!! What is Skins btw? Have you seen Robbin Big?**

**Reshmi Solaris: Sort of like a change in events. A vote on Edward's mortality. Interesting...**

**MeyaRose: Yep... tragic I know. You remind me of a scrubs episode... can you guess which one?**

**Thegirlfromamestris1912: Yeah, I know. But you know dads. They want to THINK they're needed. She would have probably gotten it in the will anyway. IS that a terrible thing of me to say? I dont know.**

**SavannahX: I bet it's not bad. I'll review when you post some. I try to review my reviewers stuff. HOLY CRAP! You scared the shit out of me on that elevator! You blended right into the wall. I mean, I tried to press the numbers, and they felt oddly like someone's elbow. Apparently, your ticklish there though. It gave you away, and I busted through the wall with my bare hands and escaped. Clever though! But not clever enough! Bahahaha.**

Chapter 35

Home again, home again...

Edward drove the Volvo up the winding, white cement driveway, giving my hand a slight squeeze. I looked out the windshield.

It was the mansion we'd gone to on our honeymoon, sheltered from the wind by mountains, overlooking the same valley we'd looked out on fourteen years ago. The beige plastered walls looked warm and inviting.

The burgundy-tiled roof completed the warm look of the place.

Warm... that truly was the perfect description. Our house was like a flame in the cold, Forks weather. If you squinted your eyes, tilted your head, and looked at it from a distance – say, the opposing mountain peak Edward and I hiked to on odd weekends – it _did_ look like a fire.

The architect had taken his artistic license and used it unapolegetically for the house had many levels. Some rose up in twisting spires. Some jutted out at odd angles. Some stacked halfway on top of others like steps do. All, however, were covered in the same burning roof. The different planes made the image truly look like different levels of a giant bonfire, snapshotted and frozen in time.

Most days, the clouds above it could pass for smoke, the brown and green earth for the kindle, and the gleaming windows for flying sparks.

We were both so very proud of it. I didn't think I'd be one to enjoy decorating my home, but I did. Edward and I would shop at different antiques stores, looking for various things – a dark mahogany dresser; an oaken curio; a green paisley settee... whatever fit.

With the push of a button, the garage door opened, and Edward pulled the car in the spacious area, shutting the giant slab of metal behind him. It came down piece by piece, like an accordion.

He pecked me on the cheek before he stepped out.

"Mom?" asked Esme. She'd just turned eight last Tuesday.

"Mhmm, Essie?" I replied.

Edward had opened the door for Essie to get out, but she didn't, leaning over the seat, closer to me. Renee told me this was a phase. Soon, she'd jump at the chance to be away from me. 'My revenge' Renee had called it, laughing over the phone. It was then, that I would truly appreciate my own mother.

But for now, she leaned closer. I cherished it.

"Why doesn't Uncle Jasper ever hug me? Uncle Em always does."

I looked up. My eyes met Edward in a meaningful glance. We had just returned from 'dinner' at the Cullen's. Jasper still had not grown terribly comfortable. Essie's blood pulled at him strongly, and although I knew that he would never hurt her, he didn't trust himself, didn't take any chances.

"He's just shy, sweetie. He loves you."

"Oh," she said.

"He even got you a present."

Essie's face instantly lit up at this. I sighed. The Cullens were always showering her with gifts.

"Where is it?" she asked, sitting ramrod straight on the edge of the seat.

"Inside," I said, smirking.

She all but flew from the car. A little past Edward, she stumbled and tripped.

I ran around the other side to see if she was okay.

Edward, though, had already set her on her feet.

"Like mother, like daughter," he murmured, and I glared.

Louder then, he said to his daughter, "You've got to be more careful, Messy."

A grin tugged the corners of my lips. 'Messy' – that was Edward's nickname for her. Something in my heart went funny when I saw him pick her up into his arms and walk into the kitchen. It happened every time they were together.

He shot me a backward glance, and his eyes were the greenest green. I smiled and followed them into the house. Did I mention green was my favorite color?

Inside, Edward was making Essie a peanut butter and honey sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Should I make that too?" He gestured to the bread, and me.

"Sure," I said, and he returned to slathering golden honey over a slice.

"Mommy!" Essie cried, running to me. I knelt and opened my arms automatically. She giggled when I scooped her up and ran over to the couch, grabbing the remote and flipping on ABC.

We were nice and settled in; Essie curled up, her auburn hair spilling over my lap, when Edward delivered the sandwiches. She sat up and eagerly devoured hers.

"Chew with your mouth closed," Edward softly reprimanded. She did as she was told, blushing slightly, long lashes lowering over sparkling emerald eyes.

For himself, Edward had made Easy Mac. He closed his eyes as he forked it and ate. I knew that he was savoring it. Dinner for him usually took thirty minutes longer than it did for Essie and me.

Our daughter still propped up against my side, I rested my head against Edward's warm shoulder and watched him eat.

After several minutes, he took notice.

"What, may I ask, are you doing?"

"Payback," I said simply.

He chuckled, and it was dark and rich. His chest vibrated with it, and lines creased in the outer corners of his eyes.

Suddenly, all the colors, Essie's pale pink jumper, Edward's bronze hair, the beige walls, they all swirled together. The scene changed. The vertigo made me want to vomit.

I was dressed; head to toe, in black.

Essie stood beside me, older, much older. She must have been in her mid-twenties now.

Her auburn hair she'd cut off into a bob. Her green eyes were sparkling with tears.

I looked down at my arms. The skin there was thin and lined. Fifty-two, something told me. I was fifty-two years old, and I was a widow.

Tears cascaded down my cheeks when I realized that my husband, Edward Cullen, was dead.

"_Cancer," _the doctor had said_. "There's nothing we can do."_

The funeral was a simple one, nothing fancy.

The coffin was black and smooth. Bitter wind bit my face and sent my tears skittering away across my skin. But that couldn't stop them. Those tears were quickly replaced by fresh ones.

A wild desire caught me, a desire to lift the lid, to look at my husband's face and stand there looking at it until death came for _me_.

And since I could not stop for Death-

_He kindly stopped for me_

Emily Dickinson's famous lines ran through my mind like a mantra. 'Kindly' was the keyword. I wished fiercely that death would be kind to me, kind enough to take me back to Edward where I belonged.

I'd been told many times that this was just temporary, that I'd see him again. But, judging from the average life span for a woman nowadays, I still had fifty good years of time to kill. How could I possibly wait that long?

Alice came over to stand beside me. No one knew it was Alice but me, not even Essie.

Essie knew the Cullen's secret and knew to keep it, as well. The other people assembled though thought that the mysterious family had moved to Albuquerque.

A lady no one else could distinguish because of the thick black veil covering her face was crying tearless sobs onto a man's chest. Tearless, because the sobs belonged to Esme.

The man's shoulders would heave every so often, too. I was glad his down turned hat hid Carlisle's expression from my eyes.

Alice put a hand on my shoulder. The cold was oddly comforting. I wondered if she blamed me for her brother's death. I did...

My breathing quickened as they began lowering the coffin. I had only feet to go. I could open the lid and look at him one last time. All I had to do was move.

The black sunk deeper into the dark earth, and my heartbeat sped in panic. I'd never see him. I'd never see him. All it took was a word.

The coffin disappeared, but still I could do it.

A man in a gray coat grabbed a shovel and dumped the first clod of dirt over his coffin. It landed with a thud.

And it was too late...

IXIXIXI

I woke up screaming.

"Quiet, ducky," a slithering voice said.

"You!" I yelled at the three hags standing in my bedroom. I could barely make out their shapes. They blended in with the night. I must have slept all day. "Why did you give me that bottle?" I demanded.

Images of a black coffin still burned behind my eyes.

I looked over at Edward. His eyes were open, and he was perfectly still. He looked...dead.

I bent over him, shaking his stone shoulders.

"Wake up!" I yelled.

"He shall not," one squelched.

"Why! What did you do to him?"

"Frozen in time he now lies," the violin sounding one said.

Another finished on cue. "Heedless to your pleading cries."

Frozen. Not dead. Frozen.

"Take it back," I hissed, rising from the bed. "Take it away from me!"

"It cannot be undone," they chanted.

"You can stop time! You can reverse it, too!"

"We cannot."

"Please," I begged them.

"Make a choice nigh it's too late. Or his torment shall be great."

Far away, past the panic, I thought that they would make excellent poets.

I stepped back as another vision hit me, this one of simply Edward's onyx eyes.

It had been fifty years since he'd changed me, and finally I'd told him about the vial.

Betrayal. Outrage. Hurt. He raised a hand as if to hit me, but promptly clenched his hand into a fist and brought it back down to his side.

I was back in my bedroom again, standing before the three hags.

"Too late," they whispered again.

_It was too late..._ Edward. Stone dead in the ground.

I checked just to make sure he was still there, only breathing when my eyes affirmed that he indeed was.

"Choose," they whispered.

"I can't..."

"Your choice, it must be firmly made," one said.

"Within an hour, and with our aid,"

"The world will halt for you till then,"

"But bear in mind, it's just till Ten."

The last line they finished together. Wind, violin, and sledge came together in that same vile harmony. And then, they vanished without a trace.

Till ten... I glanced at the clock. 9:00 was displayed in red, archaic numbers.

I ran to Edward. He was looking at the ceiling, wide-eyed. His arm was still curved over where he had held me to his chest, the other hand draped casually over his heart.

I looked outside. Peering out my window, I saw a strange sight. A bird was caught in mid-air, brown wings outstretched. I could open my window and touch it if I wanted to.

I glanced back at the clock. It said 9:01 now. So, time hadn't stopped, just everyone around me.

I shook my head. This couldn't be real. This was something in books and movies. But then again, so were vampires.

Till ten o' clock. That's what the Fates had said. I was reminded suddenly of Cinderella.

I was stuck in a fairy tale. A sick, sick fairy tale that there seemed to be no way indefinitely out of. I left the room to check on Charlie. Halfway down the hall, I stopped.

Charlie was dead. Edward would die too if I told him about the vial, at only fifty-two years old, and a painful death at that.

Could I knowingly subject him to that?

I slunk down against the wall.

And Essie... if I didn't tell, she would never be born.

Was I, by not telling him, essentially killing her?

But, was I, by telling him, essentially killing him?

Either way, I would feel like a murderer. I'd either murder my daughter or murder my husband. That damned vial was so small, and yet it contained things that were so large: regret, death, loss, grief...

Choices. I never had been very decisive, especially when it involved big issues. And now, there was no one around to ask or help me. I was alone with my terrible choices.

**A/N: Alright, so out of all the chapters I've ever written, this one is my absolute fave. I... I don't know... really threw myself into it. How I know when I've written a good chapter... well, not good neccessarily, but that's the best adjective I can think of. Anyway, how I know is that at the end of it, I don't remember writing it. I swear it's like I go into a trance. Appreciate reviews, as always.**


	43. Chapter ThirtySeven ACTUALLY

_To All My Utterly Amazing Reviewers: Ho. Ly. Shiz. Zle. It's a good thing this is a reading program instead of an audio program, because I am stunned speechless. Speechless. Some of your reviews are just so breathtakingly sweet, and I love even the scary ones. THANK YOU SO MUCH for helping me get to a thousand. Erm, I've been gone, but I've been working on this chapter sparingly, FINALLY finishing it. I got 66 reviews though. If you all were corporeal, I'd send you all cakes. As it is, the only thing I can do is reviewer shoutouts. Sadly, I'm leaving again for a week. And I don't really have time. But, when I get back, I PROMISE to do this BIG HUGE GIGANTIC reviewer shoutout page! Kind of like those JCPenny's blowout sales? Yes, THAT big, where I'll probably write all of you a page in gratitude. Just, erm, W-O-W! Thanks again. I'm in total, complete, and undeserving awe. _

_Your Humble Writer,_

_Lily _

_Now, ON TO THE SHOW!_

Chapter 37

Death or death. I was stuck in a maze with just two paths, and a veracious Minotaur eagerly awaiting me down either, and try as I might, I couldn't see another way.

Essie. I loved her. I didn't even know her, and already I loved her.

Edward. I loved him. He would die at fifty-two. I couldn't bear it, especially with the knowledge.

As much as I tried to shake those visions, I couldn't.

I opened my eyes for the first time in fifteen minutes and stared out in front of me. I noticed, for the first time a black dot hovering just above my left knee.

Upon closer inspection, I discovered that it was a fly. Its spread translucent wings caught the light from the bathroom when I turned my head a certain way. Red, multifaceted eyes were wide and alien. I reached a finger up to touch its black body.

Envy caught me. I longed to be that fly then, as silly as that sounded. I longed to be frozen _with_ the rest of the world, as opposed to being mobile without it. Alone...

I had till ten. That left me about forty minutes to decide what to do with the vial. It wasn't fair. But then again, life rarely was.

I wondered what would happen to me should I fail to decide. Those fates, or whatever they were, were clever and magical. I answered my own question.

A lot. That's what could happen.

I wanted Edward more than ever, and that was saying something. I wanted him with me to help me choose. It was his future, too!

In fact, my choice would affect everyone.

_Death, death, death..._

Dammit! Couldn't anything just calm down? Couldn't Edward and I get a break just once?

_Death, death, death..._

It was too much to take. I screamed at the top of my lungs. Who'd hear me?

Why couldn't anyone _live_? Essie would die. Edward would die. Charlie was already dead. A strangled sob escaped my dry, cracked lips. Tears would have rolled out of my eyes, on the black paths the running mascara had made, but there just weren't any left.

I rubbed them and stood, making my way over to Charlie's door. Why couldn't he have lived? Why couldn't I give _him_ life?

I stopped mid step. My foot didn't even come down onto the plush carpet. What did that vial contain exactly? Life?

"_Start where they left off..."_

That's what the fates had said the vial would do to the drinker. They would start where they left off. Did that stand for everyone?

Edward, in technical terms, was dead. His heart no longer beat. Charlie, in very, very technical terms, was dead, and had the certificate to prove it. Would the vial work for him?

Essie... She'd still never live. Didn't she deserve to?

Would she still be born, just not to us? There were so many questions. Could she be mad at me for trying to bring my father back?

Could I do it without consulting Edward?

I'd asked myself enough questions. I needed to make a decision. The fates promised that Edward would be tortured if I hadn't decided in an hour, and I didn't doubt that threat for a moment.

The world felt too big for me, like shoes four sizes too large. Even so, I was forced to clunk and stumble around in them anyway.

Edward, though. He might be mad at me for giving it to Charlie, for throwing away his chance at life on someone whom had already had his.

I walked back into my bedroom where Edward was still lying on my bed in the exact same position. I could do it right now. I could give him his dream and turn him human. That's what I'd do.

Running, I went out to the unlocked car and pulled the vial from its hiding spot in the floral bag, then returned to Edward's side.

Paralyzed like everything else, I just stared at it for what could have been minutes. It glowed with an inner luminescence of its own, a liquid ruby. I popped the cork off the top, and red mist swirled above it in the air for a moment or so. Then, slowly, I lowered the edge to Edward's open lips. It came closer and closer.

"_Yes,"_ I thought I heard something whisper.

The glass rim was almost touching his bottom lip before I pulled away.

Images of Edward's sleek black coffin filled my mind. More, and even less welcome images of Edward writhing in pain as cancer consumed his body played out after.

But Charlie... I had a shot to get him his life back. He was too young to die anyway.

I would try to bring Charlie back.

Question after question knocked at the back door of my mind, but I wouldn't let them in. I stayed in my resolve. I'd face the consequences, whatever they might be.

I shoved the vial into my back pocket.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I whispered in his ear.

I thought I heard that same voice whisper menacingly, its disappointment strong, but I drowned it out, sure it was my own disappointment in my self starting to haunt me. But, selfish as it was, I couldn't bear the thought of loosing Edward in any way.

With firm, unusually non-clumsy steps, I stomped out of the house, grabbing the Camaro keys off the coffee table downstairs. Then, I stepped out into the oversized world.

I tried as hard as I could to fill it, to stretch and spread myself out and _make_ it fit me. If I could keep my determination steady, and forget my doubts, I almost felt like I could do it. So, I marched to the car, never once letting my thoughts waver from the ultimate goal.

The morgue in Forks was small – a small building for a small town and a small population. I knew how to find it though. I drove past the school I'd graduated from. All my memories there felt like they happened centuries ago.

I drove through a tunnel of thick old forest trees. They were silhouetted by the moonlight, their vines and reaching branches twisting around one another to form a black, random kind of lace. Or...a net.

I sped the car up to as fast as it would go. Not many vehicles were on the road at this hour, but I passed the ones that were. They were frozen, too, the people inside them snared in the middle of a telephone call or a sip of coffee.

Suddenly, the stark moonlit world shifted into something darker, and I glanced up at the sky. Clouds had covered the moon. Some things, I realized with a strange hope, were too big to stop.

Something large popped out in front of me, and I swerved to avoid it. I slammed my foot down on the brake out of shock. When the car stopped, I looked to see what had almost killed me.

Two objects were wrapped together and hovering off the ground.

I stepped out of the car and walked towards the objects. The echo of my footsteps was the only sound in this dead silence.

One of the objects was clearly a deer, and the other a human looking creature. Tentatively, I stepped closer. The short brown hair gave him away.

The human looking figure was Emmett, and the deer was his supper for tonight.

The clouds pulled out from under the moon, and I could see them more clearly. The deer's mouth was open, teeth clenched, eyes wide with terror. It appeared like it was screaming.

Emmett had wrapped his arms and legs around the animal's back, and had his teeth sunk into its neck. Strangely curious, I walked even closer. Something wet hit the back of my hand. I brought it up to my eyes and saw that it was a drop of the deer's blood that my hand had run into, suspended on its drop to the ground.

My gaze finally settled on Emmett's eyes. They were wild and ferocious. I backed up, stunned at his appearance. The deer looked more human than him. Was that what I would become? Of course it was. I shook my head. I knew what I was getting myself into. Still, it made nauseous to see a person I'd come to think of as a big brother out here, destroying an innocent animal.

"_Go back."_

I shook my head to try and get rid of the annoying whispers.

I practically sprinted back to the car and sped off, trying to ignore the voices telling me to turn the car around. They were making me shrink, and that couldn't happen. I had to be confident, or the world would swallow me.

I drove the rest of the way to the morgue without incident, parking in the middle of the parking lot. Who was around to give me a ticket anyway?

The morgue was a squat, gray building in the middle of nowhere. It was connected by a covered causeway to the larger funeral home.

I tried the door. It wasn't locked.

The room directly inside the door was as big as the whole building, just some leather chairs and a wooden desk with an old corded telephone on top.

The bodies, and Charlie, must be kept downstairs. Ignoring the fear in my gut, I walked toward the nearest door I saw. When I opened it, my suspicions were confirmed. It opened to a staircase leading down into pitch-blackness. I looked around the wall on the side of the stairs for a lightswitch. Unsuccessfully.

Gulping, I made my way down the flight of steps, down into the inky dark. My palm combed the wall for a switch all the way down, finally finding one at the bottom. I flipped it on and closed my eyes from the blinding fluorescent light.

Everything was silver and sterile and cold. Four silver tables had bodies covered in white sheets. More of the flat tables were folded up and stacked neatly in the corner. A long, bulky looking metal thing protruded out into the center of the room. A temperature gauge and other levers were on its side panel, so I figured that must be where bodies were cremated. I'd never considered that. What if Charlie had wanted to be burned.

I breathed deeply to try to calm my nerves, and regretted it instantly. A horrible odor stung my nose and made my eyes water. It smelled like too much of a terrible perfume. I held my nose with my fingers and breathed through my mouth. With a sick feeling, I realized that I'd have to lift up the sheets covering the bodies until I found Charlie's...if I found Charlie's.

I started with the corpse closest to me. I took a deep breath through my mouth and pulled the sheet down over its head. It wasn't Charlie. It was a woman, with white curly hair and wrinkled skin.

Choking back the bile, I pulled the sheet back over her head and moved on.

The next one wasn't Charlie. It was a man in his late fifties, with a bad burn stretching across the right side of his face. I cringed, not wanting to know what had happened.

The third body wasn't my dad, either. I didn't even have to look at the face. Its head was bald.

That left the fourth body. I walked over and pulled the sheet back.

Sure enough, it was my father's face. His eyes were closed, and his skin was paler than even the sheet he was covered by, but the hair and the bushy eyebrows were a dead giveaway. I cringed at the wording my thoughts choose.

I also recognized the crescent shaped marks at his neck. Not being able to handle it anymore, I sunk down on the freezing, tiled floor and trembled, letting the doubts and the fear consume me. The world was gigantic.

**Another A/N: So you think you know where this story is going? Do you, really? I seriously doubt it. :D THANKS once again. Especially, to my lovely beta, thefuturemrs.edwardcullen and kerssica for being splendiferous (have fun at the beach. I'm going to. You know what that means…). Oh, and another thing. I was looking back on my early chapters, and realized how much I've grown as a writer with this story, and how my style and grammar back then were ATROCIOUS. Also, there are two plot holes that don't add up that I need to fix. So, I'll be doing that throughout posting the rest. And as for the rest, seriously, brace yourself. **


	44. Chapter ThirtyEight ACTUALLY

Disclaimer: Ah, dissy

Disclaimer: Ah, dissy... My old friend. I'm back. Missed me? Feels like I'm filling out doctor's office forms. OF COURSE I don't own it. The brilliant Steph does.

_**A THOUSAND TIMES THANK YOU!**_

_**LET ME REITERATE WITH MINOR DEVIATION!**_

_**A XILLION TIMES THANK YOU! **_

_**Ill do regular reviewer shout outs now. For the previous chapter's reviews, I'll send you all reviewer replies. Pardon me if these are short. And excuse the pause. I've been a busy bee. Hardly a spare moment to my name. This chapter is LONGGGGG in gratitude. YAY! YOU GUYS MADE ME REACH 1000! I can now fall to my knees and scream at the top of my lungs "I have lived!!" THANK YOU AGAIN! Also, thanks to thefuturemrs.edwardcullen for betaing even though i was a jerk!**_

NakedNerdette: lol. I'm glad, 100 . Would that be like the Lion King 1 and a half. Hmmm...I have wondered what its like to read my own story and be surprised by myself. Maybe watching that movie will be akin?? Oh dear lord. I just used the word akin in everyday conversation.

**Brea: You're a newby... I think. Usually Im quick, but it's summer, and I go a mile a minute. Haha, that's okay. LOL! About having to reread the story. Why am I laughing at my own insult? Hmm... they always said you had to be crazy to write. Speaking of crazy, how are you? And, wish granted. **

**CatieCullen: Well, judging by the supply demand economic theory, pollution of our own planet has sent Mars price skyrocketing. However, you could purchase Pluto at a bargain price seeing as it has been taken off the market. It's a rather lovely place to build a summer home or so I'm told. **

**Amie: It heard you, and decided that it didn't like authority and wanted to be a rebel. But... FINALLY, it complied.**

**Transifuration: Prepare that faint heart of yours. Why thank you! **

**Jess: haha. REVISING is truly the key word. What can I say? I have the patience of a closed hospital. Haha. Get it? So, that's to blame for the fast pace. I like to get from a to b. 'Enjoying the ride' isn't my style. Give me teloportation dammit.**

**Skate fanatic 92: Aw, thanks a bunch. I have succeeded in my evil plan of addicting people I think. (and then bend them to my will and...) LEGASP! I've said too much.**

**Amie: Thanks so much for agreeing. I did do the whole 'indie' route when it came to plotline. Somebody pmed me once saying "Fairies? Are you serious??" And I said. "Vampires and werewolves? Are YOU serious??" But, I'm glad you like it. Chapter 38 is not just some dog you can order about! It has feelings too!! Insensitive reviewers... (jk)**

**Dawnismyenemy: So, I love you! Yes I do! I do I do I do (believe in fairies)! Stupid peter pan. Anyways, I'm praying for your dad. My owns not doing so good so I know how you feel. Heart problems... But, I don't see him as that. I see Charlie as Charlie. You might want to try, too. :D But, I'll pray for him. Erm, and chyeah Im a famous novelist! Who else could pull this off. All my 'I didn't have times'. What do you think I was doing. I shall not let your rosalie-takes-vial hope die...in vain. And if you do happen to steal a car, please take the one that stupid, idiotic bella left at the airport. Who's alex rider? You know what? I'll just resume this in your exceedingly, excessively long reviewer reply.**

**Decorissimus: Well, that's a mouthful. Aw, thanks. Read underlined, italicized, and bolded text if you doubt of my gratitude. I wrote it half jumping up and down. Why is this housecat trying to eat me alive?? **

**Lkmary: Well, this one is How you say? A doozy. You teach fifth graders? That's cool. Thanks. Those are the areas I really really tried to develop. Hmm... that reminds me of a rather popular game show. Well, thanks oodles! I really felt flattered, and all warm and fuzzy inside. :D**

**Nicole: As opposed to figuratively waiting for the next chapter to come out? Meh, please disregard me and my 3 am cranky rambling! :D:D:D:D Do those make up for it?haha. My muses are complete ditzes. They like to go on random vacations to Texas. It's not fair. Anyway, THANKS!**

**Kerssica: YAY! Just found your pm!! Love your pms! They're like stories, only better than stories. Like the most exciting biography ever written. Haha. Yeah, I guess I tuned that part out. I'm good at that. Something called selective hearing... or in this case, I guess selective reading. Tehehe. I met another guy... a 'connor' if you kno what I mean (nudge nudge)**

**Minimeyer: word attack alert! Haha. Chyeah, the meanest. Lol. Yes, yes I am insane. Haven't I established that...repeatedly? No, but really... I can get WAY TOO wrapped up in my own head. But thanks anyways! You're awesome.**

**Sarah811: Whoa. I bet that took you forever and a day. Um... I see you. You hunted and found me, and then poked me with a back scratcher repeatedly. So FINALLY I gave into your vicious torture. True. Sorry, I was thinking of the a equals b, b equals c, so a equals c theorem. Thanks for the tidbit. Deductive reasoning... cool. Once again, thanks.**

**Jalice14: fantasmagorical?? You and your fawesome imaginary words!! I love it. This was asap, so enjoy... or um... on second thought... maybe not. :D but thanks either way!**

**Shebnation: aw, thanks so much.There were so many positive adjectives in that sentence! Love you! Thanks for reviewing.**

**The Real Mrz. Black: Was "the real mrS. Black" already taken? Haha. Good job! Here, have your promised cookie. The famous guy was Ludwig van Beethoven. And, it was his lover, not his wife. But you still get a cookie because your awesome. Laurell Hamilton? Nope never heard of her. But she sounds like my kind of author. **

**Fleeting thought: Excitement is my middle name, dontcha know. **

**Vampygirl1901: Oh cool. I'll use my familiar, cliched, coined phrase, AHEM: you're all blue and underlined now! Welcome to the club. It's the BAUC, and we meet twice a week in Turkey. Yes, we have that many people that we have to occupy a whole country. Haha. yes, even i would have to agree that an imaginary pinto bean friend would be weird... not that I had one or anythign... his name was Atticus, okay! No black eyed pees in texas? Remind me never to live there.**

**Aliya Regatti: Hmmm... find out after this short commercial break.**

**Reshmi Solaris: Poor everyone! I know, right? Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. Watch me typing like I don't already know. **

**Dijurido: Glad I've put you through the emotional ringer I suppose. Thanks!!**

**Anon: Pshhh. I know what I'd do. Say "Listen Edward, this vial contains humanity." And then 'accidentally' toss it in front of a fast moving tractor trailer. "Whoopsa daisy! I guess you'll have to change me so we can live happily ever after together!" But, I'm not Bella. And i have to stay true to character and all that jazz. Haha. Do you have an Edward Cullen, too?**

**Twilighter4lifenomatterwhat: You people and your long pen names. Can't you just choose something simple, like 'tar'. Seriously. There are a myriad of three lettered words out there!! Hehe. Jk. I like it. It's intense. W-o-w. I can't believe you just said i BEAT jk. I mean, I've heard ALMOST, but never beat. Wow. Wow. Wow. I'm stunned speechless. I try to read my reviewers fanfics, but I seem to be long in mileage and short on time, if you know what I mean.**

**XXSocialDistortionistXx: I took time to capitalize the x's to make up for my vacationing. Lol. Sorry. Had to relax sometime. Although my friends laughed at me when I scribbled down thoughts on random bits of paper. Not about this story though. About an original over on fiction press. AW!! Thanks. I'll tell you why I love your reviews. You ALWAYS use different adjectives. And you review loyally, and you leave in depth reviews, not "I liked it" even though I like those too those who do that!! Phew. Anyway, you always sign out. Which is cool. And you make me blush!! No one can make me blush. My ex bf tried to for a straight hour one time. So, what I'm trying to say is thanks!**

**Loie: Tear apart? That's not good. Nothing a little duct tape can't fix though! Thanks for noticing my improvement. I tried my best! Haha. Now I just have to go back and fix all the previous chapters. (from like 25 back) Good grief, it took me twenty-five chapters to be remotely considered as good. Anyway, I do want to write novels actually, so maybe you'll read my book one day, but you won't know I wrote it. ;) **

**Emberwillow14: I hope you braced yourself good and hard... (insert littleknown lion king song "Be prepared!")**

**Monkey: Thanks! Me too. Thrilled actually. I sort of feel vain, but hey, I'm only human. (shrugs) haha. Sorry I ruined that for you. Would a song make up for it? You need to join the BAUC (blue and underlined club) soon.**

**Luvnlivn: Hooked like a small mouthed bass... I like the similes. Can you tell? **

**Dazzle me darling: Well, you always were the perceptive one. I do enjoy reading your speculations though. I must say, with this one, NONE of you guessed correctly. Haha. Hold on while I bask in the deaththreatlessness for a moment... okay, basking over. Thanks!**

**Penombra-Magia: Yep, sorry bout the wait my friend. Oh, and I'm not just trying. Apparently, I'm succeeding. It's like killing someone without ever seeing, meeting them OR using a weapon of any sort. Sure hope massmurdering tyrants don't get a hold of fanfiction! (dun dun dun) **

**MelodyCullen: Sorry. But hey, as for the insanity, now you're more on my level! Yay! I have friends! Jk. I have friends, and in an ironic twist, they're all very sane. Haha. I liked your review because it was like reading a train of thought or something. Twists? Me? (legasp) never!! Why would I do a thing like that? I hate cliffhangers, too. **

**Silly Ella: YAY! YOU ARE SO SUPER DUPER DUPER DUPER AWESOME! You 1000****th**** reviewer you. Darn, I wish I were a privately owned restaurant, so I could give you a free FEAST! How's this? I dedicate this chapter to you. Like I said, NONE of you, not a single one guessed right. No one quite matches my level of insanity I think. I did have fun, btw! I petted a dolphin!! **

**Lovablelozer: Prepare yourself to go speechless again. If you have something you really want to say, than I suggest you write it down on an index card beforehand. Yay, I guess we both had fun! Forget about you? Never!**

**Dandylion0042: haha. Like I said, may massmurdering tyrants never find fanfiction. Half the world would drop down dead.**

**MarikaEmmie: lol. Alice much? You don't have a jcpennys in canada?? YOU SICK PEOPLE! Yay! Tibbins always was loveable, even as a little kitty. He has the cutest little whiskers.**

**EdwardXD: To save time, go ahead and stand on your toes now. K? K. And thanks! **

**Alliee-lovee: Short, sweet, to the point. I like you.**

**Adrirod: What level is that? Lol. Well, wish granted. Skip past the bolded text and READ! Read like you've never read before!**

**XOilovexedwardxcullenOx: hmmm... Speculations are fun to read, especially when they're dead wrong. Read on, dear reviewer, read on! Yeah, I thought that, too. It'd make a cool scene in a movie, I do think. **

**BVFFE: You're telling me! I haven't found a cure for my writeritis. Although sleeping pills may do it. My writings like clockwork I swear. Inspiration hits at midnight, and i spend the better part of my mornings typing away. Good thing I have boundless energy or it would really put a damper on my social life.**

**Hypergiggles: Yes. I know, I know. She TOUCHED the butt. Erm, i mean fly. FINDING NEMO GET...OUT...OF MY...HEAD! yummy. Food dreams. I'll have to have one of those someday. The fates are more neutral, noman's land kind of thing. Anyway, thanks.**

**EclipseFan: You haven't even hit the confusion epitome yet. I'll try my best to get you there, and then have one simple answer that absolutely explains everything. Thanks for the love, home dog.**

**Euphoria falls: hmmm.. Im trying to picture your haircut. Shhh... they're a secret, but I meant to call the faeries the Malinaught (a name I made up dang it!), but forgot. And Edward's touch was hot in chapter two when it should have been cold. I suck I know. Phillip? What can I say? It's like paris hilton times a hundred. I got sick of going into his stall because I always came out permanently disturbed, so i built a slit that I could slide food into. Anyone want a baby llama? They're everywhere.**

**Roughdraft525: HAHAHA! I do wish someone would write a story about Edward and Bella getting a pet tortoise. How bout you? If I could, I'd probably pay you for it. Thanks. I did have a safe trip, as proven by this. **

**Jasmine: lol. So I've heard. But thanks for the love! Mucho appreciato.**

**Minilove4ever: Your carlisle? I think not. And, don't die. I'm sick of my reviewers dying on me! Good grief! Do you people even KNOW how much a funeral costs these days? Get life insurance puh lease. Jkjkjkjk. Thanks!**

**Smile for life: lol, intense theme song review, I love it! **

**Sapphire2288: I wish I'd gotten your warning earlier. I lost both my eyes to seagulls. I'm typing this in braile... **

**Savannahx: Well, you were LUKEWARM on the hotandcold game of guessing what was to happen next. Yay. Lovin the lack of death threats here! Evil laugh track... you know just how to get to me.**

**Meyarose: (long, overdrawn sigh) You and your stupid thought invoking reviews. I can't tell if you were being serious or sarcastic. Are you sitting there bolting things to the floor so you can't topple them over when you run around in shock, or are you rolling your eyes? ELLIPSES, YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME!! **

**Ol2bob: whoa... that seems to be a theme in this story. Or i guess it's more of a motif. Yeah, definitely a motif. Anyway, thanks again hero!**

**XXxbrokenxXx: Tell me in your next review if your guess was anywhere close to correct? Just out of curiousity. You didn't openly speculate, soo... THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**Nobodyparticular: COOL! Haha. thanks buhhhhddy!**

**Edwardazzlesme: Excitement, good. Sorry. This islike the fiftiith one. I'm out of steam andor care for grammar and spelling. Maybe ill strt usin txt spk. Thnx**

**Dazzled26: tred. Tlking in txt spk. Lol. Prbly 4 the better. I made fn of ppl who got it wrng. Thnx agn.**

**Mandja: thts btter than me. I cnt even type hole sentnces.**

**Laurenbttwilightfan: not ANOTHER death. JEEZE stp dyin.**

Chapter 38. Finally.

On shaking legs, I stood and faced the music.

I was being, for lack of a better word, a baby.

I came here to execute a choice, and by God that's what I'd do.

I choked the bile in my throat back, its acrid taste burning my tongue, when I looked at my dead father's face. I threw a glance at the shining red bottle. It was so small. How could it change my life forever?

The luminosity of it sent ruby motes of light skipping across the ceiling even though the room was fluorescent, doctor's office bright.

I tilted it to the side some, and the bits of refraction scattered other ways. Those bits were the only color in this dull room. I was ruining the black and whiteness of the place with my color.

I popped the cork off the bottle for the second time tonight, and lowered it to the lips of a different person.

From the shadows in the corners of the mortuary, I heard terrifying whispers, demands for me to stop, but I didn't. Come what may, I had chosen, and if I wavered now, I'd never do anything about it until time ran out. Then Edward would suffer, and that was unacceptable.

Charlie's pale mouth was slightly parted, almost like he was nearly about to greet me. In a few minutes, maybe he would.

I closed my eyes and tipped the bottle over.

When the rancid smell hit my nose, I knew that things had gone terribly, terribly wrong.

XXX

Unwilling eyes opened to the foul smelling air and looked upon the source. I wasn't prepared for what I saw.

I never could have been.

Charlie wasn't waking up. He was melting.

His lips were gone, leaving charred and blackened flesh in their place. The paper-white skin of his throat was sinking in some places, eventually disappearing altogether, leaving gruesome black holes. I could see his teeth slowly decaying into nothing. And the skin around his mouth was nearly gone, hanging in loose flaps against stark white bone I could suddenly see.

I gripped the gurney, leaned over the edge, and threw up anything and everything I had in me.

What had gone wrong? It was as if that vial had contained acid.

I stumbled. In righting myself, my gaze accidentally went to Charlie again. The burns and melting were spreading out. Already where his mouth had been, there was just a hole. I could see the silver of the table he lay on through it.

Now, I noticed that his nose was being eaten by the vicious liquid, and that his throat was sunk in.

I turned away and tried to vomit again, but nothing came up. This was twisted and sick, and I could not stand to be in the same room. The wide fluorescent bulbs above me started flickering, the whispers in the secret edges of the room growing louder. I turned on my heels and ran.

There were shocked tears streaming down my face. I was dizzy. The room looked like it was spinning, but I couldn't faint here. I couldn't wake up to this.

When I reached the bottom of the staircase, the door above me slammed shut. I flew up the steps, taking three or four at a time, and tried to leave, but the door was locked.

Frantically, I jiggled the handle and banged on the door. I thought I heard someone screaming for help, until I figured out that that someone was me.

"Bravo," came a sickeningly familiar voice from below me. Slow applause ensued.

I froze, too afraid to move.

"Quite a show you put on. I would have so enjoyed another better, though."

That voice again… it couldn't be. I had gone mad.

"You know the one I speak of don't you. Imagine what that liquid would have done to Edward dearest." Sick chuckling floated up. "Now be a good girl, and come down those stairs."

Edward… I was a second away from making him drink the contents of that vial. My body shuddered involuntarily.

I slowly walked back down the steps, for no other reason than to prove to myself that I was imagining things. Being certifiably mental was the better scenario right now. I'd take that over this being real.

"Atta' girl," his voice taunted when I stepped off the last step, still keeping my eyes downcast.

When they looked up, they saw my worst nightmare.

Josius was standing in front of Charlie's gurney, staring at what remained of my father the way a small child would look at a new toy.

I was paralyzed. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. I could scarcely think. The only word I uttered was "no" over and over again.

I shook my head and denied it. Josius…_no!_

_He doesn't exist. Edward killed him. This isn't real._

"No, no, no, no. No! You're not real," I heard myself pitifully say.

Josius tsked and began approaching me. I backed up till my spine was against the cold cinder block wall.

Still, he kept moving towards me.

"Stop!" I screamed. Josius didn't exist. There was nothing walking towards me. I'd wake up from this nightmare in Edward's strong arms, and then he would kiss all the memories of this hellish dream away.

My screams didn't wake me up, and Josius didn't stop approaching.

He stopped close to me. His sharp, hawk-like, terrifying beauty paused inches from my face, and in a flash as quick as lightning, his hands flew up to pound the wall on either side of me.

Dust from the twin holes he'd punched flew into my eyes and made them water, but I didn't dare blink.

A tress of ink black hair fell into his white face.

His burgundy eyes darted to it. "Mind getting that for me love?"

I stayed where I was.

"You'll live longer if you do," he taunted, like one would taunt a kid with a candy bar.

My quaking fingers reached up and pushed the lock behind his ear.

He smirked and leaned in closer. "Slow or quick?" he asked.

I stared at him wide-eyed.

"Ah, let me further explain," he continued. "About your death: would you prefer it slow or quick?"

His burgundy eyes burned deeply.

"Slow then," he chuckled.

And then, he was gone. I looked around for him, but it was like he had vanished into thin air.

The door was suddenly thrown down the steps, and Edward came barreling down it, bypassing me and going to stand by a counter, looking like he was prepared to fight.

Without thinking, I ran for him, throwing myself at him.

To my utter horror, I passed through him, like he was nothing but a spider web. The next thing I felt were sharp pains all across the front of my torso.

Hissing, I heaved myself off the counter I'd fallen on and looked at what I had unexpectedly landed upon.

They were sterling tools and syringes. Knives and sharp skin-tearing instruments were arranged there, some upturned. Those were what had impaled me. I glanced down at my chest, and noted that my white shirt was now dotted with red spots. A needle remained embedded near my sternum. I removed it quickly, and then dropped to the floor.

I had to be crazy. And if Edward wasn't real, I noted with some relief, and then neither was Josius. Anyway, the door was open now.

I made a dash for it again, finding it funny that I could not seem to locate the door that had been thrown down. When I reached the bottom step, I looked up to find the door in place on its hinges. It looked just as before, locked and impertinent.

My shaking increased.

Clapping sounded behind me again, and sobs erupted from my chest.

Josius was behind me again, applauding. I ran at him, too. None of this was real.

This time though, I didn't pass through him. I hit him squarely, and it was like hitting a brick wall.

Josius caught me in unfamiliar frigid arms.

"Really Bella, you make my job too simple, falling for my little mind games. You're practically killing yourself."

I thought I heard a double meaning in his last phrase.

I pushed and struggled against him. He laughed all the while.

"I thought…I was safe inside my mind," I whimpered to no one.

Josius laughed outright. "You thought wrong."

All of a sudden, Josius' cold arms transformed into warm ones. Jacob's face loomed above me. I cried louder and struggled harder, desperately hoping to wake up.

"Let go!" I cried.

"Aw Bells. I love you." Jacob laughed. It was rich and warm, like the sunshine he always was to me.

"You're not real!" I screamed.

He laughed again. "Of course I'm real. I'm standing right here."

I looked at my surroundings. They had dimmed, but I could make out the outlines of the objects from the morgue.

"No you're not. Stop it," I whispered.

"I love you."

"Shut up!"

"I love you," he repeated, before his mouth claimed mine.

I pushed against him, but it was no use. Warm, unwelcome lips moved against mine.

For a moment, I tried to convince myself it was real, because even _that_ would have been better. But, when Jacob's warm lips turned into something cold, I was abruptly pulled back to bloodcurdling reality.

My eyes shot open, to meet burgundy ones, but these eyes were not Josius'. I screamed when I saw James holding me.

"We never did get to complete our video, Bella," he said.

I closed my eyes tight and shook my head, wanting to faint and black out, but failing miserably. I struggled harder.

"Bella, wake up," Edward's soothing voice said to me. "Why are you fighting me?"

My eyes shot open. Finally, at long last, I had awoken. I smiled wide when I saw the topaz of Edward's eyes.

"Shhh," he said, stroking the side of my face.

"Why am I standing up?" I asked. It was a bit funny, but maybe I had been sleepwalking.

"Shhh. I want to show you something."

I sighed. "Okay."

"Close your eyes."

I did so.

I walked where he led me.

"Open them, Bella," he cooed.

I did, only to find myself staring down at Charlie's mangled face again. I tried to turn my head away, but Edward's hands stopped me.

"What is this?" he demanded.

I blinked tears out of my eyes. "It was an accident!"

But then the hard truth hit me. I hadn't woken up. I was still in the morgue, trapped with Josius and his mind warping.

I could practically hear the coils of my brain unraveling. Any more of this and I would go crazy, no doubt about it.

"Please stop," I managed to squeak.

He let me go, and I put my hands out to stop myself from falling on what was left of my dad. I wanted to cry for forever, and pull my hair out. The desire to simply die was slowly overtaking me as well.

I turned sharply to find Josius glaring at me with an amused look.

"What about the fates?" I demanded, drawing courage from my hopelessness.

Josius laughed again. "My dear, I _am_ the fates!"

And with those words, he transformed into three old hags cloaked in night, tall and demanding.

"But…but," I sputtered. "Mexico…"

The left one squeaked out in the familiar violin voice, "I could have killed you any day, but games much more fun to play."

The two outer hags moved into the middle one, until they morphed into Josius once more.

"Never did care for the Fae much. Beat me too many times. So, I used you to, shall we say, kill two birds with one stone. You're the stone of course," he added. "You would defeat the Fae which was great fun to watch, and then you would make Edward suffer." He glanced at Charlie.

"Sadly," he continued, "you failed to complete the last part. And to think! I would have so enjoyed your guilt-induced suicide."

He sighed then, and I lurched, nauseated.

In a pathetic frenzy for revenge and survival, I grabbed the nearest object, a scalpel, and ran at my tormenter. I passed through him again, and got the funny feeling that I was falling through a spider web, before crashing into the concrete wall. My shoulder hit first, followed by the side of my head. A pain shot through my arm, and I felt slightly more lightheaded.

With my luck, the scalpel had slipped and left a deep gash on my wrist. The blood made me want to gag. I gripped it tight to try and stop the bleeding before turning back to Josius. If I was going to die here, I'd die with answers.

"How did you stop everything?"

He tapped his temple.

Mind control…

Even in my shocked state, I could see that something didn't add up. Josius' mind control hadn't worked on me before, and if he was really this powerful, why didn't he show it then. Also, I was bleeding profusely now, and he didn't even appear to be phased by it.

"You're not Josius."

The figure that looked like Josius gave a quick laugh and transformed into the fairy leader, the one with jet black hair that fell to his lower back. I couldn't think of his name right now. "You are correct, milady."

The otherworldly being bowed low. This made much more sense. Jasper had said that the fairies were good at illusions.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I demanded, my vision starting to go hazy.

"No fun that way," he said cheerfully.

"Edward will come. He's only frozen till ten o' clock."

The leader shrugged and hopped up on an unoccupied gurney. "You'll be dead by then. Just look at your arm."

"But…" I stuttered, "You're not supposed to be able to hurt anybody."

"That's the unadulterated beauty of it all!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands together, "I _didn't_. You killed yourself."

I let that sink in, before laughing mirthlessly. He was right. If I had just stood still and waited for Edward, I would have walked out of this alive and possibly mostly sane, but now Edward would come here only to find me dead, like everyone else in this place.

"But… but you told me how to beat you! In Mexico!"

The fairy frowned. "No. Those were the _Cinniúint_. I do portray them rather well, though, don't I?" He laughed at some inside joke.

The world spun again. Cinnuint? He must mean the hags…fates…whatever they were.

"In your hospital room, remember?" he prompted. "And tonight."

"But the visions…" I croaked weakly. "The one about Essie, and Edward dying of cancer."

"Cancer?" the Fae asked, before quickly pulling a mask over his oily orbs.

My brows pulled together. "You didn't show me that."

"Of course I did," the Fae said, but the words came out much too quickly.

I sat up straighter at this small victory. That particular vision was the one that had saved Edward from a terrible fate, and if he hadn't showed it to me, who had?

"Damn _Cinniúint_," the fairy muttered under his breath.

I smiled a little. Those hags had saved Edward by showing me that 'future'. I couldn't ask for much more than that. I was dying. I knew that my death would soon elicit Edward's own, and I couldn't help but simultaneously be sorrowful and happy about that.

I was happy only because I wouldn't have to be parted from him for long. When it came down to Edward, I was selfish.

Still, I wanted eternity with him in a different, much less brutal way.

The Fae in front of me shifted back into Edward easily, like he was changing clothes.

I whimpered and looked away. "Don't do that please."

Much to my surprise, when I looked back, the fairy was back to his black haired, tall, oily-eyed, perfect self. I doubted it was out of pity.

From the look in his eyes, he was simply bored.

If only I could remember his name… Then, I could order him to heal me. 'F' was the first letter I was sure, but I couldn't get my thoughts straight. It was strange to think how much the small things actually mattered.

The small vial drove me insane, a small jump off a cliff nearly cost my husband his life, and now something as small and as simple as a name could save mine. My stupidity and memory deficit truly were going to be the death of me.

I slumped against the wall as the world grew darker and darker.

"Findhabair!" I heard something yell, but it sounded distant, and my eyelids were leaden.

Findhabair… so that was the name. I struggled to say it. My mouth opened, but words didn't come out. I was too far away, drifting in some sort of painless peace.

The last thing I heard was a whisper in my ear. "Revenge, m'dear, is best served cold anyway."

Then, it was quiet.

XXX

The peace didn't last for long. Soon, I was back in the morgue. Findhabair was torturing me again, morphing into my enemies and the people I loved, and all the while Charlie's corrupted face flashed before my eyes. I was back in Hell.

"Bella, please wake up!" Edward's voice pleaded with me.

I wouldn't fall for that again.

"Open your eyes."

My fists reached up to hit anything they could.

"Stop fighting me," the voice coaxed, but it wasn't really Edward's voice.

I suddenly lamented the fact that I hadn't perished already. Good grief, how long does it take to die?

I opened my eyes, and continued to struggle and writhe. In this illusion, we were 'on Edward's bed', and 'Edward' was over top of me stroking my face gently. I knew though that it wouldn't last.

"Just kill me already," I whispered, beseeching whoever it was that was over me to end my suffering.

The hurt in Edward's darkened eyes was almost believable.

"It won't be fun anymore because I'm going to stop fighting," I tried to convince the creature. I lowered my hands, unfisted them, and folded them across my stomach.

"Please," I croaked. "I'm begging you."

I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

Several minutes of waiting for death later, I opened my eyes at the loud noise. 'Edward' was sitting some feet away from me dry-sobbing.

With a huff, I got off the imaginary bed, and began feeling around the room. I was in a morgue, and just because it was made to look like Edward's bedroom at mid-noon didn't make it any less of a morgue. Somewhere, my groping hands would find a table knife or something.

"What are you doing?" I heard him ask brokenly.

"Killing myself just like you wanted. You did say you'd enjoy my suicide. Well," I added, "Congratulations. Today's your lucky day."

Before I could blink, I was crushed against Edward's chest.

"You will not take yourself from me," he snarled in my ear.

Silent, angry tears rolled down my face. I clenched my hands to stop them from fighting. I wanted this over with.

"Don't be him," I pleaded with the monster, "Anybody but him. Just end it. Or if you're not going to end it, be anyone but Edward."

"Good God! What did he do to you?" said the thing that looked like my husband.

"Stop it!" I screamed. "You're not real!"

"I am real, Bella."

His hand rubbed my lower back. I twisted, trying to pry myself out of his grip. "I. Know. Now! Stop pretending!"

"But I am real."

I pulled back to look at him, his horrified ochre eyes urging me to believe him, and I did for a split second.

"Yes, sure you are," I said. "You're real right now, and then you'll disappear, and I'll fall onto needles again. Don't play tricks with me anymore!"

I was screaming at the top of my lungs and trembling violently.

"Bella?" someone called from the doorway.

"Not now, Alice," he told her.

I used his distraction to get away, and ran as far away from 'Edward' and 'Alice' as I could.

"She'll come through," Alice said.

Edward nodded solemnly before murmuring "Thank you".

I slunk down in the corner of the room, near what was illusioned to look like Edward's CD collection, and hugged my knees to my chest.

Alice threw me one pitying stare before dancing rather heavily out the door.

The imposter heaved a sigh and slowly approached me, caution written in his eyes, a look that reminded me of someone nearing a cornered wild animal. It was the look Edward would actually have on his face if I had acted this way in real life.

Maybe it was real… No. I shook my head and trembled harder. That was what he wanted me to think. After he had me, I'd just be hurt more, and I was sick of that.

"Stop," I said.

He did to my amazement…just like Edward really would do. Unfathomable grief practically oozed out of him.

"I don't know," he began, "how to begin to convince you that I am me. Maybe…"

He appeared to be struck with an idea, and then flew over to me. His lips came ever closer to mine. I shrunk away farther. "Not again," I muttered.

"He kissed you?"

"_You_ kissed me."

I tried to remember the Fae's name again, but I couldn't dredge it up.

Edward pulled back. I didn't check his emotions. They would only push me further down into this trap.

I heard my husband's voice speak again. "Your favorite color changes from day to day. You love the way the sky melds with the land in Arizona. You stole my jacket so that you could smell me when I went hunting."

I shook harder and buried my head in my knees. A whole new torturous level had been added to the game. "Stop," I cried.

"You scrapbook sometimes, and you hate big parties and shopping." A note of hysteria had entered his voice. "Emmett bought you a stereo system for your Chevy truck on your eighteenth birthday, and you nearly got yourself electrocuted tearing it out because you find gifts of any sort absolutely insufferable."

I looked at him for the first time. He looked panicked and half-crazed. He fell to his knees and looked me square in the eye.

"Last night, Bella," he said, "I found you in the morgue. You have a gash across your right wrist and several other wounds. Carlisle and I arrived in time to stop the bleeding. That faerie left moments before we got there, and try as Carlisle might, he couldn't summon him back. I'm so sorry for not being there to protect you. One second you were in my arms, and the next you weren't. Emmett called me, and we followed your scent to the morgue."

"Oh God…" I said. "You're really real."

Edward nodded slowly. I all but crawled over to where he was kneeling, wrapped my arms around his torso, and buried my face into his marble chest.

He picked me up and carried me over to the bed. Once he had arranged us to where we were both lying down on the white sheets, I covered him in kisses. I kissed him everywhere, his arms, his face, his neck, places I remember him groaning from. I practically worshiped him.

Finally, when my lips were skittering across his cheeks, he turned his head and grabbed my lips with his. Fingers laced. Legs intertwined. We couldn't get enough of each other.

I began to remove his shirt, wanting to do what my libido was virtually screaming for, but he stopped my hands with his.

"Not right now," he said.

"Why?" I moaned, pressing myself against him.

"Family...downstairs...super hearing."

"Oh… way to kill a mood," I muttered.

"Later," he promised, "I'll make it up to you." The raw edge in his voice was hard to argue with.

I rolled off of him, and lay beside his cold body, my hand still gripping his for dear life. I saw the crown molding on his ceiling. It was something I'd never noticed before. Following the swirling patterns with my eyes put me into a sort of trance.

"Edward, why didn't you change me?" I asked after a while.

"What?"

"When you found me, and I was bleeding to death. Why didn't you change me then?"

He shifted infinitesimally. I could tell he was nervous about the direction this conversation was headed.

"We still have a week left, Bella," he said soothingly.

"Too long," I replied, "The longer we wait, the more happens. My dad… Oh God! Charlie!" I sat up.

_What have I done? Edward's going to hate me!_

I buried my head in my hands.

"_What is this?" _ - Edward's harsh words rung in my ears and stung my heart. For a second, I thought I heard that again.

Oh no. The panic and pain were back. I still hadn't woken up. Of course I hadn't. That would be all too easy. That faery was good, I had to admit, making me totally believe before snatching everything out from under me again.

I flew from the bed and ran to the opposite corner of the room.

"Enough already!" I screamed.

I opened my eyes to slits. I could see 'Edward' lying on the bed glaring at me, yet there was still some deep-rooted sadness there, or so it seemed. That hurt me.

Even though I knew it wasn't real, it hurt me.

Was this the next step of torture? Were my emotions to be burned at the stake, too?

A strange feeling of unfaithfulness came. I had kissed another man.

"Monster!"

The hurt in fake Edward's eyes turned to shock. He was good. Very, very good. My emotions were being torn apart, my mind being swiftly reduced to mere shambles.

For a moment, I could have sworn I saw a gray countertop in place of the nightstand, with silver instruments on top. I thought I was dead! I was supposed to have died!

But maybe the cut on my wrist was only an illusion as well. I glanced down. No, no. It was still there, an angry slash marring the milky paleness of my skin. I touched the ridge or raised red flesh, and I hissed when that stung.

Then again, maybe that was just an illusion, too.

Whispers in the corners again. I heard them. I clamped my hands over my ears, but they didn't stop.

At this point, while I still had some sanity, I weighed the two options.

Either this was real, and I was going insane in front of Edward.

Or, I was going insane in the morgue.

Quite frankly, I wasn't sure which option was preferable. I shrugged away from the cold hand suddenly placed on my shoulder.

"Don't touch me..."

A/N: Twisted? Sick? Morbid as h-e-l-l? Hey, that's life. And who knew I could pull it off?? So, brace yourself I do believe was an adequate warning. To all those who didn't, well, may you rest in peace.


	45. Chapter ThirtyNine PartOne ACTUALLY

Disclaimer: I own this hairbow… HEY MADDY GIVE THAT BACK

**Disclaimer: **I own this hairbow… HEY MADDY GIVE THAT BACK!... okay, I own nothing. Wow. This is embarrassing…

_**W-O-W. You guys are the sweetest!! **_

**SS: Haha. You and everyone else. Not a single right guesser, except of course, the crazy people who kept saying that they knew it wasn't going to be a straight answer out of the book. So, don't feel bad at all. Honestly, if you HAD guessed right, I'd be worried about your sanity. I'm worried about mine. You know how actors are supposed to get into character for a role. Well… I sort of did that with Bella. It was weird like nobody's business! I layed on my couch and cried for like an hour! My friend came over and had to drag me out for some icecream… it was bad. Sometimes, I REALLY need a break from my easily drawn into head. I can honestly say I FELT what she did in this chapter. Especially about the 's' word and how it made her feel terrible, and visualizing about the things she did! Man oh man, I truly thought I'd lost it there for a while. But the icecream made everything better!**

**Taylorxxtwihard: ah! Woe is me. Story of my life. Haha. Jk. I've had a surprisingly normal life for the crazy morbid stuff I'm able to write. Well, I give you (da da dun da!) MORE!**

**Jadedvibes: cool penname. One of the scarce nontwilight related ones surprisingly. The Few, the Proud, the Non-Twilight Pennameers! Lol. Although you don't get the cool survival skills marines do. One reading? Whoa. Am impressed. That's like 150000 words…hmmm… that's almost 2/5 of twilight. DOES it take a long time to write a book or what? But, anyway, thanks! Erm, yeah. You should. I said the contents surrounding the vial would be the last big sitch, so, erm… I suppose I should say a few more chapters will be the wrap up. :D: happy/sad**

**Amber: Really? Aw. Well, I hope not! haha. Have you seen the 'daily quotes' on stephenie meyer's home page. I try not to look at them bc I don't want any spoilers, but there's one that is super close to something I wrote… scary, huh?**

**Golden eyed vampire: FINALLY we have an o my Edward! Oh my Carlisle? I think not!**

**Illeana marquet: For someone who didn't know how to say that, you said it exceedingly, splendiferously well. Imaigine what it would have sounded…read… like if you really HAD known how to say it? Lolz, jk. Stupid sarcasm, going and ruining my nice, clean reviewer shoutouts. It's like a plague I tell you. A plague! But you! You're like the cure. Excuse the cliché.**

**Livelife213: Thriller! I knew I was missing a genre! (It's a thriller! Thrill. Er. Night! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!!)**

**Ariana: Suspense. My forte it seems. Keeping people waiting…. Lovely. Im doomed to never be on time.**

**Ari: I think your Arianna, so above mentioned.**

**edwardXD: Wow. You were right. You DO put that in reviews a lot.**

**Kelly: (hisses) Better? Honestly doubt it, but thanks a bundle! You made my day! I do seriously WISH I were as good as her though.**

**Hypergiggles: lol. Aw, thanks for the kneeling at my feet and all that jazz. It was much appreciated. And seeing as Christian Bale was standing right behind you, I must thank you for giving me an excellent view of his face! ;D ah… Christian….Christian and his Lamborghini. Christian makes me not want to sin. Oh the irony…. I just went to hell. When did Steph make Bella go crazy. When Edward came back? Or did I miss something?**

**The Musings of Artemis: tehehe. You made me cyber giggle, you fiend! But, thanks… and your only a fiend if you put an 'r' behind the 'f'. :D**

**Savannahx: Chyep… sorry bout that. Apparently I do indeed respond better in the face of death. DARN YOU! I lost my right eye all because you booby trapped Google! You are going to get sued so hard, you won't be able to walk! **

_**ALRIGHT GUYS! SORRY BUT THE NEW CHAPTER SHOULD BE OUT VERY VERY SOON! I just sent it to my beta. SO I"LL FINISH SHOUTING OUT ON THAT! Don't be mad. But I figured you'd want the chapter more anyway.**_

Chapter 39

I'd always heard tell that insane people were completely unaware to their insanity.

If I ever regained full working function of my mind, I would be sure to give the people who said that a telling off the likes of which they'd never seen, because I was aware – painfully, excruciatingly aware.

My head ached, in the temples, near the base of my neck, in so many spots that my hands couldn't cover them all, and I wasn't so sure that the shattering of my brain was as figurative and metaphorical as I had thought.

_Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me._

I wouldn't let that thing trick me again.

'Edward' was standing just in the doorway with 'Carlisle'. I tried to keep my eyes closed tightly. If I opened them, anguished topaz eyes would make my head hurt harder.

I was curled up on his leather couch that made a sticking sound whenever I shifted or fidgeted, which was often. The Sun appeared to be setting.

I was mildly impressed with the fairy king's work.

Then, I stopped fidgeting, and let the concept of its reality rattle around and settle. That didn't last long and boded ill whenever I was snapped out of it. I would whimper or beg him to stop, and the creature in my husband's form would heave a sob.

Then, I'd know it wasn't real. The pain hit again, and I'd cry and retreat back inside my self-detonating mind.

I knew at some point, I would have to choose to believe one, but I was terrified of being disappointed.

On the one hand, I could buy into it. Seconds later, Edward would shift into a nightmare and I didn't think I could mentally bear that.

On the other, this _could_, possibly, on some fractional, miraculous off chance, be completely genuine. Then, I would have begged Edward to kill me. He could hate himself so much that he'd do 'what was best for me' and leave again.

I shook violently, and the couch groaned, like it approve of my sitting on it.

I wondered then if I was really sitting on an empty gurney or something... or, I gulped, a not-so-empty one. I leapt from it. The slight indentation I had rocked into it inflated and lifted up.

The couch looked like it was breathing, _could_ breath again without me burdening it.

I sighed, wishing again that I would brush up against a sharp object, anything to end this confusion.

I froze then, my brown eyes locked straight ahead. No. I wouldn't give up like that.

I didn't know where my sudden inspiration came from, but there it was. I'd fight till the bitter end, and almost any end was sure to be bitter.

'Edward', if he was truly Edward at that time, had said that the fairy couldn't be summoned back, that he was still on the loose. Who was to say that he wouldn't come again?

I filtered through the filing cabinets in my recollection, at least, I searched through the ones that hadn't been toppled, burned, or destroyed yet. I cringed when I realized that some of my memories were fuzzy. I was confusing reality with illusion. But, if I could just remember that fairy's name, then I would know.

What was it?

I sunk to the floor, the safe, safe floor. I didn't remember anything lying on the ground of the morgue.

Why couldn't I remember? The battle had been only weeks ago, and I was sure Edward had mentioned it since then.

The strange thought that maybe, just maybe I was actually in Edward's room seeped in again. This time, I tried to rationalize it, make it reasonable, if only to buy me some hope.

Hope was the small ledge keeping me from tipping off into the deep end.

That bit of hope, ironically, was a menacing whisper. I'd heard something before I drifted off...

'_Revenge, m'dear, is best served cold anyway.'_

That spoke good and ominously at the same time. It meant that I was safe for now, but he would come back for me later.

And another thing, that faery wasn't exactly the most patient of creatures. He never stayed in one illusion for more than a few minutes at most. But this, the time I had been in the Cullen's house, felt like hours.

Suddenly, I chanced a glance at Edward and Carlisle. Edward's eyes were still focused on me, as I knew they'd been all along. His face, though, was angled toward Carlisle's, and his mouth was saying words too fast for me to understand.

I started to rise when I heard the whispers again, those same whispers that had haunted me all night, and I sunk back to the floor and covered my ears again. I knew I must look a sight when I began rocking back and forth. If I did get out of this alive, either way, I'd be thrown into the loony bin for sure, straight jacket, snow white walls, and all. Edward would visit me. I knew he would. My heart sunk at how ashamed I knew I'd feel, how pitiful.

That was me, though. Always the pitiful little human.

I vowed to myself to hold on to something. Parts of my mind that I vividly recalled, would always vividly recall no matter what the situation was, where the three days in the mansion by the lake.

I remembered the _feel_ of him. I could practically feel it now. I remembered his arms around me, the greatly restrained passion in his eyes. I remembered thinking about the things he could do with that same passion unleashed upon me.

I thought about the way he'd woken me up with kisses that first morning, and about the way he had chuckled when I clutched the sheets to my chest and blushed.

'And you always were so eager to have your clothes off around me,' he had said.

I remembered what happened when I let the sheets dropped, the forgotten silver breakfast tray on the floor, a yellow daisy sprouting lopsided out of a crystal vase, the distant sound of an apple being thrown and rolling across the hardwood after I had taken just one bite. That had been when Edward had decided for me that I wasn't really hungry after all... for apples anyway.

He had apologized profusely later, saying that he had let his selfishness get away from him. I told him I was becoming rather fond of his selfishness. The next two days, I had my breakfast veritably shoved down my throat each morning.

Right then, officially loosing my marbles on Edward's floor, I threw my head back and laughed, and didn't stop laughing.

I held on to that memory for as long as I possibly could, giggling uncontrollably till I was out of breath, and the scene had flitted away on hummingbird wings.

"I love you, Edward Cullen," I shouted to the heavens. I said it just in case.

If this wasn't real, he would hear it in the faery's mind. If it was, he really was hearing it.

A whisper near my ear made me start.

"I love you, too, Bella," he said, but his voice sounded so sad.

"He should know," I whispered, not facing those perfect features. "Or you should know," I added.

"He does know. He wishes you would look at him." The voice broke on nearly every word.

I remained staring where I was, at what appeared to be a wall of CD's and records of every color, but what could have been an incinerator.

"...please," the audio silk begged of me. Something cold I knew to be this creature's chin alighted on my shoulder. I turned my head sharply to the left to avoid seeing him, but I could still feel parts of him – the curve of his cheek, the feather-light brushes wisps of his bronze hair that sent shivers down my spine. I remembered running my fingers through that hair, having that cheek rest over my heartbeat.

I didn't have the heart to tell him not to touch me though. I didn't want to see that pain again, real Edward or no. And maybe if I played dead, the faery would get bored.

Suddenly, a marble arm snaked around my waist, the hand attached to it splayed out over my stomach. Slowly, it began pulling me towards its owner.

I let it, limply collapsing against the chest behind me, apathetic beyond all reason.

I wanted to sleep now, just to fall into a dreamless, endless slumber.

"You can sleep, Bella. You can sleep all you want."

I jolted at the same time I felt the muscles behind me tighten.

"Carlisle?" the voice asked, convincing panic infused into it.

What looked like Edward's adoptive father walked towards us.

Edward continued speaking. "I can read her thoughts sometimes." He sounded near hysteria. "Carlisle, what's wrong with her!"

"I'm crazy," I said, answering for everyone. Either way, that fact at least was true.

I was pulled tighter against washboard abs. "No, you're not," he hissed.

"Can you read them now?" Carlisle asked.

"No, but sometimes..." Edward continued, "Now! Oh God, Carlisle, she wants to die!"

I laughed bitterly, although 'laugh' isn't really the correct term. It was more of a bark.

"I believe..." Carlisle began, a sorrowful tone to his voice, too. Yet, there was something else there, an emotional detachment only held by doctors and psychiatrists. "I believe that Findabhair sent her scope of reality in disarray. Played some sort of... mind games."

_Findabhair_. That was the name. Why would he give it away like that?

"But she's supposed to be safe inside her mind!" Edward argued. "That's why I can't read her thoughts."

"His illusions aren't just in the mind. He actually transforms things physically, but only loosely, like holograms. He's unstabilized her thoughts. That's why you can read them at intervals."

_Findabhair..._

"Can you read them now?" Carlisle asked.

"No."

"Findabhair, stop!" I cried.

Nothing changed. That should've stopped him. They have to obey when addressed by their name.

I tried again. "Findabhair, let go of me right now." The arms still stayed tightly wrapped around my abdomen.

I collapsed then in sobs. It was real. It was all real.

And the realest part of the entire situation was my losing it. I cried harder. My mind was so unstable that Edward could actually read my thoughts sometimes.

I turned myself around in the arms. Edward must have thought I was trying to struggle because he let go of me immediately and stood.

"No!" I yelled, jumping up and flinging my arms around his body. "I believe you now! Please, don't leave. I believe you!"

His arms wrapped themselves around me.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered.

"You're not the one who should be apologizing."

Whispers floated through the air again. I hunched my shoulders and clamped my hands over my ears to get away.

"What is it?" Edward asked.

"Whispers," I murmured, and then shot my head up.

Edward had a disturbed look in his eyes. Carlisle had the same.

I looked at the doctor. "I'm crazy, aren't I?"

Slowly, like he was afraid to make sudden movements, he shook his head. "No, just... shocked."

"I'm hearing things. Edward," I turned to address him, "I'm so damn unstable you can hear what I'm thinking! I am crazy." I bowed my head, trying to get away from his pitying, perfect orbs. "I'm sorry," I whispered, and I was, sorry that he wouldn't get the normal wife he wanted.

"Shhh," Edward said, rubbing circles into my back. "She needs rest," he said to his father.

Carlisle looked at Edward then, and I could tell he was asking him something via mind communication. Edward threw one hesitant glance at me before nodding to his father.

"I'll go get it then," Carlisle said quickly. He must have thought it was too quick for me to hear.

_What?_ Edward said I needed rest, and Carlisle was going to go get something?

_Oh_... The cogs cranked and finally fit together.

In horror, I pushed away from Edward and began backing towards the door. "You're going to _sedate_ me?!" I demanded.

Edward's demeanor immediately shifted to something guilty. I couldn't believe him. For the first time since he came back, I was genuinely angry with him. How could he?

A million scenes from movies passed through my head. I saw nameless, faceless people kicking and screaming from the injustice and humiliation of having a needle plunged into their veins all because they were too deranged to be allowed consciousness. I automatically inserted my name.

My face.

A flash of silver caught the corner of my eye. Upon looking at it directly, I saw that it was the keys to my Camaro. I grabbed them and ran out the door, passing Carlisle on the stairs. The remaining Cullens had faces that showed varying stages of shock and pity, all except Alice. She looked downright angry. I didn't stop to ask if it was for me.

Edward caught my arm as I was opening the door.

I whipped around and pushed against him uselessly.

"Where are you going?" he asked. His question wasn't condescending, but I knew that was just because he didn't want to scare me, didn't want me to have another fit.

He had a point, though. I thought about Charlie's before I realized what had happened. Images of his mangled face flashed before my eyes. I shuddered, even though I knew it didn't help my case.

Edward's gaze went from kindness to fright in a heartbeat.

"I don't know."

I saw Carlisle standing by the foot of the stairs, something held behind his back. Like I didn't know what they planned to do...

"What are you going to do next, Edward? Institutionalize me?" I bit.

I could see the hurt etched into his features. Simultaneously, I avenged myself, and died just a little bit.

I yanked my arm away from him hard, vaguely contemplating biting it off in order to escape. He held tight though.

"Bella..." he started, and I looked at him, prepared for an apology. "I'm sorry."

It was an apology, but it wasn't for what he had done. It was for what he was about to do.

It started happening very calmly, not at all like the scenes I imagined.

Edward just stood there, his eyes downcast, his hand holding my wrist firmly.

As Carlisle walked toward us, I tried pulling away, beating on his chest. I was screaming at him, telling him that I couldn't believe he was doing this, and that I thought he loved me, and any other guilt trip I could spoon out. I was crying out of anger and humiliation. Rose, Emmett, and Esme had left, but Jasper and Alice remained. Jasper had his face averted, too. Alice still appeared furious.

The next part happened too quickly for me to know how it actually occurred. All I knew was that Edward was not holding on to me anymore, and that Alice was standing between us with her arms spread out, like Edward's stance in Volterra.

"Alice!" Edward exclaimed.

"Do you _know_ how that feels?!" she snarled. "Do you know how it feels to have people who love you think that you're insane? I know I don't remember my human life, but still! I remember that _feeling_!" Alice, short as she was, seemed menacing as any Volturi member.

Edward crouched down, in a position that suggested he was ready to fight. His lips drew up over his teeth. "She needs sleep!"

"She _needs_ to make her own choices! She's not incompetent." Alice retorted.

That moment, I'd never respected Alice so much in my life. It tore at my heartstrings though, to see my husband and best friend fighting with each other.

Carlisle walked over and put a hand on Edward's shoulder.

I took that as an opportunity to turn tail and sprint out the door, ignoring Edward's anguish, a force so strong, I could practically feel it like another kind of gravity.

I reached the car, unlocked it, and peeped over my shoulder. Edward was standing in the doorway, Alice watching him warily from the bottom of the porch.

I mouthed, "I'm sorry."

And when hope flashed in his golden orbs, I knew that he didn't understand that I wasn't apologizing for what I had done. I was apologizing for what I would do.

I was leaving, no, _fleeing_ from him.

**XXX**

_Findabhair, Findabhair, Findabhair... _I repeated the name to myself as I drove along in case he decided to show up again.

I ignored any whispers I happened to hear. I could overcome them; beat them back into my subconscious I realized after a while. The miniature self-battles went even better after I released some of my paranoia. I still couldn't help but gulp when the sun finally started to set, or when I passed through tunnels of tightly intertwined forest. Squat gray buildings were to be avoided at all costs, too.

I was hopelessly lost, though, and I hated that.

Some statement I was making...

**A/N: There's another chapter on the plate. Should be out in a day or so. But in the meantime, read and review. This chapter was short. It was actually only half a chapter, but I couldn't wait to get it out to you! :D**


	46. Chapter ThirtyNine PartTwo ACTUALLY

Disclaimer: Ah, sweet, sweet disclaimers

**Disclaimer: **Ah, sweet, sweet disclaimers. How I loathe thee...

I'm honored and thrilled beyond words that you all have kept reviewing. I just relized about five minutes ago that this chapter was ready, and seeing as it's been so long, I decided to go ahead and get it out to you. Reviewer shoutouts will start regularly with the next chapter. I will do reviewer replies on the ones for the first half of this chapter, and get to the ones for the one before THAT as soon as I can. I've been busy like crazy though lately, so... Again, thank you! I, your humble authoress, do not deserve such things...

Chapter ThirtyNine PartTwo ACTUALLY

I knew I would have to return eventually, seeing as I had no money and the little red arrow was a few notches from empty, but I dreaded it with every fiber of my being.

The wide, rectangular headlights lit up my rearview mirror near midnight, as I knew they would. Alice couldn't have kept him at bay forever.

I was assured of the fact that the ghost car was indeed a Volvo when we passed out of the forest into a small clearing, the serenity of the place marred by cement and yellow, painted stripes. The moon hung on a glowing crescent hook inches above the tree tops, and I saw the gleaming silver metal of Edward's car for a moment, before we drove on into the shadows.

I was genuinely surprised he wasn't following me on foot or stopping this vehicle with his bare hands, although it probably had something to do with the million or so dollar cash difference between the Camaro and my old truck. Then again, maybe he was waiting till I was ready to talk to him.

Whatever the reason, he stayed a steady, constant distance behind my Washington state tags.

I sped up, he sped up. I slowed down, he slowed down. Finally, impatient and irritated, I slammed on the breaks and hitched a U-turn. My tires squealed deafeningly. I was sure black skid marks were left on the pavement. I left the red Volvo brake lights in the distance, spewing gravel in my wake.

He wanted crazy?

I'd give him crazy.

For a while, he seemed to take the hint, but I knew he wouldn't stay away for long. Peering at my gas gauge, I noticed that it was on empty. Great. I was running on vapors. Now he'd have to come, and I wouldn't have any choice but to ride back with him.

For the fiftieth time, I glanced in my rearview mirror. Coming around the last bend I had taken was what looked like a mass of something a few shades lighter than its surroundings.

I squinted my eyes to try to block out the whispers that started again.

Of course... I sighed. Edward was still following me. He'd just switched his headlights off, what with having perfect night vision as a built-in feature and all.

Just a little bit, I hoped that a deer would step out in front of him and wreck that stupid car of his.

When I felt the Camaro start to putter, I pressed down on the button that would lock my doors and stopped in the middle of the back road. There wasn't room to pull over to the side. A bank of thick green vegetation hemmed it in.

I leaned back in the seat, closed my eyes, and waited. The well-prepared-for tap on my window came seconds later, but I didn't react. Like a child, I feigned sleep, playing opossum. According to him, I needed the rest anyhow.

"I apologize, Bella," I heard him say, muffled slightly by the barrier separating us. "I... you know I only want to do what's best for you."

I knew that, but he wasn't my father. He was taking his old-fashioned policies a bit too far, overreacting as always. My fists clenched in anger. I could make my own choices.

However, I kept my countenance sleep-like, eyelids shut, lips relaxed.

"Bella, I'm sorry!" he cried.

And I couldn't help it. The panic in his tone made me cringe.

"Roll down the window. Please!"

"Why?" I shouted. "So you can knock me over the head and cart me off to a mental facility?"

He took a step back from the window, whether surprised by the venom in my voice or the fact that I honestly had the intellectual capabilities to string together a sentence, I didn't know.

Shock shone on his face plain as day, even though it was dark as pitch outside. His pallor stood out.

"I can't apologize enough," he continued quietly. "I made a horrendous mistake, but I can't just let you sit out here all night."

"I really don't have a problem with it."

"Well I do!" he retorted. "I'm married to you, and I love you, and I want you to come back home. Please will you come back home?"

"What choice do I have?" I asked. That was the keystone question, it seemed.

Edward sighed and kicked at something in the road. "You always have a choice," he said. "If you choose to stay here though, I'm staying with you. Know that."

"Then you'll be standing outside all night," I said calmly.

"You think that's a problem for me?"

"No," I said, and then muttered under my breath, "but it's a problem for me."

I still hadn't forgiven him for trying to tranquilize me.

"Do you truly want me to go?" he asked after several minutes.

I looked at him. "No," I said, so quiet I could barely hear myself. For him however, it must have rang loud and clear, because he smiled one of his dazzlers.

"Then, please Bella, will you let me in the car?"

"What are you, cold?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

He wrapped his arms around himself and pretended to shiver. "Freezing," he said with added emphasis.

I smiled a little at the joke, reached over, and pulled on the latch to the passenger's side door.

Edward was in the seat beside me before I could say… well, anything at all really.

As soon as he had shut the door, I pushed a button to make the back of my seat automatically recline. Then, I closed my eyes, wanting to go to sleep in the good old natural, non medication-induced way.

I could feel his burning gaze though, and I imagined it was something akin to what leaves must feel when a magnifying glass is focusing the Sun's energy onto their green surface. There were twin pinpoints of topaz fire boring into my cheek.

Was that smoke I smelled?

"Bella…" he said.

I declined acknowledgment.

"You're not really going to sleep here, are you?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Why not?"

"It can't be comfortable."

My spine was at an awkward angle and my neck was starting to hurt, but I stretched my arms and yawned like I was the most content person on the face of the Earth.

"Very, actually," I lied.

"What if someone hits the car?" he asked, and I grudgingly had to admit he had a point. "It's dark and you don't have any lights."

With the push of a button, my parking brakes lit up. I closed my eyes again and snuggled into the leather. This time, an orangey kind of glow was under my eyelids instead of the much-preferred black nothingness. I tried my very best to ignore it though and fall asleep.

"You're not tired," he said.

"According to you, I am."

That shut him up. He didn't utter a single word for nearly ten minutes.

The next words he uttered were whispered huskily into my ear.

"What if I were to want you very badly right now?"

After a few seconds of being stupefied, I shrugged. "What if?"

He brushed his lips over the swirl of my ear. "Would you let me have you?"

Ignoring the rather persistent part of my mind screaming 'Oh yes, Edward. Have your way with me in the backseat' took an impressive amount of effort, but I did it.

A much, much meaner part responded to his question. "Do I really have a choice?"

I couldn't help it. I still felt so not-trusted. I still remembered the helpless feeling of having Edward hold me there against my will, while Carlisle walked towards me with the needle.

Edward pulled away immediately. "Of… of course. Bella, I would never… do such a thing without your consent."

I looked at him. What I'd said to him was crossing the line, and I knew it.

He was still babbling brokenly. "I mean… I… I couldn't ever, ever force you to… Do you really think of me so lowly? I mean…it's about time, but notwithstanding, do you?"

I raised my hand and put the palm of it to his cold cheek. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Of course I don't think of you like that. I'm just angry."

"With me," he said.

I sighed. "With everything."

Edward nodded and turned away, keeping his hands balled into fists in his lap. I had really, really crossed the line.

Unhooking my seatbelt, I slid across the gearshift to straddle Edward's hips. I must have sincerely injured his feelings because his hands stayed where they were, and he didn't meet my eye.

So, I did the only thing a desperate, half crazy, love starved girl could do in that moment. I kissed him, open mouthed, on the lips. It took several tries before he responded, but he responded with a fury. One hand yanked my lower back while the other grabbed handfuls of my mussed up hair.

I clung to his face for dear life as our lips moved together.

I shifted slightly, and he groaned. A blush bathed my face and neck in pink.

I moved one hand down to rest on his thigh, and then moved it up slowly.

Its movement stopped when my fingers felt something long and thin in Edward's front pocket. Edward froze as well. Feeling my way along the stick, I found what I was looking for yet hoped I wouldn't find – a plunger.

Edward had a syringe in his front pocket.

Lungs inflated finally, and then deflated just as fast, until I was panting heavily. My eyes were wide as they stared at Edward's cringing face.

"It's not…" he started, but couldn't finish the sentence.

Pushing the door open, I bolted from the car. All along, he'd just wanted me to let him in so he could try to sedate me again. He must have had a plan for its use. Syringes didn't just grow legs and walk into people's front pockets, now did they?

I pushed my way past the underbrush, and scrambled up the bank. Running was useless against a vampire, I knew, but I ran anyway.

The forest was dark and smelled heady with rain. It wasn't the kind of place a lone girl wanted to be forced into by her mistrustful husband, but there I was.

I pushed my way past ferns and obstructive branches, hissing when they rescraped one of my various wounds, hearing the scampering away of animals I had disturbed. I ran until I tripped over a tree branch.

My arms, not Edward's, caught my fall. I was surprised he let me get this far, that I didn't have medicine rushing through my veins right now.

I stayed where I was, on the ground, but I sat up so I could at least be somewhat warned of his inevitable approach.

Funny… I looked forward to it just a day ago.

I saw his feet first, stepping out into a patch of moonbeams the canopy had made room for. Then, I saw his perfect legs, followed by his lean torso, and then finally, his flawless face.

"You're treating me like an animal!" I screamed.

Edward winced, and then reached into his front pocket and slowly pulled out the object.

I'd been right about its identity.

I closed my eyes.

"Go ahead," I said acidly. "Do what you came here to do."

I heard Edward's slow, cautious footsteps crunching dead leaves as he ambled towards me. Wind rushed past my face when he knelt down in front of me. My facial muscles contracted when I felt a sharp pain stab my arm.

Then, I waited to black out.

I kept on waiting for a few minutes.

At last, I opened my eyes to gaze at Edward. His orbs were laughing, and he had that lopsided smile on his face.

"For Christ's sake, how long does it take for this stuff to work?"

This time, he threw his head back and laughed outright. "It is working, Bella. Or at least I hope so."

"I don't think so or I'd be a whole lot less… cognizant right now."

Edward held up the emptied syringe.

"Pen-i-cill-in," he stressed, "in case the knives you fell on weren't properly sanitized."

I blinked several times, my stare blank as a whitewashed fence.

Edward continued speaking. "I'm perfectly certain that Alice herself removed any sedative items in the house: sleeping pills, morphine, any ammonia based items… But I'd already decided that I'd never do that again. I made a terrible mistake in trying to do that to you. You wanted to sleep, and I could scarcely abide listening to some of your thoughts. It was selfish and stupid, and I couldn't dream of your forgiveness."

"Of course you couldn't," I said coyly.

He gave me a look so heart wrenching, it nearly split my soul in halves.

I finished quickly. "You can't dream of anything."


	47. Chapter Forty ACTUALLY

********

Disclaimer:

I'm too sexy for you... I'm honestly at my wit's end here.**__**

Thanks! Holy cow! You people have no idea how much I look forward to your reviews, mainly because they're just so gosh darned funny!! Thanks for the laughs and the much too big head.

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MickeyandMinnie: Thank you! Yep, my mind runs a mile per minute and changes direction often... sort of like a tornado. So... Oh god! Singing munchins from the Wizard of Oz popped into my head. NOT AGAIN!! Jeez. Whatd I tell ya?

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The Musings of Artemis: No joke, right? Well, he's a boy. He had to mess up eventually. But, yeah... Alice is the greatest! If I could be one character, it'd be tough choosing between her and Bella... really, really tough.

Bellaxx2: Ouch. Read the rest, just out of curiosity? Ok is better than suck completely though.

Silly Ella: Proud for insanity? That's a new one. I'm beaming! At least someone is... (grumbles 'its about time') Oh, the postal service sent me a notice informing me that your feast was commandeered on its journey to your house, by wild tasmanian devils, and NO not the cartoon versions. So... Now I have to get Ihop to cater or something... hope you like pancakes.

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Minimeyer: hahahahahahaha. I giggled hard. If you couldn't tell... Well, not ALL THE WAYYY crazy at any rate. Don't want to inhibit your reading skills, now do I?

Ms. Impatient: I think the penname said it all, really. So, you've been sitting at the screen for what now? Five days! I hope someone brought you food and water. And I really, REALLy hoped that you blinked... or had a lot of visine on your person...

Dlmadlang: Strange. This is the only place where I am called genius. I suppose that's why I love it so much .Ahh, anyway. That's sad! I'm sorry. Maybe you can stop at a walmart on the way! Canada's a long drive, right? Oh, no control... Come up with something clever... like. Oh crap, I just started my period. Let's go to walmart. Oh!! While I'm here, I'll just buy this book with the EXACT amount of money I happen to have in my pocket, and read it on the way. Unless that'd be too awkward... then, you're on your own. And believe me, if I have to huff, and puff, and blow the bookstore down, I'll get that book at midnight... (laughs sinisterly)

Said dance: Sometimes, in moments like these, a wave of indescribable depression hits me over the knowledge that he isn't real. (sigh)

Lovelywendy: I decided it was high time for some humor. So I'm glad you enjoyed it.

TwiLight-fan 1207: OF COURSE A HORSE!

Emmy: lol. Well, I'll bear that in mind. I do have favorite words, and I use them like favorite shirts: over and over again. So, yeah... I'll try to do better though. Promise. But if that's the only thing you found lacking, then I'm flattered.

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Jalice14: fawesome again. I added that to my dictionary with a sharpee Ill have you know... right between fa-vor-i-tis-m and fawn.

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Anon: haha! you're welcome!

Kerssica: Well you should know all about my mind! You married it! Ya know what, like most of the things I say, I'm going to ignore how wrong that sounded and go on my merry way! K? Haha. That should be interesting. Wow, I can't say anything remotely interesting. I can't even be random anymore. I am nothing! I sincerely hope the kidney transplant goes well! Best wishes from Lily Turtle! Lyg

Dijurdo: Cool. Cool. Dang im exhausted. Which is odd, because I'm an insomniac, (hence the writing of the fanfiction), and usually im BURSTING with energy in the wee hours of the morning.

Luvnlivn: You and everyone else. Wow, I showed edward in a semibad light. Didn't know it could be done. Or should be done... one or the other. And thanks.

Julia: Thanks friend. I ran out of creativity four seconds ago.

Savannahx: Does this count as 'soon'?

Tail writer: Go alice! Girl power all the way, babe!

Vampirecat3: Vampire cats? Cool. I can deal with that.

MeyaRose: OH my god! More than two words, meya, I am so proud of you! Even though those words were kind of depressing. Yep, it is sad. But all couples fight I suppose...

Emberwillow: Well, anything else you need to know about... let's see... Jacob's going to come back one last time. I'm not so sure you need to brace yourself, just take deep breaths and follow what your anger managment instructor said...

Dawnismyenemy: HAHAHAHA! If it weren't for the gutter, your mind would be homeless. Jkjk. OOOO, please remove sharp knife PRIOR to head bashing. Statisistics show that one-hundred percent of people who do that get cut. Crazy amount, I know.

Socialdistortionist: Yipee! Girl power! Go Bella!!Alright, it's morning and I'm refreshed but im trying to hurry this up because i have to go to a pool party in a few. Darn that blasted fun! I didn't detect any mispellings. Then again Im not very good at that.

TaylorxxTwihard: haha.. punk edward gives me a funny mental image...

XXxbroken: Seems to be everyone's favorite. You should like this one though. Lots of humor to make up on, so...

Wantingedwardcullen: haha. Im trying to hurry so you can read the next chapter, so... call me stephenie if you want. Call me priscilla! Love you. Supertoast and me arefrends, he shouldng get too angry.

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Melodycullen and olivexedwardcullen: THANK YOU SO MUCH UNBELIEVABLY!!

Ah.

Sweet, sweet forgetfulness.

It comes easier than most people think.

For a moment, under the boughs of that old forest, I could completely forget about Charlie, with no guilt. I could forget that a sadistic fairy who didn't know how to be a good sport was out for my blood. I could even forget that the Volturi's deadline was fast approaching, there looming, right at the end of the lesser part of this week.

All of my focus, every gallon, liter, and bucketful, was aimed straight at Edward, and his at me.

We talked and talked and talked, and did…other…things.

I started shivering (although that probably had something to do with the fact that summer was ending and I had no clothing on whatsoever), and Edward insisted that we drive to our mansion.

Speaking of forgetting things, I completely forgot to fuss at him for buying me a house the size of a small country.

Ah well…

As it turned out, being in two separate cars for even the short trip up to our house was too much.

As soon as the car stopped, Edward had scooped me up and was carrying me through the door.

We didn't even make it up the stairs…

We were reacting simply as two mates, who needed one another more than anything else in the world.

****

XXX

Something was blinding me terribly, and there was a strange sort of pain in my abdomen and across the front of my torso. I squinted against the blinding daylight – that blasted sun again.

Snuggling into Edward, I groaned.

"Morning sunshine," he said.

"Sunshine," I moaned, "yuck."

"Sleep well?"

I meant to say something like 'yes, thank you', but it came out as a sort of garbled mush.

He chuckled.

I figured then that I might as well open my eyes. Obviously, I wasn't getting back to lovely unconsciousness any time soon.

I peeped one eye open and narrowed it to a slit. "Happy?" I bit.

"With you? Always," he said, "Now, does anything hurt?"

He had asked me this question every morning _after_ without fail.

This time, something did hurt, just a dull throb near my stomach and around my chest, but I shook my head no. It was probably nothing anyway.

"Positive?" he double-checked.

"Yes," I sighed.

"Good. How about some breakfast then?"

I moved to get up, noticing that a. Edward must have put a cream colored, silky shift on me sometime in the night, and b. my stomach hurt a lot worse than I had originally anticipated.

In response to the latter point, I winced. Edward, with his life-saving, although albeit sometimes annoying super senses, of course caught that.

"Lay down," he commanded.

"Are you kidding me? It's probably nothing."

He sighed melodramatically, and repeated himself. "Lay down, please Bella."

Grumbling, I did as he said.

"Tell me when it hurts," he instructed me.

"Aye aye, Dr. Edward!"

One corner of his perfect, delicious lips tilted upward.

Then, his lithe, and as I well knew, very agile fingers began rubbing small circles into my lower stomach.

"This hurt?" he asked, changing the position of his hand slightly.

"No."

"This?"

"No."

He moved his hands again, over my right hip bone, and I hissed.

Gently, he began pulling the shift upward, maintaining eye contact with me all the while. For some reason, in moments like these, I think he reverted back to the etiquette of 1918, what with always asking my permission all the time and going about things so slowly. Only when he had the lacy hem of the shift pulled up over my hips did he look down. He gasped and got a pained look in his eyes.

I remembered that look. It was his guilty look.

For his sake, I hoped the damage wasn't too bad.

I sat up on my elbows and looked down.

Alright, granted, it looked like the front of me had been used as a human punching bag. Mixed in with the scratches and red marks from my experiences at the morgue, there were big blue bruises on both of my hips. I pulled the nightgown up over my stomach and higher.

More bruises.

As in, the normal white color of my skin was a minority. As in, _would you like some skin with that bruise?_

I pulled the shift back down and tried to locate Edward. I had to calm him down before he blew a gasket.

He had retreated, as I knew he would, off the luxurious bed coverings, to stand just beyond the footboard. One of his pale hands was gripping the bedpost so tightly; I began worrying for the bed. He tended to have an uncanny habit of breaking furniture…

I knew what I would find written in his face before I looked: guilt, horror, self-hatred, a look that, were anyone else to walk in the room, would make that person duck under the nearest flame retardant object because surely the world was coming to an end.

And when I did glance at his face, I wasn't disappointed. Well, I was, greatly so, but as far as what I was expecting, no. I nailed that prediction.

I crawled to the end of the bed and reached for him, but he stepped back so that he was some distance away from my grasp.

Hurt flashed across my face, and I desperately wished, for his sake, that my bruises would just disappear. I myself didn't mind them so much.

Hell. This was nothing in comparison to my mile long list of other injuries.

"It doesn't hur…"

He cut me off. "It looks like I _beat_ you!"

So he'd noticed…

"It really isn't that bad…"

Edward backed up another step, the deep mahogany hardwood boards creaking under his strangely timid feet.

"Of course it's _that_ bad, Bella."

I bit my lip for a second, not sure how to proceed. Edward was the frightened dog, and I was the dog catcher, trying not to spook him too much.

"It was worth it," I tried. And I really believed that.

"_Nothing_, Bella! And I mean absolutely _nothing_ is worth your pain!" The emotions on his face were making me sick with concern, fear, and grief. I hated it when he suffered like this. I'd give the world to see him unremittingly happy.

No guilt. No pain. No carrying the burdens of everyone on his shoulders.

Like Atlas, I thought dimly. Doomed to carry the globe on his shoulders for forever. That had been _one_ story I'd remembered from Mythology, if only because it reminded me so much of Edward.

"Edward, please… things happen. It's okay!" I cried.

Trying to make him listen to reason was a ridiculous notion on my part of course. I should've known.

He shook his head. Anger had clenched his hands into strained fists at his side. "Would it be okay if Jacob would've done that? Hurt you like that! Or Mike! No, Bella, it wouldn't. You'd be angry with them. You'd kick them out the door, and it'd be no less than they deserved," he ranted. "No less than I deserve."

How Mike Newton ended up in the conversation, I had no idea, but his name was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"No! It wouldn't be okay if it was them. You know why? Because they wouldn't be _here_ right now. Because I don't love them! Because I love you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!"

He looked up at my mention of his full name.

I pressed onward. "You walk out that door, and I'll… I'll…" I struggled to find a threat that would be in any way threatening. "You don't leave this room or else…" I corrected.

In a classic Edwardian mood swing, his countenance shifted, mouth smirking, eyebrow quirking. "Or else?" he questioned.

I crossed my arms. "Yep."

"Well, now that you've completely terrified me with those witty threats of yours…"

I glared at him, before getting off the bed and leaving, going down into the kitchen to get some breakfast… or lunch, as would have been a more appropriate term.

On coming back up the grand staircase, a glass of orange juice in one hand and a granola bar in the other, I found Edward haphazardly lounging on the bed where I'd left him. I smiled a little. My threat was effective.

"I'll make you a deal," he said, a far-off expression coating his features. It was the way he looked when he was mulling something over

"Okay," I started. "Shoot." I peeled down the shiny, mirror-like paper on the granola bar, and took a big, healthy bite out of it.

"I won't go berserk or call Carlisle, as long as we don't… you know… again. At least until you're changed." I was glad he said the last word without even a wince.

My eyes scanned his body. He was wearing dark denim jeans. Their waistband was slung loosely around his hips. He was, of all the maddening things, _shirtless_.

Adonis was wearing snug jeans and no shirt, lying on my bed, politely asking me to refrain from jumping him. What's a girl to do?

Swallowing a large hunk of granola, I frowned.

"It's too… risky," Edward continued.

My gaze darted back over his form. "Pity," I mumbled.

He threw his head back and laughed. I walked over to the chest of drawers and set the glass of orange juice on top. I rummaged through the drawers until I found what I wanted, one of Edward's T-shirts. I dug a little deeper.

Better get one with long sleeves. Those muscular arms drove me wild. I reached down to the bottom of the drawer. That's when my palm brushed over a bundle of thicker fabric. I pulled it up through the rest of the material.

The bundle was a hoodie. Perfect. PennState was printed in archaic decals across the front. That had been the university where Edward had gotten a medical degree. Not _the_ medical degree. _A_.

I threw the article of clothing at him, and his lightning reflexes snatched it.

"You could at least attempt to help," I said.

"So could you," he retorted, giving me and my scant nightgown ensemble a once-over.

I grinned at him, before sauntering over to the dormer window, where I stretched myself out on the cushions in a very, shall we say, _risqué_ manner. "I think not."

****

XXX

In short, I was given the ultimatum of either putting on clothes myself, or having Edward put them on me. I stayed my ground till the very end, assuming that he would never do it.

Well… yes. Yes he would.

His excuse? My blush was just soooo adorable.

So, here we were, looking ready to go skiing in our multiple and highly unnecessary layers, sitting on opposite ends of the couch making sorry attempts to watch television. He and I both were fidgeting out of impatience.

"Can't we just sit by one another?" I asked.

He huffed, and began moving towards the middle. I did the same, until we were sitting side by side.

That lasted another commercial break or so, and then his arm awkwardly tried to drape itself across my back. I slowly bent my head down till it rested on his shoulder.

His big, strong, muscular shoulder.

I remembered trailing kisses across it, feeling the sheer power there twitching under my lips.

I stopped myself, compelling my mind to let itself be drawn into the mindless dribble coming out of the plasma screen in front of us. Let's see… it was a movie. A murder mystery.

Someone died? Who? I thought it was some guy named Tim. He got murdered with an axe. Or was it a chisel?

Chisel… chiseled… like Edward's chest. My hands tingled with the memory of sliding down its smooth planes. NO! No more.

I had to focus on Tim! Poor, poor Tim, who was murdered with an _axe_, not a chisel, and whose murderer was now on the run, whipping through the forest like a bullet.

Before I could draw parallels, I grabbed the remote and switched the channel.

Infomercials had to be safe territory. Inside Edward's chest was a rumble. He was chortling at me.

"Want one?" he asked, gesturing to the product.

I glanced at the advert to see what the TV was selling. It happened to be a spiffy kind of vacuum cleaner that could clean anything, anywhere. The maternal looking lady on the screen was beaming with drawn on lips and too white teeth, gracefully sliding the vacuum up and down a wall.

Who vacuumed walls anyhow?

I blushed and sunk deeper into the hood of my own hoodie Edward had so graciously shoved over my unwilling head.

That was when the whispers started up again. Here I thought I had escaped them…

I tried to continue like I wasn't hearing voices inside my head that no one else could. I really did.

Pushing down the instinct to cover my ears and cringe, I kept my gaze level, watching the infomercial woman demonstrate how, not only would the vacuum suck up all the dirt on your walls, but it would turn that same dirt into fertilizer for your garden.

But I had to infer that much. I couldn't hear her voice over the malignant murmurs.

They became louder though, and louder. 'Revenge' they all said. I couldn't make out many words because they all overlapped one another, but I did hear that one. It was said frequently, and with more menace than the rest.

They were too deafening now, and my head was swimming. I couldn't help it. I whimpered and shrunk into Edward.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Can you hear them?"

"Bella, who? Hear what?"

"_Them_!" I cried.

They were so loud, right beside me now, and above me, and below me. Everywhere.

"They want revenge," I said, knowing good and well I sounded crazy.

Thankfully, they were starting to dissipate now, starting to disperse back into silence. The familiar droning of the lady on TV replaced them, but I felt Edward stiffen and tense.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm not crazy."

"Of course you're not," he said, but he didn't sound too convinced.

"I think he did something. Findabhair, I mean."

"Bella," he said, turning me around to face him in his arms, my legs lying on his lap, his arm cradling my back. "What happened in the morgue?"

"You don't know?"

He shook his head. "I only know what I saw. I only know that he did… that terrible thing to your father."

My eyes welled up with tears. "He didn't do that."

Edward looked confused.

"I did."

****

XXX

Now came the horrendous moment of truth.

Or, as it turned out, the horrendous half-hour of truth.

I explained, to the best of my ability, what happened at the hospital, that brief and yet life changing blurb with the fates. I told him about the vial with a liquid that shone like rubies, about how I thought it contained humanity.

All the while, in the telling of this, I didn't once glance at his face, afraid of what I'd find there. He patiently stroked my back, yet I had a strange feeling that soon _he_ was the one who needed comforting.

Then, I skipped ahead to the bit with the visions, and how I thought I could bring Charlie back from the dead. And then… about how wrong that was. I told him how Findabhair could shape-shift, and make me see things that weren't there; trying to explain the way I had acted (was it only yesterday?).

He listened with the patience of someone who _has_ to be patient, someone with over one-hundred years practice at it. I censored some, trying to avoid sending him into a spiral of self-destructive panic, but he must have guessed from my scratches and punctures what had happened. It didn't take a brain surgeon, and Edward was much, much, much smarter than that.

And last, but not least, I told him that every so often, I would hear whispers, and I didn't know why.

Still, I didn't peer into his sure to be overly concerned orbs.

"I'm sick of it," I finally said, after several uncomfortable minutes of silent.

Edward shifted.

"I'm sick of something always getting in the way of your happiness."

It took me a minute, but finally the realization that it was me sunk in. I stood in the way of his seamless life. For a few flickering instances, I understood what he'd been feeling when he left me, that powerful and secret remorse that comes with knowing that _you_ are the obstacle, and not the bridge.

But I needed him. And for some unfathomable reason, I let myself believe that he really did need me too.

"Say something…"

I heard a quick intake of breath, like he was preparing himself for some long speech, but then it was let back out again in a whoosh.

It _was_ a lot to absorb. I had _thought_ I'd had humanity, and I didn't discuss it with him when I had the chance. I'd told him about the vision with Essie. I really wanted to know what he thought about that. With a start, I noticed that this was the couch from my vision, and that we were in a similar position. Essie wasn't here, though.

And with a small sigh of longing, I realized she never would be. I would never see Edward holding our child, or playing with her. He would have made the best father.

Right then, it was like something died for me, some dream I hadn't realized I'd ever harbored. Essie died.

Full-fledged understanding of what Rosalie had meant that night dawned, and tears escaped despite my efforts.

But still, that life would only be possible outside of Edward, and outside of Edward, I had no life at all. That life, the one with a picket fence, a golden retriever, and 2.5 kids was my sacrifice, my price, and I'd pay it in a heartbeat, not because Edward demanded it, quite the contrary actually. But because he didn't.

It was the grimmest sort of gift I could give.

But I'd do it for his love. Hell, I'd do it to just hold on to purely my own love for him – unrequited or no. To remain in love with Edward, I'd offer up my soul.

And according to him, that was exactly what I was doing.

"Please say something," I entreated him again.

I looked up into his face. A strange and ironic concoction of emotions marinated there: bewilderment, anger, surprise, sorrow, relief… too many.

He was stressed. I threw my arms around him.

"I'm sorry that I didn't talk about the vial with you first, but…" I reconsidered when I thought about what that would have caused, "No I'm not. I just… I don't know what I am. I just want to hold onto you."

I wanted to be lost in him again. If it weren't for his stupid ban…

"I don't know what to say," he said.

"Then don't say anything."

He didn't for a while, and we just held each other tightly on the leather sofa. Rain had started falling sometime in my tale, and was now drilling the shingled roof in an utterly narcotic way, but I didn't give into sleep.

"I wasn't there for you," he murmured quietly.

"No!" I hissed. "This isn't your fault. I was an idiot for being so naïve and gullible. You had nothing to do with it, and my choices were what got me into that mess in the first place."

"If we hadn't been involved in that war, he wouldn't have come looking for revenge. He was trying to use you to get to me, since we banned him from attacking another being." He took a slow steadying breath. "But when that didn't work, he decided he'd punish me by taking you away, and he nearly succeeded."

Impatient, I grabbed the cold skin on either side of his face. "This is not your fault. Say it with me: This is not my fault."

Okay, I sounded like a self-help tape, a seriously pissed off self-help tape, but he was going to get the message if I had to implant it into his overly thick head.

A small smile touched his lips. His fingertips reached up to skim the side of my face. "You always take the fall for mistakes I made."

"You call defeating those sadistic creatures a mistake?" I demanded. "They can't kill anymore, Edward! That's a good thing! So what if I get a little banged up because of it? This isn't your fault. In fact, almost nothing that you think is your fault is actually your fault! Things just happen! You _saved my life_ in the morgue, a situation that had absolutely nothing to do with you. You save my life all the time! Please!" I begged, "Don't be sad."

It seemed to me that I had had enough of these little chats with him over the last few days.

"Please be happy!" I tried again, tugging at his hoodie.

"I _am_ happy, Bella. As long as you are. I just… I hate it when you get hurt."

"Then change me already."

He twisted me till I was lying on my back, him hovering over me.

Worry must have flashed in my face, because he asked me if I was.

"About you."

Confusion pulled his brows together.

"I don't know, Edward," I said. "I just… while it's happening, I see you _hating_ yourself for it, and regretting it."

"I won't ever regret loving you, or giving you what you want. And though I know I'll try very hard, I could never hate myself for being selfish enough to want to spend eternity with you."

His sweet breath bathed my senses. His proximity was like the best kind of drug.

Cold lips found a hollow under my ear, making their way down to the pulse point of my neck. So we were going to do this the classic way…

"Try to ignore me, okay?" I asked. I knew that at some points, I'd be begging him to stop it.

"Impossible," he whispered. His voice was low and husky in my ear, before he moved his lips, and with them, his razor sharp teeth, back down to my neck.

I closed my eyes and waited to be assaulted with three whole days of agonizing pain.

****

AN: I'm TRYING to get to the other reviews, honestly. I just have no time. No time at all. And, well, I got into this C2 called best of the best: 1000 plus reviews. Subscribe if you have the time kindly. But, please, please, please read Listen to the Music, my newly published fic and review. It is, by my standards, the best and most heartstring tugging thing I've ever strung together. Please, please, please, if you love me. And then, I promise. I PROMISE to have the last chapter of this come out before Breaking Dawn. Right before, so I held you over right up till its release. :D Please!! It would mean so much to me.


	48. Chapter FortyOneACTUALLY

**Disclaimer:** As this is the last chapter, and I am chagrined, I will not beat up on you right now. I don't own it. Steph does.

_**Thank you! Oh thank you so much! You guys are amazing! This has been one heck of a ride, and you all made it mean so much to me… You're reviews make me laugh, cry (tears of joy), and have an ego the size of Texas. Love you all, and thanks one last time. I promised to get this out before breaking dawn, so I'll do reviewer shoutouts a bit later. Be sure to read the author's note.**_

His sweet breath tickled my neck several times, sending shivers up my spine.

I was ready. I could do this. No promblemo.

I mean, sure, the morphine would have been lovely, but who's to say it would've worked in the first place?

Edward exhaled again, and my eyelashes fluttered. I hated the waiting, the anxiety. Why didn't he just do it already?

"Are you prepared, Bella?"

"Yes," I sighed.

"Alright."

A few more apprehensive minutes passed.

"Edward," I said.

"Mhmm?"

"Are you really going to do it?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

"Yes."

"Now?" I asked.

"Not a chance."

And with those irritating words, he pulled back. My head rolled forward, and I slapped my hands down on the sofa cushions.

"If I could growl at all, I would right now."

"Oh would you now?" he asked, seeming slightly bemused at my choice of response. "Like this?" he questioned. Then, a growl, low and rumbling, tumbled out of his grinning lips.

"A bit louder."

The volume increased. I had to admit it was sexy.

"Nah," I said, "That's a wimpy growl."

Self-given lessons of Edward antagonization paid off. He pinned me underneath him once more and growled ferociously. His laughing butterscotch eyes, however, significantly decreased the scare factor.

I began giggling.

"You, my preposterous wife, have the self-preservation instincts of a ficus."

I shrugged. "Seriously though, why didn't you change me."

Rolling his eyes, he laid his head on my chest, above my (unfortunately) still-pumping heart. "Because you have four whole days of glorious humanity left, and you're not going to waste a single one."

"But the Volturi will be here by then," I said.

"True, but it'll take them a day or two to locate us, remember?"

"Oh, right. Penguins."

"Actually, love," his eyes darted up to mine, thoughtful. "Realistically, I was thinking about the northern reaches of Canada."

"Mountain lions?"

He shook his head. "Polar bears."

"Aren't those endangered?"

"Well, yes, but... I've always wanted to try one."

I shook my head at him and at the morbid normalcy with which this conversation flowed between us. "Only on special occasions."

Edward chuckled. "Anniversaries and Christmas. Deal. We'll live off elk and caribou most of the time," he promised.

I nodded. "We have to be environmentally friendly vampires…"

Shaking his head and laughing, he rose from the couch and turned off the television.

I pointed to my hoodie. "Can I take this off now?"

"Please do."

I crossed my arms and grabbed the obtrusive hunk of fabric at the bottom, before pulling it up and over my head. I was still wearing two shirts though. I removed the outer one and sighed.

All the extra fabric had made me sweaty. My hair was a matted, disgusting mop hanging limply down my back and over my shoulders.

"I need a shower."

"Care for company?"

His question took my off guard.

Ever since the wedding night, not the actual wedding night mind you, something in him had come unwound. A coil had sprung open and I finally got to see Edward play.

He had tested his limits and found the line drawn quite a ways farther from where he originally thought, and since then, he'd allowed himself some measure of lightheartedness.

It disarmed me every time. It was a little akin to walking into a zoo and expecting to see the lions and tigers standing proud and fatal, kings of their territory. But then, you walk up to the fence, peep through the bars, and see the ferocious beasts lolling about on their backs, a bright red rubber ball in their paws, having fun.

It made me a smile come to my lips every time. Fun was something Edward could use heaps more of.

He was grinning now. He'd been joking.

"That's just cruel," I said.

"I was being serious."

I sighed and began to walk upstairs.

A heavily clothed, bronze-topped blur raced past me, and he arrived at the bathroom before I did.

One of my eyebrows lifted skeptically. "What about your ban?"

"Now, Bella. I'm not promising anything. Just bathing."

Edward – wet, naked, and in a very confined place with me. I sighed. Apparently, I had a whole infinity of mastering my self-control. Might as well get a jump start.

"Oh… okay," I said slowly. "Do you even take baths?"

He cocked his head to the side. "On occasion."

"Were you going to give me one, or am I…"

He cut me off. "Both if it pleases you."

"It does very much, thanks," I said, beaming.

**XXX**

Forty-five minutes later, we were both squeaky clean and content, spooning on the bed.

"Edward…"

"Mhmm," he murmured into my hair.

"What about Charlie?" I tried to contain myself, but I couldn't help it. My voice choked on his name.

"We don't have to talk about this right now."

"I know, but I want to."

"The funeral's tomorrow."

My hand reached up to swipe a stray tear off my cheek. The sight of his disfigured face still haunted me, and I knew that it was one thing I wouldn't forget after my change.

"What about the things I hear?" My voice was barely above a whisper.

"I'll deal with that tonight."

"How?"

"Shhh. Sleep, Bella. You can worry about all that tomorrow. But for now, you need to sleep. Trust me. You'll miss the ability."

For once, I didn't argue. I simply snuggled into his stone chest, closed my eyes, and took a lengthy cat nap. Edward so adored watching me slumber.

**XXX**

When I woke up, he was gone. There was no solid presence behind me, and in the west, the sun was skimming the mountain ridge. I'd slept away most of one of my last days, and Edward was nowhere to be seen.

I checked everywhere: downstairs, upstairs, the other two upstairs…

We had an indoor pool and a two-story porch protruding from the back of the house like shelves. Who knew?

I should've known though. A Cullen had bought this house.

Horror washed through me when I ripped open the door to the garage. No silver Volvo.

The same feeling that always associated his leaving assaulted my logic and molded it into irrational speculation. I began to speculate that he had left again.

I began to speculate that he was never coming back.

The wound in my chest remained even now, and it could still hurt. What survived of my reason tried to stem the tide, hold the hole together, but there was too much remembered agony there.

Even though I knew with all my heart, deep inside, past all that stuff, that Edward would never leave again, I had to check. I couldn't sit here wondering, slowly drowning in all the speculations.

There was a little plaque on the wall, next to the front door. Six hooks protruded from the brass of it. One once had the Volvo keys hung on it. The next had my Camaro ones, and as I grabbed them, there was no doubt in my mind that Edward intended to occupy the other four.

After stumbling twice on my way, I started the car, backed out the long drive, and headed toward the Cullens house, hoping I remembered how to get there.

I took the sight of the house in my rear view mirror to be a reminder of Edward's constant place at my side.

It wasn't difficult. The winding, heavily canopied roads gave way to a highway. Reflective, green street signs pointed me in Forks' general direction.

I looked away when that particular road led past the morgue, and made a mental note to find another route later. The whispers started soon enough, warning me of imminent revenge. I knew them now though. I gripped the steering wheel tightly and waited for them to disappear.

They always did.

The only real threat from them was that they stood as proof of my transparent insanity.

I drove the familiar roads up to the Cullen's, and noted, with due relief, Edward's car in front of it. The parking job was not at all like him. It looked hasty and skid marks were left on the concrete. He'd really been flying.

Before I reached the door, Edward opened up and slid out, closing it firmly behind him. From inside, I could hear a strange sort of screeching.

The look held in Edward's orbs was fierce. Nigh, enraged.

Flashbacks from the day he left played out behind my eyes, but I shut them down speedily. No need for that. No need for anymore anguished speculation.

"What's wrong?"

I noticed then, that some sort of pearly blue liquid stained the front of his shirt in blotches. I recognized it from somewhere…

Otherworldy screeching sounded from inside again.

"Nothing that isn't being made right," he answered, a raw edge to his tone. "Why did you come here? Didn't you get my note?"

He crossed his arms, but in an odd way, as if to hide the strange sky-colored stains. Where had I seen that before?

"I didn't see a note."

The most kissable lips in the world turned down into a disapproving frown. "It was on my pillow."

His pillow… I hadn't looked there.

A blush came to my face. "I didn't see."

His eyes rolled.

"I was worried about you."

He approached me then, strolling to me with a confidence and grace I could only dream about. It was then that I noticed the same blue liquid covering his hands. What was he doing? Ty-dying T-shirts?

Without touching me in any other way, he pecked my forehead. "Don't be. But you should go now, Bella."

The blue stains on his shirt were reflective, and I saw my own concerned eyes in them. Suddenly, I knew where I recognized it from – the few bits I'd seen of the war. It was fairy blood.

"You killed him, didn't you?" Another eerie cry reached my ears. I corrected my query. "You're killing him."

Edward's features contorted into a flinch. "It's easier said than done. I…" his orbs shot open, "I didn't want you to know."

I eyed him incredulously. "And did you think I'd have a problem with that?"

"Well… well, yes." He shifted his weight nervously, from one foot to the other.

"Then you're sadly mistaken."

My gaze hardened as I thought about what that twisted king had put me through, the terrible thing he had almost made me do to Edward. To be honest, I wish Edward would have woken me. I would have insisted he let me help.

"Who else is with you?" I asked.

Cautious, probably shocked that his blushing bride could be so livid, he responded slowly, dragging the names out. "Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie."

"Rosalie?" I asked.

"She's more ferocious than she appears," he said. "And she cares about you, Bella. You're her sister now."

First off, to me, Rosalie had always seemed ferocious.

And secondly, despite Edward's words, I wasn't sure she would ever completely accept me, but…

"Will the whispers stop?" I asked.

Edward's eyes darkened a shade, and it had nothing whatsoever to do with being thirsty. "They will," he promised forebodingly. "Apparently, he can perform weak illusions across distances. Did you hear them a few minutes ago?"

I nodded. "Yeah. On the way here."

He inhaled sharply. "You won't hear them again."

We stood there in tense silence for a brief period. Then I remembered the vow Edward had made Findabhair take. He'd made him get down on his knees and swear to never attack or kill a human, vampire, or werewolf unless Carlisle commanded it. But that was all that Carlisle could make the Unseely king do. He couldn't summon him. Edward had informed me of that when he explained how I was removed from the morgue, even though I thought he was just a figment of Findabhair's wicked ruse at the time.

"How'd you find him?" I asked.

Edward laughed. "We commanded him to hit Emmett upside the head with a rolled up newspaper."

Despite the fact that a mad fairy was being executed, and, from the looks of things, tortured not twenty yards from me, I laughed. That did fall under the 'attack' category I supposed.

Some thoughts inside the house must have caught Edward's ear, for he tilted his head slightly in that direction and became very still.

Tense muscles relaxed after a few seconds. "It's over," he breathed. "The trouble with fairy kings is that they contain so much magic, their parts automatically fly back together when they're disassembled."

And oddly enough, that was not the strangest thing anyone had ever said to me.

**XXX**

After Edward had let me give him yet another shower, he sped me around Forks to every human activity its limited selection provided, trying to let me, as Edward had phrased it 'soak up my remaining humanity'.

By midnight, I had had three whole suppers unceremoniously forced down my throat, and was commanded to 'savor every bite'.

Now, we were bowling. Yes. B-o-w-l-i-n-g.

Even after I had reminded him of my ineptitude in all things involving hand-eye coordination and the obvious hazards provided by greased up floors, he had insisted, and dragged me to the building.

A neon sign lit up the window. Midnight Madness Bowling it said.

I couldn't agree more. Madness was truly an adequate description of the situation. Sheer madness.

Inside, oldies music was blaring from the jukebox in the corner by a trash can. A disco ball hung from the ceiling.

And, seeing as it was Forks we were in after all, no one else was here. The cashier, in fact, sat on a stool behind a countertop, schlumped over with his arms folded under his balding head, snoring like a chainsaw.

"Sir," Edward addressed him.

The man didn't stir.

Edward cleared his throat. "Sir," he called, a bit louder.

The man's head shot up. "I was just resting my eyes!"

I giggled into my hand.

The man looked at Edward. He was clearly expecting someone else, his boss probably. "Oh," he grumbled. "…sorry."

A lopsided smile adorned my husband's face. "Quite alright. One game please."

I was relieved he wasn't going for the double game special.

The man poked numbers on his cash register. "Six times two for the bowling," he mumbled. "And four for the shoes."

"Shoes won't be necessary," Edward said.

"No shoes, no bowling."

This guy was swiftly becoming my hero.

My husband scowled. "That's really not required."

"Sorry," the man said, scratching at a spot on his head. "It's policy."

Edward pulled a wallet out of his back pocket, opened up, and pulled out some green bills. Handing them to the cashier, he said again in an authoritative voice, "We really won't be needing those shoes."

The man counted the money with amazement. "No shoes then," he said. "Lane five."

As we picked out bowling balls, I laughed at him. "You just bribed a man so that you didn't have to wear bowling shoes."

Edward wrinkled his nose.

God above. He was attractive making faces at me.

"You would've done the same if you knew how repugnant they smelled."

"Fair enough."

At the end of the game, I had Edward beat by ten pins. He had tied my every score on purpose up till the last round.

"Close game," he said, juggling a fifteen pound bowling ball up in the air like it weighed next to nothing. The cashier had fallen asleep some minutes ago.

"You let me win," I sulked.

"Did not," he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door. "I guess bowling isn't my forte."

I rolled my eyes. "Everything's your forte," I mumbled.

"Feeling," he said simply.

I didn't ask questions. If this made him happy, and was relatively cheap, I was game. As it turned out, my 'feeling' was to be done inside our meadow. He didn't run me there like usual. Instead, we hiked it on foot.

It was a rare night, and stars were shining through the tree limbs. Only thin shavings of clouds marred the openness. As for the Moon, she was a perfect circle tonight.

He encouraged me to touch everything, because it would all feel different soon. He'd said that it took a lot more pressure from things to truly feel them, but that pressure would usually decimate the object in question. He said that my sense of touch would be completely changed.

So, I did as he asked. As I followed him blindly through the woods, I let my hands run across the flora. I tried to feel the coarse texture of the bark under the pads of my fingers, the veins and smooth silk of leaves. I plucked one from its thorny home, knowing that soon, applying that much pressure would not only remove the leaf, but probably uproot the tree as well.

I started to get the gist of what he was trying to make me appreciate.

When we reached the meadow, I took my shoes off and stood barefoot, trying to memorize the sensation of wet grass under my feet, the wholesome smell of it. When the wind blew, I turned my face toward it and closed my eyes, letting the breeze sweep away tendrils of my dark hair.

It was pleasant to stand there, so vulnerable, and yet so content at the same time. There was beauty in vulnerability I realized. There was an elegance and purity to it that invincibility couldn't dream of touching. It was the vulnerability, and the innocent oblivion that accompanied it, that the invincible looked back upon and pined for. I knew. I watched television with the invincible. I got married to it.

It was precious and fleeting, and that was why it was so protected, why mothers fiercely guarded their young.

Even so, the deer that stays in the open for too long gets shot. I opened my eyes.

"Have I felt enough yet?"

Edward was leaning casually against a tree, one hand above his head, watching me.

"Yes," he said, and when he walked toward me to pick me up in his arms, there was sorrow in his demeanor.

Maybe he saw the beauty, too. Maybe he was mourning its impending loss. I clung to him.

Our next stop was at a gas station, where Edward bought every candy bar his perfect memory recalled I liked. He walked out of the store with a brown paper bag full of chocolate and a soda.

I was nearly about to complain about the unhealthiness of it all, when I remembered that in four days, three now, it wouldn't matter.

I ate four out of the fifteen candy bars, and finished off the soda, but I couldn't hold anymore after that. Edward acknowledged this, thank God, and drove us to our house.

It was two in the morning, and after I tripped three times just in the garage, Edward swept me up and carried me up to our room. I dimly registered him changing me into my pajamas. Even dimmer, I remembered his lullaby floating in and out of my consciousness. But, with absolute clarity, like a brief electric shock, I remembered his lips touching mine.

**XXX**

Kisses woke me up like tiny splashes of cold water. Forget alarm clocks. This was the only way to go.

I blinked blearily. "Morning," I said.

"Morning," he said into my neck. "Did you dream?"

"Uh huh."

"Good." He was making sure I had my 'human experiences' again.

I enfolded him in my arms and legs, ignoring the dull throbs of my bruised torso. "Real life is better, though."

Laughter like deep bells filled me with warmth I knew would still consume me even after I became a vampire.

I sighed suddenly. "The funeral's today."

Edward's lips skipped over my shoulder, before he rested his chin on it. "You don't have to worry about a thing, Bella. Alice brought you some clothes this morning, and we'll all be there."

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

And for once, he didn't argue. He just held me while I built up the mental preparation needed to bury my father.

"I love you," he whispered into my hair, and it helped exceedingly.

The outfit Alice had picked out for me was a simple black dress, nothing fancy, entirely un-Alice. I figured she did it as a favor to me though. With the dress, she provided silver earrings, an elegant bracelet, and a pair of black flats, presumably as another favor to me.

From then on, to some extent, I let the numbness take me over, putting myself on auto pilot. The coffin lid was shut. It was a terrible reminder of what he looked like underneath. I wondered how the Cullens had explained what had happened, but was too listless to ask. I was too afraid it would shatter the lovely lack of emotions.

Edward and I were on our feet during the visitation, standing near the closed casket, accepting apologies from people we barely knew.

"Sorry for your loss," they said.

I'd give them a sad smile, and send them off with a handshake.

It was a routine I gladly fell into, as a welcome distraction from the pain.

Finally, Jacob walked toward me, Vanessa at his side. There was no bitterness in his gaze now, no jealousy towards Edward.

His girlfriend said the same things the others had: I'm sorry for your loss, but Jacob didn't, although that was probably because I could have said the same thing back to him. For a little while, the hurt brought us together in understanding, and I had my best friend back. In silence, Jacob and I just looked at each other, completely understanding. He said what I needed to hear, though, and for that, I was grateful.

He moved on, and the monotony was easier to bear.

Phil and Renee approached me next. Renee launched herself at me, in a fit of tears and hysteria. I held her and let some of my own leak out.

"Oh, baby," she said. "I'm so sorry!"

"Me too, Mom." I gave her the sad smile I had down to a T. She hugged me before morosely walking away, Phil at her heels.

The preacher read Bible verses I hardly listened to.

Billy spoke about how good a man my father was.

I didn't speak. I wondered if that was another thing Edward had taken care of.

Everything I had to say about Charlie didn't need to be said in front of other people. All I could do was hope that he knew how much I loved him.

The ride to the funeral home followed. I watched the scenery fly by from my car window, but didn't really see anything. Edward held my hand the whole way. I was terrified of the funeral, scared to death that the dam I had so carefully constructed against my feelings, would burst.

The Forks graveyard was quaint, just the sort of thing that would be seen on a film. It branched out from a white, two-room chapel that had a congregation of around thirty-five people. The steeple was decrepit and in dire need of a paint job, but it was the kind of place my father would have liked. Not anything fancy, with some personality. A bit like my old truck.

Edward helped me out of the car, and soundlessly, the funeral group marched over the green grass to the burial spot. Billy, Jake, Phil, and to my surprise, Carlisle were the pallbearers. As I watched the coffin be lowered into the ground, some of my defenses were weakened. There was a leak.

The Cullens, Jacob, Billy, Angela, Ben, and a few other of Charlie's friends gathered round the grave. Some had their heads bowed in prayer.

I've never been the religious sort, but the atmosphere moved me. I lowered my head and prayed for my father. I prayed that he knew that I loved him.

The dam I'd built burst with my Amen. I tried to quell the weeping noises, but the tears cascaded down my cheeks in a torrent. Edward put his arm around me and pulled me into his side.

I peeked at other people. One of Charlie's colleagues from the police force was saying something. My chest heaved with silent sobs.

The Cullens were all looking at me with sympathy. Alice wore the countenance I recognized most from Edward's face.

She looked guilty.

She felt like it was her fault the vampires had killed my dad because she hadn't seen it in her visions. Through my tears and blurry vision, I gave her a small smile before turning back into the comfort of Edward's arms.

People would say their last words and then walk away, one by one.

Renee was falling to pieces with me the whole time, against Phil. She spoke undistinguishable words before giving me one hug and exiting, too.

Finally, finally, Edward and I were the only ones left.

I pushed out of his arms and, on shaky legs, walked towards the grave.

"I'm sorry," I moaned. "I'm so sorry, Dad. I love you. And…" I tried to wipe away the tears from my cheeks, but it was useless. They kept flowing. "I hope you're happy." I took a deep, steadying breath.

"Goodbye."

And I knew that when I said goodbye, I wasn't just saying it to Charlie. I was saying it to Renee and Phil, to Ben and Angela, to Forks. I was saying goodbye to normalcy and convention, to my heartbeat, to the mortality I had come to accept. I was bidding farewell to everything I had ever known. That one word, this instant, was my valediction to humanity. So here I stood, toeing the line between all those things and that utterly new, mysterious, and difficult world I had chosen to dive into. And a part of me wanted to linger, to remain at this juncture, directly in the middle, forever. It wanted to never move. There was an awful lot to surrender.

Edward's hand touched my shoulder.

Death suddenly showed itself to me in a new light, not as an evil, lurking creature, but as a blessed finality, a peace that I was shunning. Once again, I peered down at Charlie's coffin. The gravediggers were waiting until everyone had left until they covered it with dirt.

Death… I'd hung around Immortality for so long that I'd nearly forgotten death existed for other people, that it would go on without me after I changed. For all my efforts, I couldn't stop it. And I was about to become frozen in the middle of its interminable ebb and flow, like a concrete island in the middle of the river, ever to remain as I was. Or was that really the truth?

All things ended one way or another.

So, maybe we weren't freezing. Maybe we were just putting on the breaks.

"Bella…"

But it was a downhill journey. The breaks couldn't hold out forever.

"Are you alright?" He gave my shoulder a squeeze.

Edward had a soul. Of that, there was no doubt in my mind. And if vampires had souls, and all things ended, wouldn't we see heaven, too?

"We should go."

Edward would see his family in the very end. An inexplicable smile alit on my lips.

"We really should be leaving."

So what if it took a few millennia to get there. I glanced at Edward's troubled orbs. The wait would be incredible.

And I supposed that the in-between, the meanwhile, the twilight time between the night and the day – that was what really mattered.

Suddenly, I turned away from the grave. I chose once and for all, threw myself face first off the cliff into what, I didn't entirely know. Ironic, I thought, that my new life should begin at a funeral.

"Edward," I addressed him at last. "Could you type something for me?"

**A/N: This is the last chapter. Reviewer shoutouts and an epilogue that'll make the last line sensical will be out later today. This story accomplished what I meant to do with it. I wasn't necessarily on a mission to have Bella changed, as much as I was on a mission to make Bella understand. To make her see what she's giving up, and THEN choose to do it anyway. Wow. I'm crying. I'm really going to miss this story. It's become such a big part of my life. Anyways, I remained true to my promise to hold you over right up till breaking dawn. WHICH I WILL BE AT THE MIDNIGHT PREMIER OF. Woot woot! Anyway, of course I know that you all will be busy reading that book for a while. So I don't expect reviews for a little while, but after that, erm, I worked like six hours straight on this chapter. It's 5 am. If you wouldn't mind, kindly come back to review after that. And if you would please, review like crazy. It'd mean a lot to me if you could help me go out with a bang. Well, guys, it's been a fun journey. I'll miss it.**


	49. EPILOGUE

_Dear Myself,_

_It's been four days since the funeral. Yes, four. That means we're one day behind the Volturi deadline. The last couple days have been spent in airplanes, different stops in different countries to confuse them. Were I one of those people to red-peg every country I'd been to on a world map, my map would pretty much be drowning in pins by now. But, as Edward said, we ended up in Northern Canada, somewhere in the Yukon Territory I've been told._

_The one reason I'm late with my getting bitten is fear. My fear of forgetting the last few years of my life, the most incredible years of my human life. There is no doubt in my mind however, that the coming eternity will dwarf them. _

_But, as for my forgetting. The documents accompanying this letter are yours and Edward's history. Just in case you forget. _

_Edward says its pointless, that he remembers everything with HDTV clarity, but he can't read my mind. He doesn't know the things that I felt. So, the last four days have been spent with me talking to him, telling him the whole story from my own shoes. I can't let myself lose those memories._

_I narrated. He typed. I ate bites of food between words only for him. Believe me, Bella, if you ever get a longing for the ability to eat again, I can tell you it's not worth the trouble, really. You got sick somewhere between Madrid and London. Edward insisted we stop this, in his words 'pointless' interview, but I, or rather, you, forced him to listen to reason. I believe we used some phrase like 'final wish'. _

_So now, nearly one-million words later, it's all down in black-and-white. Edward swore up and down to read it to you if you forget anything. Make him keep that oath. _

_So, you're a newborn vampire now. I know it won't help, but try to stay away from human blood. Jasper's won too many bets this year. Although I'm sure Edward would stop you. Me. This is confusing._

_He assures me that this isn't necessary, that I'll be fine, but things go wrong. Alice, your new fashionista sister-in-law fyi, didn't remember a thing about her time as a human, so you never know. _

_Now, Edward's pacing in the next room. Everything's ready. Through the crack in the door, I can see Carlisle standing with the morphine. They're ready._

_And I'm ready. I'm ready for immortality. But here's this letter in your front pocket. _

_Here's to hoping Edward was right after all, that we won't need this. _

_But if we do, you do, read it. Remember your humanity._

_Edward's pacing in that room. The Volturi could knock down the door any minute. It's time now._

_Forever his,_

_Isabella Marie Cullen_


	50. Outtakeswait for it ACTUALLY

**Disclaimer**: Pshh, girl. (snaps fingers) Don' you know I don own this shizzle by now. Gawd. You need yo earsss checked. Gangster impersonation… or how I really speak? You decide.

**Oh. Wow. Sure feels odd to be posting on here again. I just decided I'd post some outtakes. Stuff that I wrote before I actually got there, but then decided to tornado-change the direction of the plot, and well, it was ditched. Thundercats ago! Once again, thank you, and a septillion rounds of applause to all my reviewers. 1481! Jesus, that's a lot. No really Jesus. I did not use your name in vain. I'm honestly thanking you right now, and of course all yu'uns who clicked that little blue button. Anyway, enjoy the show. Now presenting…**

_**Rose Thorn Outtakes – Cut, Scene 1**_

_Kay. In the first story I had planned, Edward took Bella on a honeymoon in Chille, and then told her that he was going to war there, before hopping on a plane, without her, back to Forks._

He ran – and ran and ran. Wherever we were going, he was either taking the long way, or I was going to get a first hand account of what Argentina looked like. I didn't mind, though. It was thrilling. The wind rushing past me woke every cell in my body.

The world around danced by in blurs and smudges. I could have sworn we had passed several smudges at least twice.

I shrugged.

Now, I could feel Edward's pace slowing. I lifted my face from his shoulder, eager to see this mystery destination.

When I did though, my brows furrowed and I tilted my head to the side. "Edward, why are we at an airport?"

He didn't answer. That was worrisome. I didn't like airports at the moment. They had the potential to separate me from this slice of honeymoon heaven we had created here, but as long as Edward was with me, I guess that was okay.

We had reached the runway now. He lowered me from his back and turned to look at me. My ears rang when a small plane started its propellers and lifted off.

An unacceptable emotion was playing in Edward's eyes. Unfathomable sorrow.

I didn't understand. Or maybe I did, but I just didn't want to accept it yet. Skillfully, I blocked the rational side of my mind. The roar of the plane was just a dim buzz now.

"Edward?" I questioned, reaching up to brush my fingers across his face.

Swiftly, faster than my eyes could catch, he captured my hand and gently kissed each of my fingertips, one-by-one.

I narrowed my eyes at him skeptically. "What's going on?"

"I want you to have this," he replied. Then, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wooden box. A crimson ribbon was tied around it, holding a note securely in place on the lid.

"You brought me to an airport so you could give me a gift?" I asked. "You know I hate…"

I was planning on reminding him for the umpteenth time on how much I hated presents exactly, but that same despair I saw in his orbs earlier increased tenfold, and I stopped.

"What's wrong?" I demanded. "What are you doing?"

"Bella, I love you. I love you so much." His eyes bored into mine. The way he had said that. It wasn't like the way he normally told me. There was a different meaning tacked on to his words. Between the lines, he was saying goodbye.

"You're scaring me," I told him. And he was, more than he ever had, in fact. Because he was frightened…of me.

"Bella…" he started hesitantly, "I can't sit this one out." As the words fell from his lips, he cringed. Like they had pained him to say.

The pain I felt was overwhelming. It was the kind of pain that knocks the ground underneath your feet clean away. The kind that punches you in the gut and cuts your knees out from under you. The kind that shatters your heart.

Edward was going to war.

_**Rose Thorn Outtakes – Cut, Scene 2**_

_This next bit is a part where Bella explains her love for Edward to her mom when Renee tries to talk her out of matrimony._

"He's my drug. I need him more than anything else," I yelled at her.

Renee just shook her head, "That's what they all say. It ends up in ruin, and anyways, it sounds unhealthy." A worried look rested in her eyes.

Aggravated, I groaned. Then, the lightning struck, and a smile touched my lips. "It's true love. It's not supposed to be healthy," I retorted, then paced back and forth the length of the couch, "I think that real, true love…isn't the pure, white, frilly stuff you see in the movies. I think it consumes you. Owns you. Controls you." My mom looked startled. I turned my desperate eyes on her and continued, "It isn't _supposed_ to be healthy. I'd give my life for him in a second," I told her, throwing my hands in the air, "Surely, _that_ isn't healthy, but it _is_ love."

Renee was sitting on the edge of the couch, probably ready to rise and knock some sense in my head. Her mouth was open for a response, but I spoke first.

"We _are_ each other. Without him, I'm lost…I don't know, like part of me was missing, but I didn't know it till he came into my life." Renee was telling me something, but I didn't heed her, caught up in the bliss of my epiphany. "With him, I can do anything. Move mountains, all that other clichéd stuff. It's like we're the same soul. If he left me, I'd always want him to the point where I'd eventually go mad." I laughed a little.

Glancing over to the couch, I noted that my mother was not sitting on it.

No, for she was standing right in front of me. Her hands grabbed my arms and spun me around.

Immediately, the blood rushed to my cheeks. There he was, my drug, leaning against the door frame, one hand above his head gripping the wood. He looked glorious. The depth in his topaz eyes was unfathomable. And intense. And loving. And full to the brim with countless other emotions that made me weak in the knees.

He pushed himself off and slowly began walking towards me, approaching with the calm, measured pace of a predator. I wanted this to speed up. I wanted to throw myself at him, but my temporarily crippled joints prevented it.

When he was near enough, he reached up and placed both his palms on my cheeks. "I'll _never_ leave you," he said, placing one kiss on my forehead.

The words singed, and I burned – in a good way.

:"Ever." He kissed my nose.

"Ever." His lips fell to both my eyelids.

"Ever!" he finished, tilting my head down so that he could kiss the crown of my head.

"You, Isabella Swan," he said, giving me a shake, "are my soul."

His frigid arms wrapped around me, and he crushed me to him, and yet, I was smoldering.

_**Rose Thorns Outtakes – Cut, Scene 3**_

_I wrote the part where Bella said goodbye to Charlie WAYYY back in the day. Originally, the potion DID work and Charlie came back to life. However, the Fates came back insisting that someone die in his place. Bella tried to take his place, but then Edward and Jacob vied for it. Anyway, Charlie eventually dies again for them, but not before saying "I'll see you again." It's pretty much the same except for the Charlie bit. Roll film._

I'd hung around Immortality for so long that I'd nearly forgotten death existed for other people, that it would go on without me after I changed. For all my efforts, I couldn't stop it. And I was about to become frozen in the middle of its interminable flow, like a concrete island in the middle of the river, ever to remain as I was. Or was that really the truth…

_I'll see you again._ Charlie's words still hung in the air. He'd acted like he had known Edward's secret, and still he'd said that. So, maybe we weren't freezing. Maybe we were just slowing, putting on the breaks.

"Bella…"

But it was a downhill journey. The breaks couldn't hold out forever.

"Bella." A cold hand squeezed my shoulder.

I'd see Charlie and Renee. I'd reunite with my grandparents, Angela, Ben, Jessica, Mike…

"We should go."

Edward would see his family in the very end. An inexplicable smile alit on my lips.

"We really should be leaving, love…"

So what if it took a few millennia to get there. I glanced at Edward's worried orbs for once. The wait would be incredible.

And I supposed that the inbetween, the meanwhile, the _twilight _time between the day and the night – that was what really mattered.

"Edward?" I addressed him at last, "Could you type something for me?"

_**Rose Thorns Outtakes - Cut, Scene 4**_

_I did write this one little bit abou__**t **__Bella winning a tequila drinking contest in Mexico. Here's what she told Edward later: _"I won a tequila drinking contest in mexico. Do you even know how drunk you have to be to win those things. They're really rigged. If you do win, you're either too washed up to recognize a 5 from a 50 or out cold. I don't remember. I don't remember anything at all actually, and I didn't ask questions."

_**Rose Thorns Outtakes – Cut, Scene 5**_

_I had the Bella's-letter-to-herself idea long before I started writing any of this. Here is the original version._

It's done. Over…and at the same time, it's the beginning. I'm terrified that I might forget my human years, the years I fell in love with Edward. Now, I can't. I've been writing day and night for months, nearly flunking out of college, only stopping when Edward's cold hands pried my fingers from the keys.

I told him that it was almost finished. We moved to Alaska a few weeks ago in preparation for the change. It's strange to think, that this is the last thing I will type as a human. Every ounce of sweat, blood, and tears was worth it, though. I'll never forget now. I made Edward promise me that he would read it to me if I did.

I can hear him pacing now, in the other room. Today's the day.

I'm not afraid. I love him, and this is proof. In the bargain, I just happen to receive eternal bliss.

I'm ready.

Forever His,

Bella Swan

_**Rose Thorns Outtakes – Cut, Scene 6**_

_The way I first wrote Bella finding Edward, dying, on the bed. Alice is involved. Not Carlisle. And Bella thinks he's dead. Over. Gone. Kind of sad, but we all know what happened._

Edward appeared to be sleeping.

It was gorgeous, earth-shattering. I collapsed onto the floor, and noted that sleep and death were cruelly similar.

Lying there on that bed, hands folded over his chest, he looked so much at peace, so relaxed. A small smile played on his lips. Stray hair that had framed his forehead was softly tickling the pillow. Finally, I thought, as the tears rolled down my cheeks, he had gotten that rest he had so longed for.

Alice came to my side and tried to heave me to my feet.

"Bella, you're jumping the gun," she said, giving me a shake. "He's not dead!"

I started. Not dead? Did she really just say that…no, she couldn't have. One look at his still form convinced me that my subconscious had summoned up Alice and her words to ease my pain.

"Bella, do you hear me?" she cried, "He's _alive_!"

Mirthless laughter escaped my lips. "Then why didn't he come for me."

"He was hurt…" she admitted, "but not fatally. He's, well, he's in some sort of coma."

_**Rose Thorns Outtakes – Cut, Scene 7**_

_The first time I wrote that part about Bella going crazy, she realized the truth of the situation, that Edward really WAS Edward a lot sooner, and there was a lot of fluff and no sedatives involved. Have a look-see!_

"You will not take yourself from me," he snarled in my ear.

Silent, angry tears rolled down my face. I clenched my hands to stop them from fighting. I wanted this over with.

"Don't be him," I pleaded with the monster, "Anybody but him. Just end it. Or if you're not going to end it, be anyone but Edward."

"Good God! What did he do to you?" said the thing that looked like my husband.

"Stop it!" I screamed. "You're not real!"

"I am real, Bella."

His hand rubbed my lower back. I twisted, trying to pry myself out of his grip. "I. Know. Now! Stop pretending!"

"But I am real."

I pulled back to look at him, his horrified ochre eyes urging me to believe him, and I did for a split second.

"Yes, sure you are," I said. "You're real right now, and then you'll disappear, and I'll fall onto needles again. Don't play tricks with me anymore!"

I was screaming at the top of my lungs and trembling violently.

"Bella?" someone called from the doorway.

"Not now, Alice," he told her.

I used his distraction to get away, and ran as far away from 'Edward' and 'Alice' as I could.

"She'll come through," Alice said.

Edward nodded solemnly before murmuring "Thank you".

I slunk down in the corner of the room, near what was illusioned to look like Edward's CD collection, and hugged my knees to my chest.

Alice threw me one pitying stare before dancing rather heavily out the door.

The imposter heaved a sigh and slowly approached me, caution written in his eyes, a look that reminded me of someone nearing a cornered wild animal. It was the look Edward would actually have on his face if I had acted this way in real life.

Maybe it was real… No. I shook my head and trembled harder. That was what he wanted me to think. After he had me, I'd just be hurt more, and I was sick of that.

"Stop," I said.

He did to my amazement…just like Edward really would do. Unfathomable grief practically oozed out of him.

"I don't know," he began, "how to begin to convince you that I am me. Maybe…"

He appeared to be struck with an idea, and then flew over to me. His lips came ever closer to mine. I shrunk away farther. "Not again," I muttered.

"He kissed you?"

"_You_ kissed me."

I tried to remember the Fae's name again, but I couldn't dredge it up.

Edward pulled back. I didn't check his emotions. They would only push me further down into this trap.

I heard my husband's voice speak again. "Your favorite color changes from day to day. You love the way the sky melds with the land in Arizona. You stole my jacket so that you could smell me when I went hunting."

I shook harder and buried my head in my knees. A whole new torturous level had been added to the game. "Stop," I cried.

"You scrapbook sometimes, and you hate big parties and shopping." A note of hysteria had entered his voice. "Emmett bought you a stereo system for your Chevy truck on your eighteenth birthday, and you nearly got yourself electrocuted tearing it out because you find gifts of any sort absolutely insufferable."

I looked at him for the first time. He looked panicked and half-crazed. He fell to his knees and looked me square in the eye.

"Last night, Bella," he said, "I found you in the morgue. You have a gash across your right wrist and several other wounds. Carlisle and I arrived in time to stop the bleeding. Findabhair left moments before we got there, and try as Carlisle might, he couldn't summon him back. I'm so sorry for not being there to protect you. One second you were in my arms, and the next you weren't. Emmett called me, and we followed your scent to the morgue."

"Oh God…" I said. "You're really real."

Edward nodded slowly. I all but crawled over to where he was kneeling, wrapped my arms around his torso, and buried my face into his marble chest.

He picked me up and carried me over to the bed. Once he had arranged us to where we were both lying down on the white sheets, I covered him in kisses. I kissed him everywhere, his arms, his face, his neck, places I remember him groaning from. I practically worshiped him.

Finally, when my lips were skittering across his cheeks, he turned his head and grabbed my lips with his. Fingers laced. Legs intertwined. We couldn't get enough of each other.

I began to remove his shirt, wanting to do what my libido was virtually screaming for, but he stopped my hands with his.

"Not right now," he said.

"Why?" I moaned, pressing myself against him.

"Family…downstairs…super hearing."

"Oh… way to kill a mood," I muttered.

"Later," he promised, "I'll make it up to you." The raw edge in his voice was hard to argue with.

I rolled off of him, and lay beside his cold body, my hand still gripping his for dear life. I saw the crown molding on his ceiling. It was something I'd never noticed before. Following the swirling patterns with my eyes put me into a sort of trance.

"Edward, why didn't you change me?" I asked after a while.

"What?"

"When you found me, and I was bleeding to death. Why didn't you change me then?"

He shifted infinitesimally. I could tell he was nervous about the direction this conversation was headed.

"We still have a week left, Bella," he said soothingly.

"Too long," I replied, "The longer we wait, the more happens. My dad… died," I forced the word out, "and I nearly went crazy. That happened only yesterday. Change me now."

"No," he said.

I sat up in the bed, threw my legs over the side and walked away.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To get in a really, really, really bad car wreck," I explained, still walking towards the door. "Maybe wrap that Camaro around a tree or something."

As I expected, Edward moved with incredible speed to block my exit. He threw his arms out over the doorway and stood crouched.

"You'll do no such thing," he scolded. "Don't even joke about it."

"I wasn't joking," I said, although I'd never really do it. He just needed some incentive.

I put my hand on my hip and glared at him. His shirt was rumpled and his jeans were tight in his crouched position. I had to resist the urge to throw myself at him and say "Take me now".

_**Rose Thorns Outtakes – Cut, Scene 7**_

_At one point, I decided to do snippets from Edward's point of view. This was as far as I got. Alice sees Bella get in a car wreck. Strange. I don't remember writing this at all, but I cleaned up my comp. and found it, so…_

As I chased after her like a madman, for some reason, thoughts of angels kept swirling around in my mind.

Angels in bright, white robes singing or dancing or flying on wings with looks of pure freedom on their faces. There were no harps, no cherubs, no naked babies – just bright, beautiful people who cared. Against my better instincts, I zoomed my mind into focus on one lone angel standing perfectly, resolutely, still.

Unlike the others, her back was turned away from mine, her mahogany hair cascading down her shoulders. Her wings were folded and drooping behind her back, and I could tell by the curvature of her white neck that her eyes were downcast.

I stayed here.

This was how vampires dreamed. They thought until they let their subconscious take the better of them.

So, I stayed here, pushing down the accelerator harder.

I asked that angel why she was alone. She turned around.

Isabella Marie Swan turned around. She stood there in her white robe, her bare feet planted steady on the silver and pearl floor. She payed no mind to the clouds and the pure sapphire sky.

She didn't care an ounce for it. Her brown eyes were forever turned to the floor. Not even when talking to me would she raise them.

"Bella…" I said.

She fidgeted, but never removed her gaze from the ground, and never answered me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Waiting," she said, and her voice was clearer and sweeter than bells.

"For what?"

I saw the eyelashes fringing her eyes dart back and forth a few times, before her bow mouth responded.

"…you."

I shook my head violently, trying to rid myself of this daydream turned nightmare. My endeavors were successful, and I turned the Volvo's steering wheel just in time to avoid colliding with a tree.

Picking up the little silver device, I dialed Bella's number again, to tell her to pull over. She would not end up like she was in my daydream or in Alice's vision.

That was to say, dead.

I wouldn't allow it.

I sped along the winding highway, paying no mind to other cars. I passed them. I had to get to her in time.

Some time in the next few minutes, I ditched the car, and ran the rest of the way on foot.

**A/N: That's all I could find so far. If I see anymore, I'll let you know. **

**OH, by the way. Update. My Twilight flame burned down after Breaking Dawn, and still isn't up to par with what it used to be. (No offense lovers. It wasn't bad. Just…unexpected.) Anyway, drum roll please.**

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**IT'S SEQUEL TIME! The sequel, called 'Cold' (anyone guess why), should have the first chapter posted in December. (There's a lot on my plate right now.) Until then, kindly read and review Rio de Janeiro. Warning though: new chapters posted slow. I'm a busy girl.**


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